Asclepius

[Asclepius]

When did you tend to listen to them?
I didn’t listen to them, I just enjoyed the process of making them. Buying a fresh budget pack of blank tapes from Argos was a treat, which I suppose evolved into buying tubs of blank CDs off eBay to rip albums. Now I just consume everything on computers without physical receptacles.

Also, same – the last two CDs I bought were those ones where it’s “buy our CD for £5 and you get a free ticket because we want to get higher in the charts”…

[Asclepius]

When did you tend to listen to them?
I didn’t listen to them, I just enjoyed the process of making them. Buying a fresh budget pack of blank tapes from Argos was a treat, which I suppose evolved into buying tubs of blank CDs off eBay to rip albums. Now I just consume everything on computers without physical receptacles.

I love that. Thanks for the clarification. To read them just for the joy of reading them, and never listening back.

Fresh packs of tapes were an amazing treat though, you’re right. We did indulge in those. My Dad was fine with blank tapes being recorded onto, but just not buying new releases on tapes.

He borrowed this obscurity Beatles comp that was 8 LPs deep – The Beatles Box – Wikipedia – from someone at his work and copied them onto four tapes. All these decades on and I still think of the Beatles’ Era 1 and 2 being bookended between I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party and Kansas City, Era 2 and 3 between Got To get You Into my life and Penny Lane (more sensible!) and Era 3 and 4 between While My Guitar Gently Weeps and Bungalow Bill…

[Asclepius]

Unlike Lister, I did not lose my virginity at twelve.

It’s not a ‘losing my virginity’ story. But I took them on a school trip abroad once. It was a trip that my handful of friends were meant to be going on, but one by one they pulled out. I stubbornly decided still to go. I wasn’t a popular kid. The teachers ended up having to stick me in a room with a lad one year up, as no-one wanted so share with me. He was, of course, teased that I was going to bum him in the night.

I’d barely spoken to him before, but as I unpacked my Dwarf tapes, he struck up a conversation, and with that one thing in common, we got on. He was a lovely guy, putting up with his lot of being stuck with the unpopular kid. I wasn’t even smart enough or quick enough to be a proper geek.

Reader, I didn’t bum him. I’m generally not that way inclined. But, ironically, he was the one who – some years later – ended up getting married to a chap.

[Asclepius]

A kid of 10 actually coping with the sound of their own voice? That’s impressive! I’m not much of a fan of my own voice, even now, but at 10…urgh! Good on you for doing that though. When did you tend to listen to them?

The person from school who told me the Roman Numeral story insisted it was because the Video Shop Guy was foreign. But I didn’t remember him being *particularly* foreign. I mean, he had a slight tan to his face, but had an English name and seemed to speak good English. Even my *Dad* liked him. And he didn’t like them forinners much at all.

None of our small town’s video rental shops even survived into the age of Google Streetview. No photos of them at all, tbh. Same with the handful of second hand record shops I used to spend by teens in, too.

Streetview is great for 2008+ documentation. And local Boomer Facebook groups are amazing for the 1940s-1970s memories. But for those of us in the middle, you just have to keep the images of what’s in your mind.

[Asclepius]

“Chris! The BBC’s longest running sci-fi comedy starred two actors of colour, had a Trans computer in it, and also featured a robot whose gender was assigned against his will, but he was able to take autonomy and change it back.”

[Asclepius]

It makes me think back to Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers where Lister talks about Cat picking up the fundamentals of driving the ore transport truck pretty quickly, and soon after being able to pull off all sorts of stunts in it. 

The difference bring that, in the book, Cat is at the controls making that happen. In the TV series, he is dancing and the machine appears to be following him. And then all of the machined follow him. As do the teeth.

[Asclepius]

Chose to carry on with Krytie TV today.

Couldn’t continue with it. Where Lister and Rimmer realise they’re watching Kochanski in the shower, and settling in to see everything…

Just too grim. I didn’t think it would be less watchable than Timewave, but I absolutely hated this. Morally worthless.

[Asclepius]

Holly: [pick from ‘Captain’/’Archibald’/almost anything that would get a laugh. At this stage, Doug would have probably considered ‘Emily’ or something would have got a big laugh, too. And it would have.

