Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Hi guys, I've come from the land of the official forum in search of lemons

Viewing 75 posts - 1 through 75 (of 75 total)
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  • #204168
    dodgelister
    Participant

    I heard that here, unlike people at the official forum I won’t get referred to as a continuity bore, won’t get back bitten for loving red dwarf and loving having a laugh with the members and won’t have to put up with haters who write negatively about everything dwarf and put the rolling eye smiley after every post… and therefor I think I won’t be needing those lemons :D

    #204181
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    lol plenty of lemons here as anywhere else mate,
    Let me be the first to extend a hearty welcome to you m8 and hope you can avoid stepping in the dog poo thats all over the plce.

    #204182
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    *place

    #204194
    Paul Muller
    Participant

    Welcome! Sorry about the poo.

    #204196
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Hi Dodge, I didn’t even know there WAS a rolling eye smiley! Welcome.

    #204201
    dodgelister
    Participant

    hehe you should apologise for.the chicken!

    I’m glad that smiley and the constant user of it isn’t here hehe

    excuse me while I.wipe my shoes

    sgt smiley you don’t use Twitter much right?
    is reznor here?

    #204203
    Ridley
    Participant

    This place is a complete [etc.]

    #204223
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    aint spotted rezzie yet mate,but am looking forward to that
    avast ye landlubbers the piratz are boarding yon hold.

    #204260
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    This place is quite good, but you guys should really try Gazpacho Soup

    #204263
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Maybe the title of this thread should be changed to ‘Let’s Talk (About) Bollocks.’

    #204267
    Jo
    Participant

    is reznor here?

    aint spotted rezzie yet mate,but am looking forward to that

    *sharpens knives*

    #204268
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Who the smeg is reznor?

    #204270
    Ridley
    Participant

    You had to ask.

    #204271
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    lmao jo . poor guy , he really is hiding from ya.
    true

    we’ll fit in alright then fellow bollocks speaker

    #204273
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    forgive my impertinence and ignorance but whats with being directed to Gazpacho soup? I thought this place was gr8?
    I wanna stay, if I may?

    #204275
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Yeah, best post as much as you can here. In fact, it is best to set yourself a target of 50 posts per day and 10 new topics per day. The admin may make out that they hate you and are going to ban you but that is just their way of showing their appreciation of contributing to the community.

    #204277
    dodgelister
    Participant

    Lovely fella, think I may take his advice. Say, what’s your stance on the idea of jumping off cliffs?

    #204278
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    really?
    can someone also explain where the sarcasm is , Im looking for it but cant seem to find it anywhere.

    #204279
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    lol at the lemming hint (clever really since its how the thread was lemon-ny)

    #204282
    dodgelister
    Participant

    This place is hostile. I think I’m gonna use the lemons. You with me Sgt Jesus Geordie smiley?

    I’d suggest a bit of payback trolling but I have better things to do… Like my wife :P

    #204283
    dodgelister
    Participant

    The funny thing is I never knew lemons could write on forums… You learn something new everyday lol

    #204286
    takerdemon
    Participant

    Welcome Dodge!

    I’ve not been here long and people have been nothing but nice. I realise that the replies to this post will now be a barrage of people telling me to fuck off or calling me a cunt but I get the feeling that’s a term of endearment around these parts…

    … Either that or I’m as thick as a ticket touts wad.

    #204293
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    People have been nice to you because you seem to be not a complete fucking idiot. People who aren’t fucking idiots are generally nice to people who aren’t fucking idiots. If people aren’t nice to each other, then at least one of the parties must be a fucking idiot. So if people are consistently not nice to you, you have to consider whether everyone else is a fucking idiot, or…

    #204294
    takerdemon
    Participant

    Mr Symes, that was prophetic and greatly appreciated. A pint for that man!!!

