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  • #1903
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    This is possibly one of the best quizzes, like, EVUR. It’s hard to say why I’ve come to love quite so much, but I think it has a lot to do with the amount I can participate in it. It’s jolly good fun. That, and Donny Osmond is an absolute revelation. He’s such a fantastic and charismatic presenter. Such a shame the cocking GOLF knocked it off the schedules today.

    #124727
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Was that sarcasm? I can never tell…

    #124728
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    No!

    #124729
    Phil
    Participant

    Wait, was THAT sarcasm?

    #124730
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Don’t make me smack you upside your head!

    NO, seriously, I completely and unironically love identity and I think Donny Osmond is a brilliant presenter. Seriously.

    God, I hate sarcasm. it muddies the waters too much.

    #124731
    Phil
    Participant

    Surely THAT’s sarcastic.

    #124732
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    I’m soooooooooooooooo sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry…

    #124734
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    You need to start working in an office 9 to 5 (sorry, 10.30 to 19.00) again, you daytime telly-watching layabout.

    #124735
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I’m still addicted to Deal or No Deal.

    It’s just a fantastically produced programme. And Noel Edmonds is still one of the best presenters around.

    #124736
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > You need to start working in an office 9 to 5 (sorry, 10.30 to 19.00) again, you daytime telly-watching layabout.

    Thus, I believe the saying goes, I win.

    > I?m still addicted to Deal or No Deal.

    Yeah, me too. This is the first time I’ve had a proper chance to watch ti every day. I;’I’ve been waiting ages for one of the spectacularly pretty girls to be picked to play, but with no luck.

    I know what you mean about Noel, too, but I honestly find Donny a much more natural and charismatic presenter. He can do banter better and with less awkwardness, I think. Also, he says ‘identity’ funny.

    #124738
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I’ve never actually seen Identity. I’ll give it a watch.

    I’m desperately waiting for Andrea’s game on DOND. I’ve usually got one or two BIRDS on the go at once.

    #124739
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > Andrea

    Ho yes. There’s a couple more but I’ve forgotten their names. I’m such a slut.

    #124740
    pfm
    Participant

    I haven’t watched it that much but I hate it when they reveal someone’s identity, the length of the pause with the music in the background, you just want to slap them round the face and scream ‘well are you the bloody belly dancer or WHAT?!?!???’

    And the forced Donny Osmond catchphrase – ‘Milkman…..deal…or no…er I mean is…that…your…IDENDIDDIDY??’ and then the cheesy scripted responses – ‘Two extra pints for you in the morning, Karen, yes I am your milkman!’ And what’s with the fucking ‘experts’ at the side advising them who to pick. For frak’s sake, the whole game could be over in 10 minutes if they didn’t have to listen to that load of babbling fuckwits and all the effing and jeffing over ‘sealing’ an identity. ‘Go ahead and seal that idendedy!’ seal your frakkin’ mouth maybe!

    Deal Or No Deal is shit – fact. 15-To-One is being repeated somewhere and it reminds you how it changed from 15 fairly intelligent people stood around answering questions to a load of gimps who can just about manage to open a fucking cardboard box and do prompted ‘shock’ reactions whenever it’s a red like performing fucking monkeys and Edmonds is the organ grinder. ‘See you after the break, I know you’ll be back’ How the frak do you know I’ll be back after the break, you cosmic-ordering cuntwit? HOW?? The ?250,000’s gone, the ?100,000’s gone, the ?75,000’s gone but the ‘contestant’ is always like ‘it’s alright, it’s alright’ and carries on like gimboid, you can guarantee if you turn over to it later on there’ll be just ?1,000 and ?1 left or something and they still don’t deal on ?300 or whatever they’re offered. Your like ‘you greedy ignorant CUNT, why are you even on there taking up game time from people who would be more than happy with the ?10,000 you were offered five phone calls ago! Get off my stage!!!’

    The end.

