Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Red Dwarf is Back on Netflix Streaming, but…

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  • #205644
    Katydid
    Participant

    …what the hell is this? I mean, I was excited that they didn’t have the Remastered I-III, but I hope someone tells them they accidentally replaced Epideme with the long-lost necrophilia episode.

    #205647
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Later the SS Herpes is infected with a chalmydionic microbe.

    #205648
    Katydid
    Participant

    I’m really curious now as to what they say about “Blue”, but I’m too scared to check.

    #205649
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Later the SS Herpes is infected with a chalmydionic microbe.

    Hall of fame.

    #205653
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    That is pretty much what happens, though, no?

    #205655
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    It wasn’t sexually transmitted, though.

    #205656
    John Hoare
    Participant

    KISSING IS THE SAME AS SEX

    IT MAKES ME DO A NAUGHTY

    #205660
    Sam Johnson
    Participant

    The synopsis for Krytie TV is also quite… er… questionable:

    “After being cornered and reprogrammed by restless, sex-starved prisoners, Kryten launches his own television station called Krytie TV.”

    Is “reprogramming” a euphemism for something else?

    #205663
    si
    Participant

    No one’s even thought about reprogramming me for nearly 15 years now. :/

    #205664
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    Good job you have the ability for self programming. You’d ‘splode otherwise!

    #205668
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Unpack Rachel and get out the reprogramming kit.

    #205671
    anniescribe
    Participant

    The description for Blue is adorable. Mama approves …

    #205678
    Reece
    Participant

    The description for Blue is adorable. Mama approves …

    “Lister is feeling lonely, Rimmer rejoins the crew to give him a sympathy-fuck.”

    #205698
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Hey, by his own assessment, Lister’s pretty good at it. At least as good as his pool playing. ;-)

    #205699
    Renegade Rob
    Participant

    I wonder what it’ll say about Dear Dave. Something along the lines of “Lister exchanges fluids with a coffee and tea vending machine.”

    #205708
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Lemons: “The Boys from the Dwarf accidentally end up back in time; Rimmer gets freaky with the savior of mankind … or does he?”

    #205709
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Entangled: “28 minutes of stuff”.

    #205716
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Trojan: “Not at all what you envision when you think of Trojan and Rimmers. Also, some moosing about aboard the Dwarf.”

    #205723
    mick
    Participant

    >No one’s even thought about reprogramming me for nearly 15 years now. :/

    The last time I did that it took a week to dry the mattress.

    #205725
    Connell
    Participant

    Back In The Red Part 3: “No, that’s not a typo – they actually made a third part.”

    #205885
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Backwards: “After starting a fight in a pub, Kryten and Rimmer are hired as entertainers in a pub. Lister and the Cat drink lager.”

    #205902
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Pete Part 2: A weak plot device creates a dinosaur and the crew decide to feed it a cow and it shits everywhere.

    … or am I confusing that with a Shakespeare play?

    #205903
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Blue: Lister’s wet dream about Rimmer leads the crew to a disaster in the ARG Unit.

    #205912
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Duct Soup: Lister needs a wee.

    #205914
    Connell
    Participant

    ‘Backwards: .sdrawkcab sklat dna sklaw enoyreve ylsuht ,esrever ni sevom emiT .htraE fo noisrev sdrawkcab a si hcihw ,ytilaer etanretla na otni dna eloh emit a hguorht ylf werc ehT’

    #205940
    Alex
    Participant

    Future Echoes: After Rimmer watches him explode, Lister tries to stop The Cat from getting a fishy mouthful.

    #205946
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    D.N.A.- Kryten the mechanoid becomes human, plays with his own nipples and then experiences his first erection. He doesn’t like it and so goes back to being a mechanoid again.

    #205954
    Connell
    Participant

    Only The Good: Troubles ahed for the gang as the show faces cancellation. Can the writers pull of a quirky yet thrilling series finale to save the show from the scrapheap?

    No.

    #205955
    si
    Participant

    Emohawk – Polymorph II: The crew encounter a domesticated Polymorph as a halfway plausible excuse to bring back Duane Dibbley and Ace Rimmer.

    #205956
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Parallel Universe: Lister masturbates, with dire consequences.

    #205957
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Krytie TV: Lister masturbates, with dire consequences.

    #205958
    MANI506
    Participant

    Back In The Red Part 2: Rimmer becomes the ship’s bike after downing the sexual magnetism virus.

    #205959
    MANI506
    Participant

    Pete Part 1: Erections.

    #205962
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Krytie TV: Erections.

    #205963
    MANI506
    Participant

    Pete Part 2: A disembodied erection right up the Cat’s arse.

    #205964

    I was going to make a comment on Pete Part Three, but I don’t I’m good enough friends with him to call him a knob without actual offence being taken. So I won’t.

    #205966
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Out of Time: Rocks fall, everybody dies. Or reboots, whatever.

    #205967
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    >I was going to make a comment on Pete Part Three, but I don’t I’m good enough friends with him to call him a knob without actual offence being taken. So I won’t.

    It’s OK, I am a knob.

