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  • in reply to: Unanswered Questions #258288

    Why does Lister pronounce ‘hummus’ so weirdly?

    in reply to: Who has has a Red Dwarf dream? #258117

    Had a dream about the special last night. Despite only knowing the vaguest things about the plot, part of my brain must be thinking about it.

    The crew discovered that there was a whole colony of cats living in a part of the ship they’d not explored. For some reason, the cats decide to hold the main characters captive and use them as surrogate parents. At first, some weird food – a tablet and some horrible looking gloop – is fed to them, which it turns out contains the cat sperm. Then they are seduced by cat women who have sex with them – in one case, on a stage in front of hundreds of people – and who manage to provide the eggs in the process. The cats then debate whether to let the baby cats burst through their stomachs, Alien-style, or whether to give them c-sections and use them as permanent surrogates.

    At this point, my girlfriend suggests that she doesn’t think this is all real, as it seems far-fetched, and that she hopes it isn’t just a dream sequence.

    Obviously a lot of Can of Worms going on there.

    in reply to: How much of Red Dwarf consciously targets Americans? #257943

    The films thing is definitely ‘pop culture’ in general. Not to say that there haven’t been any successful British films, but there certainly weren’t many as namedroppeable as the ones listed in the late ’80s. Not sure about Hells Angels, but we certainly have those in the UK.

    It’s true that Rob and Doug obviously had a certain respect and love of American pop culture and used it a lot in Red Dwarf, and I’m sure, at least sometimes, that was partially done to suggest a more general multi-national/planet culture in the future.

    At the same time, there are a lot of very specifically British. references in there which I can imagine would be utterly baffling to Americans.

    in reply to: CBS Red Dwarf reboot rumour #257858

    There’s definitely a lot of truth to the fact that there’s a lot of writing in Red Dwarf that’s very much about ‘men’ in space. None of them are necessarily typically blokey – Lister is (relatively) sensitive given his laddish life and success with women, Rimmer is strange and repressed, and Cat doesn’t meet a female for more than a few minutes until series VII – but nevertheless there’s definitely a certain masculine frustration at play in a lot of the character stuff. Which isn’t to say it wouldn’t be able to pull off with women, but it would require a lot of extremely good writing to make it feel recognisable.

    I mean really there’s nothing good that could come from a female ‘reboot’ of the show. The last thing an all-female show needs is constant comparisons to an all-male show.

    in reply to: Lost Dwarf #257807

    In retrospect this would’ve contradicted Lister promising not to make fun of Rimmer for the last words as promised at the end of Me2


    in reply to: M-Corp on Wikipedia #257670

    Right, I’m well fucking pissed off now. I just got done do the entire page for Samsara and load a preview only for Wikimedia servers to crash. God fucking damnit, I didn’t save the fucking shit now I have to rewrite the whole damn thing, only makes me hate that episode even more.

    Agh, fucking hell! This always happens on the very odd occasion I don’t do select all -> copy before pressing submit.

    Good work on these, anyway!

    in reply to: SVC Television showreel 94-95 (Inc. Red Dwarf) #256995

    VI was the first series I taped from TV so I’ve seen in the most. When working backwards through the series afterwards it was kind of disappointing to find that the effects were never as good.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf theme reggae cover #256850

    Yeah, I can’t stand the hyperspace verses, totally at odds with the rest of the song and even the feel of the show, particularly the early years.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf theme reggae cover #256838

    Oh Christ he didn’t

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #256719

    The flashback in Blue confirms that he wore the puffy blue outfit back on Red Dwarf.

    It’s strange that VII started and ended with continuity heavy sequences and yet had some of the biggest continuity errors of the whole show. I suppose it can be waved away as ‘poorly remembered’ on Lister’s behalf.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #256713

    Hard-light Rimmer with Hattie’s Holly? Definitely non-canon.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #256687

    Then we’ll be known as ‘that shark-infested forum’ and no one will want to come here.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #256633

    I have never owned a games console.

    in reply to: Doctor Dwarf: The Books #256602

    It’s what all the ’80s teenagers were listening to.

    in reply to: Doctor Dwarf: The Books #256587

    She had a Brett Anderson poster on her wall in the last book I read, and she’s also hinted at a taste for anarcho punk in an earlier book. There does seem to be a bit of a “Ace is cool so she must like the music I like!” theme.

    in reply to: Would You Rather #256463

    Yeah, visual quality is nice when you have it, but it comes below plots, characters and jokes for me.

