Things about Red Dwarf that make you irrationally angry

[GlenTokyo]

I’ve just been going through some Red Dwarf and rewatching bits and bobs and I was reminded of all the things about Red Dwarf that make me irrationally angry.

Red Dwarf VII is particularly bad for this, although overall I think it’s not bad at all and is sometimes some of the better post Rob Red Dwarf and I’m usually quite kind to it, but what the actual fuck.

Absolute cluster fuck haha.. how big is Starbug supposed to be? 200% expansion or whatever right? So if that’s everywhere that’ll be why they’ve made the windows smaller. Seems about right, they’re probably half the size as before, but the air lock door is the same size, and not only that, in Xtended they stuck another door on that makes Starbug look even smaller than it did originally.

Don’t even get me started on the landing bay that, even if you subscribe to the opinion that Starbug has changed size in a TARDIS like dimensional anomaly sci-fi fashion like me, has no outer access. It doesn’t even fit with the outer shape of the ship considering it has to be in the top of the ship, so it’s either where the engine cut out is, where the bunkrooms are, or where the cockpit is. Which it obviously isn’t. Sort it out Doug man.

Also why so many ducts. Whoever designed that craft is a cretin. Get a Aircon engineer to go over the design and it’ll be palacial. Fuck me, miles of 6×4 foot ducting in a shuttle.

Time drive, I’m with that bloke that complained to Ed.

Sure, it’s made up, but if we care about it, shouldn’t the people that make it? Obviously the convention attendee was a bit of a dick if he wasn’t fictional, but he’s got a point.

In fact I don’t like VII anymore. I’m just angry about it now.

What are some things about Red Dwarf that make you irrationally angry?

Fans ranting on the internet? Craig saying every series is some of their best work despite at least one series being utter shite? People that call Back to Earth series IX even though it patently isn’t? The fact that the Emohawk gave the Cat free dental work and a new hairdo and nobody said anything?

Topic

[Warbodog]

Remastered was offensive. Especially since the deletion of the not-even-that-old 1-6 video releases (which may even have been unrelated?) made it feel like a permanent replacement, despite Doug explicitly saying it wasn’t on the later documentary.

On the bright side, it was an excuse to rerun series 1-3 on BBC2, which I hadn’t even seen most of at the time (but was still annoyed I wasn’t seeing the originals of, obviously).

Is remastered still the standard for foreign language audiences, like the Czech Republic and Japan? I guess the new HD remaster will replace those, and maybe they’ll find the undone changes weird and bothersome after so long?

[flanl3]

Timewave, and the IX thing. And [insert random G&T admin or former admin that I’d like to insult tonight here].

[flanl3]

It’s going to be John Hoare.

John Hoare makes me irrationally angry.

[Warbodog]

Not angry, but some things that have always made me cringe or feel uncomfortable pre-VII (not counting budget-excusable effects and such):

– Kryten singing the ‘Androids’ theme
– Kryten saying “smee heeeeeeeee” in Quarantine
– Kryten in Marooned, but that’s taken as read
– Human-Kryten laughing in DNA and the laugh echoing, gave me an actual chill the first couple of times
– The serious talking-over-each-other bit at the start of DNA, before Cat saves it
– The no-effort waitress in Backwards
– Emile Charles being an unconvincing Lister in Timeslides, but that’s probably general too
– I feel sorry for Gandhi in Meltdown
– Duane Dibbley in Emohawk, obv

[Warbodog]

+ Dog and Arlene Rimmer. I forgot about Parallel Universe, because I consider it VIII tier.

[Dave]

People who don’t realise that Back To Earth is Series IX.

[Pete Part Three]

I’m watching Red Dwarf VIII at the moment. I now can’t remember a time when I wasn’t angry about this show.

[bloodteller]

The Red Dwarf Shuffle from Backwards makes me cringe

[Jawscvmcdia]

>I’m watching Red Dwarf VIII at the moment. I now can’t remember a time when I wasn’t angry about this show.

Which episode?

[Bargain Bin Holly]

The general fan reaction to Timewave; it’s mediocre but its not as bad as people want to believe it is.

