“What If…?”

[Podey]

Just seen news that Star Wars may be getting its own “What if…?” series. I’m sure there are probably threads amounting to the same already, but if you could pitch episodes for a Red Dwarf version, what plot points would you spin off in a different direction? Take it as read that “What if the crew survived” and “What if series 8 wasn’t shit” are already signed off. 

Ep 1: What if Lister, Cat and Kryten didn’t find the luck virus in Quarantine?

Unable to escape from their enclosure, Lister and Cat suffocate to death during 2 hours WOO and Rimmer eventually expires from the virus leaving Kryten stuck alone in bay 47, where he eventually goes insane and succumbs to droid rot several hundred years later. 

Note: there is a non-zero chance series is cancelled after one episode.

Topic

[Flap Jack]

Look, I don’t know how well done it would be, but you couldn’t have Red Dwarf: What If…? without What if Back to Reality wasn’t just a hallucination?

The most obvious story for this would be something derailing the group suicide, the gang then return to their previous lives for some stretch of time, eventually either orchestrating a secret escape or joining in with some sort of resistance.

Them forming a resistance is too obvious. I want to see it still as a sitcom, but a police work centered one with Jake Bullet as the main character. Seb Doyle would be the grumpy boss trying to get him to crack down on antifascist activists and such, forcing Jake and his goofy junior partner Duane to concoct hijinks in order to get away with either doing less morally dubious investigations or just goofing off. Billy Doyle is working at the station too as a nepotism hire, and he’s a fucking snitch who is always trying to follow Jake and Duane to catch them out, but due to his comic ineptitude always ends up in trouble himself instead.

What if… Rimmer didn’t resign his post on the Enlightenment and just left with them?

Hey… I already said that one.

I guess now we know why you’re not called Paragon Rob.

[Formica]

What if… the positive viruses Rimmer finds in the ruins of Starbug in Back in the Red aren’t Luck and Sexual Magnetism, but the other two that Kryten mentioned, Inspiration and Charisma?

Rimmer is inspired to draw hentai and is so charming when giving it to hollister and the painting is so good hollister gets so honry he lets them all go

[Renegade Rob]

Paragon Rob is my mirror universe opposite, but it’s fine because either of us can convince Saren to commit suicide, no despair ink needed. (I honestly forgot about your earlier What If…, apologies). 

Whether their old personalities return or not, I can imagine a sitcom of Sebastian Doyle, Billy Doyle, Jake Bullet, and Duane Dibbley on the run taking the general shape of an A-Team, but they’re not actually good at being the A-Team (the F-team). Or one of those 80’s shows where they’re on the run and drive from town to town, solving problems as they go (which Heat Vision and Jack parodied), with their driving evoking their Starbug/Carbug cockpit ensemble dynamic (although admittedly they hadn’t fully established that groove until after they lost Red Dwarf). Or if they’re caught and not summarily executed, they might get thrown together in prison, which would look less like Series VIII and more like Blackadder: the Dystopian Years.

[Warbodog]

Look, I don’t know how well done it would be, but you couldn’t have Red Dwarf: What If…? without What if Back to Reality wasn’t just a hallucination?
The most obvious story for this would be something derailing the group suicide, the gang then return to their previous lives for some stretch of time, eventually either orchestrating a secret escape or joining in with some sort of resistance.

The Smegazine got on it almost immediately for Dibbley and Bullet. A future Smegazine Rack will cover what reeeeeeeally happened with the suicide pact.

[Formica]

Them forming a resistance is too obvious.

I’ll remind the audience that I myself called the idea ‘obvious’, not ‘good’.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

What’s wrong with the obvious idea? I’d love to see Incompetent Earth-bound Blake’s 7.

[Renegade Rob]

There would need to be an episode where they get betrayed by their friends and family so we finally can see exactly what the fabulous prizes are for being a government informer.

[Dave]

If they form a Resistance then Lister can sing the Ohm song.

[Warbodog]

[tombow]

always thought a series with a hologram Kochanski and a live McGruder (retconned to be Rimmer’s actual ex, maybe she was in stasis because of a bar fight on RD or something) would be interesting. Let’s say McGruder is a slob hater who can’t stand Lister. Then Lister and Rimmer would have potential physical contact with each other’s loves, but never their own.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

always thought a series with a hologram Kochanski and a live McGruder (retconned to be Rimmer’s actual ex, maybe she was in stasis because of a bar fight on RD or something) would be interesting. Let’s say McGruder is a slob hater who can’t stand Lister. Then Lister and Rimmer would have potential physical contact with each other’s loves, but never their own.

I like this dynamic.

[Renegade Rob]

Sounds like they’re one Bodyswap and a quattro formaggi pizza away from that not really being a problem. 

[Author]

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