Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum What would the post-Rob Grant episodes be like if Rob rewrote them?

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    Discuss now.


    You go first.


    I think he would combine three episodes into one, though.


    ONLY THE GOOD- a chameleonic microbe sneaks onboard and starts painfully eating away rimmer’s flesh, making him suffer pain beyond pain. a million agonies. with only hours to live- and whilst in horrific pain during these few hours, lest we forget- can they cross over into a mirror universe and find a cure? no.


    >I think he would combine three episodes into one, though.

    Well thats kinda what Doug already does.

    Id hope if he Co-Wrote that there would be a voice that said… Doug perhaps one story arc is enough?

    Flap Jack


    Our heroes return to Red Dwarf to find that the nanobots have not only rebuilt the ship, but also resurrected the old crew. Unfortunately, the 3 million year gap between deaths and their resurrections means that the nanos botched the job, and the crewmembers all came back as mindless zombies with an insatiable craving for flesh and blood. They try to take out all the zombies, but thanks to the crew now numbering over 1,000 rather than 169 like it was in Series 1, they are quickly overcome.

    They manage to escape, but only after Cat is bitten by Zombie Hollister. The four of them spend 24 hours holed up in Lister and Rimmer’s sleeping quarters, but when it becomes apparent that Cat is about to turn, Lister is forced to kill him to protect himself and Kochanski.

    Seeing no other solution, they manage to escape through the air ducts, set Red Dwarf to self-destruct, and then escape in Starbug moments before the detonation.

    But oh no! Zombie Rimmer somehow snuck aboard Starbug, and launches a surprise attack on Lister! He’s just about to bite when Kryten manages to grab the zombie from behind. Kryten pulls Rimmer away from Lister for just long enough for Kochanski to aim a bazookoid, and it kills the Rimmer Zombie, but Kryten is also caught in the blast. Kryten dies in Lister and Kochanski’s arms.



    Lister’s kidneys are ripped out by Asclepius. Meanwhile, Cat’s barbed penis rips a woman’s vagina to shreds.

    Me Own Stunts

    Kochanski probably wouldn’t have been brought into series 7 for a start. Any other member of the dead Red Dwarf crew could have taken Rimmer’s place without creating the complex issue of Lister having his ideal woman right there. For the narrative purposes of series 7 and 8, Lister simply needed a female he vaguely fancied.

    No Kochanski means no shrieking series 7 Kryten. Another issue solved.

    Rob Grant means fewer crap jokes would have got into the episodes, as well as stories built on stronger ideas in the first place.

    Just better, really.

    Ian Symes

    For the narrative purposes of series 7 and 8, Lister simply needed a female he vaguely fancied.

    Me Own Stunts

    Accepting that continuing the collaboration with Grant would have resulted in completely different stories rather than the same episodes with slightly different content, there’s nevertheless a strong chance that an eighth series would have had the Red Dwarf crew returning to Red Dwarf, and found it populated by the old now-alive crew.

    Where I think Grant would have differed would have been the idea of putting our crew into prison. Grant would have seen the obvious idea as the better one. Instead of a prison, put Lister back into the routines of the established Red Dwarf hierarchy, along with all the menial chores he had to do before the crew were wiped out. An infinitely more exciting idea. Rimmer would have been like the Me2 alternate version, not the pantomime Rimmer of series 8. And the rest of the crew would have been separated from Lister for longer, leaving him with only Rimmer for company. Kryten with his corrupted files repaired and put to cleaning toilets, but again without all the shitty pantomime and immediate restoration. Cat put into stasis or something.

    Grant and Naylor both spoke of their regret that they never really explored the world of Red Dwarf before the crew was wiped out. The obvious opportunity of series 8 to rectify this would have been taken if Grant had been involved.

    Me Own Stunts

    Sorry Ian; I don’t know the reference.


    Rob probably would have been very reluctant to bring Kochanski into the mix but since part of the reason she was even there was likely because they needed to female character for the movie, you never know.


    Doug: and then the pink policemen gets off on it and starts rubbing his nipples!, it will be a classic rob!
    Rob: Hmm… i think we can do better
    Doug: *GASP*


    friday night dinner, i think. the character in the picture is known to refer to women as “females”


    he may be called martin. i dont know


    Quite surprised the general consensus is it would’ve been better, lol, no I’m not I’m on Ganymede & Titan

    I haven’t read much of Rob Grant’s other material, but I’ve read Backwards which as far as I know is his only solo Red Dwarf endeavor. It has its ups and downs, but generally I suppose Grant would’ve kept a more bleaker outlook had he held control of the show. I don’t believe the show would still be on if Grant had control over it, nor do I believe it would’ve gotten as far as maybe another series or two.

    Unless I get a Wildfire I don’t think I can continue. However, comparing Doug’s Last Human with Grant’s Backwards, which I feel is the only substantial argument one could make in favor of a Grant-only Red Dwarf; I’m glad Doug was the one who continued Red Dwarf and not Grant had it come down to it.

    Grant’s more darker plot elements definitely bring a breath of fresh air and I enjoyed a lot of what he had to offer in that department, but for general character interaction I think his writing came across as a lot mean-spirited than I’d prefer. Cat’s a cunt and Lister does nothing but moan for a good chunk of the book; though Kryten gets some very good moments and the chapters focusing on Rimmer’s past are the best in the book but I can’t believe Rimmer would ever say “joshing” without being ironic.

    Overall, I, as I assume most Red Dwarf fans would concur, would rather see both Grant and Doug write together than separate, but given the choice I’m fine with Doug.


    Rob and Doug Co-written material is always gonna be better than neither persons solo material.

    Personally i don’t know whether Rob would have done a better job then Doug has done. overall alot of Red Dwarf since Rob has felt like Doug flaying around in experimenting with the show.


    I reckon it’d be at least as good as Dark Ages.


    He probably has re-written them in his spare time, but they were still shit so he’s kept it a secret.

    With Cat and Lister being awful dickheads in Backwards, I think it works because they had become teenagers, and all teenagers are awful dickheads. Rimmer’s use of joshing is nothing compared to the phrase “fusspot indeed!” being used in a Red Dwarf book.

    Ben Saunders

    I laugh more in one episode of Star Trek TOS than I did in two episodes of The Strangerers, but I haven’t seen Dark Ages. Maybe it’s funnier.
    If the choice is between two more series of Grant Dwarf or six more of Naylor Dwarf as someone suggested earlier, I’ll go for the latter unless the two series of Grant Dwarf were absolutely phenomenal from start to finish


    I laugh more in one episode of Star Trek TOS than I did in two episodes of The Strangerers, but I haven’t seen Dark Ages. Maybe it’s funnier.

    It’s not.

    Ben Paddon

    My mum quite liked Dark Ages.

    There’s a joke in there somewhere.

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