For a bit of pointless trivia, according to his interview with Talkie Toaster for the Red Dwarf website, his real name is Oswald Blenkinsopp.

Including that in any Series 8 episode would have increased its laugh count by about 10%

[Asclepius]

OK guys I have a confession to make – it was me. At age 7 I flooded the Better Than Life episode poll with responses that boosted the score of Series VIII. I hadn’t even heard of Red Dwarf at that point, it just seemed like the thing to do.

Well, it was either you or Rob Grant…

[Asclepius]

It’s a good point, I think Kill Crazy is well-performed by Jake Wood, even if you can argue it’s a bit OTT, but the name is on-the-nose dumb. Though perhaps it needs to be, for such a cartoonish character?
And regardless of whether this kind of fourth-wall-breaking-ish moment ‘belongs’ in Dwarf or not, it’s a highlight of a series where highlights are few and far between:

I liked that. I like the character and I like the performance. The name is ridiculous. It needed to be acknowledge that it’s a nickname.

Lister: “Kill Crazy”? Seriously?!

Holly: Well, he can’t have those hobbies and keep his original name, can he?

Lister: Why? What is his real name?

Holly: [pick from ‘Captain’/’Archibald’/almost anything that would get a laugh. At this stage, Doug would have probably considered ‘Emily’ or something would have got a big laugh, too. And it would have.

[Asclepius]

But what really irked me was just how fucking ugly the series was. 

That’s a good one. It really does look horrible, doesn’t it? I’d struggle to define it, but it really is horrible to look at.

[Asclepius]

And the worst thing about Series 8 is that, frankly, you – yes, *you*, love it. Look at how you voted for it!

BETTER THAN LIFE POLL 1999

• 1. Back To Reality
• 2. Gunmen of the Apocalypse
• 3. Quarantine
• 4. Polymorph
• 5. Stoke Me A Clipper
• 6. Blue
• 7. Cassandra
• 8. Only The Good…
• 9. Backwards
• 10. Dimension Jump

Two episodes in the overall Top 10. Alongside Blue. WTF? Is that what you like? 

• 11. Back In The Red
• 12. Demons and Angels
• 13. Marooned
• 14. Krytie TV
• 15. White Hole
• And another two here. Or four if you split up Back in the Red. Which is better than Marooned. That’s the sort of comedy you like and voted for, that is.
• 16. Queeg
• 17. Pete
• 18. Legion
• 19. Timeslides
• 20. The End

There’s Pete. The 17th best story of all time, because you love it so much. Better than all those three underneath it, and most of Series 1-6. What are you like? If you could have rated A Prince Amongst Men you’d have given it 3rd place behind Funky Bunker wouldn’t you? You ignorant sods.

• What are you like, 1999 RD fans?

So hands up, who took part in this one?

[Asclepius]

I’ve gazed upon your multitude of points, and here are the points I have deemed worthy of further study.

Krytie TV worse than the Petes? My memory was the other way around, as I remember cringing all the way through the viagra crap, but I also acknowledge that, at 18, that was more cringey than my vague memories of Krytie TV’s sexism being. I’m sure I’ll have strong thoughts on that as an old person, now.

Cassandra = Stasis Leak? Yeah, probably about that level.

Ackerman is fine. Kill Crazy? Funny character, but the name? FFS. Even when he’s first introduced by name in that clumsy, clumsy way. Ugh. Cringe.

The Blue Midget dance made me cringe a hole in my seat. And the false teeth. FFS.

