I know this isn’t really a G&T-type topic…

[si]

…and I don’t normally watch EastEnders, but I just have to say:

DARREN?!!

I thought it would be none of the four featured, and that someone like Nick Cotton would walk through the door.

Topic

[Tarka Dal]

Your ex-husband Darren, my business rival!? What are you telling me Bromley?

[Joey TORDFC]

I didn’t think Darren would ever cheat on Libby, they’re so cute. Plus, the bad boy led Libby to believe they were losing their virginity together when he’d already given Heather a ‘special cuddle’. Eww.

[Tarka Dal]

Wasn’t established at DJ that the phrase for that kind of behaviour is ‘Naughty Cuddles’?

[genericnerdyusername]

You know the deal about Eastenders; if you want to talk about it you have to put on a spacesuit and do it in outer space.

[Gwynnie]

Hahahahha. naughty cuddles. I still love it.

[TheLeen]

What have I done…

[si]

I is wanting ‘Naughty Cuddles’.

*waits for ‘Junior Angler’ line*

[Carlito]

EastEnders has lost the plot.

The whole Danielle storyline seriously disturbed me in its horrific bleakness. I barely have time for the show since, and this new storyline just solidifies my stance. They’re going for the sensational over the sensical.

Okay, its a soap, nobody wants it to be realistic. Tens of people don’t die unnaturally young on the same street in a 25 year period, weddings and funerals don’t generally take place at Christmas, working class people don’t go off on several month long holidays every year, people don’t move house and end up living back in the same street several years later for no reason… you accept indiscretions such as these because its a soap and it would be pretty boring if it just followed real life, but there has to be some line you draw where you think “this would never, ever happen”. And even if it COULD, doesn’t mean it should. I see no entertainment value in Darren being the father. I see no entertainment value in the Heather character anyway.

I think it’s time for exec producer Diederick Santer to go. For all the hits he’s had (the Mitchell sisters, Archie, Brannings) there has been a pile of crap.

[si]

Can anyone think back to February as to a time when this heinous act could have possibly happened?

[Carlito]

I remember the night Heather got preggers, in the club. She’d been unknowingly set up by Shirley with a male escort and had been having a nice date and the guy seemed to like her, but then she found out Shirley has paid him and went nuts (even though it actually turns out it wasnt the escort she had been having a drink with). Then she went nuts coz that yoghurt pot lid she’d stolen from George Michael’s bin went missing, and some mystery dude went into the toilet, found her crying and gave her back her yoghurt pot lid… and then boffed her, allegedly. As you do.

How the fuck Darren ended up being that yoghurt pot dude makes zero sense.

[Ouroboros]

sorry im off topic here, but just amending a fanfic of mine nd need help-

does anyone know aprox what year Red Dwarf drifted into deep space after the radiation leek? i know lister is quoted to being a “23rd century guy” …

[ori-STUDFARM]

According to http://reddwarf.wikia.com/wiki/Dave_Lister (so it must be true)

>……the adult Lister traveled back in time to leave his baby self under a pool table in the Aigburth Arms pub in Liverpool in the year 2155, thereby completing a predestination paradox. His official birthday was14 October,

He was 25 in Future Echoes so according to that, 2180 would be roughly right…..However, I know that we get inconsistencies throughout…he refers to himself as an “enlightened 23rd Century guy” in DNA and Stasis Leak gives the year of 2077……I think…..

Personally, I’d go for 25th Century in keeping with Red Dwarf traditions of making it up. :)

[Ouroboros]

awesome thanks man, ill go with the Aighburth Arms version, since its probably the most recentently invented, and i guess decided upon by doug. =D

[ori-STUDFARM]

I’d double check. I’ve got a VERY bad history when it comes to “Red Dwarf” and “Facts”. Thats why I always try to name the source of the info now. Try and shift the blame a little…

[Plastic Percy]

If it helps, the novels set Red Dwarf’s disappearence in 2181 I believe.

Have they ever shown Darren and Heather even interacting before? I can’t think of anytimes when the two characters would have crossed paths. Darren mainly has storylines with the Foxes wheras Heather is usually in storylines with Minty or the Mitchell clan.

[peas_and_corn]

It’s probably based in the 21st, 22nd or 23rd centuries.

Maybe 24th, to be safe.

[Ian Symes]

Hello and welcome, Ouroboros. In future, if you want to ask something that isn’t being discussed elsewhere, please start a new thread rather than changing the topic in another. Not that I particularly care about Eastenders, but it’s the principle of the matter…

[Ouroboros]

the 24th is probs Krytens era, and i think it best to place him at least a century ahead. but i aint gona give it much more thought. star trek gets away with inconsistant stardates because of warp travel, maybe LS in the dwarf universe has the same efect …..

[Ouroboros]

Thanks for the welcome, and sorry to spoil the thread. I’ll start a new next time, cheers.

[Ian Symes]

What a nice guy…

[Danny Stephenson]

What’s LS?

[Ouroboros]

“Light Speed” -says Talkie Toaster.

“Smart Arse” -reply’s lister.

-Future Echoes: 00:17:35

[Danny Stephenson]

I didn’t realise that question was going to be taken so literally. :)

I did know, mate. We do this often.

[Ouroboros]

no shit lol. just thought id be a “smart arse”- hmmmmmm i now want some TOAST :)

[ori-STUDFARM]

How ’bout a muffin?

[Ouroboros]

jus as long as it aint blueberry :-x yak “just like Martha used to make”

pmsl did anyone notice it was a ‘tesco’ mufin rimmer had, there must be a Tesco Express on JMC Freighters ….

[si]

>jus as long as it aint blueberry :-x yak ?just like Martha used to make?

I hear Rose and Donna used to make some excellent donuts and cherry bakewells.

[Ouroboros]

im a waffle man myself

[hummingbird]

*reaches for a large polo mallet*

[JamesTC]

>I hear Rose and Donna used to make some excellent donuts and cherry bakewells.

Peri had the best cherry bakewells.

[Ouroboros]

Ace had the best smoked kippers for breakfast

[Pete Part Three]

How are we doing with that polo mallet?

[Dave]

>How are we doing with that polo mallet?

They use it to knock the middles out.

[si]

Zoe Heriot in the glittery silver jumpsuit. Yum.

[Carlito]

> I think it?s time for exec producer Diederick Santer to go.

Aaaaaand, done!

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/soaps/s2/eastenders/news/a184853/kirkwood-replaces-santer-as-enders-exec.html

[Joey TORDFC]

Please do not taint the Eastenders thread with your talk of Red Dwarf. Where do you think you are? :(

[Author]

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