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  • in reply to: The Sound Design Of Red Dwarf #264568
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I don’t think much about the sound design of Red Dwarf… so it must be pretty good.

    in reply to: Series X US Re-release #264553
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yes, if your primary method of watching new series Doctor Who is via digital versions on Amazon or iTunes, that is pain.

    Then again, even the DVD range fucks you around from time to time. Christmas specials are only included on the next full series box set if they share a Doctor, but for Time of the Doctor they force you to either double dip on 3 other Matt Smith Christmas specials or double dip on the series 7 finale. Still irritated about that.

    in reply to: Series X US Re-release #264548
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    It’s not just the US releases that make this mistake either. The UK DVD/Blu ray release of Back to Earth didn’t have “The Complete Ninth Series” on its cover, as we all know it should.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #264451
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The real question is why Red Dwarf was consistently travelling away from Earth for the whole 3 million year gap, implicitly at top speed?

    It’s probable this exact question has already been asked and discussed – maybe even by me – on earlier pages, but I’m too lazy to check.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #264268
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Welcome, Lee Bee. Always glad to have more people on the pro-Hattie Holly team!

    Not going to offer counterpoints for all of your opinions I don’t share, but just to choose one: Bringing Kochanski back as a main character but having her mainly fill a passive, mission control type role would be really bad. Arguably more sexist than just not having her there at all.

    in reply to: Its Always Cold Outside On Red Dwarf #264267
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The Book of Resurrection: Chapter Two: Echoes from the Future

    Yeah, I’ve never seen IASIP, so as far as I know it’s 90% Danny DeVito offering people an egg in this trying time, and 10% playing both sides in order to always come out on top.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263976
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Spare Head 1 has the virus.

    OK, that’s enough work for one day.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263902
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART THIRTY-EIGHT

    Dave Lister was born with 1 appendix. He gets 1 removed at an indeterminate point before he joined Red Dwarf, and he gets 1 removed roughly 3 million years later by the entity known as Legion. How many appendices does he have left?

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #263861
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    When Lister changes the past, he, the, Cat, and Kryten disappear (because without Lister on RD, there would be no Cat Race and Kryten was never rescued).

    Well, Rimmer should have disappeared too, because, without Lister, Holly would have had no reason to activate him.
    And Holly should have had no memories of the Dwarfers, since they never existed in this timeline.
    Of course, had that happened, that would have meant the end of the series.

    It’s not exactly uncommon in time travel stories for people to successfully change their own pasts but still keep their original memories, at least temporarily. So that’s what happens, which is why Holly chooses to activate Rimmer at this moment (as well as assume her Hilly/Hayridge form, presumably).

    Kryten says at the end of the Inquisitor that the timeline is sorting itself out. It’s not intentional at all, but it can be headcanon’d that there is a period of time where events are in flux and memories don’t alter. We don’t see how long it is until the timeline is restored at the end of the Inquisitor, so it could be the same amount of time it takes Rimmer to fuck everything up at the end of Timeslides.

    Oh wait, this doesn’t work at all. Fuck.

    It actually feels fine to me that these 2 episodes don’t portray consistent visions of using time travel to change history, because they use very different methods. The Inquisitor has admin rights over time – he can rewrite the code from the ground up. While in Timeslides the Dwarfers are essentially running the program as normal users, just with access to a few cheat codes.

    That doesn’t necessarily explain inconsistencies with other uses of time travel in the show like Out of Time, Tikka to Ride and Twentica, but oh well.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263646
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    ONLY THE NICE…

    Red Dwarf finds itself infested with a chameleonic mistletoe that socially compels many a crewmember into quite the awkward situation. With every other major character stuck in permanent smooch thanks to their overriding impulse to respect tradition, it’s up to Kill Crazy to save Christmas.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263642
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    THE LAST SLEIGH

    Santa Kryten discovers that he is now obsolete, and a replacement robot Santa Claus is on its way to kill him. To commiserate, he is determined to make his final outing in his space sleigh – Blue Elf – the best Christmas yet.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263625
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    THE SKUTTER CHRISTMAS CAROL

    Adaptation of the classic Charles Dickens novella ‘A Christmas Carol’ in which most roles are played by Skutters, with only a few key roles played by non-Skutters.

    Chris Barrie as Arnold Rimmer as Ebenezer Scrooge
    Craig Charles as David Lister as Fred
    Chloë Annett as Kristine Kochanski as Clara
    Jane Horrocks as Nirvanah Crane as Belle
    Danny John-Jules as The Cat as The Ghost of Christmas Past
    Robert Llewellyn as Kryten as The Ghost of Christmas Present
    David Ross as Talkie Toaster as The Toast of Christmas Future

    Among the Skutter roles, Bob the Skutter fought hard to play the role of Bob Cratchit (“my name is literally Bob already, come on!”), but was not deemed a good enough actor and was cast as an extra instead.

    in reply to: 92 Degrees? #263547
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    92 degrees? Well that’s not quite right.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263525
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    D.A.T.

    The Cat teams up with Cardi B to write and perform a song about Crit Cop’s hypothetical wife.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263524
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    THIS IS MY FOAM, LIGHT BEER!

    With an eye on his health, Lister switches to drinking a variant of Leopard Lager which is lower in fat, but is disappointed by its head to body ratio.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263523
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    THIS IS MY GNOME, RIGHT HERE!

