A Room in Polonius’ House

[Phil]

Working through the Python DVD set (which, more than anything, makes me wish there were a really GOOD Python DVD set) I was wondering who among the group I’d most like to sleep with. If I had the chance. Oh, and if I were gay. Which I’m possibly not.

Graham Chapman — The only member of the group that might actually be up for it. The problem here is that, while I’m alright with theorizing about being a homosexual, I do draw the line at theorizing about being a homosexual necrophiliac.

John Cleese — I can’t imagine anything other than his sex scene in The Meaning of Life. I’m not even kidding when I say that scene probably isn’t very far from reality. Also, I’d be a hell of a step down for him after Connie Booth.

Terry Gilliam — He’d think he’s a lot better at it than he really is.

Michael Palin — Probably a bit too humble to get the job done well, but he’d at least be very attentive, and I anticipate lots of pillowtalk and cuddling.

Terry Jones — Likelihood of his having to strip out of a pepperpot outfit first: 63%

Eric Idle — I guess it depends how much you’d pay him.

Topic

[Andrew]

Palin. He’d hold you afterwards, and be everso tender.

You’ll have to explain the heading to me. I once wrote a radio play dramatising Hamlet’s fathers journey through hell to warn his son, and even I don’t get it! (The play was rubbish, by the way, and ruined when I discovered Stoppard had already done the ‘weaving in and around Hamlet’ thing…)

[Phil]

It’s more a Python reference than a direct Shakespeare one…there’s a “Hamlet” episode that makes a few nods toward the actual play, and one of the transitions is a title card that reads ACT II – A ROOM IN POLONIUS’ HOUSE. But it turns out to be an introduction to a sport program called A Room in Polonius’ House. Probably the only truly great joke in the episode, sadly.

How long ago did you write your radio play?

[Jonsmad]

Phil Wrote: “John Cleese ? I can?t imagine anything other than his sex scene in The Meaning of Life. I?m not even kidding when I say that scene probably isn?t very far from reality.”

Are you saying Phil that the sight of a six foot man dancing around with his underpants on his head and talking russian doesnt do it for you?

And your deffinately a real limp wristed caricature, because you didnt list Carol Cleveland. I’d give her Marriage Guidance Counselling any day.

[Andrew]

> How long ago did you write your radio play?

Christ, it was about 1999. It had all this slightly bizarre imagery – whispering into a giant ear at one point! – which you can do cos it’s radio. I seem to remember some of the stuff was vaguely okay (daddy Hamlet – a general himself – had a hell represented as a huge, never-ending-yet-unwinnable war, with a crying child perpetually audible in the background).

[Ian Symes]

Are you saying Phil that the sight of a six foot man dancing around with his underpants on his head and talking russian doesnt do it for you?

That’s A Fish Called Wanda, not Meaning of Life.

[Jonsmad]

Yeah, sorry I probably didnt make my post very clear.

I’m aware of the school teacher sex lesson from MOL that Phil was mentioning, I was just trying to offer him an alternative cleese nude scene, for his contemplation.

Perhaps Romance with a Double Bass could turn your head Phil, have you seen that?

[Jonathan Capps]

> And your deffinately a real limp wristed caricature

!

!!

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

If you won’t take Eric Idle or Michael Palin, I would.

[Phil]

>you didnt list Carol Cleveland.

I didn’t even think to include “honorary” Pythons, though maybe I should have! If we are, then I’d certainly have to go with Neil Innes.

NO WAIT I MEANT CONNIE BOOTH SERIOUSLY I DID OOPS TYPO

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

>If we are, then I?d certainly have to go with Neil Innes.

Now, see, I’d have gone with him too, but only if he could get me introduced to Vivian Stanshall. And since he can’t anymore, why go with him at all?

[Phil]

>why go with him at all?

BECAUSE HE’S BEAUTIFUL.

No, seriously. He’s definitely one of my man crushes. A few others are Steve Coogan, Page McConnell, Chris Barrie and David X. Cohen.

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

Well, he does write some fine music…so you’d have that. So to each their own, I guess.

(Still, if he weren’t dead–Sir Viv for me, without the slightest hesitation. Also, Chris Barrie, Tom Baker, Paul McGann, possibly Chris Eccleston if I’m just a little bit drunk, and the list goes on and on of course…)

[John Hoare]

Connie Booth? Cunny Boobs, that’s what I call her.

Yes, I think it was worth ressurecting this thread for that.

Erm, if David X. Cohen had big bouncy breasts, I’d be there. And Carol Cleveland saying “Oh, shit!” in Holy Grail always turns me on.

[Danny Stephenson]

‘Shit’ really does it for you doesn’t it, John?

[John Hoare]

YES.

[Tanya Jones]

Neil Innes is still very good-looking for his age, but he’s a bit of a moaning old git nowadays. And if he wasn’t dead, I’d be begging Chapman for a roll in the hay.

[Author]

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