    #204295
    dodgelister
    Participant

    Oh shit. Well, I can only thank you an. You have put a lot of people to shame today and corrected so many wrongs. My tests show that I have an IQ of 149, in school I was fast tracked to GCSE at the age of 14 on 4 of the core subjects, I possess a Cambridge Celta, Delta, BA Honz, PGCE and MA and have not begun a phD because my life is currently taking precedence. I generally work teaching English as a foreign language however for the last year I was working for the Mexican government translating legal documents into and from Spanish for the UN.

    Thank fuck you, I mean YOU, Ian, you came here and corrected me before I began to think I may have a bit of a brain in my skull. Forgive all those examining bodies and companies that have certified me, employed me and promoted me and repeatedly commended on my abilities. I am so glad that you pointed out their and my flaws.
    Seriously, you must be some kind of super genius the likes of which I can’t comprehend, I mean after all, you just read 3 or 4 posts I made in a pokey little Internet forum where I am probably the only member to have ever had sexual intercourse (it feels really good by the way) and gave me your professional opinion and wow… Man, seriously!

    Fuck off ;)

    #204296
    dodgelister
    Participant

    Man*

    See, you had the foresight to make the forum mobile friendly. Genius.

    #204297
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I think I speak for most people on here by saying “Go fuck yourself, you annoying cunt”

    #204299
    dodgelister
    Participant

    I will be back in London in a couple if days and I urge anyone who would like to say these things to my face to let me know when and where they would like to do so. I would also like to request that you take out health insurance beforehand.

    #204301
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Oh, I’m sorry! I assumed you liked this kind of banter. Should I have included a smiley after my comment? I’m never sure.

    #204302
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    dodgelister,

    How can you boast about academic qualifications in order to try and prove your intelligence and then make a fatuous and puerile statement about the sexual inadequacies of people you’ve had contact with for such a short period of time? There’s nothing on here to imply that. For all of this site’s swearing, I’ve been visiting it for ten years and never heard anyone make deliberate and insulting sexual jibes to anyone else, especially the guy who CREATED THE SITE. I think it’s deplorable behaviour.

    Everyone is always given a chance on G&T, and I stand by that. But when you deliberately join a forum to stir up trouble, is it any wonder that you get a hostile reaction? Because, to my mind, all you’re here for is to stir up trouble.

    Oh, and to end an argument by threatening physical violence is not a wise thing to do.

    :)

    #204303
    Jo
    Participant

    Oooh, I’m shaking in my little spaceboots!
    Take your empty threats, your over inflated ego and don’t let the door hit you on the way out..

    #204305
    dodgelister
    Participant

    Since when did I stir up trouble? I reacted to insults here and stuck up for sergeant smiley in his thread then been barraged with insults. <3

    #204306
    Jo
    Participant

    For all of this site’s swearing, I’ve been visiting it for ten years and never heard anyone make deliberate and insulting sexual jibes to anyone else, especially the guy who CREATED THE SITE.

    Dodgy Lister is Shane G and I claim my £5.

    #204309
    dodgelister
    Participant

    Lol Rather that than Shane Dibley and I’m glad £5 is a lot to you :)

    #204310
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I will be back in London in a couple if days and I urge anyone who would like to say these things to my face to let me know when and where they would like to do so. I would also like to request that you take out health insurance beforehand.

    Is you face that horrific that it causes health problems?

    #204312
    dodgelister
    Participant

    I hope that that isn’t you in your avatar or Pot Kettle Black ;)

    #204314
    Jo
    Participant

    I’d suggest a bit of payback trolling but I have better things to do… Like my wife :P

    Aw diddums, looks like our friendly neighbourhood troll has just got a cob on because Mrs DodgyLister turned him down… and who can blame her?

    #204315
    dodgelister
    Participant

    I can’t be bothered trading insults with losers haha I know you will all write idiotic things here and I’m not gonna read them because basically, if I want my come-back I’d wipe it off your mother’s face… Coming down to your level of dock jokes and your mama one liners doesn’t suit me and I really don’t want to waste anything that would part your hair as it shoots over your heads, so do yourself and the world a favour guys, next time you are a lake, don’t feel like you HAVE to stay dry, if you get me?

