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What have you done to my life?? I’m now convinced I hear it during any show with laughter….

I don’t understand why they didn’t just copy and paste a laugh from the actual recording sessions instead of stock laughter…

Thankfully, XI didn’t seem to have much ‘sweetened’ laughter pasted on. I may be wrong and there’s loads…but it doesn’t seem ‘in your face’.

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Getting someone else in to direct, at this stage, would feel akin to having to watch your ex-wife’s new partner take your son to the football.

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The Beatles split up. The Smiths split up. Charles and Diana got divorced. This is life. These things happen. It has approx. eff all to do with us; and who even gives two shovels of sugar about it anymore??

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One of them came in the room to find the other wanking over the long lost footage of ‘naked Kryten’, then promptly walked back out, never to return.

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Did any of those people actually watch Can of Worms?

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> the universally recognised palette of lazy grading.

How insightful.

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‘But there’s a Bishop in it, they’ll love it!’ could have been a line…. but you wouldn’t get enough of a reaction cause most people watching probably don’t know about the character.

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All these years…… *breaks down*

My belief system has been torn asunder.

> For one exhausting year I used to co-run and co-edit a daily pop culture trivia/ephemera blog called Talk About The Passion with my old friend Ben

REM-related at all? :)

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Clearly it needs to be axed and replaced with ‘Cooking In Prison’. Or a new scifi-based reality show ‘Blast Off! On Benefits’

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> Like when I started showing her The Fast Show and she didn’t laugh at all.

There are only a small handful of sketches/characters that make me laugh, especially now. I don’t think it’s aged particularly well… It was alright when everyone was talking about it at school, though I like darker humour, usually so dark it’s almost black…black….BLACK! Like the caverns where the mome raths hide….the raisins that line your icy tomb!! Mother, shall we dine tonight on Father’s tyres? The rubber rings circle his soul all withered and BLACK!!

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http://www.fullychargedshow.co.uk/red-dwarf/2016/8/25/red-dwarf-xi-the-first-viewing

Bobby’s take, there. Plus a new cast shot pic I’ve not seen.

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> The chalk markings were shit though.

Hell they grate, don’t they….? Though it was only years later that it hit me how they are there because of the prison connection…XD

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What an absolute slag.

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Someone at Dave made a boo-boo?? Though I’m sure this info will be out there soon enough (some of it has already been officially revealed), it is still spoilerific so the details of it shouldn’t be mentioned here, yet….

Though one thing I have to say…Episode 6 has the worst title of any Dwarf episode in the history of Dwarf episodes. Episode 5’s title, on the other hand, how has it never been used up till now?

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I actually got a little emotional over Brendan’s speech about comedy at the end of the live episode…

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They didn’t exactly ‘split up again’ seeing as there was no indication they were gonna rekindle their writing partnership. What is ‘really strange and no-one mentions it’ is the fact that Rob was script editor on the first series of Stressed Eric.

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I’m reliably informed each month is the characters of R E D D W A R F 2 0 1 7 spelled out.

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It needs an ‘S’ :p

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‘What is your Red Dwarf?’

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A Christmas special? Maybe they mean BtE, and this was going to be used as part of a much bigger setup than the diving bell we got in the episode?

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Amazing!! It must have been so frustrating for them at the time, and a huge shame we didn’t get to see more of work they did for VII (broadcast, at least).

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Who cares when it’s on, it’s gonna be shit anyway. Life has no meaning since we left the EU.

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*fully expects them to master them at 24p so the episodes play 4% slower, like DW series’ 1-4*

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Dwarf was the first thing namechecked when Alex Jones introduced him, so at least there was that…

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Who knows whether it’ll ever see the light of day? Hope it does though. Any new sitcom pilot is welcome.

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Interestingly enough, it does get a MASSIVE laugh from the audience… XD

The scene actually wouldn’t be that bad if everything wasn’t dragged out so much…it’s so over-egged. As soon as you see the banner and Kochanski’s reaction to it that’s all you need. In that one moment you’re laughing at everything that they then try to get more laughs out of in the next minute. It’s only the first moment that’s funny.

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In one way I’m glad they’ve altered it so much from X, where it seemed too cumbersome. If it looks a bit ‘cheap’ it doesn’t matter because that’s always been part of Kryten’s charm. The mask, I reckon, is great! You can see more of Bobby’s face through the rubber than ever.

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I only wish they’d turn that fucking tambourine down……

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It would be good to see at least some changes between XI and XII. Especially with something like the Kryten suit, which most people seemed less than impressed with in the set reports…(as opposed to the head which was universally praised)

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Are you my mummy??

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Obviously there’s more important things to work on, but I would love it if they changed the Dwarf boosters back to being more like the original model… still hate the VIII-onwards ones….

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The funny thing about that is most people who contributed are probably old farts like us who watched the original shows, not really a ‘modern audience’…

This makes me think of the grand statements people make saying ‘no-one wants to watch TV any more’ it’s total bullshit for those whose brains work exclusively in clickbait headlines.

