I had a dream….

[Carlito]

… that I was watching the new episodes of Red Dwarf. All the sets looked really cheap, like they were being filmed in the corridors of a standard office building or something… Rimmer had cancer from spending years inhaling bad chemicals on the erroding ship (which I assume he must have slowed down somehow)… the characters were all hopeless and despondant, depressed from a further ten years of floating aimlessly through space… Kryten kept crashing and rebooting himself for no reason, his system corrupted… there was no Holly… I kept asking myself “is this real or am I dreaming it?” and my mind was saying “no, no… this is real”.

Yikes, I need to get out more.

[Carlito]

How does Rimmer survive the rotting ship then? Anyone wanna place bets?

Maybe he somehow managed to steer the ship to a nearby wormhole into a backwards universe, a la Backwards, which rebuilt the ship and brought the crew back out of the mirror? Nothing spectacular but easily explained to put the final nail in the coffin of that cliffhanger.

[Dave]

>and we have no SMAC

There’s probably some in the back of that taxi

[Carlito]

Danny?

[Carlito]

The worst part was that during my dream I kept thinking to myself “this isn’t funny”.

[Phil]

>Rimmer had cancer

I think you’ve just spoiled the specials.

[Carlito]

Gutted.

[mick]

If you look at your dream again, all you’ve done is had a dream about a future DJ.

[Phil]

Danny?

[Danny Stephenson]

Hello?

[Tarka Dal]

It’s not you, it’s me.

[hummingbird]

OK, so I just dreamed that Chris Barrie was rehearsing a new series of Brittas (and rehearsals, for some strange reason, were taking place in the middle of a large field). I mean, Brittas …? WTF?
Did I say it was a dream? I meant to say nightmare.

*sigh* Is it time for more Dwarf yet?

[John Hoare]

More Brittas would be a dream come true. If Fegen and Norris were writing it, at least…

[Mnoooah]

What are you guys taking to induce these dreams. All I ever get is the falling. The horrible, horrible falling.

[Danny Stephenson]

And then that horrible jerky landing thing you do, when you jolt yourself awake. I hate that.

[cliff]

I had a wierd dream the other night that disturbed me. It involved fighting a six foot Sooty in an art decco hotel reception…

….hope thats in the specials!

[Danny Stephenson]

It involved fighting a six foot Sooty in an art decco hotel reception?

Have you not seen the deleted scene from Better Than Life. That actually happened. You must be just remembering it.

[Carlito]

Jesus, three months on and this looks increasingly more like a premonition than a dream…

[TheLeen]

Oh…

I dreamt I had a baby boy of a few weeks and he started to speak early, and his first words were “lol lol Mommy”.

O_o

[JamesTC]

I had a dream that Red Dwarf IX started and I missed the start, upon watching I can remember the Cat, Lister, Kryten, Rimmer and Kochanski in full canaries outfit in an elevator, thats it. By any measure it is a good dream though.

[Carlito]

On a similar note, I once had a dream that I found out that a Red Dwarf IX was made years ago and I never realised, and couldn’t get hold of a copy of it anywhere. I got really frustrated that it had slipped past my radar and that there was whole series of Red Dwarf out there that I had never seen.

Sad, huh? Dreaming about Red Dwarf.

[ChrisM]

I had a dream about Red Dwarf a couple of weeks back.

I’ve forgotten it though (like I do most of my dreams.) but I think it was related to the new episodes.

My entry for the Most Exciting Post of the Year Award.

[Danny Stephenson]

Hehe, editing your typo doesn’t mean other people didn’t spot it :)

[ChrisM]

Heh.

Yeah. I have a habit of noticing typos after I’ve actually posted. If it’s minor I’d sometimes leave it, but I thought that one was probably a bit of a bigee.

[Dave]

>I thought that one was probably a bit of a bigee.

biggy?

[Ben Paddon]

Biggie.

[Carlito]

Bee Gee.

[ChrisM]

It’s ok. It’s not a real word anyway.

That’s my ekskoose.
;)

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

Ex-Scouse? How do you accomplish that?

[ChrisM]

>Ex-Scouse? How do you accomplish that?