[Asclepius]

I watched Series 8 back in 1999. Unlike Series 1-7 (watched at home), I watched Series 8 largely in other places. A computer lab one night, when we tuned the CCTV in to actual TV, presumably some friends’ rooms that were affluent enough to have TV, etc. I can’t remember the details, sadly.
Series 1-6 I’d watched repeatedly, repeatedly on video. I’d then taped them to audio and listened to them almost compulsively. I made my own little tape covers using MS Publisher.
I’ve really enjoyed the cast commentaries on them in recent months. I’ve been listening to them on youtube while I do other things (walking places, driving…) and as I can remember the episodes so well, it works without the visuals.
Series 7 mostly worked for me, too. I’d seen it and remembered it well enough. I may have re-watched some.
And then the Series 8 commentaries came and they didn’t work for me – I couldn’t remember the stories and scenes well at all, so I started watching them again, consoling myself that I do remember Cassandra being good, at least.
But jay-hey-sus christ, this is awful, awful TV. The first three in particular. It’s an awful combination of the plots being both weak and convoluted and the jokes being signposted from about a mile beforehand.
I think if I were to create an example, it’d be like taking Cat’s
“I have got hair like yours. It’s just not on my head”
into
“I have got hair like yours. It’s just not on my head. It’s my pubic hair” or something.
And the denouement of Back into the Red III is Rimmer about to get r@ped in jail.
And suddenly we’re meant to also be getting our laughs out of women who are either a bit chubby, or a bit old and very much of colour. What the f’s that about?
I’ve made it through, though. I’ve made it to Cassandra. This one does work. Its plot works, there are some big smiles (if not laughs). But I do remember from 25 years ago, Krytie and Pete both being absolute cringe. I’ll persevere, but….wow…what happened…
it makes the resurgence since Back to Earth even more miraculous. I like BtE despite its limitations, and the Dave era has continued to be pretty good overall…

I watched Series 8 back in 1999. Unlike Series 1-7 (watched at home), I watched Series 8 largely in other places. A computer lab one night, when we tuned the CCTV in to actual TV, presumably some friends’ rooms that were affluent enough to have TV, etc. I can’t remember the details, sadly.
Series 1-6 I’d watched repeatedly, repeatedly on video. I’d then taped them to audio and listened to them almost compulsively. I made my own little tape covers using MS Publisher.
I’ve really enjoyed the cast commentaries on them in recent months. I’ve been listening to them on youtube while I do other things (walking places, driving…) and as I can remember the episodes so well, it works without the visuals.
Series 7 mostly worked for me, too. I’d seen it and remembered it well enough. I may have re-watched some.
And then the Series 8 commentaries came and they didn’t work for me – I couldn’t remember the stories and scenes well at all, so I started watching them again, consoling myself that I do remember Cassandra being good, at least.
But jay-hey-sus christ, this is awful, awful TV. The first three in particular. It’s an awful combination of the plots being both weak and convoluted and the jokes being signposted from about a mile beforehand.
I think if I were to create an example, it’d be like taking Cat’s
“I have got hair like yours. It’s just not on my head”
into
“I have got hair like yours. It’s just not on my head. It’s my pubic hair” or something.
And the denouement of Back into the Red III is Rimmer about to get r@ped in jail.
And suddenly we’re meant to also be getting our laughs out of women who are either a bit chubby, or a bit old and very much of colour. What the f’s that about?
I’ve made it through, though. I’ve made it to Cassandra. This one does work. Its plot works, there are some big smiles (if not laughs). But I do remember from 25 years ago, Krytie and Pete both being absolute cringe. I’ll persevere, but….wow…what happened…
it makes the resurgence since Back to Earth even more miraculous. I like BtE despite its limitations, and the Dave era has continued to be pretty good overall…

Before I start replying to you all, I’ve just finished Cassandra, and it was about as good as I remember. Smart enough, with a good plot, and some big smiles, if not out and out laughs. Watched about 10 minutes of Krytie TV and it’s about what I remember of that one too, sadly.

The cast are doing a great job, though. Particularly Rimmer. But the material just isn’t there.

[Asclepius]

I’m not going to contribute.

I’m not going to read it.

I’m going to wait for the Dwarfcast about it.

[Asclepius]

I think you’ve got a dodgy print, mine is fine on those counts.

My apologies, Sir. I had engaged humor mode.

(I was referring to the quality of the photo thomasevans had taken of his book).

[Asclepius]

Post’s arrived. A book is a thing of beauty. The voice of freedom. It’s the essence of civilisation. It’s fucking freezing here tonight so I might need to burn it. 

The words on the back cover are blurry. Also, the book is bent across the back middle in a sort of arc shape.

