Brilliant pictures from pre-watershed sitcoms

[John Hoare]

[mick]

hahaha, excellent :D

I fookin love G&M

[John Hoare]

It’s so, *so* good. I’ve only got into it recently, but – along with Man About The House – it’s become one of my favourite ever sitcoms.

George muttering gleefully “That’s disgusting” as he reads that is just fabulous.

[John Hoare]

Speaking of old sitcoms – if you ever get a chance, watch the first episode of Three Up Two Down. It stars Michael Elphick – and it’s PAINFULLY obvious that he’s pissed throughout the entire recording. Really, really disturbing, considering what he died of, but also fascinating to watch. It’s so bad that I’m surprised they didn’t reshoot. Oddly enough, he’s fine throughout the rest of the series – presumably he was really nervous because it was the first one…

Actually, Three Up Two Down is well worth hunting down. Irritatingly, Playback released the first two series, and then haven’t released any more as presumably it didn’t sell well enough – so I don’t get to see the other two series. Which is really, REALLY annoying.

[mick]

I remember watching Three Up Two Down many a year ago, I’m currently enjoying ‘Never the Twain’, ‘Home to Roost’ and ‘Love Thy Neighbor’ on a regular basis, they just don’t (cant) make em like this any more.

[John Hoare]

Never the Twain and Home To Roost I can’t really get into – although they’ve at least got a likable atmosphere. And the theme to Home To Roost is brilliant – and John Thaw is never less than great too.

I’ve never actually seen Love Thy Neighbour. I must hunt it out.

[Andrew]

This goes back to a rant I had on the Dwarf Wiki page about the watershed – it’s become more strictly enforced, more direct in our sense of ‘before’ and ‘after’. So now we can’t imagine that being a pre-watershed image, where once there was a sort of grey area between 7 and 11 where things slowly shifted across many shades of grey…

I’m still taken aback by the topless pictures in the cells of Porridge – it’s just not a piece of design a new pre-watershed sitcom would allow. Yet somehow, due to ‘historical context’, I guess, it’s managed to stay on the right side of the broadcast repeat schedule.

[mick]

I’ve also noticed carry-on films being shown mid afternoon instead of the usual 3am slot, boobs, bums and all.

[Pete Part Three]

It’s probably to do with context and the fact that the voyeur is the character rather than the audience. Or something.

[Ian Symes]

I?m currently enjoying… ?Love Thy Neighbor? on a regular basis

Typical Mick.

[mick]

I hope you’re not suggesting im some sort of racist Ian, I find remarks like that, even in jest, to be very inappropriate.

I should post some choice cuts of your rendition of “Never Be Rude To An Arab” ;)

[John Hoare]

Another great line from George & Mildred:

MILDRED: Honestly George, I think you must be going soft in the head [glances down at his groin] …as well.

Me and Tanya audibly went “Oooooh!” at that, which is probably why you should NEVER EVER WATCH A SITCOM WITH US. But it’s a pretty risque line for a pre-watershed sitcom, isn’t it? I suppose it ties in with what Andrew says about the grey areas around the watershed at that time compared to now.

[peas_and_corn]

Well in The Simpsons, they’re not allowed to put Homer’s naked bum into scenes any more, but the repeats with it are fine for some reason.

[Seb Patrick]

a rant I had on the Dwarf Wiki page about the watershed

Ah, yes. I thought that was probably you ;-)

I should post some choice cuts of your rendition of ?Never Be Rude To An Arab? ;)

I wish for it to be placed on record that I was the one attempting to censor him… (which then led to our utterly brilliant rendition of “I Bet You They Won’t Play This Song On The Radio”)

[Andrew]

It’s weird you guys have instigated a Python song tradition at DJ. I have happy memories of congregating around the pool table at DJ 04 performing the Medical Love Song with a one-time Webboard regular…

[Ian Symes]

I remember that! I was more distracted by that weird bloke with webbed feet who pissed himself.

[mick]

HAHAHAHA!!!! fucking hell I’d forgotten all about that guy :D

[Danny Stephenson]

> performing the Medical Love Song

It’s only ‘performing’ when you remember the words… :)

Not the best choice of song to sing when you’re pissed mind…

[John Hoare]

UK Gold is currently bleeping the word “bastard” from Porridge showing right now. Sigh.

