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  • in reply to: Real Life Dwarfisms #120200
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I got beaten up by someone for eating their pie, and then I ate it.

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Yeah, The Long Game is far better than Fear Her, because The Long Game isn’t THE WORST EPISODE OF DOCTOR WHO EVER EVER EVER.

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Yeah, a tad annoying that they’re going to cut it off after (probably) THE BEST EPISODE OF SERIES ONE.

    in reply to: The Office #120110
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Is Stromberg itself actually any good?

    in reply to: Who Series Four Cinema Trailer #120096
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’m less annoyed about having to wait to see the film – you expect that, it’s what trailers are for and it means you don’t have to worry if you’re running a bit later than planned; but what irks me is that the adverts now have far more running time – and, it seems, are ascribed far more importance – than the trailers. And as someone who sees a good trailer as an integral part of the cinema-going experience, that’s saddening.

    in reply to: J.J’s Trek Trailer #120088
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I am popping my head round the door of this thread to declare that I care not a jot for Trek in any of its forms; but despite the fact that the last time Abrams was let loose on someone else’s property he wrote what was by all accounts a downright insulting Superman script, I think this film could be pretty cool. Mainly because of Pegg.

    Um, as you were.

    in reply to: Anniversary… serious now. #120061
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Well, forget about the ball pit for now, just do what you can with the rest of it.

    in reply to: Dr Who audio dramas for download #120060
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >The audiobooks are actually being discussed at the moment and we hope to have good news for everyone very soon.

    Awesome. I’ve got to say, I’m not as big a fan as some, but it’d be great to see them properly out there again.

    in reply to: Dr Who audio dramas for download #120049
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    The Dwarf audio books usually tend to do the rounds on the torrent networks…

    in reply to: Who Series Four Cinema Trailer #120014
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    The point is, if you’re given a start time for a film, that’s when the film should start. Put all the adverts you want on… BEFORE that time.

    But Odeons have become pretty much unbearable for me, now – Golden Compass at Christmas was just about the last straw. Picturehouses almost exclusively from now on, I think…

    in reply to: Who Series Four Cinema Trailer #120012
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I should hasten to add that I don’t mind getting lots and lots of trailers – but nowadays, it seems you have to sit through twenty minutes of crap adverts only to be rewarded with a couple of short trailers. NOT ON.

    in reply to: Who Series Four Cinema Trailer #120011
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’ve started to count the amount of time after the scheduled start time that a film now starts. It’s getting worse every time, is completely unacceptable, and is contributing to my growing habit for pirating (or getting hold of screener DVDs through work) films rather than going to the cinema.

    in reply to: Who Series Four Cinema Trailer #119996
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Oh, it’s really, really fucking annoying. I saw it when we went to see Golden Compass over Christmas. It’s an audio only thing, with a blank screen, and Moyles and “Comedy” Dave TITTING ABOUT. Alright, so if you’re a radio geek they do some mildly amusing stuff with stereo, but I don’t want that man’s ANNOYING VOICE blaring out for five minutes when I’m there to see a FILM.

    in reply to: Identity #119987
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Ian’s just bitter because Darkness fans reckon he nicked Justin Wotsisface’s entire schtick.

    Also, re the Games Mistress thing, I’d like to point out that I’m not the sadcase (the wonderful sadcase) that uploaded EVERY SINGLE appearance – I just put the first one up there ;-)

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Yeah, the TARDIS bits from Family of Blood are much closer to how I wish it had looked all along – there’s a great early publicity shot somewhere of Ecclescakes and Rose from when they were still lighting it quite brightly white, which to me served as a good link with the design from the original series…

    in reply to: Spot The Wrongness #119945
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Me three.

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119925
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >I think the ?Brylcreem? gag is one of the best in Series VIII.