Live most of your life in Londong having moved down from Liverpool at a young age maybe?

[Ian Symes]

Getting a job.

[ChrisM]

Londong = London.

Smegging butter fingers. (This must be a record.)

[Mnoooah]

> Londong

Your guerilla advertising for gay porn isn’t fooling anyone.

[ChrisM]

Drat! Foiled again!

[Mnoooah]

Hey, I didn’t say it wasn’t welcome, just that we weren’t fooled by it. :P

[JamesTC]

I had a really weird dream about the new Red Dwarf specials, the gang were on earth with Holly who was in Hattie form and had a body too! Lister wanted to stay on earth but then Kryten convinced him not to by telling him they have poisoned powdered curry, they then walked down the street and a very squashed Star Bug was towering over the street, I’m not sure if that is a good or a bad dream.

[peas_and_corn]

I had a dream that I was getting a blowjob from Belladonna and then my girlfriend told me to stop humping her back.

[Phil]

I had a dream that peas_and_corn’s girlfriend told me to stop humping her front.

[locusceruleus]

I had a dream and you were there, with your back up against my view.

[Carlito]

Also forgot to mention, in my original dream Rimmer had the tunic uniform, but it was brown.

Yes… brown.

Like shit.

[Phil]

Last night I dreamed that I was on a bus with a friend of mine, and he was being harassed by a female midget dressed like the Noid from the Domino’s Pizza ads. The Noid suit was made of really thick foam and she was groping him and grinding against him no matter how much he pushed her away.

Eventually we (the other passengers and I) convinced him to just let her grope him so that she’d get bored with it and go away.

[si]

>Holly who was in Hattie form and had a body too!

I remember a Smegazine strip where Holly had a body, where she wore a skintight sparkly red catsuit.

I have an eye for detail.

[Ridley]

I keep visualising Ben as Roger Rabbit and his time at Disney like Valiant’s trips into Toontown.

[Danny Stephenson]

Disney is actually like that though, isn’t it? All the cartoon characters walking about and stuff yeah?

[hummingbird]

They all live in the big castle thing too. I have it on the best authority.

[Carlito]

> I remember a Smegazine strip where Holly had a body, where she wore a skintight sparkly red catsuit.

Wasn’t it a Jake Bullet strip?

[Ben Paddon]

Ridley says…
I keep visualising Ben as Roger Rabbit and his time at Disney like Valiant?s trips into Toontown.

So I’m a cartoon character on his first trip into Toon Town? Was I adopted? Did they find my little baby rabbitty self under a pub pool table?

Danny Stephenson followed that up with…
Disney is actually like that though, isn?t it? All the cartoon characters walking about and stuff yeah?

If it makes you happy.

[si]

>> I remember a Smegazine strip where Holly had a body, where she wore a skintight sparkly red catsuit.

>Wasn?t it a Jake Bullet strip?

No. They were inside Lister’s head or something.

[Tarka Dal]

A thought occurs. I had a new episodes dream a couple of nights ago. I can’t remember smeg all about it now, but I definetly remember waking up thinking I’d just seen the new eps.

[Dave]

I have never dreamt about Red Dwarf

[Tarka Dal]

Do Daleks dream of Silicon Heaven?

[TheLeen]

I had a dream about Satan’s Alley.

[Tyrell Corporation]

Ah you’ve slept with my ex as well then.

[Dave]

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”

[Tyrell Corporation]

I once had a dream I was being chased by Bert and Ernie and my legs wouldn’t work correctly.

[si]

I had a dream the other week that I was in intensive care and I couldn’t make out what was happening. Then I woke up, and I hadn’t been dreaming…

[Tyrell Corporation]

Were you in Life On Mars?

[si]

No, I always dress like this.

[Ian Symes]

I had a dream the other week that I was in intensive care and I couldn?t make out what was happening. Then I woke up, and I hadn?t been dreaming?

Si, I think you should mention this a few more times. There’s still about three people on the entire internet that don’t know you were in hospital last week.

