Things about Red Dwarf that make you irrationally angry

[GlenTokyo]

I’ve just been going through some Red Dwarf and rewatching bits and bobs and I was reminded of all the things about Red Dwarf that make me irrationally angry.

Red Dwarf VII is particularly bad for this, although overall I think it’s not bad at all and is sometimes some of the better post Rob Red Dwarf and I’m usually quite kind to it, but what the actual fuck.

Absolute cluster fuck haha.. how big is Starbug supposed to be? 200% expansion or whatever right? So if that’s everywhere that’ll be why they’ve made the windows smaller. Seems about right, they’re probably half the size as before, but the air lock door is the same size, and not only that, in Xtended they stuck another door on that makes Starbug look even smaller than it did originally.

Don’t even get me started on the landing bay that, even if you subscribe to the opinion that Starbug has changed size in a TARDIS like dimensional anomaly sci-fi fashion like me, has no outer access. It doesn’t even fit with the outer shape of the ship considering it has to be in the top of the ship, so it’s either where the engine cut out is, where the bunkrooms are, or where the cockpit is. Which it obviously isn’t. Sort it out Doug man.

Also why so many ducts. Whoever designed that craft is a cretin. Get a Aircon engineer to go over the design and it’ll be palacial. Fuck me, miles of 6×4 foot ducting in a shuttle.

Time drive, I’m with that bloke that complained to Ed.

Sure, it’s made up, but if we care about it, shouldn’t the people that make it? Obviously the convention attendee was a bit of a dick if he wasn’t fictional, but he’s got a point.

In fact I don’t like VII anymore. I’m just angry about it now.

What are some things about Red Dwarf that make you irrationally angry?

Fans ranting on the internet? Craig saying every series is some of their best work despite at least one series being utter shite? People that call Back to Earth series IX even though it patently isn’t? The fact that the Emohawk gave the Cat free dental work and a new hairdo and nobody said anything?

Topic

[Moonlight]

Where the fuck is the Series X nameplate shot supposed to show? That’s CLEARLY not the front of the ship.

[GlenTokyo]

>Where the fuck is the Series X nameplate shot supposed to show? That’s CLEARLY not the front of the ship.

Oh God. Don’t get me started on Dave Dwarf model shots. That, the tiny Starbug legs, the absent engines from the full ship bigature (which would be fine if they didn’t do shots where you should be able to see the engines and can’t), the paintjob on Starbug, the new Starbug in general.

[Moonlight]

The Dave model shoots really come across as haphazard and amateur.

[International Debris]

Despite the huge disappointment of the Dave model shots, only two aspects of them fully bother me: the really bad lighting, and that weird nameplate bigature thing.

[bloodteller]

>Where the fuck is the Series X nameplate shot supposed to show? That’s CLEARLY not the front of the ship.

Yes it is, that’s why there’s the nameplate on it

[GlenTokyo]

Unless Red Dwarf is a Borg cube, that’s not the front of Red Dwarf.

[Warbodog]

Calling the Space Corps ‘Star Fleet’ and Rimmer being a third technician in Last Human are very annoying, but only when I’m actually reading the book once every 20 years. It’s such basic stuff that I can’t fathom how Doug could forget what he/Rob created, or why he’d deliberately change Space Corps to something less distinctive and already popularly baggsied by Star Trek.

[bloodteller]

>Unless Red Dwarf is a Borg cube, that’s not the front of Red Dwarf.

why not? i’m not trying to be obtuse or anything, i just genuinely don’t see the problem people have with it. it’s clearly meant to be the front of the ship, given the massive nameplate “Red Dwarf”which exists nowhere else on the ship.

[Ben Saunders]

It’s too flat and doesn’t really look like the other model

[Pete Part Three]

[GlenTokyo]

>why not? i’m not trying to be obtuse or anything, i just genuinely don’t see the problem people have with it. it’s clearly meant to be the front of the ship, given the massive nameplate “Red Dwarf”which exists nowhere else on the ship.

I don’t think anyone doubts that it’s supposed to be the front of the ship, it’s just that it so obviously isn’t. It’s like if I bought 3 footballs, painted them green, stuck them together and wrote Starbug on the side, we know it’s supposed to be Starbug, but it isn’t.

