International Debris

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Commentary podcasts would be good, as long as they include Doug commentaries. The cast ones are entertaining enough for a single listen, but Doug’s director’s commentary was my favourite thing about the whole of BTE.

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Only the Good is such an appalling mess of an episode. I actually can’t wait for the Dwarfcast commentary for it. C’mon chaps, get to it, you know you want to.

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Cassandra is obviously the least awful and most Red Dwarf-like of the lot, but it’s way too chock-full of terrible, terrible jokes and nonsensical plot for me to actually find it an enjoyable episode.

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It’s ok, VI is by far my least favourite of the classic run so I get where she’s coming from, even if she exaggerated it. There are far more dumpable offences.
Like when I started showing her The Fast Show and she didn’t laugh at all.

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My girlfriend, knowing Rob left at some point, thought it was after V and really struggled with Psirens. She just made it through VI, but only carried on to resolve the cliffhanger. After Tikka she said she didn’t want to watch any more because it would ruin her memory of the first five series.

Interestingly, it took her half of III before she could come to terms with how much it changed. She’d never seen a second of the show before, so it was really interesting to gauge her response, and her surprise and laughter really brought new life to episodes which I’d seen 50+ times.

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After opening the stasis booth they don’t believe it.

It’s Victor Meldrew! And who should be in the other stasis pod, but his ex-neighbour, Patrick Trench! Cursing his luck at being trapped in the distant future with his nemesis, Patrick screams in frustration, causing a ship-quake. The crew quickly escort the two 20th century men back aboard Starbug, and Kryten notices a slime trail leading in the same direction. Before he has time to tell the rest of the crew, a metal beam hits him on the head and knocks him out.
With Kryten out cold until he can be repaired, Cat and Lister piloting and Rimmer navigating, Victor and Patrick are left in the mid-section on their own and have an amusing argument about whose fault the situation is. Fancying a cup of tea, Victor heads into the kitchen. Off screen we hear: “What in the name of bloody hell?!”
Cut to- Victor with a baby Giant Death Worm trying to attach itself to his face. Patrick rushes in and valiantly rips it off him, before heading to the airlock, blasting both himself and the creature out into space. Before he closes the airlock door, he mentions to Victor that death by asphyxiation would be preferable to the rest of his life trapped in deep space with Mr. Meldrew.
“Oh, by the way,” Victor says to Lister, as they conduct a remembrance service for Patrick, “there was another person on board the space station – she was in a stasis booth on the level above us. A rather hoity-toity young lady with a strange name.”
“Kochanski? Was it Kochanski?”
“Ah yes, that’s it. Said she was Scottish but she didn’t sound it.”
“Quick, we’ve gotta get back there to rescue her.”
Suddenly, the space station Starbug is flying towards explodes.
“I don’t believe it!” cries Lister. Rimmer rolls his eyes and passes him an accident report form. Lister looks at the camera and shrugs.

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I honestly find the humour in VII really lacking. I know a lot of people rate Tikka, but I can’t stand it. Just full of the crap I hate about late ’90s Dwarf – sentient confused video cameras, ‘wacky’ Kryten, lol curry, nonsensical cheap shit like the pizza gag, the cannibalism scene, a plot that makes literally no sense.

Most of Blue and the Holly stuff in Nanarchy is about as far as I can get in VII without sighing and / or cringing.

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I’m planning to actually read them cover to cover one day.

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Pot Noodle, even if the one they eat from isn’t actually a Pot Noodle.
Crispie bar is an interesting one, as the one seen on screen is actually a Toffee Crisp, isn’t it?
Bonjella Gum Ointment.

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I’m assuming that’s just an error and Kochanski was never intended to be a hologram…

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Crazy. Even as a mid-teen with more time for nob gags and without the cynicism of adulthood that provides the knowledge that even the best things can go utterly shit, I remember finding VIII uncomfortable viewing at times and it was always at the bottom for me. Too many flat jokes, broad performances, non-plots and really tacky production values (I’m completely with Chris on the ’70s sci-fi font he mentions in the commentary – it stood out to me as really cheesy on first watch).
Actually, the look of VIII is something I don’t think gets mentioned so often, but I really hate it. It has a garishness that makes it look more like a cheap set than the first two series ever did.
Also, Kochanski’s outfit and hair dramatically changing between scenes on either side of the cliffhanger winds me up so much.

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I think you could be right, certainly a lot of what could be considered classic-style scenes in VIII – XI (bunk room / ensemble discussion) have felt a bit like standup routines out together than natural conversation.

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I don’t imagine anyone would have thought Rimmer was the dominant partner in the bedroom.

Having said that, I just remembered Demons & Angels.

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I have all four series on DVD. It starts very much in kids TV territory – although the first series does have the Pancake Day song and The White-ish Knight – and gets stronger with the arrival of Guy mid-series two. Three and four are marvellous, some genuinely great comedy, a ton of anachronisms that were obviously aimed at adults watching. Gary and Graham are the highlights for me. I always enjoy nice-but-idiotic characters, and that combined with the idea that two Norman soldiers would be brummies just tickles me.

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If it has a reversible sleeve, I will forever be uncomfortable having to choose between one that lines up with 1-8/10, and one with a good font on the cover.

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Fuck’s sake, the suggestions by Renegade Rob, Pete Tranter’s Sister and srmcd1 just highlight how much of a wasted opportunity it was.

My favourite is still the one I developed from the idea I had halfway through BitR, of where I thought it was going: the main cast have escaped on Blue Midget, and have to live alone, possibly pursued by the ship’s crew, until they can put together a water-tight case. They hunt for the nanobots, have a few adventures, and eventually come across some sort of space-menace that they have to save the crew from. As thanks, they are allowed freedom of the ship – just in time for the nanobots to realise the mistake they’ve made, and wipe out the crew once more. A bleak ending, and a reset.