    Yes, of all the attempts to bring “Series II-ish Holly dialogue” back in series VIII, that was probably the best. Well, I say “best”, I mean “only vaguely successful one”.

    in reply to: Spot The Wrongness #119924
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    You know, I don’t think he’s aware that the episodes have already been released :

    “As one who has no particular emotional attachment to Red Dwarf, either in original or remastered flavour, I wasn’t upset either way. Had 2 Entertain included only the former, viewers might have complained at the lack of remastered versions while, in only releasing the latter, there is the suggestion that fans of the original won’t much appreciate the tinkering.”

    WELL OF COURSE THEY WOULDN’T HAVE INCLUDED THE NON-REMASTEREDS, YA MOOK.

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119894
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >?it?s an obscene phone call, sir?

    Best gag in VII, there. Mainly for Robert’s delivery. Comes in an otherwise appalling episode, as well.

    >I?d be more concerned about Grogan?s pronunciation of ?Dwarf?.

    Loads of people pronounce it that way, it’s really fucking annoying. Eternal are one of the worst offenders, in the A-Z, but if you look at some of the continuity we’ve got on the site, even some of the fucking BBC2 announcers do it. IT IS NOT PRONOUNCED DA-WARF. IT IS ONE SYLLABLE.

    in reply to: Spot The Wrongness #119893
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    This one’s me taking a guess, but presumably the whole letterbox issue isn’t a result of the DVD transfer, but of the Remastered episodes themselves? Admittedly I know bog all about aspect ratios and that sort of thing, so I could be completely wrong, but an inordinate amount of time seemed to be spent discussing something that, given how much of a geek Andrew is, I doubt would have been a fault in the DVD production process.

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119880
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I don’t know, his “Ah-ah-ah-ah-donnunderstand!” is a bit cringey too. That might just be from the reflected awfulness of CPG, though.

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119878
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >Who votes we put together a definitive Chicken List as a G&T article?

    ME

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119859
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    ?Don?t try to help us. We?re finished. Save yourselves.?

    *Shudders*

    Oh, god, yeah. At least with most of the others, the flaw is in the writing, not the delivery. I actually find it physically uncomfortable to watch that entire scene.

    in reply to: Spot The Wrongness #119858
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    LISTING SPECIAL FEATURES IS NOT THE SAME AS REVIEWING THEM.

    Someone else post, quick, I’ve got loads more.

    in reply to: Andrew! Christ! #119791
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Oh, and I’ve just read the post. It’s fucking Darrell. Makes a LOT of sense, then.

    in reply to: Andrew! Christ! #119790
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Well, that tallies up pretty well with the theory that someone over there is the trouble-causer on Wikipedia, who has frequently slagged off Andrew and various G&Ters in the process.

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119784
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    And I’d like you to lay them for me, you chicken.

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Ah, you’re probably right, that probably was giving away a bit much, but I was just trying to answer genuine questions. Ho hum.

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’m struggling to remember a bit where Rose looks out of the window and says “Hey, Doctor, the swirly things are red now, but they were blue before, what’s going on?”

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >Nice bit of not-giving-anything-away-until-Marleen-finds-out-for-herself there, Seb.

    What? What did I give away, aside from how annoying the “solve everything” nature of the sonic screwdriver, which she’d already picked up on, is?

    Other than that, I’ve not given anything away that’s explicitly mentioned in the series…

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I have to say that timetravel is a real plot killer, because everytime things get rough you think ?okay, now go back in time 10 minutes and everything will be fine?. The fact that The Doctor doesn?t should be explained in some way.

    It is. I can’t remember when they first do it in the new series (perhaps not even until series two – but it’s all about how when you’re part of a timeline, you can’t go back and interfere with it), but it was a regular feature of the old series to point this out. One of the annoying features of the 1996 TV movie, in fact, was that it did just that in order to make everything alright.

    the ?I can do anything including toasting bread? blue? thingy.

    Oh, you have NO idea…

    That?s a bit of a weak start, isn?t he supposed some kind of superhero?

    Yes, but one with a very strong moral sense – he almost never uses violence to solve problems, preferring to be all clever and try to sort things out. He’s a scientist – not a fighter.

