Happy Simpsons Day!

[Seb Patrick]

Have a rare example of a newspaper’s comments thread being a force for good. Enough in there to keep you chuckling away for a good while, anyway.

Topic

[Ridley]

I was laughing at something outside.
She was laughing at Nelson!
Lisa likes Nelson!
She does not!
Milhouse likes Lisa!
He does not!
Janey likes Milhouse!
She does not!
Uter likes Milhouse!
NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!!

[Pete Part Three]

Homer: You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher’s mitt, but my dad wouldn’t get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what’s the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories.

[JamesTC]

Homer: I take a whisky drink, I take a chocolate drink, And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink.

[Phil]

For some reason they stuck a Back to Earth scene in there.

[Dessie]

Milhouse: Wow Bart, Laddie’s great, way better than your old dog
Bart: Really? I guess I was the only one that loved him
Milhouse: You got that right, remember the time he ate me goldfish and you lied to me and said I never had a goldfish? Then why’d I have the bowl Bart? Why. Did I Have. The Bowl?

[ori-STUDFARM]

Yopu can’t beat Homers attempts to snare a rabbit which results in the rabbit flying off through the air and disappearing over the horizon

[Pete Part Three]

Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

[Danny Stephenson]

Yopu can?t beat Homers attempts to snare a rabbit which results in the rabbit flying off through the air and disappearing over the horizon

The landing noise has me in stitches…

[redhead85]

I LOVE the opening to ‘Bart Sells His Soul’…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ9J1RfoYjQ

Homer: Hey Marge, remember when we used to make love to this hymn?

No matter how many times I see that opening, I always laugh. Especially the bit with the candles at the end.

[Danny Stephenson]

Flipping the video so that YouTube doesn’t spot it as licensed work… Interesting. How long has THAT been going on for?

[redhead85]

Dunno – I’ve seen things typed backwards so youtube doesn’t pick it up, but that’s the first flipped vid I’ve seen…

[Pete Part Three]

>Flipping the video so that YouTube doesn?t spot it as licensed work? Interesting. How long has THAT been going on for?

I don’t get it. How does that work?

[Danny Stephenson]

When you upload a video to youtube, it runs it through some kind of video recognition to try and sort out the copyright issues… Flipping the video seems to make them slip through the net.

I think it’s like quality control, some of them are checked manually, but some get missed by the system.

[Pete Part Three]

Interesting! Ta muchly.

[ori-STUDFARM]

That was Danny. Not seen Muchly on here for ages!!

[Danny Stephenson]

I’m on here all the time! Mind you I have been preety busy of late, and may not have posted as much I think I might have done…

[Seb Patrick]

“We can’t bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One way is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to ride the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ‘Gimme five bees for a quarter’, you’d say. Anyway, the important thing to remember is that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions in those days because of the war. We had to use these big yellow ones…”

“Not many people know this, but I had the first radio in Springfield. Wasn’t much on in those days. Just Edison, reciting the alphabet. ‘AAAAAAA’, he’d say. Then ‘B’. ‘C’ would *usually* follow…”

“My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say “dickety” because the Kaiser had stolen our word “twenty”. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just lost the picture, but what we’ve seen speaks for itself. The Corvair craft has been taken over… CONQUERED, if you will… by a race of giant space ants. It’s too early to tell whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them, but one thing is for certain – there is no stopping them. The ants… will soon be here. [pause] And I for one welcome our new insect overlords! Would like to remind them that as a trusted television personality I can be useful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves!”

[Ben Paddon]

“There’s an interesting story behind this nickel! I got up one morning to make myself a piece of toast. I set the toast to threeeeee, medium-brown!”

My all-time favourite Abe Simpson moment.

[Blisschick]

Okay, another “list”…I don’t totally agree with it, but some of these are pretty funny. And why only 29??

29 Best Chalkboard Gags

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/29/the-29-best-chalkboard-ga_n_371207.html?slidenumber=DzwHhXnB7DA%3D&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

[genericnerdyusername]

?We can?t bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One way is to tell them stories that don?t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to ride the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ?Gimme five bees for a quarter?, you?d say. Anyway, the important thing to remember is that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn?t have white onions in those days because of the war. We had to use these big yellow ones??

Kudos to Dan Castellaneta for saying those lines. I’ve attempted to read that paragraph myself, but it’s so boring even when I try to say them out loud I can’t make it to the end.

[Dave]

“Subject is hatless…repeat…hatless.”

[genericnerdyusername]

“Hello. Smithers. You’re. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On.”

…

“Erm, probably should ignore that.”

[Author]

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