Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum good or near-perfect line readings?

  • This topic has 80 replies, 32 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Dave.
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  • #256770
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    My two are:

    “You’ve ruined this, Rimmer!”

    and

    “This is going to be about waffles, isn’t it?”

    #256771
    (deleted)
    Member

    “I swear, one time I caught this two pound black-ribbed knobbler”

    “Look at that! It’s a bucket and spade! Look at that… it’s, it’s clever that, innit?”

    (I’ve just realised one of my favourite Red Dwarf bits is in Pete. Something for everyone.)

    #256772
    Ridley
    Participant

    Not really, I need it to turn the lights on and off.

    #256773
    clem
    Participant

    “And then they did a jigsaw?”

    “It’s because I’m Hitler, isn’t it?”

    #256774
    Dave
    Participant

    “Ohhhhhh dear…!”

    (seeing brain-in-a-jar Lister in Out Of Time)

    #256782

    Arnold Rimmer, his locker, this morning!

    #256809
    bloodteller
    Participant

    “Current under tension is equal? Current under tension is expandable? Current under tension is expensive? What does this MEAN?”

    #256812
    Dave
    Participant

    The blue midget is loaded

    #256813
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Trumped up piscine
    Sawed off shotgun

    #256814
    Stabbim the Skutter
    Participant

    “He died in a plane crash. He was making love to his 14th wife and lost control of the plane.”
    “Have you got any pictures?”
    “…Well not of THAT, no!”

    #256815
    Taiwan Tony
    Participant

    I’ll second the Ohhhh dear.
    And I’ll add “And then, I’m going to have you.”
    Basic stuff, but perfect.

    #256816
    Taiwan Tony
    Participant

    Craig looking at the photographs of Robert’s erect penis was pretty perfect as well.

    #256819
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    “Man, that’s a fine present. He was probably only expecting a tie.”

    #256820
    Paul Muller
    Participant

    “We’re still in deep space sir, only now we’re in deep space in the 15th century!”

    Also the slightly deflated “Well, yes.” that follows Rimmer’s line.

    #256832
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    “And you think that’s mine? It’s not possible there is an Andy Hitler or an Ainsley Hitler? And even if it did stand for Adolf, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is mine… Oh no that it is mine.”

    I think most people watching that knew how the line was going to end, but the line reading is so good.

    #256841
    Joe
    Participant

    Reduced!?

    #256843
    pi r squared
    Participant

    …but the line reading is so good.

    It really is. On the night of recording, they did that bit a good 5 or 6 times (with, if I recall correctly, variations of the ‘A’ names used instead of Andy and Ainsley) and the “it is mine” line and delivery got a huge laugh every single time.

    Also from a guest performance, the brilliant “I’m sure there’s no cause for oh dear” in M-Corp is also one of my favourites.

    #256849
    Taiwan Tony
    Participant

    “You can’t have been a full member of the golf club, then.” I cite this one because it’s so easy to fuck it up and he does it excellently.

    #256965
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    “Well, it means you’ve got a more tasteful cockpit.” One of my favorite Holly jokes, one of Hattie’s best reads.

    #256966
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Almost every Hattie line is delivered well, even when it’s just exposition about opening doors

    #256967
    Veni
    Member

    I’m shocked she never got an Emmy

    #256989
    performingmonkey
    Participant

    Norman – ‘and then they did a jigsaw’ (Thanks For The Memory)

    Chris – ‘It’s you, isn’t it.’ (Timeslides, maybe my favourite line from all of Dwarf)

    Craig – ‘It’s not about the Stirmaster anymore Kryten!!!!!’ (Trojan, lmao well perhaps not, but whatever)
    – ‘Souper!’

    Danny – ‘I’d prefer chicken!’ (Better Than Life)

    Robert – ‘I have a medium-sized fire axe buried in my spinal column.’ (The Inquisitor)t

    #256991
    (deleted)
    Member

    Oh, Danny’s “I will!” after his bulk order of trout a la crème.

    #256992
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    It’s always wwwwiiiinnnnneeeeee

    #256993
    Dave
    Participant

    “Well junior angler’s the best you’re gonna get out of me, buddy!”

    #256994
    Captain Bollocks
    Participant

    Look, Lister, there’s no point feeling sorry about Holly. It’s a kindness. Like a blind old incontinent sheepdog, he’s had his day. Take him out to the barn with a double-barrelled shotgun and blow the mother away.