    Rimmer persuades everyone to contribute personalised ornaments to the Red Dwarf Botanical Garden, but they can’t seem to find the one placed by Kryten. Exasperated, Kryten points out a remade Archie, placed on its end and wearing a hat and beard.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263522
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    THIS IS MY COMB, RIGHT HERE!

    After another accidental M-Corp upgrade, all of The Cat’s hair products become invisible.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263521
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    THIS IS MY TOME, RIGHT HERE!

    Lister spends half an hour reciting The Book of Smeg to the rest of the crew.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263520
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    THIS IS MY DOME, RIGHT HERE!

    Due to urgent repairs being needed in the Observation Dome, Kryten tells Rimmer he’ll have to find a different area of Red Dwarf with a hemispherical transparent roof to sulk in. He doesn’t take the news well.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263496
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    He either flicks the 4 switches different numbers of times, or leaves a noticeable gap between each flick. Then when he enters The Tank (for the first way) he notes whether the lights are currently on, and asks the prisoners how many times the lights came on/turned off before he arrived, or (for the second way) asks them how long ago it was that the light came on.

    I’m sure they’d be happy to oblige. Well, Rimmer probably would.

    Backup plan if the prisoners can’t be trusted to talk and tell the truth:

    1. Leave switch #1 alone.
    2. Flick switches #2 and #3.
    3. Wait several minutes.
    4. Flick switch #2 off, and switch #4 on.
    5. Immediately go into The Tank, and feel one of the lightbulbs.

    If the lights are off and the bulb is cold, #1 is the light switch.
    If the lights are off and the bulb is warm, #2 is the light switch.
    If the lights are on and the bulb is warm, #3 is the light switch.
    If the lights are on and the bulb is cold, #4 is the light switch.

    But if the prisoners won’t cooperate, and they can’t be heard making any noise from the switch room in reaction to the light coming on, and either the bulbs are inaccessible or they get hot too quickly or they don’t warm up when turned on at all, then I’m out of solutions.

    Ackerman can just redundantly use 3 extra switches every time, or contact one of Red Dwarf’s many electricians, or find someone smarter than me to solve this problem, or just not resort to cruel and childish light switch based punishments, jeez.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #263494
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Kryten and Cat’s hats are the same colour, and Lister and Rimmer’s hats are different colours.

    But the GELF is right to be amazed.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #263391
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yeah, I’d quite happily take the original credits over the guitar & clips version.

    No idea how they’d have done it for VI and VII, though.

    They’d redo the entire thing with Starbug as the object instead of Red Dwarf. The theme song would be mostly the same arrangement as Series 1-2, except it would be performed on the kazoo.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #263349
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Parallel Universe has some decent bits later on too, but it’s hard to top the opening. Really, instead of it ending with the cliffhanger about Lister being pregnant, it should have ended with the reveal that the trip to the gender-flipped universe was all a dream, but Tongue Tied was real.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #263299
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    ME: “Look, don’t be afraid. I’m going to make you the king of Dwarf fandom. All you’ve got to do is listen very, very carefully.”

    2019 ME: (nods)

    ME: “Right, this is the plan. You’re going to be the first on Ganymede & Titan to mention a certain linguistic ambiguity.”

    OTHER USER: “Ganymede and Titan?”

    ME: “No, &! You know, as an ampersand! The one in the title of the site we’re currently on! Will you shut up? I’m trying to talk to the man!”

    ME (cont.): “Are you listening? There’s a bit in Red Dwarf where Lister describes someone as a ‘natural yoghurt eater’…”

    OTHER USER: “Like when they’re trying to find Kochanski in Stasis Leak?”

    ME: “Look, do you mind, curtis? This is a private conversation. Go back to coming up with Ideas for an episode.”

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #263274
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I believe we’ve experienced this moment in time before sir.
    Either I have ESP or this very conversation has been had on here not that long ago.
    I’m with you though, I thought he meant people with a pre-disposition to eating yoghurt.

    You know, I did have a feeling of deja vu when I was writing it. A use of G&T’s handy new forum search feature reveals that it was brought up in July 2019 in the ‘Misheard lines’ thread by prolific poster curtis, and some discussion ensued, including from you. So there you go.

    It fits better here though, because it wasn’t a misheard line, it was a misunderstood line!

    At least it wasn’t already mentioned in this exact thread. That would have been embarrassing.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #263260
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Related to the above and the general topic: I don’t know how long it was before I realised that a “natural yoghurt eater” is someone who eats natural yoghurt specifically, not someone with a predisposition for eating yoghurt in general.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #263259
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Why do women always leave me for total smegheads? Why do they dump me for men who wear turtleneck sweaters and smoke a tobacco pipe? I mean, Yeo Valley Natural Organic Yoghurt eaters! Reliable, sensible, dependable, and lots of other words that end in “-ible.” He’s obsessed with house prices, and spends half his life in antique fairs looking for bargains and drinking Cinzano Bianco. It’s never Leopard Lager, is it, it’s always Cinzano Bianco! “What do you want on your Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut, darling?” “Oh, I’ll have some Cinzano Bianco, please!” Smeg!

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #263148
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Why did a British TV series have to plan to use a male Little Person rather than the existing child actress?

    Why did they simulate child abuse for TV when they could have just filmed the actors doing child abuse for real?