It’s obviously a big rectangle, and given the size of the nameplate on the model (quite small), you would be able to see the tapezoid shape of the nose cone of Red Dwarf if it were correctly scaled.

[International Debris]

i’m not trying to be obtuse or anything, i just genuinely don’t see the problem people have with it. it’s clearly meant to be the front of the ship

How??

[GlenTokyo]

Is how it would need to look (assuming that code works) for it to believably be the front of the ship, and that’s before you even get in to the complete lack of matching greebling around it.

[tombow]

i wish when Lister lost his arm at the end of XII they gave him the robot arm

[Bargain Bin Holly]

Calling the Space Corps ‘Star Fleet’ and Rimmer being a third technician in Last Human are very annoying

How many kilograms of bricks did you shit when Rimmer said ‘Star Fleet’ in Back to Earth?

[tombow]

Cat always has bowl hair when it is not gelled up. His teeth naturally stick out but he always wears a brace to keep them in. And, he always carries practical clothes because deep down he knows he may need them. When Polymorph bites him, he messes his hair down, takes the brace out and gets changed.

[Warbodog]

>How many kilograms of bricks did you shit when Rimmer said ‘Star Fleet’ in Back to Earth?

Somehow didn’t notice that being off. ‘Lord’ makes it sound like he’s talking about some different, elite, possibly made-up organisation to the Space Corps we’ve seen, whereas Last Human just used Space Corps/Star Fleet interchangeably (I think). It was back to Space Corps by Trojan anyway.

Hollister also mentions the ‘Space Federation’ during the Back in the Red trial, whatever that means. That should probably annoy me too, but it’s in Back in the Red so it doesn’t stand a chance.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

>Cat always has bowl hair when it is not gelled up. His teeth naturally stick out but he always wears a brace to keep them in. And, he always carries practical clothes because deep down he knows he may need them. When Polymorph bites him, he messes his hair down, takes the brace out and gets changed.

Where do his canines go though?

[Dave]

If Cat has canines, does Dog from Parallel Universe have felines?

[Bargain Bin Holly]

>If Cat has canines, does Dog from Parallel Universe have felines?

Here’s something that annoys me (Not makes me irrationally angry tho), whenever in the early scenes they had another felis sapien that wasn’t the Cat they never gave them canines. The Cat Priest and the Cat-Polymorph, the Priest gets away with it cause maybe they fell out from old age but the Cat-Polymorph I never even knew was a felis sapien till I read Better Than Life.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

*early episodes

[Ridley]

>Where do his canines go though?

Calcium Heaven

[Lily]

>Cat-Polymorph I never even knew was a felis sapien

Wait. What?

[Dave]

In the show, I don’t think she is.

[GlenTokyo]

Frances Barber? Didn’t even know she was supposed to be a cat. Thought she was just an attractive woman.

[Moonlight]

I don’t think she was supposed to be a cat.

[Pete Part Three]

>the Cat-Polymorph I never even knew was a felis sapien till I read Better Than Life.

Not sure how you reached that conclusion. She’s described as a “girl” in Better Than Life.

[Hamish]

So does the Polymorph lack imagination or does Cat just prefer things cross-species?

[Jawscvmcdia]

“That pays for the hat, now what about the insult?”
“Okay, you’re a fat, bearded git with breath… [LAUGHS]”

[International Debris]

So does the Polymorph lack imagination or does Cat just prefer things cross-species?

Given his being attracted to other human women (plus the scene in the Backwards novel), I don’t think he’s fussed. But it’s also worth pointing out that nowhere is Genny Mutant ever described as <i>human</i>. In my head she’s a cat.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

Cat wanted to fuck Lister at one point, plus he thought the Simulant in Justice was Barbara Bellini

[Moonlight]

He took back that wanting to fuck Lister as soon as he realized it was Lister, so I don’t think it counts.

[Paul Muller]

[Paul Muller]

1. G&T having an edit button on their forum posts which doesn’t actually let you edit the post.

2. My continued inability to properly post Red Dwarf related images on this forum.

3. Realising after 25-odd years that the original Red Dwarf model was completely assymetrical, with only one name plate.

4. Series VIII

[Dax101]

The images code is

[Dax101]

< img src=”http://i65.tinypic.com/2yvpd8k.jpg&#8221; >

[Hamish]

> The images code is

…a source of endless frustration.