    #256996
    Taiwan Tony
    Participant

    Well I say let’s get out there and twat it.

    I mean, it got its own t shirt for fucks sake

    #256997
    NoFro
    Participant

    “Maybe you can stick a spike in your head and pretend you’re the Taj Mahal!”

    “Who? Only a Yogurt.”

    “Someone who badly needed a pen.”

    #256998
    Hamish
    Participant

    Not a joke, but I always like how Craig says “stacked to the gills” in Rimmerworld.

    #256999
    si
    Participant

    I’ve always chuckled at The Cat’s “Someone get me a brandy!” in Camille.

    #257000
    Captain Bollocks
    Participant

    I… am Tarka Dal.

    #257001
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    “Well, this is awful. I’ve got you down for sprouts almost every meal. I tell a lie. It is every meal”

    It’s Gordon Fucking Brittas.

    #257017
    Veni
    Member

    It’s not comedic, but Craig’s delivery of:

    “I’m pretty cool, I don’t take any smeg, and even though I’m disgusting, sometimes I can be quite brave.”

    Is brilliant. I love his inflection on “disgusting” leading into “I can be quite brave”, such a lovely way of emphasizing the negative into a positive.

    #257050
    MANI506
    Participant

    Do I ever find my singing tie pin.

    Listen butter pat head.

    I agree with Veni and appreciate BTE more and more for Lister’s character stuff.

    #257051
    McAleeCh
    Participant

    Cat, from Entangled: “We’re all really sorry, bud. Apart from me, and him, and him.”

    That episode may fall apart as it gets further along, but the parts that weren’t hastily rewritten had some great stuff.

    #257057
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    It’s already been said, but “It’s you, isn’t it?” is probably The One for me.

    And “I’ve always got a pen.”

    #257066
    Veni
    Member

    “Oh please sir, don’t order me to help you, you know how much I hate helping you!”

    #257067
    srmcd1
    Participant

    “Then I say fight.”

    #257068
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    “I’m so gorgeous, there’s a six-month waiting list for birds to suddenly appear every time I am near.”

    #257081
    Captain Bollocks
    Participant

    “I’ve been reading that fire exit sign over there.”

    #257082
    Dax101
    Participant

    “quick, let’s get out of here before they bring him back”

    #257083
    Dave
    Participant

    “they were gonna sort that out in the dub”

    #257084
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    “Noel Edmonds….gotta be Noel Edmonds”

    The re-record of “Smeg Ups….gotta be Smeg Ups” was not nearly as good.

    #257085
    clem
    Participant

    “I owe my life to him.”

    #257094
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    “Morning!” from Stoke me a clipper is great.

    That whole scene opening is, VII’s style used well, love that pan across the cockpit.

    #257095
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    “Have you got a pen?”

    ..is the only thing in Entangled worth keeping. Throw the rest in a burning bin, including the context of the line (a shit character has just been killed off and no one cares) , but Criag’s delivery is brilliant.

    #257096
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Yes. Criag.

    #257104
    Hamish
    Participant

    Good or near-perfect cast naming.

    #257105
    srmcd1
    Participant

    “Rimmer, you couldn’t pull a rotten tooth out of a dead horse’s mouth with that one!”

    #257121
    NoFro
    Participant

    Just rewatched Justice and the whole of that courtroom scene is full of great line readings with Bobby obviously stealing the show.

    #257124

    The rate this thread is going we’ll have voted every line in every episode good or near perfect.

    Except for “Starbugs thrusssster” from Cured

    #257125
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    >Except for “Starbugs thrusssster” from Cured

    On the shit list list with “curly shoes and Hugh mass” and “telescape”

    #257127
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    Oh, and for pure grammatical wrongness “I can’t actually see quite clearly” from Out of Time

    #257132
    performingmonkey
    Participant

    ‘The thought occurs…’ all of that is awesome.

    Also, the whole of the ‘well it probably is deja vu’ scene, from Future Echoes, aka one of the best scenes in all of Dwarf.

    #257134
    Veni
    Member

    Every scene from Legion, which has my favorite scene of all of Red Dwarf in it.

    “Ah, Legion, we have considered our position, and have decided our best option is to make a new life here with you!”

    *reveal of the greatest sight gag in Red Dwarf history*

    “You truly believe I would be deceived by that schlock plan from Revenge of the Surfboarding Killer Bikini Vampire Girls?”