Whenever someone approaches Doug Naylor’s work with the mindset it’ll be shittier cause Rob Grant isn’t involved. That pigheadedness gets old real quick.

[Dave]

The Red Dwarf Shuffle from Backwards makes me cringe

It’s funny, there’s loads of stuff in the show that can feel a bit naff for adult viewers, but which plays completely differently when you watch it with a younger audience.

I watch Red Dwarf quite a lot with my kids now, and we just watched Backwards again a few nights ago – they loved the Red Dwarf Shuffle bit, and it made me think that it actually puts a nice cap on the scene of Lister and Cat being stupid and being so pleased with themselves about it.

Similarly, my daughter’s most-requested episodes are Parallel Universe (so she can watch Tongue Tied) and Back To Reality for the slapstick car chase hallucination bit (which I don’t think anyone thinks is bad, but which is a bit more in the direction of broad physical comedy than the show usually goes). “Speed bumps” always has her in stitches.

[clem]

The Series IX thing.

> The fact that the Emohawk gave the Cat free dental work and a new hairdo and nobody said anything?

I’ve seen this mentioned a few times, and Rimmer transforming into Ace as well, but nobody asks where Rimmer’s facial hair comes from in Polymorph. Is he meant to have stuck on a little false beard to go with the glasses and pipe etc?

[Warbodog]

>Rimmer’s facial hair

He’s a hologram who can order hairstyles etc. at will. The stupid thing in Polymorph is how the Polymorph works on a hologram. Sucked his light bee, I guess.

>Kids watching Red Dwarf say the funniest things

My eight-year-old brother screamed with laughter when the Grim Reaper showed up in Only the Good. He only found Kryten’s period banner mildly amusing though, explaining that the joke was “it’s supposed to be ‘Have a Fantastic Present.'”

[clem]

Of course, he’s still soft light in Polymorph so I guess he must have asked Holly to make him look like that. Or she did it for her own amusement.

[clem]

Sorry Warbodog. Posted before I saw your reply.

[clem]

“it’s supposed to be ‘Have a Fantastic Present.’”

Excellent. Doesn’t he ask what the tampon is though?

[bloodteller]

bad FX shots always annoy me. the awful VII CGI starbug is the worst offender, since it appears in every fucking episode even when they evidently had plenty of lovely model shots they could’ve used instead (see the extras on the VII DVD) Also the majority of the Remastered CGI shots. absolutely awful.

other annoying FX shots include the External Enforcer in Emohawk, the dinosaur crashing through the wall leaving a dinosaur-shaped hole in Pete Part 2 and the shot of the Canaries approaching the Manny Celeste in Pete Part 1 too- it doesn’t look bad, but they’ve plastered a big ugly unnecessary caption over the shot that gives exposition that Kryten literally explains 2 seconds later anyway. also that one in Krysis where they head towards the SIU station. would’ve been fine but the starfield background they used is a pain to look at

[bloodteller]

the moon greenscreen in Timewave is shit, too. why does it look that bad?

[Warbodog]

That was in 1999, so difficult to check now. I watched a lot of adult comedy at that age too and much of it will have gone over my head. The Day Today was on when I was 8, but the only parts of that I really got and enjoyed were Peter O’hanrahahanrahan’s name and a news report about a helicopter pilot losing control and almost hitting “a field of children looking for worms” and “an old woman up a stick,” I loved the phrasing of it and whispered it to my friend in assembly on Monday through stifled giggles.

[Pete Part Three]

> “Speed bumps” always has her in stitches.

I *hate* that Robert slightly stands for this bit, rather than bouncing like the rest of them. I also hate that the Cat Priest moves his leg after dying in Waiting For God, and that Craig clearly re-positions himself on the medibed so he can collapse comfortably when Kryten injects him in Polymorph.

[Pete Part Three]

Fuck the actors, is what I’m saying. Art is pain.

[curtis]

Kryten calling himself ‘2X4C’ in Beyond a Joke.

[Taiwan Tony]

Back to Reality coming top of everything and Johnny Vegas. (Though I feel this is rational.)

[Dave]

Kids watching Red Dwarf say the funniest things

That wasn’t really how my post was meant to come across. I didn’t mean to be a bore in that way.