    #124742
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I don’t think the shock reactions are prompted at all – certainly, that’s not the impression people I know who have been to recordings have got. You’ve got to remember that those people live together in a hotel the entire time they’re on the show, and really get to know and care for each other. The reactions are completely genuine.

    As for how the contestants behave – I think you’re talking rubbish! Not all contestants play it badly by all means…

    I certainly think Noel has his faults as a presenter of the show – I don’t like some of what he says, especially his obsession with “courage” – but he does so much else right, including making me laugh hysterically throughout each episode, that I can forgive his faults.

    #124745
    pfm
    Participant

    > Not all contestants play it badly by all means?

    I know that, but it’s the sheer indifference of some of them that infuriates me. I don’t know how they can carry on living when they ‘no deal’ on anything over ?20,000 and then proceed to lose it all and they don’t even react. It’s a good job the audience actually do give the OTT reactions because it would be extremely boring without them.

    > I don?t like some of what he says, especially his obsession with ?courage?

    He really does egg them on in the name of great television (or should I say ‘shit television’, I do hate this show after all…). What gets me is that every single game is an ‘extraordinary’ or ‘amazing’ one.

    #124752
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    > cosmic-ordering cuntwit

    Wow I loled.

    In a library.

    I’m getting stares.

    #124759
    Dave
    Participant

    I hate Dead Or No Deal so much. The implication that there is any skill involved is laughable. The bilge at the beginning with Dead Aunty Annie’s photo and lucky numbers.

    Identity is bollocks too, but notable for the desperate z list celebrities who appear as silent props: Deborah Watling (listed not as Actress but as 60’s Doctor Who Assistant) and some designer strumpet from BBC1.

    What happened to quiz shows with questions in?

    #124777
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    What happened to You Bet. They could easily bring that back!

    #124785
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I hate Dead Or No Deal so much. The implication that there is any skill involved is laughable.

    The skill is weighing up the risk as to whether to go on or not. Half of the interest in the show is examining people’s attitude towards risk and reward.

    The other half is all the interaction between Noel, the Banker, the contestant, and the other players – the jokes, the banter, and getting to know people… and also the psychological game between the player and the banker, which also has an impact on the offers (and another reason why it’s FAR more than just luck). It’s why those things on YouTube where they edit the show down to a minute and a half COMPELTELY miss the point – they edit out all the stuff that is actually interesting about the show.

    The bilge at the beginning with Dead Aunty Annie?s photo and lucky numbers.

    I find that stuff fascinating. Not because I agree with any of it – what the boxes contain is purely a matter of luck (not the game itself – just what’s in the boxes), and you’d be better off boning up on your stats knowledge than bigging up photos of your dead grandma – but again, it’s people’s attitudes towards that kind of thing that I find interesting.

    What happened to quiz shows with questions in?

    They’re still out there! Although yes, I’d like a few more really good ones. But I don’t see why a show based on statistics can’t be fascinating – why does it always have to be questions? There’s room for everything.

    But then, I wouldn’t call Deal or no Deal a quiz show. I’d call it a game show. And one of the funniest, best-produced, most interesting game shows on telly – or any show full-stop, for that matter.

    #124786
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    The three best game shows ever : The Crystal Maze, The Krypton Factor and Knightmare. None of which are quiz shows. As John says, there’s a difference.

    In an ideal world, it’s true, 15 to 1 (the best “pure” quiz there’s ever been) would still be running. But you can’t blame DOND, as it’s a completely different kind of show. And if you want a “quiz show with questions”… try Eggheads.

    #124793
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    There was the 50 or the 100 best Kids TV Shows on Channel 4. You never really realise how much you liked something til the theme tune gives you goosebumps, like Knightmare did. Fucking excellent.

    #124797
    pfm
    Participant
    #124798
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Knightmare is one of the best shows ever made, full-stop.

    And the worst thing is – it’s EXACTLY the kind of show that just wouldn’t be made nowadays. Nobody really wants to fund much programming aimed at the kind of audience Knightmare was aimed at (older kids) – and especially stuff as ground-breaking (ie. untested) and expensive as Knightmare. Indeed, the reasons Knightmare was cancelled are much the same reasons why it would never be made today, only more so.