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Just realised I said Brent Spiner playing Kryten, despite the whole point of it being that David Ross was back xD Whatever.

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Pree, or maybe Rebecca Blackstone playing another character.

David Ross’ Kryten in a story where the crew discover their ‘legit’ selves in a parallel universe.

Lister would be played by Chiwetel Ejiofor,
Rimmer by Alexander Armstrong,
the Cat by Paterson Joseph,
Kryten by Brent Spiner,
Kochanski by Emily Watson.
Holly by Norman Lovett (cause Norm’s legit, innit)

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The worst thing about Taiwan Tony is that it’s in the middle of an, otherwise, fucking great episode.

Okay, as far as all-time most cringeworthy Dwarf imaginable…

Let’s say Miss Kochanski being ‘on the blob’ (an actual Lister line from the episode), is threatening to cause some kind of spacetime-bending, cataclysmic event, due to the fact that this is the time she should have been pregnant to Lister with a child that was…basically the John Connor of the Dwarf universe (yeah I just watched Terminator Genysis, ‘bite me’).

So…they miniaturise Starbug (as you do) with Lister, Cat and Kryten onboard (Rimmer stays behind for moral support), in order to enter Miss Kochanski via her vaginski, into her wombski and up the fallopian tube, lickety split, then fire the modified Time Wand towards her ovary, taking it back a while in order for Lister to have a go at fertilising the right egg at the right time…

Of course, the Time Wand doesn’t work as planned, and what Kryten ends up doing is devolving Miss Kochanski’s ovary, thus the child that is eventually born is…no, not Neanderthal man, or proto-human, but Martian, therefore confirming that women are in fact originally from Mars (and men as well, but it’s funnier that women are).

When Kryten tries to rectify this, the baby turns into a giant, psychotic sperm beast which hunts down the crew and…..yeah.

Basically Kochanski having a period. Again. Cause that’s what women do. And it’s funny.

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> Similarly, when we did a version of The Young Ones’ “Bambi” as a school play thing once,

Beyond brilliant!

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I like it when the vampire does a dance.

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Want…..

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People should just be thankful they have a roof over their heads. It’s a slightly sub-par series of a brilliant television programme…

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You can literally cut 2 entire episodes for VII and not one wink of sleep would be lost.

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> I’m sure it’s better than the Brent movie will be, though.

I don’t know why he’s even doing it tbh. The character, despite not really appearing in that many episodes, has nothing more to give. The more you delve into his life the more depressing it’s gonna get… If it was an Office movie it might be a bit more bearable.

As for what’s ‘Dwarfy’, much of X actually managed it IMO. Lister’s scene with himself in Fathers & Suns is pure Dwarf, as is Pree herself. There are scenes in Lemons and Entangled that also feel they could easily be from past series’. Entangled would have been my favourite episode from X by a mile (and maybe since VI) if the ending hadn’t been screwed…..

This cast and this writer can do anything they want and it WILL be ‘Dwarfy’ if they just do it with no fear and if technical issues don’t interfere. They are the two things that most commonly fuck up any creative project. If you’re scared to do something, what you end up with will be half-assed, and if, when you do decide to really go for it, technical shit gets in your way, then…bleh.

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It was hernia-inducing.

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I don’t agree that the cast weren’t into BtE. I enjoy their performances more than in VII and VIII. Yes, Craig is good in VII & VIII, but he’s fucking great here. It does help that the material he’s given IS good, from a Lister development pov. It may not necessarily be funny…but it gives the character a kick up the arse and reminds us why we ever gave a toss about him in the first place.

Of course, the line in Trojan ‘if Kochanski was here right now wanting sex’ or whatever the eff it was, kind of tramples over it. In fact, that line is, for me, the worst moment in the entirety of X (worse than ‘slag’, but then that choice moment also makes little sense coming from the more mature Lister). Doug has an ‘interesting’ take on female characters (human ones at least…).

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> One thing I don’t like about the Director’s Cut is that there’s a really good Rimmer reaction shot in Part 1 that’s not in the DC.

Whereabouts?

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Stop slagging off Derek you massive fucks! It wasn’t that bad!! It was heartwarming with old people, dogs and Karl Pilkington in a wig (even though he didn’t come back for series 2 after he realised he couldn’t spend another moment with Gervais’ screaming baboon laughter in his face for another 6 weeks) what the eff more do you want??

I think we should be happy with what we got for X as far as direction goes. Doug was obviously really up against it and to start planning different framing etc. for various scenes probably wasn’t practical. After all, a couple of the episodes only just about came together in the end…

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Rimmer is about to ‘die’, and the only way of saving him is for Lister, Cat and Kryten to be miniaturised and injected, by a skutter, into his light bee. A sort of sequel to Terrorform, though not copying it, obviously……

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We see the old Lister scene from Future Echoes.

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That’s like asking whether you prefer cat food or dog food…

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