[si]

It wasn’t last week, it was the week before. I went in on the morning of the 26th, and came out ten days later, which included three days in intensive care…

Yes, I know it’s boring, sorry. It was also quite scary and unbelievable. And I did think I was dreaming at the time, and couldn’t wake up.

I’ll stop going on about it now.

[Dave]

>I went in on the morning of the 26th, and came out ten days later

The 36th?

[Tanya Jones]

What actually happened to you, Si?

[si]

Diabetic Ketoacidosis, kinda like a Diabetic Coma. Left my parents on the sunday night, got home, and can’t remember a thing from then until I woke up in hospital, having had a fit or several, bashing myself about, with bloodied toes, cuts and bruises all over my legs, arms, back, head…the works.

If it’s of any amusement to anyone, I was only wearing my underpants when I was found wandering in the back yard on the monday morning, in a ‘state of confusion’. Ho hum.

Right, that’s it, No more from me, honest.

[Mr Flibble]

Yes, I know it?s boring, sorry. It was also quite scary and unbelievable. And I did think I was dreaming at the time, and couldn?t wake up.

I?ll stop going on about it now.

Intensive care isn’t the handicap it used to be in the olden days.

[Tanya Jones]

You poor sod, Si. Look after yourself, for god’s sake. I’ve seen the damage that diabetes can do to people.

[Carlito]

I have now officially dreamt about these new Red Dwarf specials four times. That’s bordering on obsession. My poor brain.

Last night I dreamt a scene set in Starbug cockpit, except it didn’t look like Starbug cockpit, it was clearly just a square white room (like in a house) decorated to mildly resemble a cockpit, and… hmm… you know how, mainly in American shows, when the characters are in a car and the backdrop (the view through the windows) is SO obviously fake… as in that car is clearly stationary in some studio, either with blue screen background or a moving image being projected behind it… I mean, a lot of shows do this but do it really well, but sometimes it’s so blatantly fake (they spoofed it in Naked Gun and Police Squad too)… ya know what I’m on about, anyway, there was a LOT of that going on and it looked absolutely awful.

What is it they say again about people who think their dreams are interesting to everybody else…?

[Ben Paddon]

I had a pretty vivid dream last night about the specials, actually.\\

I’m on set, present for the filming of the specials. Specifically, Robert Llewellyn has invited me and I’m helping him record a production videoblog for his YouTube channel (or possibly the DVDs). I’m filming him and following him around. At first I think we might be on the Corrie set, but later I realise we were in a studio backlot – specifically CBS Radford in Studio City, California. That’s probably just my subconscious using pre-existing memories of my experience on-set to fill in the blanks, though.

At an early point in the dream, Robert asks me to hand him the camera so he can film me and ask me some questions about my feelings, as a fan, to the new specials. There is some pretty spiffy scenery behind me – a lifesize underside of Starbug circa Series II. At this point Doug Naylor walks past us and scolds Robert for getting shots of this as-yet-unseen thing. He was playing it very safe considering the press buzz around production lately.

It’s later, and I’ve been roped in to act as an extra. I’m in holding, but there are… well, no other extras. None at all. Which is weird, because holding is huge. Tons of seats, and tables with the usual water cooler and donut boxes one expects with this sort of work. I barely get a chance to sit down before a gentleman I identify by sight as Andrew Ellard, despite never having actually seen a photo of him, walks in to let me know I’m needed on set.

The scene that’s being filmed is… well, it’s very strange. It’s shot not in a studio but on the streets surrounding the studio. A small cottage had been purpose-built for this shot. Peering through the window, I could see Danny John-Jules. He waves at me, one of his fake teeth falling out in the process. He then accidentally puts his hand through the (apparently not very sturdy) wall, but none of the production team care because the cottage is about to be blown up.

Craig, Danny, Chris and Robert leave the cottage, in costume (Danny was wearing something different from the photos we’ve seen, but nothing I’d seen in the show previously) and the five of us stood out of shot as we watched the effects team finish rigging up the cottage. Everything is in place.

“Rolling!”

The set goes quiet.

“Background!”

…Oh, shit. No one’s given me any instruction! What am I supposed to do? Chris gently taps me on the shoulder and points down the street, just beyond the cottage. I’m supposed to walk past and react as it explodes, it seems. So I begin walking.