    #124805
    Tarka Dal
    Participant

    > And if you want a ?quiz show with questions?? try Eggheads.

    And with that sentence you’ve just lost the right to even talk to me. WAS THAT SARCASM? Eggheads is seriously bad, it suffers from the same issue as the recent saturday night BBC Quiz thing. In a quiz – I want questions and I want answers. What isn’t needed is the Eggheads approach where contenstants give their life story every bloody answer explaining why they picked the answer they picked. The saturday evening Nation’s Best Quizzer (or whatever it was) was similar dire in that the entire show was a cut and shut X-factor production with the songs replaced by small bursts of Quiz. These were great, but then we’d have to have short films of each contenstant spouting bullshit about why they were going to win and worse ‘experts’ disecting their quiz talent. It’s answering questions ffs! Bring back The Movie Game.

    #124869
    Somebody
    Participant

    When did this get kicked back to half-two?

    #124873
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    The Movie Game! That was awesome. I seem to remember Philip Schofield hosting that, am I wrong about that?

    #124879
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Yeah, that’s right. John Barrowman did it for a while as well.

    #124881
    pfm
    Participant

    THE MOVIE GAME! Wow, that takes me back. What a GREAT show. Jonathan Morris hosting. And I can’t believe it has never even occured to me that it was John Barrowman who hosted the last series or so. What a mad career that guy has had.

    #124883
    Dave
    Participant

    My school went on The Movie Game and they were rubbish.

    Didn’t Philip Schofield present it as well?

    #124884
    Dave
    Participant

    My school went on The Movie Game and they were rubbish.

    Didn’t Philip Schofield present it as well?

    #124886
    Nakrophile
    Participant

    Is – that – your – identity?

    #119469
    John Hoare
    Participant

    The amount of fucking people on Deal Or No Deal who can’t count up to five. And sometimes even three.

    If I was the banker, I’d halve any offer I was going to make to anyone who did that. If they can’t count, how are they going to be able to judge a good offer?

    #119470
    TheLeen
    Participant

    How do I put it to you?

    THE BANKER IS A LIE.

    There. I said it. There is no such thing as a “banker”, you dorks.

    #119471
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Well, there is. Glen Hugill, the executive producer, is the banker on the UK version. Of course, he’s playing a part, but then we all know that.

    Of course, it’s fair to say that the banker’s role is to make an entertaining show, rather than to save money. Sometimes the two objectives match, and sometimes they don’t…

    #119474
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I always thought Noel should answer each phone call by mumbling “oh, it’s the fucking banker, what the fuck do you want?” in a Yorkshire accent.

    #119478
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    I’ll dub.

    #119482
    Jo
    Participant

    Identity is awesome, is it new episodes on now or repeats?
    They had one with Jet from Gladiators on it a few months ago, bloody hell she must’ve had a hard life!! :oS

    #119495
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    She was on You Bet for a time as well as the location task presenter.

    Man they need to bring back You Bet, don’t they?

    #119502
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Man they need to bring back You Bet, don?t they?

    I’ve got a feeling they might. Ant and Dec did a version for the US – I can see them bringing it back here.

    Same with Gladiators, actually. A new US version, a new Australian version, the fact that – once you get rid of the whole STEROID ABUSE issue – it taps into the whole keeping fit thing, the fact that ITV need a big entertainment show… I can see it happening.

    I really hope they bring back at least one of them. A good format is a good format.

    #119508
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    A Gladiators resurrection would be great. As would The Crystal Maze and The Krypton Factor.

    #119509
    TheLeen
    Participant

    I vote for Krypton Factor.

    I remember it being on for one season only in Germany; I was a kid but I loved it and in the end of the last show the host said “see you in September then, after our summer break” – and it never came back!

    Since there was no internet back then (at least not for me), I couldn’t read up on it anywhere… and it’s probably really weird that I remember it at all. I must have been, what, 10 or so.

    Wow. So that, too, was stolen from British telly.