    No idea, must just be one of the great mysteries of TV production.

    in reply to: How Red Dwarf Broke All The Rules #263113
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Not a bad article, and always nice to get some fresh soundbites from Doug. It’s not especially long or in-depth (like it says when TORDFC was founded and mentions the starting of a rudimentary magazine and website, but doesn’t go into any detail whatsoever about who founded it, how they decided to found it, what the early days were like etc.), but then again it is just Part 1. Members will be able to find out whether it goes all The First Three Million Years in the next part.

    Weird that the title suggests the fandom is the focus, but most of the fandom related stuff here is just about how Rob and Doug kept the fandom engaged with novels and Smeg Ups and the like, rather than how the fandom engaged with the show. Certainly no hint of how Dwarf fandom “broke the rules” yet.

    Given how the remaining parts are going behind a paywall, maybe we should answer the question of how Red Dwarf fandom broke the rules ourselves? After all, we are that fandom! One of us must know.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #263081
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I was quite amused when I first watched Blake’s 7, and Zen asks Blake what speed to make the Liberator go, and he basically just goes “uh… standard? I guess, idk” and not only does Zen understand this as a colloquial instruction, but every character quotes speed as multiples of “Standard” for the whole rest of the show, and it never actually gets defined.

    I kind of respect that Nation, Boucher et al knew that making spaceship speeds actually quantifiable (even if only vaguely and/or relative to light speed) would inevitably lead to fans obsessing over whether every journey makes sense, so they just didn’t try.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #263079
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    They should make a big-budget sci-fi movie about this phenomenon. But what to call it?

    The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #263076
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Funny how casually Todhunter asks Lister whether he’s travelled interstellar like it’s something everyone does. Because if interstellar travel is slow enough that going into suspended animation is a normal/required part of it, then presumably it takes decades or centuries. That’s potentially a lot of loved ones who’ll die of old age before you get back home.

    Then again, maybe interstellar space travel actually just takes months or single digit years, and passengers go into stasis anyway to alleviate the boredom, or because it’s cheaper. There’s room for head canon.

    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yes, (Prime) Minister is a bit of a grey area given it also has production continuity, but I’m sure BtE wouldn’t be the thing that disqualifies Red Dwarf, because “Back to Earth” is clearly a subtitle for that specific series only, not a new name for the whole show.

    I’m now trying to think of examples of the reverse situation, where a sitcom is continued with the same name and is the same programme in theory, but in practice is more like a sequel show. The only one that springs to mind right away is Scrubs, but there must be others.

    Oh wait, duh, the most obvious example – Blackadder. Every series is a sequel show!

    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Still Open All Hours had its last episode in 2019, so it would qualify, except no, because Still Open All Hours is a sequel series to Open All Hours, not a continuation of the same series. I know that’s a technicality and it is a continuation in spirit, but nevertheless.

    I wonder if continuous production actually is a requirement for this record. Because even though LOTSW had a couple of years in which there were no new episodes, it was never actually cancelled in that time, was it? Unlike Red Dwarf or Birds of a Feather.

    in reply to: Your Popular Red Dwarf Opinions #262960
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I like the Dave era of Red Dwarf a lot and prefer it hugely to the solo Doug BBC era, but I don’t like it as much as the Rob & Doug BBC era.

    in reply to: Let’s Talk About Red Dwarf XII: The Game #262743
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    They’re just delisting it temporarily so they can get more attention when they do the big Krysis update. I can feel it.

    in reply to: Life Imitating Red Dwarf #262742
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    You know that scene in Balance of Power where Lister is drinking alone and in the dark, sadly reminiscing about the good times he had with his friends, friends he can no longer see again due to circumstances beyond his control?

    Well nothing like that has happened to me, but I did once steal a wig off the corpse of my doppelganger and kill a knight that had escaped from a video game into the real world. The 2 events were unrelated, but still.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #262697
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Pete shouldn’t be counted as separate episodes in the next big poll. Nobody watches it that way* and all it does is allow Part One to undeservedly rise to the rank of second worst episode.

    * at all.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #262538
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Oh no, a stasis leak in the “Star Trek Crap” G&T forum thread.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #262492
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Maybe DivaDroid’s Hudzen upgrade scheme only triggers if the mechanoid’s current residence verifiably has actual living people in it.

    Krytens are probably programmed to shut themselves down if they no longer have anyone to serve (thereby ending their contract), and our Kryten only didn’t because he deluded himself into thinking his crewmates were still alive, and Butler broke his programming with the power of self-satisfaction.

    in reply to: Cassandra is not shit #262364
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The best aspect of Cassandra is that Cassandra herself seems to be aware that she’s in Red Dwarf Series VIII and reacts with appropriate exasperation.

    in reply to: Cassandra is not shit #262334
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    In relative, Series VIII terms, Cassandra is pretty decent. In more absolute, Red Dwarf terms, well… Kryten may have figured it out, but I’m still struggling.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #262286
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Hey, there’s no reason why the blood and urine of a fictional alien species can’t coincidentally be a similar colour. Stop imposing your human standards onto Vulcans, quinn.

    Having said that, I don’t know Star Trek, so the canon colour of Vulcan urine might have been confirmed 7 times by now. There was probably a B plot in late era Voyager where Tuvok got a UTI.

    Maybe Vulcan urine is blue, so Spock’s urine would be green. Logical.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #262284
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    “Do you mean they had a war over whether my cock was massive or dirty?”