    #204316
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Well, I think this explains what happened over at TOS, anyway.

    #204317
    dodgelister
    Participant

    LOL @ Jo, if you ever got broken open I’m sure you sealed back up years ago. I bet you spend the other part of your life on plenty of fish hoping for a message from… Any man at all? No one? Aww…

    #204319
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    To be fair, I’ve fucked her.

    #204320
    takerdemon
    Participant

    Dock jokes are beneath you?

    We only make them because of pier pressure.

    #204321
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    “LOL @ Jo, if you ever got broken open I’m sure you sealed back up years ago. I bet you spend the other part of your life on plenty of fish hoping for a message from… Any man at all? No one? Aww…”

    Resorted to insulting women now, eh? Can it sink any lower?

    #204322
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Dock jokes are beneath you?

    We only make them because of pier pressure

    I think you just salvaged this thread.

    #204323
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    “To be fair, I’ve fucked her.”

    HEARTBREAKER!

    #204325
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    lol Im just surprised nobody added (who hasn’t? sorry my expectations of responses were low)

    #204328
    Tanya Jones
    Participant

    I certainly didn’t expect any better from you, flower.

    #204330
    JamesTC
    Participant

    “is it me or has the atmosphere got somewhat tense again?” – McGruder

    #204334
    si
    Participant

    *grabs popcorn*

    #204342
    Alex
    Participant

    This place is quite good, but you guys should really try Gazpacho Soup…

    I think I’ve just remembered why we don’t have a forum on our site.

    #204343
    JamesTC
    Participant

    I thought the reason was that I would get mad with mod powers.

    #204344
    si
    Participant

    Is that fanny?

    #204345
    Alex
    Participant

    I’ve not been here long and people have been nothing but nice. I realise that the replies to this post will now be a barrage of people telling me to fuck off or calling me a cunt but I get the feeling that’s a term of endearment around these parts…

    As Seb said, everyone is given the same chance here. Quite often there will be people that join and just try too hard, coming across as tiresome in the process and opening themselves up to a bit of gentle teasing. 99% of people get to understand the dynamic of the site after a while and settle in. I’m sure we’ve all seen a user that’s joined and thought ‘what a tit’ after reading a few of their posts, only for them to go on and become valuable members of the community.

    #204346
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Si, twitter keep’s flogging you me! Are you paying them?

    #204347
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    After today I don’t know why anyone would want to moderate a forum.

    Glad we have this one, though. :)

    *goes and rereads the limericks*

    #204348
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Is that fanny?

    I’ve said much worse. Which has mercifully been cut out.

    Then again, Alex has mentioned a Smeg Ups episode. Oh no…

    #204349
    Alex
    Participant

    There was your suggestion that all of Si’s emails be read in the voice of Taiwan Tony for example.

    #204350
    JamesTC
    Participant

    There was your suggestion that all of Si’s emails be read in the voice of Taiwan Tony for example.

    That was a brilliant suggestion. It still is a brilliant suggestion. It is what the listeners want.

    #204351
    si
    Participant

    Get Andrew to read them in the voice of Dispenser 34, and you’re on.

    #204352
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Get Andrew to read them in the voice of Dispenser 34, and you’re on.

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You have a woman’s voice, m’lord…

    #204354
    Alex
    Participant

    That was a brilliant suggestion. It still is a brilliant suggestion. It is what the listeners want.

    Im not sure if I have the will to edit together a Smeg Ups episode (even though there’s hours worth to choose from), but if I do then I seem to recall that we did actually start doing that for a while.

    #204355
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Im not sure if I have the will to edit together a Smeg Ups episode (even though there’s hours worth to choose from), but if I do then I seem to recall that we did actually start doing that for a while.

    I think you did a sentence but had to stop because I was laughing so much.

    #204357
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Does anyone else sort of have the feeling Dodgy might be what Rimmer would be like if turned loose on a forum? And Ian is kind of like Lister dealing with it?