I was just trying to say that the show works on lots of different levels and different audiences with different tastes/ages will find different things to enjoy in it.

Anything vaguely rude or complicated goes over my kids’ heads so it tends to be the silly and slapstick stuff that works for them.

[Warbodog]

I started out replying in the same vein, then warped the conversation to my own ends for the second time this thread.

[Ian Symes]

The general fan reaction to Timewave; it’s mediocre but its not as bad as people want to believe it is.

People who belittle fellow fans’ opinions, or assume some sort of motive behind them, just because they disagree with them.

[flanl3]

I am much more fine with people calling Back to Earth the ninth series than “series IX”, one is a debatably correct trait and the other is an incorrect name.

I typically can’t stand people who claim that “modern Red Dwarf is just a parody of itself”, but it makes me angry that I have to concede that if I were making a parody of Red Dwarf, especially modern Red Dwarf, it would probably look quite a bit like Timewave.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

<block quote> I *hate* that Robert slightly stands for this bit, rather than bouncing like the rest of them. I also hate that the Cat Priest moves his leg after dying in Waiting For God, and that Craig clearly re-positions himself on the medibed so he can collapse comfortably when Kryten injects him in Polymorph

High Kryten not being dragged far enough behind the boxes in the cargo bay so you can see Robert move his leg to stand up

[Pete Part Three]

I say Red Dwarf IX, you say Back to Earth.

Let’s call the whole thing off.

(As they should have done, during pre-production)

[International Debris]

Ace and Dwayne Dibbley in Emohawk. Most of VIII, although the Blue Midget dance and Reservoir Dogs in particular. Stardisbug in VII. People thinking Tikka to Ride is actually a watchable episode.

[GlenTokyo]

Carbug was utter shite and the fact that so many people like it just says it all.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

People who belittle fellow fans’ opinions, or assume some sort of motive behind them, just because they disagree with them.

U wot m8

[Ben Saunders]

>Kryten singing the Androids theme
Why?!
>Human-Kryten laughing in DNA and the laugh echoing, gave me an actual chill the first couple of times
Lmao

>Kryten calling himself ‘2X4C’ in Beyond a Joke.
That really is beyond a fucking joke. It was written -by- Kryten!

The Polymorph affecting a soft-light hologram in III has always been questionable to me. Did his lightbee just happen to be in the perfect position at that moment? Tikka to Ride is more than watchable, it’s one of the best episodes.

When I was young my brother showed me Only The Good after downloading it from Limewire, playing it in Windows Movie Player. He skipped over the fantastic period bit because I was 8 or something and he thought I shouldn’t see that bit. He probably unknowingly made me appreciate the joke more because by the time I actually saw that part I was old enough to know why it was funny. A lot of stuff in Red Dwarf I just sort of take for granted because I watched it so much as a kid that it’s burned into my consciousness, I think.

As far as things that annoy me, probably people who act as if VII and VIII have absolutely -no- redeeming qualities, or are just blatantly not funny across the board. I’m not going to say they have some sort of agenda that makes them say these things, I just don’t agree. Also people criticising the “we’ve got to stop them” bit in Krytie TV for being offensive, and people treating Lister like some moral paragon who can/should do no wrong, because of one or two speeches in Series IV.

Also the Epideme voice. Ugh.

[Ben Saunders]

Although the “pouring blue stuff on things in tight white jeans” line had me baffled until we discussed it on here earlier in the year, so much so that at one point I thought period blood must be blue (because of the misconception that blood is blue in your veins until exposed to air)

[Bargain Bin Holly]

people treating Lister like some moral paragon who can/should do no wrong

People would flip their shit if Timeslides happened today. Lister wiping Kryten, Cat, and his people from existence is arguably a wee bit worse than Lister being the bystander of a woman falling into an airlock and pressing the eject button.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

Correction – Kryten still exists he’s just marooned on the Nova-5 again

[Pete Part Three]

>He probably unknowingly made me appreciate the joke more because by the time I actually saw that part I was old enough to know why it was funny.

I’m suddenly saddened that I didn’t watch Only the Good in the short period of my adolescence between not understanding the joke, and understanding the joke and finding it infantile.