    “Yeah. Most of them were killed fighting about that. It’s daft really, innit?”

    “You’re not kidding. It’s actually just weirdly shaped.”

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #262270
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    This is the biggest schism the Red Dwarf fandom has faced since Give & Take made it ambiguous whether Asclepius was trying to kill Lister or save him.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #262249
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Remember Kryten says Rimmer “didn’t have any in-and-out bits, hardly at all.” So yeah, he means Kochanski’s shape rather than something ruder.

    No, this is him saying that Rimmer had a small willy.

    You wouldn’t say “in and out bits” just to describe a person’s overall shape, especially in the context of a written joke in a sitcom about the difference between a woman’s body and a man’s. But I am charmed by the innocence of thinking Kryten was talking about hips or something.

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #262234
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    McCoy won a best Doctor poll once.

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #262202
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Here’s the mentioned ‘favourite Doctor’ poll:

    https://www.radiotimes.com/news/tv/2020-09-20/david-tennant-best-doctor-who/

    Tennant and Whitaker both got 21%, so he only inched ahead.

    Not surprising that Whitaker ranked so highly. Recency bias is in play, but also people tend to criticise the writing of the Chibnall era more than the lead actor. I’ve seen plenty who hate the former but really like the latter anyway.

    It’s also worth noting that when the Tennant and Smith eras were underway, they probably both got #1 from similar polls easily (I’m too lazy to search for those polls right now of course), so you can potentially take Jodie only being #2 as a very mild backlash of sorts.

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #261995
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    While we’re on the subject of The Web Planet… for a long time that serial had a reputation of being unambiguously shit. Unrealistic giant moth costumes, overdone dialogue, Vaseline on the lens etc. But over time classic Who fandom has built up much more fondness for its weird approach, particularly after the Twitch Classic Who marathon accidentally didn’t play it when it was supposed to, and everyone was chanting “WE WANT ZARBI” in the chat.

    Recency animus in action, for the actual Animus.

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #261994
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Haha, no way. I had no idea of the coincidental Doctor Who connection to the word “animus”, so you noticing it and pointing it out was an excellent reply. All good.

    Though now you’ve said that my last post does read more sarcastic than I intended, but it was just exaggeration.

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #261992
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I can’t believe I accidentally named ‘having a stronger negative reaction to something’ after the villain in a Doctor Who story which is 100% perfect and beloved by fans. Embarrassing.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #261991
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    UKTV/GNP should just make their own off-Brand Red Dwarf toy construction sets.

    Smego

    OK, that name’s not exactly inspired, but it’s a decent starting point.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #261983
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Remember when there was a Red Dwarf level in Lego Dimensions, but instead of getting its own dedicated story or chracters, it was just a small secret area buried in a Fantastic Beasts story pack?

    So not only playing second fiddle to a fantasy series written by a transphobe, but playing second fiddle to a sub-par spin-off of a fantasy series written by a transphobe. The ultimate insult.

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #261982
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Do you think that would have happened with Star Wars and Red Dwarf if it hadn’t been for the long hiatus between outing?

    Would we be scrutinising and criticising Dave era Dwarf as much if these shows had come in 2000?

    I think that definitely plays a part, but it’s not a requirement. Look at Doctor Who. There’s been a new series every year or 2 since 2005, but people are as discerning about new episodes as that as ever. I’d even say that people were way less harsh about Series 1 after the 16 year hiatus, but I probably just wasn’t tuned into the super fan circles at that time.

    Doctor Who is a classic example of how it goes both ways too. You get a lot of hate – recency… animus? – but Jodie Whitaker still got voted the 2nd best Doctor anyway.

    Though yes, I am aware that you can’t really quantify recency bias anecdotally like this, because there are also genuine fluctuations in quality happening alongside it, and fully separating the two would require you to objectively measure the quality of art, which you can’t. It’s interesting to ponder anyway.

    As someone who posted lengths of angry forum text about The Phantom Menace in 1999, I can state that this had nothing to do with recency bias and everything to do with the fact that it’s a fucking terrible movie.

    Don’t worry Pete, if I ever reference people changing their minds about movies or TV shows over time, I’m not talking about you. ;-)

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #261973
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Recency bias is interesting, because it can go both ways. People will often ruthlessly scrutinise something as it first comes out – especially if they’re obsessive followers of whatever series or genre it’s in – but over time will tend to chill out about it, and occasionally even have nostalgia for it.

    Like for every person who loved The Phantom Menace when it came out and through rewatching and hindsight now thinks it’s shit, there’s probably another person who was posting lengths of angry forum text in release week and now thinks it was more or less an OK movie.

    in reply to: people who “react” to RD on Youtube #261922
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Oh yes, I think I recommended Cyborcat on here once before. Her Cat videos go over every outfit he wears as well as all his notable character beats in every episode. That’s G&T level dedication right there.

    in reply to: The “Programme Guide” books #261917
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Almost certain they are only on the Smeg Ups/Outs DVDs. They would make absolutely no sense out of context.

    Yeah, I expected so, but given how little was missed off of those DVD sets, it wouldn’t have surprised me if they were snuck in there as an easter egg for Series VI or Bodysnatcher!

    in reply to: The “Programme Guide” books #261894
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yes! Just The Smegs is £5.99 new on HMV and Amazon right now, so it’s definitely good value. Smeg Ups and Smeg Outs are also available from iTunes individually, but you don’t get the broadcast version of Smeg Ups with those.