    *shakes head and walks out of the room*

    #119510
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Krypton Factor was astonshingly difficult. But with the digital age and the Red Button ting, i’m sure they’d find a way you can play along with it.

    #119511
    TheLeen
    Participant

    I really just remember the ladder game. And the colour blue. Everything was tinted blue.

    #119513
    John Hoare
    Participant

    The Krypton Factor was an AMAZING show. I loved it at the time, and watching it on Challenge now, the thing that strikes you is the sheer production value that went into it. It looks gorgeous. And is massively entertaining as well, of course. When was the last time ITV did a gameshow that brilliantly?

    ITV used to be so good at putting production value on-screen. Take Blockbusters – your typical daytime gameshow, but just brilliantly produced. What other daytime gameshow would build a model city and shoot it in 35mm on a motion-control rig – just for the opening titles? And the music has to be some of the best music ever written for a quiz show – a million miles away from the pap that most quizzes use these days. (WWTBAM excepted.)

    Nowaways… I dunno. Stuff like I’m A Celebrity, however you feel about them, are well produced… but there’s nothing that makes me sit back and go “fucking hell”. Stuff like The Krypton Factor and Blockbusters had real class to the production. And then when you look at Gladiators, which REALLY pushed the boat out in terms of production value… somewhere along the way, partly because of penny-pinching, and partly because of the merging of most of the franchises, ITV forgot how to make telly like this. If only it could get it back.

    (Having said all of of that, I really like the set of Golden Balls.)

    #119514
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Oh, and The Crystal Maze is ace, obviously.

    Challenge (I *think* with a co-production with five, but I may be wrong) were going to bring it back a few years ago – but decided against it because they couldn’t match the production values. Which is admirable of them, I guess. If only C4 would bring it back. They need another gameshow. (I’ve never thought of Big Brother as a gameshow, really.)

    #119515
    Andrew
    Participant

    I have to say, I really don’t think Joe Public spent a lot of time sitting back and going “Fucking hell” when it came to The Krypton Factor and Blockbusters. They generally just went “oh, this is on’…

    #119516
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Well, maybe not, but they were both fantastically popular.

    Just because the general public doesn’t think in the terms that TV nerds do on things like this, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have an impact on the wider audience. It just has a more subtle, unacknowledged one.

    #119517
    John Hoare
    Participant

    It also has to be said that I’m not saying great production with quizshows and gameshows like this is entirely dead.

    Take Deal or No Deal. The opening titles and music aren’t great, but once you get into the actual show, for a show with such a rigid structure, it’s ENDLESSLY inventive, with pretty much every aspect of the show. They even opened the show with a outtake the other week – purely because it was fucking hilarious. And really beautifully shot at times, too.

    And the result? Deal or No Deal is one of the most popular shows Channel 4 has.

    #119520
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Speaking of quiz/gameshow revivals, Challenge nearly pulled off a blinder with their Bullseye revival. A great set, they didn’t mess with the (still excellent) format too much, and – most importantly – Dave Spikey was the PERFECT choice of host (almost better than Jim Bowen – and I love the original to bits). But it was let down by two things. (Well, and the fact that the music during the rounds was nowhere near as good as the original, but I won’t dwell on that.)

    One – the self-awareness of it. Audience clapping during the opening title music, and laughing over Bully’s prize board. It takes you right out of the game, and makes you far too aware you’re watching an ironic revival. Which would be fine – perhaps even nice – for a one-off, but for a whole series, it grates tremendously. The nostalgia was already there with everything else – it didn’t need ladling on.

    Two – and more importantly – the contestants. They were – not to put too fine a point on it – RUBBISH AT DARTS. Whereas in the original series, they could actually play. This made the game both uninteresting to watch, and – crucially – made it seem like the contestants were entering as part of the whole ironic thing, rather than to actually play the fucking game. This pretty much wrecked the show by about five episodes in.