    Back ‘2’ Earth

    Specials frequently end up listed as part of the series either side of them, or as titles on their own. I doubt it’ll be listed as XIII unless the next full series is specifically called XIV.

    Also the new special, even if it’s feature-length, is still only 1 episode long. You can’t really call anything with just one installment a series, because it literally isn’t a series.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #256371

    I nominate this thread for the hall of shame.

    in reply to: Doctor Dwarf: The Books #256360

    Ace says smeg to herself in Kate Orman’s The Left-Handed Hummingbird. I don’t think it’s ever stated when exactly she was taken from Earth, although some of the novels have her taste in music including The Stone Roses, so she could have been a Red Dwarf fan and just be quoting it.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #256226

    When’s he getting his poo emoji titles back?

    in reply to: Top of the 2010s #256144

    Getting remixes and remasters mixed up is a capital offence where I come from, so I hope not.

    in reply to: Top of the 2010s #256139

    Beatles remasters if I had to cheat

    That’d be a double cheat, as they came out in 2009.

    in reply to: Top of the 2010s #256136

    As an old misfit from the 90s I think the Manic Street Preachers have had a third glorious decade with three differently themed albums depending on how much you wanna puff out your chest.

    I found the late ’00s ‘revisiting past eras’ approach a bit underwhelming (although Journal is a decent album in its own right), but the recent three albums have really reignited my love for them again. It’s not very often I feel I’ve lost one of my favourite bands only for them to jump back up in my estimation again.

    Great to see Paul Draper coming back strong too.

    So overdue, as well. Basically felt like the proper follow-up to Six, just 20 years later.

    in reply to: Chris Barrie has shut down his website #256076

    Oh totally, social media has its upsides, but it replacing non-social media websites is the worst thing that’s happened to the internet.

    in reply to: Top of the 2010s #256061

    since I keep a comprehensive reading record like some kind of Art Garfunkel

    Yes, my lists were created from a quick scour through my Goodreads, IMDB and Discogs collections. Sod actually remembering things.

    in reply to: Top of the 2010s #256057

    Some TV shows I’ve enjoyed:

    Red Dwarf
    Doctor Who
    Agents of SHIELD
    Stranger Things
    Orphan Black
    Inside No. 9
    The Expanse
    Years & Years
    Would I Lie to You?
    Alan Partridge Mid Morning Matters

    Some films I’ve enjoyed:

    2036 Origin Unknown
    Cold Skin
    The Endless
    The Void
    Crimson Peak
    A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence
    The One I Love
    Under the Skin
    The Borderlands
    Only Lovers Left Alive
    Upstream Colour
    Frances Ha
    Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
    Jeff, Who Lives at Home
    Super 8
    Kill List
    Beyond the Black Rainbow
    Troll Hunter
    Most of the Marvel ones

    Trying to condense my music list down from about 200 was hard:

    The Divine Comedy – Office Politics
    Desperate Journalist – In Search of the Miraculous
    Underworld – Drift Series 1
    Confluent Phase – Ad Astra
    Wolf Alice – Visions of a Life
    Max Richter – Three Worlds
    Paul Draper – Spooky Action
    Carbon Based Lifeforms – Derelicts
    2814 – Birth of a New Day
    HOLOVR – Trace Realm
    Archive – The False Foundation
    The Future Sound of London – Environments (vol 4, 5, 6 and 6.5)
    The Angling Loser – Arena Of Apprehension
    Susanne Sundfør – Ten Love Songs
    Chvrches – Every Open Eye
    Carly Rae Jepsen – E•MO•TION
    Tangerine Dream – Mala Kunia
    James – La Petite Mort
    Foxes – Glorious
    Manic Street Preachers – Futurology
    Autumn of Communion – 1 & 4
    Charli XCX – True Romance
    David Bowie – The Next Day
    Lorde – Pure Heroine
    Pure Bathing Culture – Moon Tides
    Karl Hyde – Edgeland
    Wire – Change Becomes Us
    Roddy Woomble – Listen To Keep
    Therapy? – A Brief Crack Of Light
    Jack Anderton – Vale
    Nicola Roberts – Cinderella’s Eyes
    A Winged Victory For The Sullen – A Winged Victory For The Sullen
    The Glimmer Room – A Diary Of Occurrences

    Some books I’ve enjoyed:

    Kate Atkinson – Started Early, Took My Dog; Life After Life; A God in Ruins
    James Goss – Doctor Who: City of Death; The Pirate Planet; The Krikkitmen
    A.L. Kennedy – Doctor Who: The Drosten’s Curse
    Alistair Reynolds – Doctor Who: Harvest of Time
    Peter Ackroyd – The History of England (vol. 1-5)
    Haruki Murakami – Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
    Tom Holt – Doughnut; When it’s a Jar; Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
    Bill Drummond – 100
    Hilary Mantel – Wolf Hall; Bring Up the Bodies
    Rachel Joyce – The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry
    Michelle Paver – Dark Matter
    Elisabeth Tova Bailey – The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating
    Emma Donoghue – Room
    Patrick Barkham – The Butterfly Isles

    G&T users I’ve enjoyed:

    None of you, you bunch of bastards.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #255921

    It works, though, because sentient cartoon hedgehogs have been an established part of the Dwarf universe for several years now.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #255849

    Confirmed: Clippy the Microsoft Paperclip to star in Red Dwarf 2020 special.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #255845

    I’d quite like to see Red Dwarf do a crossover with the Jawscvmcdia universe.

    in reply to: New Sonic Trailer #255841

    I would actually like to see a Red Dwarf/Sonic crossover at some point, who agrees with me?

    I agree, you would actually like to see a Red Dwarf/Sonic crossover at some point.

    in reply to: Zany IMDb "trivia" #255825

    Some of these are truly mind-boggling.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf is now on BritBox in the US #255755

    And The Husbands of River Song is quite important in tying up that character’s story.

    And introducing Nardole.

    Similarly, The Runaway Bride introduces Donna, which is very useful in understanding Partners in Crime.

    Doesn’t Last Christmas also help bridge Clara’s story between series 8 and 9?

    Throw in A Christmas Carol on merit alone and that only precludes only four Who Christmas specials, meaning only four of them are really inessential.

    in reply to: Aspect Ratios #255605

    Is this an attempt to make things look “more cinematic”, or “like a movie”, is it a genuine artistic thing, is it a marketing strategy for ultrawide monitors and televisions?

    The first feeding into the third (or vice-versa).

    in reply to: New Ed Bye Interview on Talking Bottom #255598

    I’d watch just about every new sitcom on in the UK for quite a few years, but moving to somewhere without a telly (and with slow internet) at the same time as introducing my girlfriend to all my favourite shows on DVD put a stop to that, and it’s extremely rare that I get into a new comedy these days. I’m really beginning to wonder if my comedy fandom has passed.

    in reply to: New Ed Bye Interview on Talking Bottom #255563

    A lot of people only seemed to remember the frying pans and knob gags in Bottom, happily ignoring all the wonderful dialogue, the surrealism, the genuine nuances in the tragic character of Richie.

    On the other hand, Terror and Finger do feel like the older public perception of the show. I find them almost unwatchable. Really nasty stuff.

    Series 1 and 2 are almost flawless, though.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #255492

    I always thought it was the opposite of “I’m hot” (ie I’m very attractive), although Ben’s suggestion makes far, far more sense.

    in reply to: hypothetically making the worst possible ep of RD #255433

    Red Dwarf Special: STAR KNOT

    As a result of a nearby Star Knot, the SS Enconium travels forwards through time and appears new Red Dwarf. The crew come on board, and Ziggy stumbles across some sexual magnetism virus, and applies it to himself when he sees Lister. Lister then takes him back to his quarters for a good bumming. Rimmer, Cat and Kryten stand outside the room listening to all sorts of comical groans, wails and squelching noises, all the time murmuring comments like “this is wrong, man,” “absolutely disgusting,” and “two men having it off with each other, what is wrong with them?!”

    Later, Kryten applies a new serum he’s been working on to make Rimmer intelligent; however, it goes wrong, and Rimmer is reduced to a gibbering vegetable (“Reduced?!” ~ Cat), portrayed by Chris Barrie shoving his tongue into his front lip and making grunting noises (“What a spacker!” ~ Cat). Lister comes into the room in a dressing gown, notices Rimmer and quips “Sounds like me when Ziggs hits my prostate!” Cat vomits.

