News Of The World EXCLUSIVE

READ Craig’s heart-rending story.

WATCH as he tells all on-camera, which is the only reason you can actually trust this story.

GET SLIGHTLY DEPRESSED as you realise that you really found out all you needed to know about the whole sorry affair with Craig’s appearance at Dimension Jump, which also managed to be spiritually uplifting at the same time.

GO and have a wank to cheer yourself up.

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Craig: No Charges

So, Craig’s reported for bail, and been “let off“, then. As in: he’s escaped court, and instead got a police caution, in return for agreeing to go into rehab. All eminently sensible, obviously – there’s no point anything else happening. I wish we still had a statement from Craig about the whole thing – but let’s face it, we’ve only got a few days to go until we get one…

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