    I have vivid memories of laughing my ass off at that scene in particular and I never did laugh at Red Dwarf very much. Also I’ve gained further appreciation for Chris’s delivery of “here with you!” and how obviously phony it sounds (it sounds cut-off so there’s probably a deleted scene but I don’t care).

    #257135
    Veni
    Member

    Honestly, I can write an essay on that scene. How fast-paced the gag is setup and paid off, the complete and utter crapness of the fake Lister coupled with the dramatic walk Legion does toward the table, and the sheer concept that the boys are so idiotic that proves to be their best escape plan. I love, love, love it.

    But anyway, this isn’t about the line itself really, so don’t mind me.

    #257137
    Dave
    Participant

    Legion is brilliant.

    #257138
    Dave
    Participant

    Rimmer’s monologue about why Lister is like his sandwich is one of my favourite bits of Red Dwarf full stop, and I think a lot of that is in the delivery.

    #257139
    Dave
    Participant

    Also: “Because there are nooooo soooounds to hear.”

    #257140

    Also: “Because there are nooooo soooounds to hear.”

    This is probably my favourite suggested so far.

    #257141
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    One of my favourite line deliveries in Red Dwarf is in The Inquisitor: “…and compete in tales of blood-chilling teh-rawrr.” Why is he being so dramatic lmao

    #257146
    clem
    Participant

    Yeah the Surfboarding Killer Bikini Vampire Girls stuff gets me every time, beginning with Lister’s description of the plan as ‘truly award-winning’. The reveal of the front of the sculpture with the face drawn on, the ‘schlock plan’ line, and Lister behind Legion in just his union suit, struggling with the other sculpture, is superb. Really builds beautifully.
    Little wonder Legion finished second in the World Cup of Guest Characters. ‘Yes, of course. Primitive. So basic’ as he pulls the wires out of Rimmer’s light bee is another highlight of an all round excellent performance.

    #257200
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    Duct Soup after Kryten Heimlich’s Kochanski, he says “So if worked then?” She pauses and replies “Noooooo it didn’t work!” and while it’s not a particularly hilarious line in one of the worst episodes of Red Dwarf, it’s delivered brilliantly imo.

    #257220
    Ridley
    Participant

    Baton twirling practice.

    #257222
    (deleted)
    Member

    “When most people think of classic wines, they are unlikely to consider the Estonian reds, yet Estonian grapes are among the fruitiest and most subtle!”

    Mostly because of the way Danny sings the word “fruitiest”.

    #257227
    Dave
    Participant

    Yes, that is good.

    #257228

    “see you in 10 minutes” … the 3rd one though, that’s when he nails it. The rest aren’t as good imo.

    #257231
    si
    Participant

    “Goodness me, it’s Marilyn Monroe!”

    #257236
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    No particular line, but I love the main cult leader dude in Siliconia. A lot of the guest performances in the Dave era are a bit shit, but he really has a unique cadence to the way he speaks, and really involves himself in the role, it’s great to see.

    #257237

    “he’s so warm and snuggly”

    #257238

    Or basically anything from Mr Rat. Danny absolutely nails that performance.

    #257241
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    YEAH.

    #257242
    Veni
    Member

    “Sometimes they even sleep with me.” “MMMMMMMMMMMH. Yeah.”

    It’s amazing they pulled that one off.

    #257258
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    That’s what Lister said.

    #258126
    Dave
    Participant

    “Jump-starts the second big bang?”

    The perfect mixture of contempt and incredulity.

    #258421
    Unrumble
    Participant

    Couple of classics from a scene in an episode stuffed with them:

    Rimmer : You? You’d sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?

    The Cat : No, I’d sacrifice *your* life for the good of the crew!

    Rimmer: Yes, but the thing is, about Captain Oates; the thing you have to
    remember about Captain Oates; Captain Oates … Captain Oates was a
    prat. If that’d been me, I’d’ve stayed in the tent, whacked Scott over
    the head with a frozen husky, and then eaten him.

    #259973
    Rubber
    Participant

    “Then again, possibly not.”

    #259976
    Renegade Rob
    Participant

    Rimmer: “Oh, THAT.”
    From Justice, not the similar gag from Terrorform, which has a decent delivery, but not as perfect as in Justice.

    #259978
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Cat and Lister miming Rimmer’s MacGruder story in Thank for the Memories, followed by Cat’s THAT MANY?!

    #259991
    ARossiEsquire
    Participant

    “And that includes the time it took to eat the PIZZA!”

    #261103
    Dave
    Participant

    “Our main rivals sir, the stairs.”

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