    Suddenly, a Cat ark arrives through a wormhole and broadcasts an announcement to the ship: “Cloister the Stupid, we have discovered you are a false God. You are to answer for your crimes, or your ship and all its crew will be destroyed.” Cat starts to broadcast an emotional monologue, about how his people made a huge mistake in the name of religion, including references to paedophile Cat Priests, but fundamentally Lister is a good guy, citing several examples of him being decent, honourable, and a good friend to Cat – as part of a seven minute sequence of clips of old episodes – but is then interrupted by Kryten saying “Smeg this!” and firing Red Dwarf’s newly installed photon cannon and destroying the Cat arc (“Nice shot, play-doh head!” ~ Cat.)

    Kryten realises they need to work their way back to the Star Knot to utilise its time-bending properties and restore Rimmer to his pre-serum self (“But why? Retards are funny!” ~ Cat.) The Star Knot seems to be out of energy, so Kryten comes up with the plan of firing the photon cannon into it to re-ignite it. The first time it happens, they are all aged dramatically, with Kryten appearing in a comedy ‘old person’ beige coat, trousers and hat, smoking a pipe. They fire the torpedo again, and are all reverted to babies, including a child in a Kryten costume wailing in a cot. Third time lucky, time starts reversing slowly, and we see Ziggy ejaculate into Lister’s bum, only for the semen to go back into his body – cut to him looking shocked with all his hair standing on end. The crew of the Enconium walk backwards onto their ship and it reverses out of the landing bay and into the Star Knot before disappearing. The Star Knot ruptures and glitches in a loop, leading to the final scene in the science room:

    Cat: So what is it?
    Kryten: I’ve never seen one before, no one has, but I believe it’s a Star Knot.
    Rimmer: A Star Knot?
    Kryten: A twist in the fabric of space, where time becomes a loop.
    Cat: So what is it?
    Kryten: I’ve never seen one before, not one has, but I believe it’s a Star Knot.
    Rimmer: A Star Knot?


    in reply to: Doctor Dwarf: The Books #255417

    If it helps, the novel ‘First Frontier’ by David A. McIntee has Ace saying Smeg a lot.

    Just on another McIntee novel, White Darkness, and along with saying “Smegging hell”, Ace also calls someone “molecule mind”.

    in reply to: How did it feel when Rob and Doug broke up with each other? #255411

    He’s that character from Travelers who survived the attacks.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf Book Club #254891

    Unfortunately, I’m a book-gobbler, and there’s no way I could stick to 50 pages at a time and actually enjoy it, I don’t think. I could TRY, though.
    But I’m interested to see how this comes together with the Dwarfcasts.

    in reply to: Jokes you don't/didn't get #254768

    I honestly find the idea of Doug knowing what “Cincinnati truffles” means incredibly unlikely.

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #254501

    I wonder if that’s when pre-production starts, with audience shoots in the new year.

    in reply to: Leopard Lager #254373

    You mean you didn’t have a peek at the label to see who brewed it?

    in reply to: Leopard Lager #254286

    Anyone who still has a bottle of this: who brewed it?

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #254203

    An astonishing -1786 years!

    in reply to: McDonalds: may contain traces of Polymorph #253997

    in reply to: I'd better, um, change the old bag, there #253986

    Why didn’t Lister just go somewhere that had reasonable quality knives and forks (the kind used for meals at the Captain’s table, for example)?

    in reply to: Yes (Prime) Minister #253493

    Absolutely immaculate television. Superb satire but also wonderful farcical sitcom at the same time. Time to get that box set I think.

    Lister trying to get Rimmer to go to bed with him in Epideme would be weird

    Yet less weird than trying to get his mum to go to bed with him.

    in reply to: The Timelords / The KLF – Doctorin' the Tardis #252486

    I think you’ve missed the point in just about everything they’ve done, Darrell. They’ve never been ironic as such, but they’re exceptionally self-aware and satirical. They also believed strongly in everything they ever did. Bill Drummond is one of my favourite people ever. A wonderfully self-critical artist with an exceptional sense of humour, and probably one of the most relentlessly fascinating and entertaining situationist artists ever. As for cult leaders… I think that’s one of the strangest things I’ve ever read.

    Where’d you read about this Firm link, by the way? I know quite a lot about The KLF and have never come across that before. The KLF were literally just Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty (with a couple of studio guys helping out), there was no ‘studio band’ on the track as far as I know, as it’s almost entirely made of samples. They wanted to make a house version of the Doctor Who theme, realised it wouldn’t work without it sounding daft so just decided to go all out and make it totally ludicrous.

    in reply to: The Timelords / The KLF – Doctorin' the Tardis #252471

    Pretty sure the Dalek says UWOT as well, but they aren’t using the best ring modulator on it so it’s hard to make out.