    Missed opportunity that Smeg Ups and Smeg Outs weren’t included on the Series 1-VIII Blu ray set, as it’s otherwise so comprehensive. Am I right in thinking the Kryten links weren’t released on their own elsewhere either, or did they turn up in one of the other DVD sets?

    It’s interesting how the Smeg Ups VHS was such a big thing for the 90s Dwarf fandom. My first exposure was when it was shown on Dave (probably the broadcast version?) in the pre-Back to Earth era, and I loved it but I didn’t quite twig it had been around for so long.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #261893
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    RED DWARF MMCMXCIX

    After making exactly 2,987 more series of Red Dwarf in order to get to “Series MMM”, fans are still divided over Doug Naylor’s controversial decision to count one-off special The Promised Land as a numbered series.

    in reply to: Bootleg Merch #261802
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Also, I spotted someone selling stickers of a meme that Kris Carter of this parish made. Daisy Bryar is a fucking thief.

    This has made me think about what a copyright minefield memes are.

    Obviously “DaisyBryar” deserves no profits for just stealing it, and legally (though not necessarily fairly) I expect both Kris and the Twitter user who paired the two images to create the original template for the ‘Woman Yelling At Cat’ meme also can’t sell them because they used the source images without permission. But who would they even ask for permission from?

    In this specific example, you’ve got a screen grab of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as the source image on the left, a photo taken by a Tumblr user as the source image on the right, and shots from Red Dwarf edited onto both sides. Trying to organise completely above board official merch of this meme would be like the negotiations to get the 60s Batman series released on DVD.

    So I can see why people end up feeling like memes are basically the wild west and they can do what they want with them, even though it’s still really shitty.

    in reply to: Bootleg Merch #261773
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    No firsthand experience with knockoff merch, but this did spur me to search “Red Dwarf” on Redbubble, and it is a veritable treasure trove.

    https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Funny-by-BigTime/17849929.IJ6L0

    in reply to: Worst episodes of series 3-5? #261639
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yeah, but it’s blatantly Demons & Angels. No need to be coy.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #261593
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    In Backwards, how much are the denizens of the backwards world aware of the nature of their universe? Are they actually perceiving the Dwarfers as being the backwards ones? Is free will even possible if time runs backwards? Is free will in general just an illusion?

    in reply to: Interchangeable Episode Titles #261586
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Officer Rimmer DNA

    Back to Earth Better Than Life

    The Last Day Krysis

    M-Corp Marooned

    in reply to: Interchangeable Episode Titles #261562
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Dennis the Doughnut Boy Captain Frank Hollister

    Yvonne McGruder Sandra

    My annoyance at the thread being derailed My appreciation of everyone’s inventiveness and enjoyment

    in reply to: Interchangeable Episode Titles #261488
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The Inquisitor Only The Good..

    in reply to: Interchangeable Episode Titles #261487
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Trojan Officer Rimmer

    in reply to: Interchangeable Episode Titles #261472
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Krytie TV Beyond A Joke

    Psirens Me²

    Also, I don’t think I could easily pick an episode in particular it’d be best suited for, but there are several episodes where the Dwarfers actually go to Earth, and Back to Earth isn’t one of them.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #261460
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    All of the Kryten costumes are fine.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #261406
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    OK, that’s a bit disappointing from Chris, but not as bad I was worried it might be. Thanks everyone.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #261384
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    WAIT, WHO SAID WHAT NOW?

    No episode pitch, I’m just genuinely concerned about this combination of Chris Barrie and bad pandemic advice being a reference, in this thread of all places.

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #261383
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Well, that opinion was completely delusional and offensive, but it did definitely fit the remit of being unpopular, so fair play I guess.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #261332
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The twist is it was actually Craig Bierko that posted that, not Charles.

    OUT OF TOPIC

    Armed agents are sent to the residences of multiple G&T users to ensure that the sanctity of the “Idea for an episode.” forum thread is respected.

    in reply to: Who has has a Red Dwarf dream? #261293
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    When I was 11 or 12, I remember hearing the news that Rimmer was being “killed off” in Red Dwarf and I was devastated.

    Wow, news about “The End” sure did spread fast.

    in reply to: Who has has a Red Dwarf dream? #261274
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The VIII episode was absolutely dire, almost unwatchable shite with next to no plot, just the cast sat around talking utter nonsense and making the odd really broad joke.

    So it was faithful to the quality and style of Series VIII, but with a better story?

    in reply to: Your Unpopular Red Dwarf Opinions #261205
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The negative/mixed reaction to that scene is I think more about it making you go “Wait, is this offensive/about to get offensive?” rather than making you go “Hey, this is offensive!”.

    The “sex change” terminology and the false equivalency drawn between gaining the ability to give birth and “becoming a woman” are both really old fashioned, surface-level-understanding-of-biology things to say, the kind of things that encompass a TERF’s entire view of gender. So it might well put you on edge that the episode is about to get overtly transphobic, even though it ultimately doesn’t. (Particularly if you remember the “Kryten has no penis, therefore is a woman” nonsesne from Series VIII.)