    Does the Doctor eat and sleep there on the ?bridge? or does Tardis have more rooms?

    Yes, it has more rooms. Many more rooms – it’s theoretically infinite in size, in fact. In three series (and three Christmas specials) of the new run, though, only ONE other room (a wardrobe) has been seen. I’m hoping this will be rectified at some point.

    The colours of the swirly things, do they mean anything? Like blue = into the past and red = into the future?

    I can’t remember which way round it is, but… you’ve got this bang on. This is a feature of the new series, not present in the original. A neat touch, I think.

    I wish you could see it in the original, though – for Eccleston’s delivery if nothing else. Download, perhaps?

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Ooh, also, Marleen might be the ONLY person in the world to actually get to experience That Thing That Happens At The End Of The First Series as it was originally intended – that is, as a complete, out of the blue, butt-fucking surprise!

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119720
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >Any time ?black card? is mentioned. One of the best Re-mastered cuts.

    *hits the “Ban performingmonkey” button*

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119708
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Am I still me? Who’s eating this chicken?

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’m just generally curious to see how someone completely brand new would find it. Does a Dalek seem like a genuine threat when you have no idea of the background? Is the general conceit well explained? What do you make of the TARDIS? And, if/when you get to the end of the series… well, some stuff happens that is something of a well-known TV institution in this country, but I’d be VERY interested to see what you make of it…

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119702
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Yeah, but tape were more expensive in them days, lad…

    in reply to: Scholarly articals/books on the dwarf #119696
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    *hangs head* I misread your original post, I thought you were talking about postmodernism in a literary sense; but you mean postmodernity in a cultural/social/philosophical sense, don’t you?

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119695
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    CHICKEN.

    I will continue to call you chicken until you ask him.

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119691
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    LISTER: Roughly translated? Hit the reheat.
    CAT: You don?t have to tell me twice.
    LISTER: Cat man, hit the reheat!
    CAT: Oh sorry. Looks like you do have to tell me twice.

    I like this, but Buffy did the same gag much better.

    As for the iguana line, I’m with Cappsy – I like it. But your point about jokes that wait for a laugh they don’t get… watching Bodyswap today (I’m still ploughing through Rehamstered mit der text tracks), there’s one there – it’s when Rimmer’s talking about “gibbering vegetable for the rest of your life”. He pauses before going into the second punchline, but the laugh doesn’t come until the very end of the line…

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119690
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Go on then.

    in reply to: Lost #119675
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    To be fair, there are a lot of things you can’t do on TV unless you’re RTD (or Steven Moffat). CHRIS CHIBFACE TAKE NOTE.

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119674
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I don’t mind when someone I don’t have an awe-inspiring amount of respect for says it… but when people like Armando Iannucci say it, it’s a bit disappointing. You like to think you’d be on the same wavelength as those kind of people. I bet Charlie Brooker doesn’t like it, either.

    in reply to: Worst line from Red Dwarf #119672
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    The Nostrilomo.

    in reply to: Scholarly articals/books on the dwarf #119636
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    (although, thinking about it, I’m struggling to remember if postmodernism has really been covered. Anyone? Andrew, is there anything from the older days that might be helpful?)

    in reply to: Scholarly articals/books on the dwarf #119635
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    There are a lot of analytical articles buried here on G&T – particularly the ones by Austin, which aim to place Dwarf in a wider context of sci-fi and literature – that you can find if you root around a bit. Unfortunately, since moving the current system we haven’t yet been able to sort out a proper archiving system for easily finding them. We are looking into it, though, and in the meantime I’ll see if I can dig out some links for you.

    in reply to: Lost #119618
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    *namedrop alert*

    One of the most surreal moments of the last few years was having a wine-fuelled conversation with Joe Ahearne and Susannah Harker about how you can’t kill off Christopher Eccleston on British TV any more thanks to that episode… it would just bring upsetting memories flooding back for too many people!