You would do right to burn it.

[Asclepius]

Imagine that you’d been on TV, literally playing the voices of Norman Tebbit, Michael Heseltine, Nicholas Ridley, Francis Pym, Kenneth Clarke, Norman Fowler in a weekly satirical show….

…and you STILL think that Starmer’s lot is worse?

[Asclepius]

I mean, if you count commentaries, they are ALL written by the cast.

Apparently Robert’s bits are scripted by Talbot Rothwell.

[Asclepius]

Back to Earth Part III.

Craig writes part of the script. You seem him do it on screen.

[Asclepius]

I bet this guy has room for it. That’s a Judge Dredd CityCab rotting away in the front garden there. Plenty of room for a Carbug, too.

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Mauldeth+Rd/@53.4356976,-2.2224134,3a,17.3y,198.56h,89.37t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sWika1QyPZAcFa6RVCjalgA!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fcb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile%26w%3D900%26h%3D600%26pitch%3D0.6311589028801166%26panoid%3DWika1QyPZAcFa6RVCjalgA%26yaw%3D198.5564093611244!7i16384!8i8192!4m6!3m5!1s0x487bb24d67cc8097:0xa88bf3dbe4861a1!8m2!3d53.424866!4d-2.2026126!16s%2Fg%2F1tx8srxy?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI0MTIwOC4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

[Asclepius]

Resurrecting this thread because I just did a major rewrite of one of the stories I shared here last year and posted it to Wattpad like the zillennial scum I am. I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.

That is absolutely cracking.

I see that a few people down the thread have suggested it would be a dream if Chris Barrie would narrate it. I’ve taken some examples of Chris Barrie speaking, and have used some AI software to try and make that happen. Hopefully you’ll enjoy the results: https://youtu.be/YTumn0SXBD4?si=oxSsb4F9ZqoBHU51

[Asclepius]

Chris, it’s Aleks, your wife. Can you just film a minute about my company, but not have a go at the wokes, modern technology, or mental health issues?

I’ll give it a go…!

[Asclepius]

I’ve only listened to the DVD commentaries over the last few months, but what really surprises me is that Chris – of all of the four ‘boys’ – is the most respectful of everyone he’s worked with, willing to put in a good word or defend other actors, crew-members, keen to know the names of actors in smaller roles, etc.

Contrast that with Danny, who’s actively obnoxious at times, Craig who wants to rip the piss out of people at times, and Robert who – sometimes – is just talking about the beauty of some of the female actors/women in general.

Even on the behind-the-scenes videos made for each of the new series, Chris seems the most appreciative of being able to do the stories, putting up with the various (slapstick) indignities etc. and now this. Ever-increasingly this.

Did a damn burst? Or like many “anti-wokesters”, was he always of this mind set, but his public persona of being ever-polite stopped it rising to the surface?

[Asclepius]

Just to add to the rumour mill, but Craig Charles is absent from 6 Music this week…

I’m going to claim it’s a script-read.

[Asclepius]

Oh yeah…for some reason I thought the follow up was referencing an older appearance, but it was 5th July 2024. So yeah, looks like I’ve just BROKEN SOME NEWS.

Go me.

[Asclepius]

Hi, dead thread.

I’ve been listening to the Series 1 commentaries for the first time (it’s mad that they’re from 20 years ago). It struck me that Danny said he’s “the only one that visits” Norman, suggesting that they did maintain more of a friendship than the other guys did with him. Perhaps that was the source of the mad bantz?

[Asclepius]

Thanks for the additional recommendations. I’ll try those two, too.

[Asclepius]

Thanks for fixing that! Hadn’t realised it had carried along some formatting with it.

[Asclepius]

Absolutely bypassed, yes.