>People would flip their shit if Timeslides happened today.

The only thing that people would “flip their shit” about Timeslides now, is the casual retcon of Rimmer’s death. Cat not existing for ten minutes because Lister didn’t think that far ahead, doesn’t really compare to the casual indifference he shows when a shittily written female character is killed off.

[bloodteller]

>Also people criticising the “we’ve got to stop them” bit in Krytie TV for being offensive

People were offended by that? I thought it was really funny tbh

>people treating Lister like some moral paragon who can/should do no wrong, because of one or two speeches in Series IV.

True- people complaining about some of his more cruel behaviour (e.g. Entangled) ought to note that in Me2 he happily eats popcorn and sniggers at a video of the entire crew’s death, which is borderline sociopathic. He also states in VI the only reason he isn’t allowing Kryten to commit suicide is because he doesn’t want to have to do his own laundry, which is rather nasty.

The ending to Entangled is still shit, mind you. I just don’t think it’s that out-of-character.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

Cat not existing for ten minutes because Lister didn’t think that far ahead, doesn’t really compare to the casual indifference he shows when a shittily written female character is killed off.

Well here’s the thing, the reason Lister did what he did cause he didn’t think far ahead is an assumption that’s never made clear in the episode. What is made clear is Lister is being selfish and completely self-centered to the point he’d steal a guy’s invention so he could bugger off to his mansion and extinguish his Cuban cigars in ashtrays of Om. In the end he doesn’t face any consequences for this, so really Lister was a complete cunt the entire episode and got off scot-free. Still a funny episode tho.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

Plus had Rimmer not done something Cat would’ve not existed for all eternity, a bit longer than ten minutes mind you.

[Plastic Percy]

Kryten’s fall from the gantry in ‘Camille’.

In the first shot it looks rubbish because only his legs are sticking over the edge of the gantry slightly, then in the next shot he’s clearly standing on a black box and rather limply holding onto a piece of railing. At no point does it look like he’s holding on for dear life.

[Pete Part Three]

Shit editing. Just watched Cassandra. There’s a bit where Rimmer says “No way, No way am I joining the Canaries”, and there’s a rubbish attempt at a “You’ll never get me on that bicycle” smash-cut as a badly executed edit abruptly shows the crew in a row in Canary uniforms. It’s so badly done that I checked the deleted scenes and was not remotely surprised that there was additional dialogue after this.

[International Debris]

To be fair, Lister behaves that way because he’s exceptionally depressed at being practically alone in the universe and is desperate to get something resembling a life back. I think most people would do the same.

In Entangled he watches a woman die without showing even a hint of remorse or even interest. For no particular reason. They’re different situations.

Also, his character is very clearly developed to become much more sympathetic over the course of the show, which is why later examples of him being a cunt are more jarring and uncomfortable. I always found the ‘I’m not going my own smegging laundry’ line a bit difficult, but at the same time I think it’s at least partially jokey anyway.

[Ben Saunders]

I didn’t intend to start another debate about the ending of Entangled lmao, I think we can all agree that that particular moment is at least a bit shit. I was talking more in general, with the “we’ve got to stop him” scene being one I do remember specifically.

Another anti-Lister being a good man is swallowing Rimmer at the end of Meltdown, which comes immediately after one of his big moral speeches interestingly enough. You could argue that Rimmer deserved it, if you wanted to.

[bloodteller]

Rimmer did deserve it- he had just wiped out the population of an entire planet, killing hundreds of innocent people, and yet didn’t show even the slightest bit of remorse over it.

[Dave]

Although arguably his personality was warped by Lister chewing his light bee in the first place.

[(deleted)]

People who are still incandescent about VII and VIII, and the idea that somebody might enjoy them, 20+ years later even though there have been 21 new episodes since with the exact U-turn in tone/style that they begged for.

[bloodteller]

Spitonawrist makes me pretty angry

[Bargain Bin Holly]

Spitonawrist makes me pretty angry

That would be pretty irrational

[clem]

Jokes-wise it’s the feeble “Sister” Talia misunderstanding that really blackens my shite.

[Author]

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