    /*namedrop alert*

    in reply to: Lost #119602
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >Cracker?s opening series 2 story, lest we forget that Brit TV sometimes nails it, too.

    Since I’m too lazy to check IMDb, was this “To Be A Somebody” (the Hillsborough one)? Christ, that’s probably simultaneously the best (as in craftsmanship) and worst (as in harrowing) bit of drama this country has ever produced…

    in reply to: What is your favorite reply in this thread? #119597
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Whichever one corrects Phil’s spelling of “favourite” to the British will do it for me.

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119593
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Incidentally, the three comments above Steve’s represent my favourite moment in the history of G&T.

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119592
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Making connections is one of my worst Dwarf traits and one that often makes the family cringe?

    Same here, although not just with Dwarf – everyone on telly is “So and so out of that thing” to me. But it doesn’t make my family cringe, because my parents are just as bad, and they’re the people I got it from!

    It was a happy day in our house when IMDb was launched, I can tell you…

    in reply to: Really annoying things you do as a Red Dwarf fan #119574
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Say “Niet problemski” whenever anyone thanks me. And, indeed, frequently thank people by saying “Thankski veryski muchski budski”.

    in reply to: Identity #119522
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Hey, is this where I should recycle my awesome Crystal Maze proposal I’ve bored you all with before?

    Oh, alright then.

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    You might enjoy some aspects of this, then : http://f1colours.wordpress.com/

    If you’re as sad as me and Karl, that is.

    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    That’s the one, although it’s spelled Eccleston.

    You an F1 fan, then, Marleen?

    in reply to: “Best” real-life chatup lines #119483
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    You’d just better hope she doesn’t sober up before the wedding.

    in reply to: The Film Effect #119447
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >> I just assumed Who would shoot progressive.

    >Thus making an ass of U and MPTION

    GET OUT.

    in reply to: “Best” real-life chatup lines #119446
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    A girl very drunkenly said to me “In the words of Albert Schweitzer, I fancy you” in a club once. Not a random girl, I hasten to add. Someone I knew. It was followed a few weeks later, in the same club, by the following exchange :

    Her : “So, am I coming back to yours, then?”
    Me : “Do I have any choice?”
    Her : “Not really, no.”

    This makes it sound like I wasn’t interested; I was, I was just being rubbish. Anyway, we went out for a few months in the end, still mates today. I don’t think she remembers the Izzard-quoting incident.

    in reply to: Misheard lines #119409
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >SNPP is great! I remember finding that site while I was still at school, and reading pretty much every single list over a very short period of time.

    I heartily endorse this sentiment or product.

    They’ve never got round to updating their episode capsules properly, though, have they? Nevertheless… still the number one source of Simpsons info out there, by far.

    in reply to: The Complete Collection DVD – February 11th 2008 #119346
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’m guessing this is just the existing eight sets (and Bodysnatcher, maybe?) in a funky cardboard box.

    It had bloody better be, anyway. And if it is, well, Andrew can probably brace himself for another round of “Can I just buy the cardboard box off you? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”

    in reply to: Dark Ages on DVD #119318
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’d buy it for completeness’ sake, and so that I could write an article on it – but I wouldn’t spend more than a fiver on it.

    in reply to: Creaky Plots #119317
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Watching Stasis Leak last night… why are they so concerned with persuading people to go into stasis? Why don’t they just tell Kochanski/Rimmer/Petersen/whoever to stay on Ganymede on planet leave? Or better yet, warn the captain about the accident and try to prevent it happening?

    The planet leave thing could have been avoided if the ship was, say, more then three weeks away from stopping somewhere. But it’s quite clearly in orbit at the time they jump back to. So why can’t they come up with a better plan than either putting someone in stasis, or staying around for three weeks only to be killed?

    in reply to: Red Dwarf DVD Documentaries #119311
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    If Dwarfin’ USA doesn’t count, then… yeah, the last two. I’d waited SO. FUCKING. LONG. for a proper series II docco, and it didn’t disappoint.

    in reply to: Dark Ages on DVD #119240
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    The Strangerers isn’t that widely seen (I was lucky to find a torrent of it a while back). And it’s totally understandable why it was a flop – it shouldn’t have been a nine-part series. It should have been six at most – or better still, a feature-length one-off. The longer first episode is great, and there are some good bits littered throughout the series, but it just can’t sustain itself over that length.