I’ve just always been taken by the fact that, no matter how shit-faced he is, he remains an absolute professional:

(400) Craig Charles absolutely smashed off his face while DJing. – YouTube

Craig Charles – Live on Earth (a historical curiosity from 1995) (cookdandbombd.co.uk)

“Me and a couple of mates DJd at a festival in 2018 and were on before CC. I’m a huge fan of his radio show so considered it quite an honour but the rumours were that he wasn’t going to show. Anyway, there I was at the back of the stage while my mate finished off our set when the organiser legged it up to me saying ‘he’s here! Quick, set this mic stand up, about this (5 foot) high’. I did this, then turned around to see CC. He was fucked. He had eyes like pin-pricks and was having some difficulty in staying upright as he staggered onstage. He fell backwards into the banner, which fortunately for him was hung on a solid wall. Later on, he dropped all his CDs on the dancefloor which I picked up for him. He managed to get through his two hours but was really struggling at points. Good tunes, but by the numbers. To be fair, I found out that was his third gig of the night plus his radio show. I’m told that later on he put away a bottle of Grey Goose in under an hour.”

Q: Ha. How much dj-ing was he doing? He looks like he’s doing a lot but I’m sure at one gig a lot of it was premixed with phasers and stuff all over it, every so often he’d clang into another big re-edit. Not arsed like, it’s still bloody good fun.

I’ve heard the pre-mix rumours so I was watching him like a hawk. If it was pre-mixed he was disguising it well as he was shuffling through his CD book and using both CDJs. Wasn’t really mixing as such as most of his tunes are with live drummers so hard to beatmatch for long, though he did clang through a couple of beatmatches and even did some half-arsed scratching. 

[Asclepius]

I get my podcasts through Spotify…and managed to find that here. Thank you for the recommendation. It’s a good listen that got me to wash up, put away *and* sort the laundry without doomscrolling. That’s all I wanted. Thank you!

Have you tried ”The Review of Death Podcast” on the Batmanmarch YT channel? They are pretty relaxed and comedic. LOTS of Red Dwarf references and nothing taken TOO seriously. I highly recommend :)

[Asclepius]

Just wanted to share this.

I have an 11 yr old (likes New Who, doesn’t like to admit it) and an 8 yr old (lives and breathes all Who).

Vague spoilers…

Tonight…fucking hell. That was a classic. And the kids’ reactions? It was as much of a privilege to watch that as it was the episode itself. When the Horror started they were howling in fear…and when the absurdity kicked in they were laughing in relieved hysterics. And then back to the horror again. Faces hiding in cushions.

And tonight, though the elder doesnt like the younger…”Can he sleep in my bed; because I’m going to have nightmares?” He agrees. But all it takes is a monotone “My arms are too long” and they’re both off again. And then, brilliantly, the younger one bridges backwards, hands on the floor, and fucking scuttled at her and she’s screaming and it’s amazing.

And Dr. Who was amazing. And how much they loved it was amazing.

Spoiler end.

That was the 90 minute highlight of a shitty day. Things are rarely this good, but that was worth a lot.

[Asclepius]

There’s an old actor with a tummy bug, lying, dying
And he sharts himself up onto one elbow and he turns to his mates
Who are all gathered around and he says

Help me website update mate
Help me website update
There’s a global conspiracy to talk about, mate!
So help me website update
Altogether now!

Unplug the electric cars, Karl
Unplug the electric cars
They’re trying to get rid of real ones, mate!
So unplug the electric cars

Give the woke a poke, folks.
Give the woke a poke.
That includes the doctors who could cure me!
So give the woke a poke.

[Asclepius]

Interesting! Any word on how much Dwarf is there? And also, how much Doctor Who? I’m down in that London this coming weekend with a young Who fan, so am curious…

[Asclepius]

Thanks all for the really helpful feedback, and not for having a go at what I’m comfortable with/not comfortable with! Like some of you have said, it’s really hard to gauge, and all kids and what they’ll cope with is different.

Might give it a try with the first series. Apart from the stuff with the Cat in Confidence and Paranoia, I’m not sure there’s much else in there that would be too much of an issue.

[Asclepius]

Is this canon?

It is, yes. This is a promotional teaser for the third Big Finish box set of Spare Head Monologues.

[Asclepius]

Stunning. Like all of you doing this, you’ve captured the tone so well.

[Asclepius]

These are fantastic. But the onanistic Kryten one was really horrible. Did Rob Grant register an account on here to write that?