    Also, every time someone brings up this scene I’m reminded how weird it is for Kryten to suggest that Cat needs to become a woman to give birth when Lister has already given birth as a man in canon.

    in reply to: What would you like to see in a new novel? #261184
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I want a Red Dwarf novel set entirely in the Mr. Rat universe.

    in reply to: What would you like to see in a new novel? #261177
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I’d like to see Snacky brought into focus in the same way Talkie Toaster was in Better Than Life.

    Then I’d like to see them find Kochanski, and for her and Snacky to fuse into one gestalt entity called Kosnackski.

    #Justice4Snacky #BringBackSnacky #HeyDougWhereTheFuckIsSnacky

    in reply to: The style of the forum #261165
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Wow, I wasn’t expecting a new search option to be added that quickly! Nice. <3

    in reply to: The style of the forum #261148
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    So many times I’ve visited a forum just out of a general interest in a topic, and all I want to do is have a look at the most recent discussions overall, but the only option is to check every thread category one by one, and I decide I can’t be bothered. This way is better.

    You could argue that you can provide for both needs by having an ‘All’ option in addition to the multiple sections, but it’s still dubious whether it’s wanted enough to be worth the development effort and the potential extra clicks (given that G&T is a forum only secondarily). I’m not even sure what the sections for G&T would be. “Red Dwarf” and “Not Red Dwarf” probably. Plus “Archive”, unless someone wants to volunteer to manually categorise nearly 3,500 threads.

    Ganymede & Titan is the only forum I actually post to, and that’s because… well, it’s because it’s blatantly the most active Red Dwarf forum and it’s both run by and frequented by lots of cool people. But also, because it’s simple and intuitive to use. Lots of forums have a bit more of an intimdidating, secret society vibe about them (though admittedly that is often due to the attitude of established users more than the web design).

    Having said that, I wouldn’t say no to some sorting and/or filtering options on the forum page.

    in reply to: The Best Bits of VIII #261111
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Rimmer returning from the mirror universe in Only The Good… was genuinely pretty well done drama for me. The ship being completely on fire, the antidote formula being destroyed, Rimmer being approached by Death. It all worked to evoke that feeling of “oh, shit just got serious!” which is pretty rare in the show.

    The drama was undermined by the goofs of the “Only the good die young!” groin kick (which I did kind of enjoy, not gonna lie) and “The Smeg It Is”, which means it pales in comparison to Out of Time, but still.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #261095
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    In the “See you in ten minutes?” scene, why does Lister keep zapping Hollister with the time wand? Why does he even do it once?

    Even when first watching Pete Part 2 as a teenager who was completely uncritical about Red Dwarf, this completely baffled me.

    in reply to: The Best Bits of VIII #261090
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I feel bad, because I know there were good gags in series VIII, but if you ask me to recall series VIII moments, the bad stuff just all comes flooding in and makes it difficult to remember the good.

    I liked most of Kill Crazy’s lines (not the ones where he’s being a pervert in Krytie TV).

    I liked Cassandra’s facial expression as Lister’s accidentally setting off the chain reaction that kills her. Just that look of tired contempt.

    I liked all of the principal cast having to casually repeat the name of the chameleonic microbe antidote one after another in that deleted scene, specifically because it was deleted.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf VIII is flawed #261042
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The Blue Midget dance probably wouldn’t even crack my top ten worst parts of the episode it’s in, let alone the whole series. The music is actually kind of catchy, honestly.

    Obviously it shouldn’t have happened, but I’ve never got why it stood out as being particularly bad.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #260911
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    ONLY THE GOOD DOUGHNUTS…

    Red Dwarf picks up an escape pod from the SS Hermes, which was destroyed by highly destructive microbes. The pod’s sole occupant, Talia Garrett, seems to know Captain Hollister.

    “… Dennis? The doughnut boy?!”

    Hollister, looking suddenly very pale, declares Garrett delusional and orders her to be thrown in The Tank.

    Flashback to 3 million years ago. Dennis Krytimmer is a simple doughnut deliveryperson on the Hermes – the flagship of the Neptune Mining Conglomerate. An orphan who worked tirelessly his whole life just to get any paying gig on an intergalactic vessel, Dennis dreams of becoming the Captain of his own ship.

    One day, Dennis is called upon to deliver doughnuts to the Captain’s table. Finally, the opportunity to plead his case to the upper brass, and maybe get the opportunity to become an officer! He does the delivery, and Captain Garrett personally calls over Dennis to compliment him on the spread of the icing and the consistency of the jam. Seizing his chance, Dennis enthuses about his ambitions to her.

    “I’ve wanted to be an officer as long as I can remember, m’am! I’d do anything to achieve that dream!”

    The Captain exchanges a few glances with her officers.

    “Anything, you say?”

    It’s not long before Dennis is being trained in corporate espionage, and given a new cover identity: Frank Hollister. He is to be sent in as a low level officer recruit for competing outfit, the Jupiter Mining Corporation, aboard the ship that was the most desperate for personnel – the Red Dwarf.

    As time passes Dennis settles into his new life as Hollister on Red Dwarf, regularly using his new spy skills to acquire any confidential company info that the NMC might use for competitive advantage and sending it back to the Hermes, as well as using a lot of the juicier info to schmooze his way up the ranks.