    Still, though. Sarah Alexander.

    Anyway, all that’s for my soon (and by “soon”, I mean “probably never”)-to-be-done G&T article on the whole thing… ;-)

    in reply to: Dark Ages on DVD #119236
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    No idea. But I hope not. Because the idea of that atrocity being out on DVD, but The 10%ers and The Strangerers not, would make me too angry to bear.

    (not that The Strangerers is amazing, or anything, but I do have a well-publicised affection for it, to some extent)

    in reply to: Learning Japanese… #119163
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Pretentious, watashi?

    in reply to: Anyone living in London? #119087
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    (it’s worth bearing in mind, of course, that the amount you’ll pay per person exponentially decreases as you increase the number of bedrooms in a flat. If you can, going for a two- or three-bed place is by far the best. I’d never live in a one bed flat unless I was sharing it with someone.)

    in reply to: Anyone living in London? #119086
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Hm. I know me and Capps got a bit lucky with our place – which was ?1000pcm for a two-bed flat directly opposite a zone 3 tube station – but we were looking at other properties in the same area that were in roughly the same ballpark…

    in reply to: Anyone living in London? #119079
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >you might want to consider finding somewhere cheap to rent in Luton and commuting down

    Although if you’re going to commute, you might as well find somewhere nicer than Luton ;-)

    in reply to: Good news, everyone! #119064
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    all the negative comments from everyone on here are the ?direct? cause of my resignation from the club.

    Well, what do you know – we’re a force for good after all!

    in reply to: Anyone living in London? #119036
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    (although, as Dave says, it’s much easier to get actual jobs – as opposed to temp agencies – to pay attention to you if you’re already living there, rather than just saying “I’m planning to move soon”. I commute from Brighton at the moment, but I doubt I’d have got my job if I’d done that to start with)

    in reply to: Anyone living in London? #119035
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I moved down without a job, went round some agencies on the first weekday after moving on a Saturday, expecting to have to settle for some crappy temp work for a while. Had a completely demoralising day where the agencies were all crap with me, until I went into one at the last minute to see if they had anything. By the end of the day, I had my job with a telly writer’s agency.

    So, moving without a job can be done, but I don’t recommend it unless you’ve saved up at least a month’s worth of rent and food money beforehand. I just got lucky, but I wouldn’t wish the associated can’t-sleep-nervousness on anyone…

    in reply to: Anyone living in London? #119028
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    For somewhere decent, you’re looking at about ?100p/w minimum. Unless you go further out than zone 3, which – if you’re intending to work or socialise in the centre – I don’t recommend, because nobody will ever come and visit you.

    However, despite its flaws, living in London is GREAT.

    in reply to: Voyage of the Damned #118928
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’m not saying there isn’t plenty to criticise about New Who, because there is. But you can’t complain about it being a kids’ programme, or about Daleks flying, unless you’re complaining about things being that way in the original series as well…

    in reply to: Voyage of the Damned #118915
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Tonguetied, if you don’t know that Who was originally conceived as an educational family show, and indeed has always been aimed at kids and families; nor indeed that, as Ben points out, the Daleks have been able to fly or hover since the ’70s; then you really don’t know anywhere near enough about the show to start calling Russell’s decisions “sacrilege”, because he’s clearly a much bigger and more knowledgeable fan than you are.

    Also, fuck off.

    in reply to: Is this Ed Bye? #118892
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    No, it’s Christopher Eccleston.

    in reply to: New Red Dwarf Fanclub homepage layout… #118835
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Or indeed someone who gives one reason for not linking to other fansites on the site itself, and then two completely different reasons in general conversation.

