good or near-perfect line readings?

[By Jove its holmes]

My two are:

“You’ve ruined this, Rimmer!”

and

“This is going to be about waffles, isn’t it?”

Topic

[(deleted)]

“I swear, one time I caught this two pound black-ribbed knobbler”

“Look at that! It’s a bucket and spade! Look at that… it’s, it’s clever that, innit?”

(I’ve just realised one of my favourite Red Dwarf bits is in Pete. Something for everyone.)

[Ridley]

Not really, I need it to turn the lights on and off.

[clem]

“And then they did a jigsaw?”

“It’s because I’m Hitler, isn’t it?”

[Dave]

“Ohhhhhh dear…!”

(seeing brain-in-a-jar Lister in Out Of Time)

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Arnold Rimmer, his locker, this morning!

[bloodteller]

“Current under tension is equal? Current under tension is expandable? Current under tension is expensive? What does this MEAN?”

[Dave]

The blue midget is loaded

[Ben Saunders]

Trumped up piscine
Sawed off shotgun

[Stabbim the Skutter]

“He died in a plane crash. He was making love to his 14th wife and lost control of the plane.”
“Have you got any pictures?”
“…Well not of THAT, no!”

[Taiwan Tony]

I’ll second the Ohhhh dear.
And I’ll add “And then, I’m going to have you.”
Basic stuff, but perfect.

[Taiwan Tony]

Craig looking at the photographs of Robert’s erect penis was pretty perfect as well.

[Plastic Percy]

“Man, that’s a fine present. He was probably only expecting a tie.”

[Paul Muller]

“We’re still in deep space sir, only now we’re in deep space in the 15th century!”

Also the slightly deflated “Well, yes.” that follows Rimmer’s line.

[Pete Part Three]

“And you think that’s mine? It’s not possible there is an Andy Hitler or an Ainsley Hitler? And even if it did stand for Adolf, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is mine… Oh no that it is mine.”

I think most people watching that knew how the line was going to end, but the line reading is so good.

[Joe]

Reduced!?

[pi r squared]

…but the line reading is so good.

It really is. On the night of recording, they did that bit a good 5 or 6 times (with, if I recall correctly, variations of the ‘A’ names used instead of Andy and Ainsley) and the “it is mine” line and delivery got a huge laugh every single time.

Also from a guest performance, the brilliant “I’m sure there’s no cause for oh dear” in M-Corp is also one of my favourites.

[Taiwan Tony]

“You can’t have been a full member of the golf club, then.” I cite this one because it’s so easy to fuck it up and he does it excellently.

[Ben Paddon]

“Well, it means you’ve got a more tasteful cockpit.” One of my favorite Holly jokes, one of Hattie’s best reads.

[Ben Saunders]

Almost every Hattie line is delivered well, even when it’s just exposition about opening doors

[Veni]

I’m shocked she never got an Emmy

[pfm]

Norman – ‘and then they did a jigsaw’ (Thanks For The Memory)

Chris – ‘It’s you, isn’t it.’ (Timeslides, maybe my favourite line from all of Dwarf)

Craig – ‘It’s not about the Stirmaster anymore Kryten!!!!!’ (Trojan, lmao well perhaps not, but whatever)
– ‘Souper!’

Danny – ‘I’d prefer chicken!’ (Better Than Life)

Robert – ‘I have a medium-sized fire axe buried in my spinal column.’ (The Inquisitor)t

[(deleted)]

Oh, Danny’s “I will!” after his bulk order of trout a la crème.

[Ben Saunders]

It’s always wwwwiiiinnnnneeeeee

[Dave]

“Well junior angler’s the best you’re gonna get out of me, buddy!”

[Captain Bollocks]

Look, Lister, there’s no point feeling sorry about Holly. It’s a kindness. Like a blind old incontinent sheepdog, he’s had his day. Take him out to the barn with a double-barrelled shotgun and blow the mother away.

[Taiwan Tony]

Well I say let’s get out there and twat it.

I mean, it got its own t shirt for fucks sake

[NoFro]

“Maybe you can stick a spike in your head and pretend you’re the Taj Mahal!”

“Who? Only a Yogurt.”

“Someone who badly needed a pen.”

[Hamish]

Not a joke, but I always like how Craig says “stacked to the gills” in Rimmerworld.

[si]

I’ve always chuckled at The Cat’s “Someone get me a brandy!” in Camille.

[Captain Bollocks]

I… am Tarka Dal.

[Pete Part Three]

“Well, this is awful. I’ve got you down for sprouts almost every meal. I tell a lie. It is every meal”

It’s Gordon Fucking Brittas.

[Veni]

It’s not comedic, but Craig’s delivery of:

“I’m pretty cool, I don’t take any smeg, and even though I’m disgusting, sometimes I can be quite brave.”

Is brilliant. I love his inflection on “disgusting” leading into “I can be quite brave”, such a lovely way of emphasizing the negative into a positive.

[MANI506]

Do I ever find my singing tie pin.

Listen butter pat head.

I agree with Veni and appreciate BTE more and more for Lister’s character stuff.

[McAleeCh]

Cat, from Entangled: “We’re all really sorry, bud. Apart from me, and him, and him.”

That episode may fall apart as it gets further along, but the parts that weren’t hastily rewritten had some great stuff.

[Seb Patrick]

It’s already been said, but “It’s you, isn’t it?” is probably The One for me.

And “I’ve always got a pen.”

[Veni]

“Oh please sir, don’t order me to help you, you know how much I hate helping you!”

[srmcd1]

“Then I say fight.”

[Ben Saunders]

“I’m so gorgeous, there’s a six-month waiting list for birds to suddenly appear every time I am near.”

[Captain Bollocks]

“I’ve been reading that fire exit sign over there.”

[Dax101]

“quick, let’s get out of here before they bring him back”

[Dave]

“they were gonna sort that out in the dub”

[Pete Part Three]

“Noel Edmonds….gotta be Noel Edmonds”

The re-record of “Smeg Ups….gotta be Smeg Ups” was not nearly as good.

[clem]

“I owe my life to him.”

[GlenTokyo]

“Morning!” from Stoke me a clipper is great.

That whole scene opening is, VII’s style used well, love that pan across the cockpit.

[Pete Part Three]

“Have you got a pen?”

..is the only thing in Entangled worth keeping. Throw the rest in a burning bin, including the context of the line (a shit character has just been killed off and no one cares) , but Criag’s delivery is brilliant.

[Pete Part Three]

Yes. Criag.

[Hamish]

Good or near-perfect cast naming.

[srmcd1]

“Rimmer, you couldn’t pull a rotten tooth out of a dead horse’s mouth with that one!”

[NoFro]

Just rewatched Justice and the whole of that courtroom scene is full of great line readings with Bobby obviously stealing the show.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

The rate this thread is going we’ll have voted every line in every episode good or near perfect.

Except for “Starbugs thrusssster” from Cured

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