    Eventually Hollister is Captain of the whole ship, and Dennis has been achieving his mission of undermining the JMC for many years, but then he receives a new directive from Garrett: to unleash a bio-weapon on Red Dwarf when it’s about to land back on Earth, thus destroying the ship, causing a devastating crash on the Earth’s surface, and ultimately destroying the JMC, so that the NMC can become a true monopoly.

    Having become very attached to his new life and his new crew, Hollister does not deploy the chameleonic microbes that were sent to him, and even does multiple trips to and from Earth without incident.

    All is fine until one day Hollister is called to the Drive Room, by Officer Frank Todhunter.

    Hollister arrives, and Todhunter is standing there, holding the chameleonic microbe solution, and pointing a gun straight at him.

    “So you did get your orders after all… Dennis. What’s the matter? Lost your nerve? Enjoying playing the boss? It’s a good thing they sent me to keep an eye on you. A stupid doughnut boy was never going to have the courage to do what has to be done.”

    Todhunter moves to pour the microbe solution into the engine, but Hollister uses his momentary distraction to pull his own gun and shoot him dead. The microbe solution bottle was still sealed in the end, but the shot Hollister fired had majorly damaged the drive plate after going through Todhunter.

    Not wanting to risk the engineers finding out what happened, Hollister calls down some low-level sycophantic technician to repair the drive plate, while he disposes of the body.

    Back in the present, Talia has been put in the same cell as parallel-Kochanski, whom she immediately spills the beans to. She tells her that Hollister is actually Dennis the Doughnut Boy, that he designed the chameleonic microbes in order to destroy the Hermes, and that he murdered her good friend, Jerry Dotruthen, in cold blood. Word of this spreads quickly throughout the prison, and soon the rage from the prisoners against Hollister is so strong that they successfully organise a break-out, and manage to get the wardens and officers on board for a mutiny.

    Overpowered, Hollister is tied up in his office alone, while every other crewmember abandons ship and the microbes tear apart Red Dwarf. Frank shares one last conversation with Holly before systems start shutting down and all around him is in flames.

    Death approaches him, but Hollister kicks Death right in the groin.

    “Only the good donuts fry!” he says, before burning to death off-screen.

    THE END?

    YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf VIII is flawed #260893
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The issue with “Dennis the doughnut boy” is that it’s a huge reveal that changes our understanding of the character of Hollister, but it’s also just a quick throwaway gag, and a pretty cheap one at that.

    It’s all costs and benefits, ultimately. If you’re paying the cost of a major reveal about Hollister that recontextualises all of his previous appearances, then you need an equally weighted benefit – either this doughnut boy thing is setting up a significant and good story for Hollister that actually acknowledges it or it’s one of the most side-splittingly funny lines ever. It’s neither.

    Also it doesn’t help that it doesn’t make much sense for Hollister to randomly confess this in a vlog. I guess we’re meant to assume that the vlog doesn’t actually exist and is purely a narrative device / in his mind.

    But of course it happens in the same story that has magical robots resurrecting people who died in ancient history and the main cast being put on trial in their dreams, so I guess it’s not too unbelievable.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf VIII is flawed #260831
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    If you can headcanon to fill in gaps, and canon can undo or contradict itself, can you also undo actual canon with headcanon?

    The answer: not under normal circumstances, but if you have a powerful enough head, anything is possible.

    in reply to: THE NEW RED DWARF FORUM #260224
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Considering all the spamming, I was surprised to find an actual Red Dwarf forum behind that link (quasi-endorsed by TOS, even) and not just an automatic ransomware download.

    At some point this extremely try-hard all-agression, no-detail attempt to promote a Red Dwarf forum on a competing (and much better) Red Dwarf forum might have been good for a laugh, but right now it’s just sad.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf VIII is flawed #260108
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Red Dwarf Series VIII fails on so many levels.

    in reply to: Aspect Ratios #260021
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    We need to just accept that “TV show” as a term is now broad enough to include programming that is not necesarily carried on a television signal or watched on a television set, just as films don’t need to be shot on film, video doesn’t need to be on a videotape, and comics aren’t necessarily funny.

    in reply to: Worst episodes of series 3-5? #260019
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I’m too lazy to think about this fresh. I’ll just look up my Pearl Poll submission and assume my opinion is broadly unchanged.

    So, the worst episode of Red Dwarf series 3-5 is… White Hole! Yeah, OK, why not. Still the 38th best episode of all time (not taking The Promised Land into account) so nothing to be ashamed of.

    Compare the actual Pearl Poll result, in which Camille is the worst episode of series 3-5, but at the higher position of 30th.

    And of course, anyone suggesting The Last Day – the no. 1 episode of the show as a whole – is just objectively wrong. Might as well suggest Back to Reality.

    in reply to: Aspect Ratios #259989
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Wow, I can understand cropping to widescreen for clips in a documentary to some extent, but doing this just for general repeats? Appalling.

    Folks pushed for so long just to get them to stop showing Marooned Remastered. Now it feels like a waste of effort, if they’re just going to do this to all BBC-era episodes anyway.

    It’s frustrating to argue against, because the demographic that will actively complain about this are mostly the ones who have the DVDs/Blu rays on their shelves so don’t exactly need to watch Dave, and the casual viewers will just assume that it always looked like shit.

    in reply to: Aspect Ratios #259979
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Ah, should have known to check there. So Universal only have the film for the parts that didn’t actually end up in the movie. Helpful.