    As Ian said on BTLi, its not like we feel we have some divine right to be linked to (hell, I think we’re standing up alright on our own – was the TORDFC site mentioned in the Times last week? ;-) ) – but it’s unprofessional to make up a completely bollocks and vague reason about “copyright”, and then give a completely different reason when challenged. Just… don’t mention it on the site at all, if that’s what you want. Otherwise, you’re just drawing attention to the fact that you’re deliberately not linking, which strikes me as somewhat petty.

    in reply to: New Red Dwarf Fanclub homepage layout… #118816
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Actually, here’s a serious question, as regards advertising the club – where on the site does it actually explain what your ?14 gets you? Surely that’s a pretty vital bit of information for prospective members?

    in reply to: New Red Dwarf Fanclub homepage layout… #118815
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Anyone can access the club site (it is, after all, supposed to be at least in part an advert to get people to join), but the forums are members only…

    in reply to: Voyage of the Damned #118769
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Danny : you can catch the theme in all its “glory”, and indeed the entirety of VOTD, here :

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/page/item/b008lyb2.shtml

    in reply to: New Red Dwarf Fanclub homepage layout… #118768
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I want to meet some fellow drawfers.

    in reply to: Take that BBC! #118752
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    This is the worst thing that humanity has ever produced.

    in reply to: Voyage of the Damned #118751
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Kylie… just wasn’t that great. She was fairly likeable, but I didn’t care enough about the character, and found her a bit wooden. I didn’t see any reason for it to be Kylie cast (aside from the star cachet… which appears to have worked if you look at the overnights) as opposed to someone with more in the way of recent acting experience.

    Still, I’d rather have had her survive and join him in the TARDIS than instead have the threat of Tate still hanging over our heads…

    in reply to: Voyage of the Damned #118745
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    This is going to look like I copied the format off you, but it was on my journal yesterday evening, so fuck you :p

    New theme tune… BAD
    Tennant… GOOD
    Kylie… BAD
    Poseidon Adventureness creating a genuine sense of peril… GOOD
    Underuse of Geoffrey Palmer… BAD
    Clive Swift… GOOD
    Max Quordlepleen… I mean, Capricorn… BAD (but… was he SUPPOSED to be channelling Davros?)
    Effects and stuff… GOOD
    The Queen and corgis… BAD
    Most of the other attempts at humour… GOOD
    The Superman-meets-Jesus flying bit… BAD
    That speech that started “Who am I?”… GOOD (Rachel hated this, which basically shows how those sorts of moments are wonderful if you buy into the myth of the Doctor, but less so if you’re still to be convinced)

    in reply to: OH MY CHRIST #118719
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    But in all seriousness, how can you be a Dwarf fan in particular and only just have seen it?

    “Wait… I… I don’t have your money… it’s in Bill’s house!”
    “Hey, what are you doing with my money in your house, Bill?”

    in reply to: Unexpected combinations #118708
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    They’re both two of the greatest British footballers of all time – Jimmy Greaves for Chelsea and Spurs (he was controversially dropped for the ’66 World Cup final… for Geoff Hurst), and Ian St John (who I’ve met when he did a book signing in the shop I worked in) for Liverpool. And then they got “re-famous” in the late eighties and early nineties for hosting football on ITV – and then Baddiel and Skinner took the piss out of them on Fantasy Football League for talking about non-Premier League football “as if it’s im…. portant”.

    So they’re among that curious category of people who are famous with two completely different generations for completely different things…

    in reply to: Christmas Telly #118696
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    “You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens? This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”

    in reply to: Doctor Who II #118690
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    After reading the Brooker piece on Saturday, I went and watched the Brand “Naziboy” documentary on Youtube. Bloody good it was, as well, and made me warm to him a lot more.

    His football column in the Grauniad is a bit rubbish, though – although I at least like the fact that he’s out there as someone who’s “alternative”, long-haired and somewhat fey, but quite publicly knowledgable about football.