    #205969
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Backwards: The crew land on a planet that seems similar to Earth in the year 1989. The Cat does a shit in some grass. They pay a taxi driver in advance to take them to a pub. They start an unprovoked fight with the patrons of said pub, then in retaliation eat a man’s pie. As punishment for the fight, Arthur Smith angrily gives Rimmer and Kryten a job. Lister and the Cat each drink a pint of bitter and then leave, in order get a lift to a local park. From there, they find a bicycle lying on the ground and generously return it to its picnicking owners, before leaving the planet in Starbug. Meanwhile, Kryten and Rimmer decide to quit their new job, and head to a cafe to watch a woman eat a snack before going for a swim in the same local park. While at the bottom of the lake they find the other Starbug and fly it back to Red Dwarf.

    #205970
    MANI506
    Participant

    Arthur Smith could have said ‘after tonight’s gig, you’re out’? I don’t think I can explain away much else but this tiny detail works for me.

    #206180
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Marooned: Lister and Rimmer wait for Lister to die. They can’t hide how happy they are.

    Blue: Lister and Rimmer kiss. They can’t hide how happy they aren’t.

    #206190
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    “It’s OK, I am a knob”

    I agree!

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #206192
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Thanks For the Memory: Lister does a jigsaw so mundane he immediately forgets doing it.

    #206198
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    Back In The Red Part 2- Picking up where part 1 left off, the Red Dwarf crew stumble along and stretch out a story to the point where part 3 will take up the inaction.

    #206199
    Blisschick
    Participant

    Not sure if it’s our player or Netflix, but the hubby started watching the series again, and for some reason the show looks as if it’s on film, rather than shot in video. It looks that way (so far) in the first two series. I hate the look. I’ll stick to my DVD’s, thanks.

    #206201
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Thanks For the Memory: Lister does a jigsaw so mundane he immediately forgets doing it

    I want that fucking jigsaw…

    #206202
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Bliss chick. Is it The remastered series then? cus that was film effect.

    #206203
    Blisschick
    Participant

    I’m not sure…it was some version different from the DVD’s. Ben could probably tell you. I do know it had a video effect, though.

    #206205
    si
    Participant

    Thanks For the Memory: Lister does a jigsaw so mundane he immediately forgets doing it

    I want that fucking jigsaw…

    If that’s not crying out to be Official Anniversary Merch, I don’t know what is.

    #206206
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    It could be the PAL to NTSC conversion…

    #206207
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Something along those lines. It’s definitely the original series, but a really lossy compression/conversion has taken place at some point and changed the bastard frame rate.

    #206214
    anniescribe
    Participant

    “Blue: Lister and Rimmer kiss. They can’t hide how happy they aren’t.”

    Mabel, much as I like this pairing, I think you nailed it. LOLOL

    #206224
    Blisschick
    Participant

    >>Something along those lines. It’s definitely the original series, but a really lossy compression/conversion has taken place at some point and changed the bastard frame rate.

    Whatever the technical reason is that is totally over my head, it sucks.

    #206251
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    That’s BBC Worldwide for you. It took them years to fix Doctor Who, and they’re still missing “Planet of the Dead” and “A Christmas Carol”. Plus Hyperdrive is currently in 4:3 (it was in 16:9 when it was on the service two years ago) and the encode for The Office is terrible.

    I actually know one or two people at the executive level at BBC Worldwide. And, uh, yeah. They’re a bit shit.

    #218324
    flanl3
    Participant

    So what if it’s a dead thread? I was too proud of thinking of this.

    Give & Take: After much debating, Cat finally gets tricked into filling Lister’s hole, before it’s discovered that Cat’s incapable of such and Lister will have to fill it himself.

    #218325
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Oh, so *this* is where I got the idea for “in brief” synopses for The Complete Guide. I’d forgotten about this thread.

    #218334
    Katydid
    Participant

    Hooray, I indirectly contributed to G&T.

    #218349
    McAleeCh
    Participant

    Oh, so *this* is where I got the idea for “in brief” synopses for The Complete Guide. I’d forgotten about this thread.

    Please tell me you guys will be updating the guide once you’ve had the chance to go through the XI Blu-ray/DVD – I’m looking forward to seeing the ridiculous mini-synopses for the latest batch of episodes. XD

    #218350
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    There’s a plan. I planned it.

    #218352
    flanl3
    Participant

    Okay, but what will you do once your plan gets a little messed up after you get three mill years out into space after one of your buddies couldn’t properly repair the site in time and it blows up on everyone?

    #218781
    Hamish
    Participant

    Just spotted this beauty from Edmonton Public Library:
    “An unambitious slob has been awakened from a 3 million year sleep to find out he may be the last human alive. Hopelessly lost in space, this crew of mutant bachelors kill time and share adventures aboard the mining ship Red Dwarf.”
    https://epl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/1865690005_red_dwarf_xi

    …Mutant Bachelors?

    #218782
    (deleted)
    Member

    You remember them, they toured with the Abnormal Platters, the Deformed Tremeloes and Freddie And The Fucked-Up Dreamers.