    As an aside, the square Daleks with the people’s feet visible at the bottom are one of my favourite things ever.

    in reply to: I'VE JUST CACKED ME PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 #252435

    Alternatively, Craig picking his nose, pretending to flick it and Bobby pretending to catch it.

    Worth it for “obSCENE!”

    Cacked me pants and poo myself are my favourites. Mr Guitar too.

    “Anything else coming, Mr. Cat?”

    Bobby is very good at these.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #252117

    Yes, he only really stays with UNIT because he’s using their scientific equipment to try and repair his TARDIS. He’s always critical of the military, even if he becomes fond of the regulars on a personal level, and as soon as his TARDIS is fixed he fucks off and only really comes back to Jo and / or Sarah.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #252084

    Doctor Who has such a varied history with such a huge number of writers that it’s hard to classify it as having any particular leaning – there are always ’60s artefacts that jar, and even Moffat asked Gatiss to write Churchill as the cuddly hero rather than the racist, war-loving cunt that he actually was. But on the whole, the character has always been an anti-authoritarian peace-lover who fundamentally believes in the good in people to get themselves through things. He’s an anarcho-communist if anything.

    Star Trek is programme about how positive humanity could be if we put our differences, greed and violence behind us. TNG onwards much moreso, admittedly, but the universe of the Federation is about as close to utopian left-wing politics as fiction ever dares go.

    in reply to: Danny interview with the Express #252083

    Yeah, it’s still four months before filming, so I reckon tickets will be along in due time. Given just how happy they’ve been to have the audience back, with Doug saying it’s a big part of the show, I’d be very surprised if there wasn’t one.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #252058

    It’s mentioned on a couple of DVDs. I don’t think he was very fond of the black astronaut in The Tenth Planet, and Anneke Wills and Michael Craze suggested they weren’t very fond of Hartnell because of him being a bit… ‘old fashioned’ in his views.

    And yeah, I don’t necessarily agree that age excuses bigotry, but at the same time, somebody born before the first world war having those kind of views isn’t particularly unusual and was just an unfortunate part of the times. His character was still, as Ben says, progressive for the time. I wonder if any people have been put off exploring the first few series because of the portrayal in Twice Upon a Time.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #252024

    Yeah, the First Doctor being a bit stuffy occasionally is a world away from him being a bit of a bigot. I like the idea of the message, but frankly Polly making the tea throughout her time with Troughton was probably worse than most of what happened during Hartnell’s era. It’s hard to quite work out why Moffat chose to do it that way – at times it almost feels like he’s ribbing the fact that Hartnell himself had quite a lot of questionable views.

    I wasn’t very fond of the whole “I don’t want to regenerate” stuff either, and that must have only been written to feed into Twice Upon a Time. It was all a bit of crap really.

    If Chibnall continues on the way he’s going with his back-to-basics approach (and he probably will, he’s not one for big, bold ideas), then the one thing we can at least expect from his tenure as showrunner is a straight-forward regeneration. The only one I’ve liked in the new series has been Eccleston to Tennant. Mopey victory tours, being given a new cycle of regenerations through a crack in the universe, not wanting to regeneration but being persuaded to do so by meeting the First Doctor, it’s all so bloody try-hard. Let’s just have an “oh shit I’m dying, oh look I’m someone new” scene and get on with it shall we?

    in reply to: Car Pool #252011

    Seasons 8 and 9 of Seinfeld are obviously below par compared to the huge run of near-perfection that came before them, but there’s still not an episode I would skip. Every one has a number of incredible jokes and huge laughs in it.

    in reply to: Car Pool #251913

    si, do yourself a favour and watch the whole lot in order. Now.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251843

    It’s so the name is red. We’d be asking “why is the word red in white?” if it was the other way around.

    in reply to: Misheard lines #251770

    Eating yoghurt is a perfectly normal thing to do, and something that millions worldwide do on a daily basis.

    in reply to: Blackadder the fifth? #251769

    I mean it’s obviously bollocks, but somehow Chortle still manage to fuck it up by suggesting that Blackadder’s Christmas Carol and The Cavalier Years were after Blackadder Goes Forth.

    in reply to: Danny interview with the Express #251768

    That’s the third time in the last week we’ve had a quote about it being filmed at the end of the year.