[Asclepius]

These @ActualKryten tweets keep coming up in my feed and…I don’t really know how to describe them. I’ve only read one of Robert’s books, but the difference in quality between its well written, gentle humour and these inane tweets is stark. I don’t get what he’s trying to do with this. It’s not funny, and it’s barely in character.

[Asclepius]

“Danny has posted another tweet I don’t understand”.

I normally get them on their second or third read, but very rarely the first. He’s got a lot of things that (rightly) rile him, and isn’t afraid of firing them out onto his platform. I like his style, but wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of him!

[Asclepius]

Doug’s one episode short for RD XIV. Having given Kryten a chance to write an episode in VII, he now turns to Chris.

[INT. RED DWARF – CORRIDOR – DAY]

CAT is strutting down the corridor, posing in front of every reflective surface he passes. LISTER is lounging against the wall, holding a can of Hooch.

LISTER: (calling out) Hey, Rimmer! Check this out! I’ve just discovered a new way to combine pizza and beer. It’s like the ultimate taste explosion!

RIMMER walks in, looking disheveled, with a crazed glint in his eyes. He’s holding a stack of papers covered in bizarre diagrams and scribbled notes.

RIMMER: (whispering) Shh! Lister, do you have any idea what’s really going on here? The entire ship is a pawn in a galactic game of chess played by sentient vending machines!

LISTER: (confused) What? Rimmer, are you on about those conspiracy theories again?

RIMMER: (excited) Conspiracy theories? These are the undeniable truths that have been hidden from us by the Powers That Be! The vending machines are the puppet masters pulling our strings!

CAT: (rolling his eyes) Oh, smeg off, Rimmer! Nobody cares about your loony theories.

RIMMER: (ignoring Cat) Just look at these patterns, these connections! It’s all there in the vending machine purchase records. They’re controlling the stock market with crisps and chocolate bars!

LISTER: (sighs) Rimmer, you’re losing it. Come on, let’s get some food before you start thinking the vending machines are plotting to turn us all into toothpaste.

[INT. RED DWARF – DINING AREA – LATER]

RIMMER, LISTER, and CAT are sitting at a table, eating. Rimmer is still rambling about conspiracy theories.

RIMMER: And then there’s the matter of the malfunctioning self-wiping toilet paper dispenser in the science lab. It’s a signal, Lister, a signal that the illuminati are planning to infiltrate our thoughts through our, well, you know!

LISTER: (facepalming) Rimmer, please. Can’t we just have a normal conversation for once?

CAT: Yeah, man, like about something that actually matters, such as the newest fashion trends in the universe.

RIMMER: (leaning in) But don’t you see? It’s all connected! The fashion industry is just a front for mind-controlling nanobots in our clothing!

LISTER: (exasperated) Look, Rimmer, your mind’s been addled by too much exposure to weird stuff out in deep space. You’re losing touch with reality.

RIMMER: (defiant) No, I’m waking up to the real reality, the one they don’t want us to see! I’ve seen the truth, Lister, and it’s all out there if you’d just open your eyes.

LISTER: (sighs) Fine, Rimmer. You do you. Just don’t expect us to join you on your journey to Loonyville.

[INT. RED DWARF – RIMMER’S SLEEPING QUARTERS – NIGHT]

RIMMER is alone in his quarters, surrounded by walls covered in intricate string-and-tack diagrams connecting various objects and events. He’s muttering to himself as he tries to make sense of it all.

RIMMER: (whispering) The coffee machine uprising… the hidden messages in the curry dispenser… the secret agenda behind the vending machine’s stock rotation algorithm…

[INT. RED DWARF – OBSERVATION ROOM – NEXT DAY]

RIMMER is still engrossed in his conspiracy theories, talking to himself while staring out into space. KRYTEN enters the room.

KRYTEN: Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your recent preoccupation with these conspiracy theories. Is everything alright?

RIMMER: (excited) Kryten, you’re just in time! I’ve cracked the code, deciphered the messages! It all makes sense now!