So:

a) Why can’t the word ‘bastard’ be broadcast at this point? Try your luck. It’s certainly a word that’s been broadcast before the watershed before, and it’s justified in context.

b) If you can’t broadcast it, why not just schedule something else, and show Porridge later – at 8 or 9pm? There’s no shortage of pre-watershed programmes they could show…

[John Hoare]

Also, I’ve just finished watching a Man About The House episode where George is reading porn mags. And what does he mumble at one point?

“Cor, seventeen…”

[pfm]

It’s legal. To fuck a 17-year-old that is. Still…was this the days before ‘all models are 18 or over’

[Jason aka Smeg4Brains]

It’s legal to fuck them…it’s just not legal for them to pose naked…..

[Dave]

Touch but don’t look

[Phil]

>It?s legal to fuck them?it?s just not legal for them to pose naked?..

*relocates to the UK*

[Jonathan Capps]

> *relocates to the UK*

Don’t tease me with your false promises.

[Nakrophile]

I have to say that this image is one of the greatest I have ever seen.

[John Hoare]

Watching Porridge again, with bleeped bastards.

You know, it sounds *far* worse when they’re bleeped. My mind just fills in the gap with ruder words – because those are the words you expect to be bleeped, not an innocuous bastard. “Don’t let the FUCKERS grind you down…”

[Dave]

>Watching Porridge again, with bleeped bastards.

You’ll end up watching it alone if you keep talking about your friends like that

[Ben Paddon]

“Damnit, we’ll have to fix the engine ourself!”
“We can’t, you bastard! No one knows how it works. It’s impossible.”

[Dave]

“Conquer Earth us bastards”

[Phil]

A-and one for the commentary/deleted scenes nerds:

“Make that bitch your bitch, you bastard!”

[John Hoare]

So, I was watching Beer from Blackadder II the other day on UK Gold. Firstly, they bleeped out the word “git”, which is just… weird. I mean, “git”? Did they think they said “shit” by mistake, or is UK Gold run by Lady Whiteadder herself?

But then… they cut the whole final joke. “Luck? Geddit? Sounds almost exactly like f-“ One of the most famous jokes in Blackadder ever! Anyone who would decide to do this has respect for television at all – there’s no other way of putting it. It’s atrocious.

Seriously – with this kind of editing, there is actually NO POINT in watching UK Gold, or any of the other UKTV channels.

[Danny Stephenson]

why on earth would you show a programme like that in the early evening. My view is “if you’re gonna show it, dont’ cut it, otherwise, don’t show it at all”

Prinks.

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

Yesterday I found that somebody has done similar to a repeat of Family Guy‘s Christmas ep (in which Lois is driven to a Christmas breakdown)–they deleted a couple of lines with possibly objectionable content in it (or more objectionable than Family Guy usually is, I mean). Thing is, in other broadcasts of the same episode, I’d swear those lines weren’t cut at all–apparently this was just done for this Christmas Eve broadcast or something.

[Phil]

Are you referring to the xmas eve broadcast on Adult Swim, Arlene? I watched that episode that night…what was cut? I’m not familiar enough with Family Guy to catch that stuff on my own…

Though I do remember one episode aired on FOX in which Meg gave her age as 16 (or something), and soon afterward Brian propositions her for sex. When it re-aired she was dubbed to give her age as 18…presumably so the sexual reference wouldn’t be as offensive. (The fact that she’d be having sex with a dog apparently wasn’t an issue.)

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

No, it was a local CBS affiliate–no cable, so no Adult Swim.

I can only pinpoint with any certainty two lines that were cut:

– The two boys in the trailer fighting over their new “sex box”: I don’t remember the whole line but it ended with “And her name is Sony.”

– Joe’s wife, introducing herself as the Virgin Mary in the Quahog Christmas pageant: “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

[Phil]

Ohh, okay. They were both present in the Adult Swim airing. (Though for the first time I realized that both children have their underpants around their ankles during the sexbox scene, and I kind of wondered how FOX let them get away with that in the first place.)

I’d have assumed Brian’s “Can I buy pot from you?” would have been cut, if they were worried about keeping it xmas-safe. But who knows what these people are thinking when they cut a show up.

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

That line of Brian’s might have been cut too, but the ones I quoted are the only ones I’m really sure of.