    #218815
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    Well, we know from Timeslides that Rimmer evidently has a thing for underage teenage “temptresses” so is Lister/Caroline Carmen necro really implausible ;)

    #218830
    Katydid
    Participant

    Meanwhile in 2016, Red Dwarf is not available for streaming in the US period.

    And some of my discs are lost.

    #218832

    And some of my discs are lost.

    You monster!

    #218833
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    The good news is that Red Dwarf is surprisingly affordable on DVD in the US – the individual series sets range from $6 to $22, or the complete I-VIII set is $60.

    #218834
    flanl3
    Participant

    I think I bought my complete set for around $67, and the only problem I encountered was that I had to reassemble the box (it had come apart a little).

    #218835
    flanl3
    Participant

    Well, not the Dave series, clearly, but the fact that I spent almost as much on those three as I did on the first eight isn’t really much of a surprise.

    #218837
    Katydid
    Participant

    The good news is that Red Dwarf is surprisingly affordable on DVD in the US

    I’m missing the episodes for I and V.

    #218841
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Twentica “Lister clamps Kryten’s Nipples to get him going before the discussion of a Big Bang”

    #218842
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    I always thought that Lister could sing the 1997 Candle in the Wind about Rimmer: “You called out to our country, now you belong to Heaven – Shut up, Lister!”

    #218844
    flanl3
    Participant

    Officer Rimmer: “Rimmer nuts everywhere in a dream then in his pants in real life.”

    #218864
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    we know from Timeslides that Rimmer evidently has a thing for underage teenage “temptresses”

    Wait, what?

    #218865
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    RIMMER: “…if one of us had a photograph of a female-only naturist beach in Acapulco, full of bronzed, naked, uninhibited teenage temptresses, we could go there for a holiday?”

    #218866
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Yeah, that extra word in the original post is quite key.

    #218869
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Is it OK if I burn Lolita?

    #218870
    Dave
    Participant

    You know that thing when an ‘r’ and an ‘n’ right next to each other can look like an ‘m’?

    #218873
    Katydid
    Participant

    “Cat finds a lady cat. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not even close.”

    #218874
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    Ian: But most people don’t refer to 18 and 19 year olds as “teenagers”, they call them “young adults”. That’s what gave me pause and wonder.

    #218875
    flanl3
    Participant

    Is it OK if I burn Lolita?

    You know that thing when an ‘r’ and an ‘n’ right next to each other can look like an ‘m’?

    Eleven and sixty-seven hundredths out of ten on that comment there.

    #218876
    si
    Participant

    most people don’t refer to 18 and 19 year olds as “teenagers”

    I refer to 18 and 19 year olds as “far too young”.
    Mind you, i refer to twenty-somethings in the same way.

    And some thirty-somethings.

    #218877
    si
    Participant

    I don’t want to suggest how they refer to me.

    #218878
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    Still makes you wonder how old Rimmer was when he photographed the girls at the nudist beach and why they didnt call the cops on him as a dirty pervert.

    #218879

    I just assumed it was a photograph he had acquired, rather than one he’d taken himself.

    #218880
    flanl3
    Participant

    Except it would need to be developed.

    #218882
    Hamish
    Participant

    Just like with Hitler in Fascist Dictator Monthly?

    #218884

    If we’re getting into ‘how do they redevelop photos from prints?’ territory we might as well do a scene-by-scene ‘hold on this doesn’t make sense’ thread.

    #218887
    flanl3
    Participant

    we might as well do a scene-by-scene ‘hold on this doesn’t make sense’ thread.

    Might as well indeed.

    #218891
    (deleted)
    Member

    You can turn photos back into negatives. It used to be a thing you could get done.

    #218918
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    So does that make a photo a positive?

    #221190
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Cured: Lister finally receives treatment, for the ancient necrophilia incidental STD.

    #224903
    Hamish
    Participant

    Another winner from Edmonton Public Library:

    “The Emmy-winning comedy returns for more hilarious intergalactic adventures, with the original cast on board. Viewers see the gang stranded in a scientific research center, contending with out of control, and Rimmer decides to leave Red Dwarf in search of a dimension where he isn’t such a giant loser.”

    https://epl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/2017535005

    #224904
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Contending with out of control what?

    #224905
    Katydid
    Participant

    Series XII was shit. The show’s had the crew contend with out of control before, and I can’t imagine why they thought it could ever live up to the same heights. 8/10.

    #224929
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Beyond A Joke: “The Dwarfers spend some time in virtual reality, and… uh… something happens with other Krytens? I don’t know, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it. I think there’s like a green, dumber Kryten in it?”

    #224938
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    I just watched Beyond A Joke, there. I thought it was really good. Maybe it’s just the relief of it not being terrible after the slog of Ouroboros, Duct Soup and Blue, but I found myself really enjoying it.

    #224943

    Beyond a Joke better than Blue?!

    #224946
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Yeah. Blue has good moments but it’s boring for the most part. Nothing much happens apart from the Rimmer Experience and the kiss.

    #224948

    You know what I was saying about us having the opposite opinions all the time…

    #224958
    Katydid
    Participant

    I’ve traditionally always liked Blue, but I found myself kind of bored with it outside of its strongest scenes the most recent time I watched it.

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