Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Red Dwarf – Songs In The Key Of Files

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  • #6220
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    Right, it’s been a while coming, on account of me being a bit of a lazy shit / doing paid colouring work, (delete as applicable) but here is “Songs In The Key Of Files”. Written by my 2nd Favourite Ex-Pat, Mr Ben Paddon, and drawn crudely and shoddily Crayola’d by Me. Comment, critique and feedback welcome! Especially welcome if it’s positive. Grudgingly accepted otherwise. :)

    Kris

    #109698
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    I really liked it. Biggest positive for me was the time it was set. Not only is it during my favourite early Dwarf era (when there was just the 3 main characters and a very senile computer and not a lot actually happening), but I am able to mentally place exactly when this is occuring. This makes me like it more, knowing exactly what came just before and just after.

    #109699
    performingmonkey
    Participant

    > Biggest positive for me was the time it was set.

    Same here. In a way the series 1 era (if you can call it that) is much more interesting, despite the lack of action, Kryten, Starbug etc.

    This is brilliant btw. You know it’s good when you can actually get into the story thanks to how the panels flow. And the facial expressions match the dialogue perfectly.

    #109701
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Really well done. Looks great. Very believeable. Characters written perfectly.
    At least half of the writing I enjoyed as much as official Dwarf. Particularly the squid-haired insult. They’ve missed a trick not writing that one before now. And while Babylon 5 is a big pile of shit, at least the notion of fan fiction is a twist and plot central, so relevant if a little jarring at first. Certainly better than 95% of the cartoon’s from the old smegazine too.

    #109703
    Blisschick
    Participant

    Babylon-5 fan-fic?? Really? Bwahahaha! That show so sucked. Brilliant. I loved the whole thing. When’s the next installment?

    #109704
    redhead85
    Participant

    I agree with the others – early Dwarf is great as a lot of the action arose from the interactions based on their conflicting characteristics and personalities rather than external sources. Nicely done. You guys will have to write another one!

    #109705
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Pretty good stuff! Only a couple of things:

    1. I wouldn’t write Lister’s dialogue phonetically like that. Dropping various “G”s off the end of words doesn’t really sound right. If you just write the dialogue, people will read it in his accent, they don’t need nudging unless his accent causes major difference in pronunciation (which it generally doesn’t). If the dialect includes specific words, then obviously use those, but a Scouse accent doesn’t really need to be written as an’ and lookin’ and so on all the time.

    2. I’m sorry, but I still have absolutely no idea what the title means or refers to! I mean, I know it’s a pun on Songs in the Key of Life, but… I don’t get it ;-)

    But generally, yeah, it’s pretty decent. A bit lightweight, but as a way of feeling your way into doing the characters it works. Rimmer is especially good – the line about “if there’s anything I can do” feels lifted straight from classic series I Rimmer.

    #109708
    hummingbird
    Participant

    That was fun, I enjoyed it.
    Although, I agree with Seb about the title.

    #109712
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Thanks for all the positive feedback! A lot of constructive criticism as well which I’ll take on board if I ever write another one. I’d certainly like to write more.

    Regarding the title: It started off as a sort-of placeholder. It was related to personal files and to Lister’s guitar, so the musical link seemed appropriate. In the end it just sort-of stuck. I suppose an alternative title could be “Balance of Power: Epilogue”.

    I’m glad people got the Series I feel from this story. I deliberately wanted to write something low-key – character interaction is my strong suit, I think. I have to give a huge thanks to Kris for helping to rejiggle the script to make it flow better, which involved a little dialogue trimming. I’d never really written a comic script before, so this was a great exercise.

    #109713
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    I’m going to give both this and Jump Leads a mention on tonights ScutterCast recording if that is okay with you all. I’ll post links in the shownotes to this thread and the Jump Leads homepage.

    If you don’t want me to, let me know. I’ll get Darren to edit it out before we release it.

    #109714
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    Ori – Hell yeah. Mention away!

    #109715
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Yes yes, please do! :)

    #109717
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    Okay….they’re mentioned! Hope it brings you some traffic.

    #109718

    I really enjoyed that.

    That is all :).

    #109794
    MANI506
    Participant

    Really enjoyed that! Left me wanting more which is a good thing. Authentic series 1 vibe. Great work.

    (I still think your best work of all time is the walrus polishing kit ad)

    #111429
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    Sweet. This strip (and the other one wot I did sans Mr Paddon) totally got mentioned in today’s official RD site update. I’m a happy camper!

    Now, how can I convert kudos into hard currency?

    #111430
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Yes, we’re famous now. Let’s abuse our fame.

    #111447

    That is fantastic…can’t believe I missed it when it was first posted.

    #111575
    Ridley
    Participant

    2. I’m sorry, but I still have absolutely no idea what the title means or refers to! I mean, I know it’s a pun on Songs in the Key of Life, but… I don’t get it ;-)

    This?

    #212641
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Re-reading this today, and it still holds up. Some minor niggles about the dialog aside, I really like this. Would love to do another one some time.

    #212643

    Don’t think I was even lurking when this was posted, so thanks for the bump, I enjoyed that a lot! Always love a bit of ‘mooching around the ship annoying each other’ Dwarf, and this hits every beat of series 1 in that regard. Great stuff. Suppose I should have a look at that Jump Leads thing too now…

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