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #251710


    in reply to: Almost XIII news #251698

    Both Danny and Rob have now suggested XIII will be filmed in the second half of the year. It’s quite likely the final contractual things are being sorted out before any announcement can be made. Two people saying the same thing is a positive sign.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251669

    Cat and Lister probably sent Rimmer because they didn’t want to be stuck in a room with him for longer than absolutely necessary.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251597

    Can you prove it?

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251570

    Incest is fine in the future, partly because medical advancements have removed the possibility of birth defects, and partly because there is (VIII notwithstanding) literally no one else

    You’re saying that, if trapped in the future, with your mum as the only company, you’d lust after her? Is that what you’re saying Ben you filthy mite?

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251566

    Why is Lister constantly trying to fuck his mum in VII and VIII?

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251532

    Yeah, portable TV on Starbug.

    I love the shitty, lo-tech vibe of the BBC era. Get rid of that widescreen shite on the bunkroom walls and bring back this stuff.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251524

    Mind you, Lister gets a chicken soup without credits or any kind of technician token at the start of The End.

    in reply to: Great Acting In Me² #251376

    The whole hog? Like it wasn’t hard

    Sorry I can’t do it

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251127

    Cat in the mirror universe is equally nonsensical. Something like Mr. Rat would have worked a lot better there. Other than the fact that he’s funny and the mirror universe stuff isn’t.

    in reply to: What improvements can be made for XIII? #251126

    There’s also the underlying idea that Mr. Rat is basically what Cat would be if the show was done really badly. It’s just the most ludicrous extreme you could take that evolved-animal character to.

    in reply to: Unanswered Questions #251112

    Is it in the Backwards novel where it’s suggested that Ace turns up in the same time zone as his alter-ego in that universe, regardless of when it is? It’s somewhere, I’m sure.

    I really feel that GNP need to create a Red Dwarf equivalent of this:

    Jawscvmcdia was largely the reason I stopped going in there, to be honest. I’m back now though.

    It’s a handy caveat for Doug to introduce Mr. Rat permanently.

    in reply to: Blinds in Dubai #250286

    “The arrival of your valued cosmos” is a lovely phrase. I’m stealing it for something.

    in reply to: Doctor Dwarf: The Books #250044

    I never noticed that line in IWCD. I’m so overdue a re-read of the Dwarf books.

    Just on Mike Tucker’s Prime Time. He’s introduced a character called Reg Gurney, whose 30 years in the Space Corps have given him the perspective that the key to efficiency is a pair of well-polished boots. He called The Doctor ‘fella-me-lad’. This character is played by Chris Barrie in my head.

    in reply to: What improvements can be made for XIII? #250016

    The main problem with it is Lister is too intelligent to think trying to pick something up while lying on top of it is going to work. Regardless of Rimmer’s reaction, Lister’s actual actions are nonsense. I wanted to really like it, because it’s actually relatively well set up and is a rare occasion of the two main plot strands tying together properly, but it just doesn’t work at all.

    in reply to: What improvements can be made for XIII? #249802

    I’m with most of the suggestions so far: less of the broad, on-the-nose jokes, subtler performances. That said, I think the tone of the jokes has been slightly off since Rob left, so I don’t really imagine it changing any time soon. I’d love some non-comedy villains, some more low-key plots, fewer guest stars, and more realistic performances, but given the success of XI and XII, I don’t see it coming.

    Better structured episodes would be good though. Scrapping X’s b-plot approach showed Doug was able to see that the stories didn’t flow as well, so something like that for the rushed / unbalanced plots of XI and XII would be great. A bit more pathos would be nice, at least to the extent of X if not the classic era. A balance of stories: at least one for Lister, Rimmer and Kryten, and some ensemble ones. Lister was too under-represented in XI and XII.

    Visually, an overhaul would be nice as I’ve never really liked the X/XI/XII red sets. Starbug is fine for me, although a midsection would certainly be nice.

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #249706

    I can hear his brain going “We start series thirteen- oh shit, I shouldn’t have confirmed that, er… I mean we’ve been doing it for ages and we love doing it, make-up and props lol”

    in reply to: Doctor Dwarf: The Books #249496

    Including the spin-offs, there are nearly 700 official Who and Who-related novels and short story collections. I’m near the 300 mark at the minute, it took me two years of reading nothing else. I am now alternating, a few Who novels then a few fucking-hell-anything-but-sci-fi-please novels.