    And the finished master is on Digital Betacam, but it didn’t even get a betamax release? What a waste.

    in reply to: Aspect Ratios #259974
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yeah, I don’t know where to get concrete information about the archive situation for the TV movie, unfortunately. All I know, I learned from a Blu-ray Dot Com forum thread about the announcement and then release of the Blu-ray version.

    The upshot was that folks were not happy that the Blu-ray was just an HD upconversion, and there was much speculation about whether it was lack of the original film reels that was preventing a “true” HD release or just the lack of a Star Trek: The Next Generation-sized budget.

    in reply to: Aspect Ratios #259969
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yeah, introducing the audience to The Doctor, The Master, the Daleks, the TARDIS and regeneration in the first ten minutes probably wasn’t the best idea. Plus the narration by a different Doctor than the one that’s on screen, which is pretty confusing.

    I have a lot of respect for how determined Segal was to get the TV movie made, and how he stuck firm on certain things like casting Paul McGann, keeping it an explicit continuation etc., even if the end result was a mess and he tried flying before he could walk with regards to reinventing The Doctor’s family history. Philip Segal is like the non-dickhead version of Ian Levine.

    And clearly people still have a lot of fondness for the TV movie, if Big Finish are getting Eric Roberts back for ‘Masterful’.

    Swinging back to the actual topic, the TV movie is in 4:3. Even though it was shot on film in the mid 90s, obviously it was edited on video for TV screens of the time. I guess theoretically a wide-screen version could be made, if the original masters (lower case m) still exist and they want to pay for the film to be re-edited from scratch and for visual effects to be recreated.

    Then again, that could lead to a Buffy effect where you ruin the composition of shots and see crew members and filming equipment at the edges of the screen. Maybe they could compromise and do a true HD version, but still in 4:3.

    in reply to: Aspect Ratios #259945
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I’d wager that Doctor Who had a relatively high budget in 2005, for a BBC drama series. The budget may have gone up a bit during the RTD era due to its massive success, but I definitely recall Moffat saying that the budget was being squeezed and shrunk throughout his tenure. Blame the Tories for that one.

    Ultimately “how good does the show look” and “how high is the show’s budget” are not directly proportional, because it depends on how the budget is allocated and how the costs of those visuals change over time. It’s plain to see that Doctor Who has a lower budget now than in 2005, because back then they were producing 14 episodes every year, and now they’re producing 11 episodes every 18 months. Making more episodes is far more expensive than making fewer episodes but prettier.

    Also, Series 1 looks good to me! Just make sure you watch it in crisp 576/25i SD, as God intended. Not any of this newfangled, slowed down upconverted HD nonsense.

    in reply to: Idea for an episode. #259847
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    SITEDOWN

    After failing to access the extremely popular and beloved fansite Ganymede & Titan, Lister tries to visit Planet Smeg instead, but finds that he does not have permission to access the resource. He then tells the rest of the crew that the website was up, but that sadly a skutter escaped from G.A.G. and killed Katerina. Nobody doubts the truth of this, or wonders why Lister is currently wearing a skutter costume and holding a gun with “Kill Katerina (Pretend)” written on it.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #259843
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    The reason they immediately cut away after Lister says that an escaped AR knight killed Rimmer is because what followed was a full hour of confusion and arguing, where Kryten keeps coming up with reasons that it makes no sense but Lister just keeps digging his heels in, and Kryten will occasionally demand that “Ace” gives his opinion and he’ll just sort of uneasily and half-heartedly agree with Lister.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #259841
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    A knight escaping from the AR machine isn’t even less believable than the existence of the cat race.

    The part of Lister’s lie that is so incredible isn’t the knight escaping from AR (maybe it totally is possible and Kryten knows this, but it just didn’t happen on this occasion), but the knight being able to kill Rimmer. Unless this simulation of a medieval knight was carrying around an EMP grenade, he isn’t going to harm a being of pure light by running at him with a lance or whatever.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #259823
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    To be fair that might be the premise of Series 11 and 12 but we all know how I feel about that shit. Please refer to the Doctor’s “because it’s kind” speech at the end of Series 10 for what I think the show is really about. The Doctor started off as a mischievous old man who ran away from home because he was bored, but slowly turned into something closer to a hero archetype, although he’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. “I’m the Doctor and I save people.”

    The Doctor always saves people whenever she can, yes, but none of the Doctors saw themselves as a hero by profession. Just think of how many times he referred to himself as “a traveller” or “just passing through” etc. The character development you’re talking about is him choosing to prioritise saving people whenever the situation arises, not him making the search for heroic opportunities his life’s only goal. As has been said, The Doctor doesn’t need to look for trouble, it finds her.

    There were occasions where The Doctor would boast about taking personal responsibility for the security of Earth, like in The Christmas Invasion or The Eleventh Hour, but this never reflected in his actual MO. The closest the show ever got to being like that was in the Pertwee era when he stayed on Earth and worked for UNIT, but that’s because he was pretty much forced to.

    Anyway, maybe the Ace Rimmer/Doctor comparison is apt regardless. Despite the massive differences in motivation, like Ace in Stoke, The Doctor has no specific jurisdiction and no actual pending quests that need seeing to, so it would be equally dumb if she sought to pass on the mantle of “The Doctor” before she died, and it be so crucial that her successor leave in the TARDIS in under a week that the successor needs to participate in faked death hijinks.

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