    Andrew : on the subject of Boy A, did you see the recent Street ep that dealt with the same subject?

    in reply to: Christmas Telly #118679
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    ?Do you think her faithful fans could handle the shock??

    Bloody hell Seb, I love that movie but even I had to Google to work out what you were on about. (It?s Mallrats, people.)

    Yeah, everyone seems to know “All it took was a phat karate punch”, but not as many people are aware of that one, which I think is much funnier ;-)

    in reply to: Beowulf… 3d and not 3d #118618
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    TDK is going to be fucking fantastic, clearly.

    I like the suggestion that in the trailer, the Joker might not actually be talking to Batman…

    in reply to: NEW ZEALAND AD. #118613
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I’m not, but only because I blagged a review copy via Den of Geek (nb – I actually turned down Bodysnatcher in that form so that I could get it for Christmas, so I’m still doing my bit). I would probably have bought it at some point otherwise, though – I genuinely think it’s a good little thing to have. I’m far more likely to watch the smeg ups in that format than on the DVDs, anyway, and Robert is genuinely very funny in the links…

    in reply to: When is it best to get drunk alone? #118602
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Not wiggling your arse?

    in reply to: Christmas Telly #118596
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    “Do you think her faithful fans could handle the shock?”

    Of course, even without network edits, that film has its bad share of hastily-done ADR after an early plot point was completely cut out. The worst in terms of quality is “The mad fat chick killer”, but the worst in terms of making ABSOLUTELY NO NARRATIVE SENSE WHATSOEVER is the “Hey, aren’t you the guy that broke up with Brandi Svenning?” bloke…

    in reply to: Beowulf… 3d and not 3d #118584
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I?d never call Burton?s talent into question, but I?d be hard-pressed to name even one of his films that isn?t over-rated.

    As Andrew said – Ed Wood. If anything, it’s underrated – it’s an absolute masterpiece on every level, easily Burton’s best film, and it should have got Depp an Oscar (not that Landau’s wasn’t fully deserved).

    in reply to: Green Green Grass #118583
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Let’s face it, any show that isn’t sci-fi or a soap doesn’t really have to care about continuity, as it won’t have obsessive enough “fans” to care. I mean, given the age of Heartbeat’s target audience, do you think many of them remember what happened in it last week, let alone last year? It’s the same reason Roy Clarke can get away with doing the same storyline/jokes every week for the last twenty years.

    It’s like… there’s a constant gag about Midsomer Murders, and how it’s been running for so long that surely the village would have run out of people to get murdered – and that no-one would want to live there anyway. But someone at work pointed out to me that with that show, you’re not really meant to assume that all the stories follow on from one-another – instead, each murder should be treated as only one of a couple that have ever happened, rather than fifty-odd. If it were sci-fi, we’d probably put that down to parallel universes, or something. But the point is, most other long-running shows don’t conform to the rules that we’re used to expecting from sitcoms, sci-fi or soap.

    in reply to: When is it best to get drunk alone? #118547
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    There is far too much stigma attached to having a nice drink on your own.

    in reply to: Beowulf… 3d and not 3d #118511
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Andrew : I do quite fancy seeing it (mainly for the Gaiman connection), and IMAX would be an experience (saw Superman Returns in 3D there – incredible)… how long’s it on for? Is it likely to be gone after Christmas?

    in reply to: Green Green Grass #118501
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Superlative.

    in reply to: Beowulf… 3d and not 3d #118496
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    IT’S NEIL GAIMAN LA LA NOT LISTENING

    in reply to: Original Smegazine cover art on Ebay #118476
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Hey, I can’t help it if I’m devilishly attractive. That’s not a pose, just how I look all the time.

    in reply to: NEW ZEALAND AD. #118475
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Just quickly on the subject of Amazon (and the latest cretinous “review” of Bodysnatcher) – do you reckon that more than 50% of the reviews on there are by people who don’t actually own the items they’re “reviewing”?

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