I walk along, approaching the cottage… beside the cottage, passing the cot– BOOM! The cottage explodes outwards and upwards, debris flying everywhere. I flinch and look at the thing in shock – no acting required here – as Starbug is now ascending, having apparently been inside the bloody cottage. I watch as it takes off, all the while thinking that the CG really has improved since series VIII.

Then I remember that the CG is usually added afterwards, not during. I decide it must be a real ship. How do they have the money for a real ship in the budget? Was Carbug a red herring? Wait, no. This is all a bit silly, isn’t it? Must be a dr–

I wake up.

[Carlito]

Nothing worse than when your mind identitifies that you are dreaming DURING a good dream, which then usually results in you instantly waking up thanks to a lethal dose of reality being injected into your until then totally absorbed ‘this-IS-happening’ subconsciousness. Bloody spoilsport brain.

[si]

Thanks Tanya. Nice to know SOMEBODY cares…

(Damn it. I said I was done, didn’t I? Oh well, sod it.)

[JamesTC]

I feel sorry for ya Si, I can’t imagine that happening to me, the only time I ever went to hospital was when I was in Primary School and walked into a wall, slip my leg open.
I have fainted though back when I was in High School, I said to my Dad “I can;t go into school I feel sick” and he told me I had to (I am not one to just say I am sick for a day off). I got through the day and in the night in Bootle Town Hall we had an award evening, I got one for attendance, they made us all stand up for 45 minuted as they praised some kid, I was really sick, nothing to lean on and was stud up for 45 minutes infront of about 700 people (possibly more), I fainted, I woke up about 40 seconds later with loads of people around me dazed and confused, the nest thing I remember is being in the car outside Sainsburys. So there you have it, the one time I faint and it is infront of 700 people including half of my school. Rather ironic thinking about it, I fainted while getting an award for attendance which caused me to have the next day off, my first day off High School.

[Ben Paddon]

Sorry to have ignored your posts, Si. I woke up this morning and I had to write down my dream… I guess I overlooked your stuff. Very rude of me. I apologise. I hope you’re doing better now, though. My mother is diabetic and had an episode very similar to yours about three years ago, so I know how your family must have felt.

neeandercarl: I used to have lucid dreams, on average, three times a week. I had a bout of insomnia a year ago and started taking some herbal sleep remedy, and since then they’ve been far and few between (although they are becoming more frequent again).

[Phil]

Ben:

That post about your dream is one of my favorite that I’ve ever seen on this site.

[ChrisM]

>Nothing worse than when your mind identitifies that you are dreaming DURING a good dream,

If you don’t wake up it can be pretty cool. If you know you’re dreaming… you can take control of it.

My dreams nowadays (when I have them) are usually vague, more like nonsensical thoughts than proper dreams. (They were more realistic, even terrifying when I was a kid though. I’m not sure they were ever as realistic as they appear in films though, you know where things seem just as real as life.)

I had one a year or two ago which was pretty vague, then suddenly realised I was dreaming. I focused and everything sharpened up, almost real. I’ve often fancied the idea of flying so I took off… only to wake up when I was a few feet off the ground. (sigh).

I’ve had a couple of dreams concerning the specials. I’ve completely forgotten the first. I’ve forgotten most of the second too, but I have a vague idea of it being very un-Dwarf like, especially the Earth stuff. (I have a vague idea it was about Lister lost on Earth, no doubt from the paper speculation, but I’m not sure.) There was also an on-ship scene (the walls were all white) where another crewmember is being brought out of stasis. I wondered about that (since there are only 2 booths) but it turns out it was a cryo form of freezing.

Wonderfully exciting as you can tell. (Sarcasm aside I felt quite thrilled at the time though.)

I witnessed this as if I was there not watching the tele, but not like Ben’s dream. More like I was in the world of the programme, rather than on set.

That’s about it. Terrifically exciting as you can tell.

[Mr Flibble]

Si – sorry for not wishing you well, I do, and I hope everything works out OK.