KRYTEN: (concerned) Sir, I must remind you that these theories are based on unfounded speculations. There’s no concrete evidence to support…

RIMMER: (interrupting) Nonsense, Kryten! The evidence is everywhere, hiding in plain sight. Look at the star formations, the way the asteroids are arranged… It’s a cosmic game of Battleship, and we’re the unwitting pawns!

KRYTEN: (sighs) Very well, Sir. I’ll just be over here, oiling the mechanoid that cleans the light fixtures.

[RIMMER continues to mutter to himself, lost in his conspiracy thoughts, as Kryten goes about his duties.]

[INT. RED DWARF – COMMON ROOM – LATER]

RIMMER, LISTER, CAT, and KRYTEN are sitting around the table. Rimmer’s eyes are still wide with excitement.

RIMMER: And so, my friends, I’ve deduced that the real reason behind our existence on this ship is to serve as unwitting pawns in the grand scheme of the Galactic Vending Machine Consortium!

LISTER: (sighs) Rimmer, can we just watch some telly or something?

RIMMER: (leaning in) Oh, but that’s exactly what they want us to do, Lister! The TV signals are encrypted with subliminal messages that control our every move!

CAT: (rolls his eyes) Seriously, Rimmer, you need to take a chill pill. Or better yet, a chill drink. Bartender, get me something strong enough to erase Rimmer’s conspiracy nonsense from my brain.

KRYTEN: (to Rimmer) Sir, might I suggest engaging in an activity that might divert your attention from these far-fetched theories? Perhaps a round of jigsaw puzzles or a game of solitaire?

RIMMER: (pauses) Jigsaw puzzles… (excited) Of course! The pieces, Kryten, they’re a metaphor for the fragmented truths we’ve been denied! I must uncover the puzzle of the universe itself!

LISTER: (facepalms) Great, now he’s turning jigsaw puzzles into a conspiracy.

[The rest of the crew exchange amused glances as Rimmer dives into his new “puzzle conspiracy” theory.]

[FADE OUT]

[Asclepius]

Point is I just think we should stop guessing peoples motives for anything based on such mundane occurrences as to who and when someone is followed on a social network.

Maybe the transphobes and fascists we follow are just the friends we made along the way?

[Asclepius]

One rumour currently circulating on a popular Dwarf forum suggests that everything on @ActualKryten is actually the sequel to ‘Into the Gloop’.

Makes you think.

[Asclepius]

And I say all this knowing full well that as a white, CIS male (got it in one, Asclepius! How did you know…) I have in the past been racist, homophobic and transphobic. And I know it can take a lot to take a step back, reject learned attitudes and try to improve yourself.

I think there’s a lot of us white, cis men of a similar c40 age who thought we were terribly amazing EdgeLords in the late 90s/early 2000s Internet days, and I’ve certainly been guilty of what you note for yourself. But that’s the schism, isn’t it? Eventually, a combination of “that’s not ok” from others and realising the way things were shifting in the National discourse, the rise of the right, the far right etc. and you came to realise that either you stop sounding like them and make jokes about something else, or you were one of them.
And it’s ok to have made mistakes and have learnt. Or, hell, even to still slip up. When Doug Gets It Wrong (TM) generally there’s a factor of thinking “Oh, that’s not like him”, even in the heavy – and justified – Timewave criticism. You can trawl his Twitter timeline too, if you like. For a white guy in his late 60s it’s remarkably ‘ok’. A lot of us probably think we ‘know’ him from interviews, brief convention meetings, or just from watching his solo RD work for the last few decades, and we know that when his ideas are jarring or hurtful to us and others, that it’s an anomaly. But if that feeling changes, I’ll be happy to throw the appropriate opprobrium at him.

[Asclepius]

A bit like their attempt to speak up on sexism and gender roles in Parallel Universe, only to find it feels a wee bit dated in the changing face of 35 years of evolving social politics. 
But now I just reckon Rob probably wrote that bit. 

I think that, for its time, Parallel Universe stands up pretty well. It’s dated in places, but it is really trying to say something about misogyny, gender roles etc. Better regarded comedy from that time – hi, Blackadder! – has dated more poorly, I feel.