[GlenTokyo]

<ïmg src=”whatever.jpg”> innit? But with a normal “I” obviously.

[Ben Saunders]

>He took back that wanting to fuck Lister as soon as he realized it was Lister, so I don’t think it counts.
That’s a nice excuse.

[Rushy]

Probably not original, but I never fully got over the Series II > III hump. I felt series II was the show at its creative peak. And while I’ve adored many subsequent episodes and appreciate the need for evolution, I still think it was a mistake to abandon that format/style. 

The Dave era partially rectifies this, which is why I have a particular soft spot for it, but it’s not close to being the same. 

To me, Rimmer belongs in a JMC outfit, Lister belongs in a ratty version of a JMC outfit. Norman Lovett as Holly is essential. And they should be very lonely, barely able to fly a spaceship (they’re vending machine repairmen, and astronavigation is Rimmer’s worst nightmare), living purely off of the nostalgia and the delusions they’ve created to spend time. And the occasional weird space phenomena. 

[International Debris]

There are two versions of Red Dwarf I’d love to see: one is VIII, had Doug had the confidence to continue with his more dramatic populated sci-fi universe vision, and the other is the show carrying on with the series 2 style. There are stories that could carry on mostly unchanged – Bodyswap, Timeslides, The Last Day, DNA, Dimension Jump, Holoship – but obviously many that would never have happened in that format. But I think it’d be fascinating to see how they responded to the demand of letting the show grow while sticking more rigidly to their initial ideas.

[Moonlight]

Red Dwarf and The Simpsons are both shows where I’d kill for alternate branches that develop on qualities of the first two seasons that sort of fell off as they evolved into their most famous incarnations.

[Rushy]

Replacing the filmed ending of series 8 with the Grim Reaper nonsense. 

The ending where they all dance in a conga line and Rimmer salutes Hollister goodbye is genuinely one of my favourite moments in Red Dwarf. It’s like a wholesome Star Wars celebration at the end of the series VI-VIII journey. They’ve finally got the ship back to themselves, and they’re all happy together. Lister’s got Kochanski. Kochanski’s not uptight anymore. Rimmer let go of wanting to become an officer. Kryten’s ironing in the background. It’s a wonderful ending.

[Technopeasant]

Just a shame it means leaving hundreds to near certain death.

Granted, Red Dwarf probably did not have the resources to sustain a revived crew long term, especially after millions of years of the stores being raided by the cat people. They don’t have replicators and so should probably have picked a S3 planet and start farming.

[clem]

Red Dwarf probably did not have the resources to sustain a revived crew long term, especially after millions of years of the stores being raided by the cat people. They don’t have replicators and so should probably have picked a S3 planet and start farming. 

I imagine that as well as resurrecting the crew and rebuilding the ship to its original design, as stated in BITR, the nanobots would have also restocked the cargo decks.

Just a shame it means leaving hundreds to near certain death.

If Doug had thought of the bio-printer back then, perhaps that would have been a more palatable way to bring back the crew and then get rid of them at the end of the series. 

[Rushy]

It is morbidly funny to rewatch Lister’s interactions with Hollister in the first episode, hearing Lister say that he respects his captain, only to realise that a decade later, he’s going to strand Hollister in deep space with a song and a dance.

[Technopeasant]

I imagine that as well as resurrecting the crew and rebuilding the ship to its original design, as stated in BITR, the nanobots would have also restocked the cargo decks.

Provided they had the raw material to work with then perhaps. Either way though, no chance to resupply.

If Doug had thought of the bio-printer back then, perhaps that would have been a more palatable way to bring back the crew and then get rid of them at the end of the series.

I have actually heard people head canon that the nano clones did have a limited shelf life, which is why they aren’t heard from again.

[Warbodog]

I have actually heard people head canon that the nano clones did have a limited shelf life, which is why they aren’t heard from again.

Since Holly made the nanobots that made them (between scenes in Nanarchy, somehow), that would be a feasible error on his part, if it actually had any basis in anything.

[Hamish]

If the nano-bots are capable of restocking supplies, does that mean by Kryten’s time, humans had achieved a post scarcity economy?

[sleepey]

If there’s infinite Coke then that means they’ve also achieved immortality

[Author]

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