Or y’know, they could have just arrived back on Red Dwarf and continued in series IV/V style.

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I have to admit, I’ve often wondered just how hologrammatic sex works.

If someone was desperate for a wank, they’d find out a way, boxing gloves or not. I wouldn’t put it past Rimmer’s upbringing for him to have been forced into a chastity device.

I’m not sure I like the tone of this post.

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If there’s no Doug commentary I’m not buying it*.

*I am still buying it.

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I’m personally glad they did Remastered, as it allowed me to buy the stories on VHS in the late ’90s, get used to them, and then be rewarded with a shedload of new jokes when I bought the DVDs a few years later. I was absolutely amazed at how many jokes had been edited out.

Mind you, I’m still disappointed that the original ending of Stasis Leak isn’t as long as the remastered one. The extra few seconds of chaos really help the punchline, I think. Probably the only improvement (other than the Skutter in The End, obviously).

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I remember seeing Ronnie Barker talking about the original idea of Porridge, in which he suggested something much more Carry On-like, with them smuggling women into the prison etc., and then it ended up being much more hard hitting and dramatic, obviously for the better.
VIII feels almost like that original idea.

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I’ve tried, many times, to come up with an explanation for series VIII. None of it makes sense. From Kryten and Cat being consigned to prison despite being creatures from the crew’s future, through to the crew seemingly carrying on with their duties (Rimmer being on probation in Only the Good suggests they’re in prison for more than enough time for the crew to realise they’re no longer in the solar system), and the absurd size on The Tank, given that it’s only one floor on the ship. Obviously.”, it’s easily possible to make genuine dramatic and/or comedic criticisms of every scene in the whole series, but the basic concept of the series is just totally ridiculous. Like many, I was looking forward to a return to the status quo (in fact, the escape on Blue Midget in BitR3 actually had me thinking the series would see them in even more dire straits than in VI; I was also really relieved to be free of the revived crew), but even if the crew had to be there, a far more intriguing scenario could be played out with Lister returned to Z shift duties after years of autonomy, and Cat and Kryten facing restricted access due to research. There are so many potentially interesting character studies to be made from reintroducing the characters to a routine situation after several years of adventures, as well as them helping the crew cope with being so far from home. But no, we get erection jokes and Kryten in a Jeremy Beadle beard.

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By spoilery I meant discussing any similarities/differences. This isn’t a UKTVPlay thread so viewers waiting for the Dave broadcast might read the discussion and have the surprise of the title sequence ruined.

I mean, it’s absurdly petty, but I know what some of you lot are like.

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Isn’t this, technically, a bit spoilery?

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I first watched Red Dwarf when I was eight, too. I recall the first scene I watched: Rimmer being oiled in Terrorform. My parents have never had an issue, mind. My dad’s a huge fan.

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Yeah, I was thinking there’s got to be a really high chance that the Starbug shot is the opening one of the titles. Great work!

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I don’t like them, personally. They just add a bit of clutter to an already busy sequence.

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Hey Doug, you reading this?

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I don’t get the hype for the movie. Single camera, no audience… I don’t think it works for Dwarf. I think BtE Directors Cut is the nearest thing we’re going to get.

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I was also thinking of something like Only the Good…, which feels like two half-developed episodes stuck together badly.

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Laugh-wise, I particularly like the the idea that it’d have taken far less time with only one Rimmer. If there was ever a fan-fic joke that felt as if it was straight out of the real thing…

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Just posted this on Facebook:

Pretty amazed that this ties together many, many continuity plot holes whilst retaining the structure of a coherent story and feeling like part of the show’s universe. Only a couple of big laughs, but plot-wise it works really well. As I don’t expect Doug to ever fill in the blanks this will work as a nice piece of head canon.

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Ah you got in before I could mention VIII, in which this structure loosely fits some of the episodes but in some cases is just torn apart in favour of larking about and gurning.

Excellent post, anyway.

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Pretty sure you’ll find the ’90s are back.

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Bloody hell, Chucklevision’s changed since I was a kid. They used to do things like cleaning houses and opening a shop back then.

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I believe this was the original premise of series 8.

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The newer Grange Hill theme is probably my favourite theme tune of all time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkaXl7Fyf1Y

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The funny bit being Hollister is fat.

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Oh yeah, there are far worse scenes in the same episode, and the banner reveal is quite good, but second best scene in the show? I find it difficult to fathom anybody could genuinely think that.

It may be an overplayed one, but “So what is it?” really needs to be in this list.

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Imagine thinking the period scene was better than almost everything in series 1-6.

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Replacing VIII with the movie, I’m guessing.

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Yeah I think it’s fair to assume the movie isn’t happening, a scriptbook would be lovely.

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Series 5 is my favourite by quite a way. 7 and 8, with their width, are a bit too human in some ways.

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Looks fairly lightweight and plasticky from that shot. Will obviously reserve judgement until I’ve seen it in action, but it doesn’t bode well for me.

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Hilly? Hmm.

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I actually do have a soft spot for Hardware.

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I like a fair bit of series 7, but my least favourites are really horrible. Dinosaurs on a Spaceship and The Rings of Akhaten are down there with my least favourite of the whole new series.

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Does ‘How Do You Want Me?’ count as a sitcom? If so, that’s the correct answer. Then MBB.

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Alright alright, it was only a question.

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Oh, so that’s what a bigature is. Less exciting, then. I was really hoping we’d get that nice huge white painted section for the name like the original model had.

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Oh, the remastered The End skutter! Haha.

[Author]

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