But the thread seemed to have gone to “let’s think of silly things to say” mode. So I did that instead. :)

[si]

>But the thread seemed to have gone to ?let?s think of silly things to say? mode. So I did that instead. :)

This is G&T – what thread doesn’t?

[Danny Stephenson]

I’ve only had two lucid dreams, that I am aware of. One involved me eating a CD that a friend got from a library, and he got all pissed off that he couldn’t take it back and would get fined. And i turned round to him and said “It’s alright, mate, Doesn’t matter. it’s a dream…”

And the other was fairly recent, can’t remember details but was able to control the environment, to change the dream as i saw fit, if you will.

[Ian Symes]

So, who did you bone?

[locusceruleus]

>I once had a dream I was being chased by Bert and Ernie and my legs wouldn?t work correctly.

Sounds fairly evenly matched there then.

Worst. Chase scene. Ever.

[Ben Paddon]

Phil gone dun sed…
That post about your dream is one of my favorite that I?ve ever seen on this site.

Aww.

[si]

I had a dream last night…

It was just brief, and I was watching new footage of a read through for the new eps, but Norm was there, with hair, looking scarily like Gene Wilder.

That is all.

[Carlito]

I have strange thoughts when I’m asleep. My favourite one is that I’m in a garden. I’ve never even seen a garden… except in books.

[Blisschick]

I’ve always had very vivid, weird, movie-like dreams. And yes, realizing that you’re dreaming and waking up is always a joy-kill, especially when you’re enjoying the heck out of the freaky alternate reality. On a couple occasions a long time ago I was actually able to continue the dream, oddly, but I haven’t done that since. I was coming down off some medication a couple of years ago and discovered lucid dreaming, which was really freaky. I was having trouble distinguishing between actually being awake and realizing that I was still dreaming, but then I figured out how to tell by whether or not my bedroom door was actually open and light coming in (my door is usually closed).

I’ve had Superman get things for me off the top shelf in the grocery store, turned into Donny Osmond while trying to escape a prisoner camp, my kids turning into Dachunds, and came up with more story ideas that I can shake a stick at. My daughter and I were talking the other day about how we can be singing a song in our dream and know all the words, but when we wake up, we can’t remember what it was and how much that bugs us. I’m sure I’ve created a few top singles I’ve forgotten.

[Blisschick]

Crud, I *just* remembered my dream from last night…

I had a stray cat follow me home. She was pregnant and I felt sorry for her even though I knew my husband would be mad for letting her in. She then went between my bar and couch and gave birth. I got a box and started putting them in, and kittens kept materializing left and right, in matching pairs, all with their eyes open and moving around. The cat ended up having 13 kittens. I was kind of worried because the cat only had 12 tits and I would have to bottle feed one for her.

[si]

*backs away slowly*

How could she have 13 kittens if they were materializing in pairs?

[JamesTC]

It was a dream, doesn’t need to make sense.

[Blisschick]

Okay, well, the 13th threw me off…I couldn’t find a match. I was just amazed that the cat had that many and remember wondering if she’d broken some kind of record.

[Phil]

>I?ve always had very vivid, weird, movie-like dreams.

Am I the only one whose dreams will sometimes (not always, but often enough) feature credit sequences?

[Blisschick]

That hasn’t happened…yet. What do you eat/drink/smoke before this happens?

[JamesTC]

>Am I the only one whose dreams will sometimes (not always, but often enough) feature credit sequences?

Do you ever dream of the DVD release of your dream?

[Phil]

>What do you eat/drink/smoke before this happens?

God knows. I really should start taking note of that, though…

I’ve never had an opening credit sequence, but sometimes, I guess after my brain has decided that the dream is “cinematic” enough, I’ll get a closing credits reel when the dream ends. Or, I guess, before the dream becomes a different dream entirely.

It’s happened at least three times that I remember…

>Do you ever dream of the DVD release of your dream?

Yes, and it includes a musical featurette with clips of me drinking hard cider through the years set to the tune of Tubthumping.

[Mr Flibble]

Yes, and it includes a musical featurette with clips of me drinking hard cider through the years set to the tune of Tubthumping.

Phil, you’re on top form today.