    /goes back to reading Rimmericks with Mabel

    #204368
    Reece
    Participant

    This thread

    #204370
    dodgelister
    Participant

    Last thing for you guys to think about… Hard task, I know.

    Many of you including admin verbally (or, through text, whatever) abused a man who is not mentally stable, suffers Asperger’s syndrome (pretty much autism) and is deaf, his problems are so sever he can’t have any social life and the way he writes on forums goes around in circles… When all he wants to do is share his game with you (which I can tell you looks amazing, red dwarf characters in what I think are better than ps2 graphics, really well made) out of the goodness of his heart…
    I know the guy from another forum and twitter. I saw this shocking treatment, and stuck up for him, and my posts were met with people being dicks “*too” “yes, I owe my life to him” and the bullying of this guy continued, resulting in me having a blow-out against the bullying.

    You all, including your antonym-of-babe-magnet admin come and gang-attack me here, like a dog poked with a stick I bite back every time and yes I raise the bar, it’s only retaliation, but you all react like I’ve shit on a grave, and apparently also I’m not allowed to react to abuse from women although you guys attack a guy who is legally considered mentally handicapped?

    Are you guys te kinds of people that throw your empty bottles at the Down syndrome-afflicted on the bus and then punch the carer when he asks you to stop it.

    Seriously, you are a bunch of disgusting human b… Can’t even describe you as the same species as me, how shameful that would be.

    Cue the insults/projection/inappropriate jokes…. And my middle finger in advance to anyone who wishes to do so.

    #204375
    dodgelister
    Participant

    Or maybe you began being arsey because I began a “hello” type hate thread and you don’t do them here… In which case perhaps a “Sorry, we don’t have threads here for welcoming new people and chatting with members, we only have threads for discussion topics about red dwarf stuff, pease bare that in mind, I am locking this but enjoy the forum” and not a “fuck off” type reply that quickly turned into a sheeplike everyone jumping on the “I’m gonna throw an insult too cos someone else did!” Bandwagon.

    Either way… Pretty uncalled for and I guarantee none of you would react that way in real life .

    #204376
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Maybe you should change your avatar to this

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #204378
    dodgelister
    Participant

    That would be a very bad summary and not adequate at all I’m afraid. Such a shame that you didn’t understand my post. I’m still overestimating too much.

    #204379
    Ridley
    Participant

    Seriously, you are a bunch of disgusting human b… Can’t even describe you as the same species as me, how shameful that would be.

    Well I think you’ve misread the situation entirely but you still have a better handle on this place than Pecospete.

    #204380
    dodgelister
    Participant

    What do you mean? About the situation, not pecospete.

    #204385
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    we are all guilty of chucking verbal buns am I the only one that can admit my failings and failures. dam the liars that preach the nobodies perfect and we’re all equal bullshit, they’ve had me fooled all these years.
    Im sorry for seemingly causing this rift here.Its just a shame that noone is able to forgive,move on.
    and now over to HAMAS radio station with this…..

    #204386
    SgtSmileyUK
    Participant

    lol dammit wheres the avatar that says everyone hates you when you need it? fire with fire. hark at those attacking the defenders of the vulnerable and holding righteousness views. whats the word hippo? crassy.

    #204398
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I step away from this forum for a few short hours and it all goes to shit.

    #204399
    anniescribe
    Participant

    It’s been amazing to watch, like me trying to decide presidential policy with myself in the mirror.

    #204400
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    SgtSmileyUK got some gentle sarcastic ribbing™ because his first action here was to plug something. That never goes down well. He seemed to brush it off and has apologised several times.

    You, dodgelister, got abuse. Because you acted like an agressive twat to gentle sarcastic ribbing™. Plenty of people have opened “Hello threads”. Maybe go and read them and you’ll see that, if the thread-starter doesn’t act like an over-sensitive moron who’s incapable of checking the tone round here before posting, they get a largely warm welcome.

Viewing 75 posts - 1 through 75 (of 75 total)
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