As for Rob and his views…it looks quite a lot like he’s just tunnelled down a rabbit-hole, doesn’t it? I doubt he used to hold these views, but once you start to pick at one particular thread of rabbit-holery, it’s clear where you end up. I had a good mate once, pre-Covid, who started with being wary of the vaccine, and ends up just filling Facebook with his reposts from GB News’ most toxic presenters. This used to be a sound guy, with a great social conscience and trans friends. But now he prefers sharing posts by Calvin Robinson. Followed the rabbit. I wonder what got Rob into it? He seems to think that Nigel Farage’s treatment by Coutts was poor, for a start, but presumably there was a start into this before then. Date it by his follows if you like.
Also…Into the Gloop. As many mistakes as Doug’s made over the last couple of decades, I’m fairly sure he’d never have given us the line about Lister lusting after Japanese gym knickers. Or the phrase ‘nug-nugs’.

[Asclepius]

I don’t find it grossly offensive to my sensibilities (although I get 100% what you mean). It’s more that it’s lacking in both compelling Sci-Fi elements, humour, and general readworthiness.
Which are important components in a sci-fi comedy novel if you ask me.

This is why I’m finding the Book Casts so interesting. I’ve not finished the LH one yet but, to me as a teenager, I preferred LH. I loved the plot and thought it clever. And then our Book Club guys keep driving huge trucks through stuff that I had just accepted at the time. I thought it had plot and a bit of humour, whereas Backwards veered towards gross-out humour a little too much. I’ve read both a few times and am looking forward to hearing my memories and nostalgia challenged. But I’m sure there was too much genital-based torture.

[Asclepius]

That is lovely, thank you Asclepius. My own motivation to keep doing any of this is the fandom and more specifically the people that decide to part of the G&T community.

It’s a cracking community. You love the show. A lot. But aren’t ever wary of calling out stuff that has aged poorly. Or that was written five years ago and should never have been. It’s a joy to revel in and be nostalgic in, but to have that nostalgia challenged, too. Great stuff to run too. Or walk back from school drop off to.

[Asclepius]

And a reminder that Doug, although he’s often got it so wrong (“and here’s Kryten having a chuckle while evil Lister is dragged off to be raped”)
I…. uhm….
I’m really struggling to recall what this is a reference to and it’s sort of important I find out before I go to sleep tonight

The concise summary on one of the Last Human book clubs of a key plot line. It’s obviously not written as that in the text, but that is what happens. Lots of non consensual sex in that tome.
I remember buying it and starting to read it around at my Nans*. I suppose I’d have been about 15. It was a lot.

*Not to my Nan**

**It was to your Nan.

[Asclepius]

Also, “he’s just following them to know what they’re up to” doesn’t explain the apparent absence of left wing follows. In combination with the likes and the lack of his own tweets against them, this pretty much has to be Occam’s razor.

I’m not even asking for ‘left wing’. I’ll take flabby centrism. I’d take the Richards Osman and Cole without wincing too much. But this is just horrible. Really grim and unrelenting.

Timewave, Dear Dave’s ending and Krytie TV got nothing on this.

[Asclepius]

I pressed the ‘submit’ button this afternoon after much thought and then ran away for a bit. Was I going to be berated for sniffing too deep, and would people be defending Rob’s free thinking and right to follow who he wants?

But no, you didn’t. You’re a fucking great bunch of cunts.

I’ll write at some point about what Red Dwarf means and has meant to be over the years, but the Dwarfcasts only came into my life earlier this year when I became aware of the Return of Rob and the excellent interview that was done with him. From there I eventually listened to every one of the ‘live reaction’ Casts, and am now on the book club. And it’s all lovely. Really rude, filthy, and hilarious. But lovely in a warm way that’s continually filled with great people who don’t ever punch down. And even when the book ones are led by three (?) white (??) men (???) it’s always bang on in what you call out.

Spot on products, spot on fandom. And the response to this twitter stuff speaks of a great fandom.

And a reminder that Doug, although he’s often got it so wrong (“and here’s Kryten having a chuckle while evil Lister is dragged off to be raped”) we definitely had the better half in control these last 28 years.

[Author]

Replies