[Carlito]

This is getting silly. I dreamt I was watching new Red Dwarf last night. I do not remember specifics, but this time round I remember thinking it was superb. Which is a contrast to all the other times I’ve dreamt about it.

So all the news and photos et al have seemingly alleviated all my subconscious fears. Up the ziggurat, licketysplit.

[Jo]

I had a few weird dreams the other night – one was that Craig Charles came to my place of work and talked my bosses into giving me a promotion.

The other was that our new house had no roof and we hadn’t noticed – in fact we only noticed when pigeons kept getting in. We were throwing them out of the window and we couldn’t work out how they kept coming back in, until we looked up and saw… no roof.

These dreams were sponsored by Diazepam.

[JamesTC]

I had a dream were I met Craig Charles, he was wearing that outfit he was in that bunk room picture, we went down loads of stairs and that is all I can remember.

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

Oh yeah, I had one too a while ago. Apparently in my subconscious, Lister had a college-aged daughter, and they both lived in…something mobile (a refurbished space vessel?) that moved on land and was big enough to have several rooms in it, including a horrifyingly messy kitchen. There was also a very active thunderstorm in the distance. (I blame the key-lime-pie-flavored yogurt I had before bed.)

Also,
>Am I the only one whose dreams will sometimes (not always, but often enough) feature credit sequences?

Sometimes I dream in SNES-era video games. I’ll be doing something in first person, and then it’ll pull back to a Zelda 3-style top-down view, or maybe a Final Fantasy-type battle screen. (I have no excuse for these; I’m just strange.)

[Phil]

If I could dream in the style of Zelda 3, I’d never want to wake up.

[Ben Paddon]

I’ve had a recurring dream over the past couple of weeks wherein I’ve been working on a new series of Red Dwarf novels for Penguin and GNP set within the continuity of the television show.

Which would, y’know, be nice.

[Ben Paddon]

I had a dream last night that Dave were repeating Back To Earth in the middle of the day. And as, for some reason, I was able to get Dave here in the US, and as I don’t have a fucking job at the moment, I decided to watch it.

It was completely different – rewritten, reshot, everything. No squid, no Katerina, no metafictional element. They’re still on Earth in the early part of the 21st century, but the reasons for them being there have totally changed.

The story is now a Dwarfesque spin on Star Trek: First Contact. It still opens with the sneeze and the grave, but then there’s a huge tremour that shakes the ship. The four Dwarfers head up to the Navigation Deck where Holly (played by Hattie) informs them that there’s a fleet of Simulant vessels. The Simulants open comms and make a few vague threats about the Dwarfers’ lives being largely inconsequential and that soon they won’t have happened at all, then they open an Orange Whirly Thing in Space and start travelling through. The Dwarfers quickly load up Starbug and follow them before the hole closes.

They arrive in London, trying to find evidence of the Simulants’ presence. I remember an alleyway, and a chase sequence, and then I was woken up because I’d knocked the lamp off of my bedside table in the night. When i went back to sleep I dreamt I met Dave Gorman at an outdoor market in Burbank.

The only thing I remember as I watched this new, fake Back To Earth is me thinking, “Bloody Hell, I need to get onto Ganymede & Titan and let everybody know. I wonder if this will be on the DVD?”

[Stabbim the Skutter]

> If I could dream in the style of Zelda 3, I?d never want to wake up.

Now you’ve got me pining for dreams styled like Donkey Kong Country 2’s gorgeous graphics…

[pfm]

You can make them go that way and you can make them go that way but you can’t make them go that way. Imagine dreaming about that and waking up screaming…

That would be much like a Zelda dream I would often have of playing Majora’s Mask for 2 hours before it crashed due to the splidding (yeah, ‘splidding’) memory expansion pack overheating as usual. Thus I would have to start at the beginning of the First Day again like a reet fucker, but obviously not before copious bouts of weeping and the ritual breaking of various items in my room, rounded off by a random attempt at smothering myself with a cushion, then the expansion pack should have cooled enough to start again and everything would be alright (all right) again.

Wait that wasn’t a dream, that was my life solely consisted of for about a year.

[Author]

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