    Once I’m done I’m doing every Big Finish. That’s around a thousand including all the spinoffs.

    in reply to: Red Dwarf Lied to me. #249083

    There’s a lot of truth in that statement – the older you get, the harder it is to eat crap without putting on the weight or feeling ill from it. I used to eat a diet almost entirely based around sugar, carbs and fat, and since hitting 30 it’s resulted in my putting weight on. Since dieting I’ve lost a lot of that weight again, but when I do have the odd binge I put some fat back on and sometimes feel sick. The body gets resistant to shovelling shit into it.

    in reply to: Would you ever watch a Star Wars/Red Dwarf crossover? #248337

    Luke Skywalker discovers that Princess Leia is his sister just after kissing her. Pretending he was asleep, he does an unconvincing “wake up” mime.
    “Oh, my god, what a terrible dream! Oh, hi, sis! It’s me, Luke, your bro! Get your big ol’ lumpy bum down here and give us a big hug!”

    in reply to: Would you ever watch a Star Wars/Red Dwarf crossover? #248259

    Phantom Menace is VIII, right?

    I mostly want weird space phenomena: Future Echoes, White Hole, Out of Time, Stasis Leak, Terrorform, the first half of Skipper… these are usually my favourite plots. They allow for a lot of weird imagination, plus a sense of threat, without need for a bad guy.

    That said, it would be quite nice to have a ‘monster’ of some sort, for a bit of variety. Other than the Polymorph in Can of Worms (which is always in friendly disguise), we’ve not had much in the Dave era. The BEGGs were on screen for a few minutes, and the GELF in Krysis for even less. All the other guests have been androids, Simulants, computers or humans.

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #247477

    Yes, Big Finish’s tendency to do go one spin-off too far is something I wouldn’t be keen on Red Dwarf following.

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #247473

    Pretty sure it’s been said here before that Doug’s already turned down Big Finish.

    I like the idea of it in some ways, but without an audience, and with the possibility of getting other writers in, I’m not sure how good it would be anyway…

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #247442

    they’re highly unlikely to make a new series for Dave again as the chiefs have changed

    I don’t get this. The people at Dave now are going to go “This was an enormously successful show for our channel that spearheaded our line in original content, let’s not have any more of it”?

    in reply to: Almost XIII news #247346

    It’s hard not to feel deflated at the absurdly long gap we’re well into at the minute, but I don’t actually see anything that suggests it’s not going to happen. If Doug and the cast are up for it, there’s no way Dave are going to turn it down (as I said a couple of months ago, it’s one of their two most successful shows).
    If anything, the gap is making it more likely that the next series (or two) will be the last. If this gap is to be expected, then Rob will be into his 70s if another block comes along after XIII. So we could be on for a final series next. But I’m still confident we’ll get more, whatever happens.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #246602

    From what I read, it’s a very good conversion apparently. I certainly didn’t notice it being any different to normal.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #246600

    Yeah, the wording is pretty poor, a lot of people were caught out expecting a standard packaging later. The fact that they’re doing them as limited editions in the first place is ludicrous anyway. If there’s demand, keep them in print, surely? I can’t fathom why not.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #246598

    Given the ridiculous prices for the 12 box, you’d at least think they’d do another run of them. Not many people were expecting it to sell out so quickly, and so lots of people thinking they could get it a few months down the line were screwed over. I have the US ‘Tom Baker Season One’ release in place of it, which will suffice, but will look daft on my shelf in the long run.

    Doug Nayler, the parent of the Spaceship Red Dwarf.

    The cover’s alright. Probably better than the UK one.

    “I’m just a computer simulation of me.”
    The original setup of the show is really quite bleak, isn’t it? Holly and Rimmer are technically just the same computer, and Cat doesn’t really interact with Lister that much. Imagine if they’d decided to follow that line of plotting right through, so Lister gradually loses his mind through loneliness.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #246038

    Imagine them doing security for a peace conference when an alien invasion happens. That would be embarrassing. They also manage to fuck up at the peace conference and lose the missile. Useless fucks.

    in reply to: The Classic Doctor Who Thread (1963 to 1989/1996) #246028

    UNIT doesn’t hold up very well to close inspection. Their duty – to fend off ‘unknown’ menaces – doesn’t stop them constantly facing scepticism, even from within their own ranks. And it also doesn’t explain why they seem to spend most of their time providing security for peace conferences or trafficking missiles around. Or why they’re so consistently, spectacularly bad at their jobs.

    My Season 18 BluRay came this morning. Going to be indulging in some special features later I think.

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