[Ben Paddon]

He’s not my friend, he’s a funking idiot!

[John Hoare]

Blackadder II, Beer, on UK Gold:

Edmund: Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I’m best.

And “dickhead” was bleeped. And yet again, your mind fills in a far ruder word in place of it! (And not just my mind too – come on, with a lot of people, as soon as you hear a bleep, your mind automatically reaches for the rudest words.)

This is getting really, really stupid. I accept that I’ve got a more liberal attitude towards swearing than a lot of people; that’s fine. And I have no problem with fuck, shit and the like being restricted to after 9. But really: dickhead? Is that word so offensive that it needs to be bleeped? This is fucking about with a show for NO REASON!

And yet the line “Firstly, a total piss-up” is left intact…

[Dave]

I can’t remember what I was watching but they bleeped a couple of swear word so precisely that it left you in no doubt what they were to begin with. F(bleep)ker, c(bleep)nt, etc

[Ben Paddon]

Too many Mother ‘uckers, ‘uckin’ with my shi’.

[Ian Symes]

How many mother ‘uckers? Too many to count, mother ‘uckers!

[Ian Symes]

Shooting Stars. Challenge. 11:20pm. The word ‘cock’ bleeped and Bob Mortimer’s mouth obscured. For fuck’s sake.

[Ian Symes]

And now the word ‘piss’ gets the same treatment. If you going to put your best show on at 11 o’clock at night, you can at least let it go out uncensored.

[Phil]

>I can?t remember what I was watching but they bleeped a couple of swear word so precisely that it left you in no doubt what they were to begin with. F(bleep)ker, c(bleep)nt, etc

Preposterous, yes. But take solace in the fact that this is just the next step in getting these words to the point that they won’t be censored at all. Eventually the bleeps will get so short they won’t even exist.

We’ve seen similar things before…it used to be that a married couple couldn’t even sleep in the same bed. Then they could sleep in the same bed, if it was made obvious that they were fully clothed and didn’t get up to any funny business. Then they were allowed to kiss and turn off the light. Fast-forward a few years and you can get away with simulated sex without anyone batting an eye.

I’m hoping profanity goes the same way. First you couldn’t dream of saying a word like that. Then you could, as long as it was entirely censored. Now they’re happy with just vowel sounds. Eventually it won’t even be an issue at all. “Clean” channels will no doubt exist, as will clean programming across the board. But it’ll happen. And probably not all that far down the line either.

[Ben Paddon]

Profanity, really, appears to be going the other way. You know the BBC have gone through all of the old episodes of Only Fools and Horses to remove “politically incorrect” dialogue, such as “nip down to the Paki shop” and the like. Now, that’s not a word I’d ever use, but you don’t go back and edit old shows just because the current generation finds their content objectionable. That’s the sort of shenanigans that’s preventing The Sound of Music getting a DVD release.

[Phil]

>?politically incorrect? dialogue, such as ?nip down to the Paki shop? and the like.

Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but this is in a classification other than “profanity.” It’s still censorship all the same, so it might not be as though the distinction really matters, but I can definitely envision a time–and not with much difficulty–that “fuck” will be commonplace in a television program and “nigger” will not.

I’m definitely of two minds about that particular brand of censorship, as I gather you are as well. Personally I wouldn’t want to see a new show come around and use that type of intolerant language in anything other than an ironic or historical way. But at the same time, I wouldn’t like programs in which it DOES exist to be edited. It just seems to sort of pretend the problem was never there…which is absurd, and not helpful in the slightest.

In fact, I think it’d be much healthier to leave that sort of thing intact, so that when compared against today’s programming one will see that definite progress has been made.

Also, as you say, certain classic films and television shows feature language like that…more an artifact of the time than anything else, and for that reason it has value historically. It doesn’t do anyone any good at all to re-edit the past. I’m unaware of any sort of equal-rights movement that ever requested we pretend we never mistreated them at all. More often they adopt the persecution into their own cultural history–as it is without any question their right to do–and hold that up as evidence of their own strength as a people and a promise that triumph over extreme prejudice is not impossible.

Sorry. Kind of went on a bit there, but it’s an interesting topic.

[Dave]

>That?s the sort of shenanigans that?s preventing The Sound of Music getting a DVD release.

That film is full of cunts

[Author]

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