    I can’t say I like the new Family Fortunes much either – but I don’t like the celebrity angle, and I don’t like Vernon Kay. (Who is, to be far, FAR more bearable than he used to be – but still not someone I really enjoy watching.) I find it difficult to get past those two elements, really.

    I wish I’d seen more of ITV’s Gameshow Marathon. From what I recall of the first series, it worked really well…

    #119521
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Yeah the Gameshow Marathon was a brilliant idea, I watched them religiously.

    #119522
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Hey, is this where I should recycle my awesome Crystal Maze proposal I’ve bored you all with before?

    Oh, alright then.

    #119523
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Yep, It’s still a fucking amazing idea! This would work SOOOOOOOOOO well!!

    #119524
    John Hoare
    Participant

    It *is* a great idea… but I wonder whether following two teams around and cutting between them would wreck the momentum of the trip through the maze. Maybe that could be solved in some way, though.

    #119525
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    It’d have to be an hour long!

    #119526
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Incidentally, seeing as we’ve obviously got a lot of gameshow/quizshow fans here – if you’ve not seen it, I highly recommend Bother’s Bar for all your insightful and hilarious gameshow analysis needs.

    #119529
    John Hoare
    Participant
    #119532
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Bah, what a load of rubbish!

    #119561
    pfm
    Participant

    I hate Goldenballs.

    #119583
    James
    Participant

    What’s Beckham ever done to you?

    #119654
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Speaking of ITV and doing things properly: the new News At Ten titles are amazing. I never bothered tuning in because I thought it was incredibly unlikely they’d actually do it properly, but no – that is the PERFECT updating of a classic sequence.

    No idea what the journalism’s like, mind – hopefully it’s more classy than the usual tabloid fare ITV News serves up these days. (Which is a shame, as ITN used to be the equal of the BBC.)

    #119662
    Joey TORDFC
    Participant

    I used to like The Vault with Davina McCall.

    Also Fluke.

    #119863
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Hmmmm.

    It’s a great format, so I’m glad it’s back in some form… but I can’t imagine Sky giving the show the production value it deserves. We’ll see.

    If only ITV had brought it back…

    #119864
    John Hoare
    Participant

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/jan/30/bskyb.television1

    “Sky One has said it will build “one of the biggest studio sets in UK television history” to accommodate its new version of Gladiators.”

    Hmmm. Maybe they will put in the money. But surely nothing can compete with the NIA?

    “The new version will again be hosted by two presenters, replacing Ulrika Jonsson and John Fashanu from the original show, with former footballer Ian Wright already tipped.”

    IAN WRIGHT FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

    #119871
    Andrew
    Participant

    Heh. The commissioner is called “Richard Woolfe”.

    HA! HA!

    #119875
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Sky are going to bring back Gladiators.

    This isn’t surprising really, considering how successful the revival of American Gladiators has been here in the States, but is it necessary? I think not.

    #119885
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Sky are going to bring back Gladiators.

    That’s what I said!

    This isn’t surprising really, considering how successful the revival of American Gladiators has been here in the States, but is it necessary? I think not.

    I think it’s necessary. We need all the decent TV shows we can get at this point. And when it was good, Gladiators was really good – one of the best Saturday night shows ITV ever made, and far better than the US version. (Although I’ve not seen the new US version yet.)

    #119887
    penny
    Participant

    Yay! I really liked Gladiators…it gave my brothers and me ideas for games to play while we were bored. Yes, I did break my arm or in fact both arms (at different times) and my brother did fall down the stairs a number of times but still it was fun to recreate some of those games.

    Still have a collector’s card of one of the gladiators…some reason I have Football cards and a Baywatch card with it.

    #119892
    Dave
    Participant

    >Still have a collector?s card of one of the gladiators

    Which one?

    #119895
    penny
    Participant

    I think it’s Jet…no idea where I got it from.

    #119896
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Aaaah Jet.

    That is all.

    #119901
    John Hoare
    Participant
    #119963
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I heard a great idea for a possible new presenter for any potential Crystal Maze revival – Russell Brand.

    I’m sure if you hate him that sounds like the worst idea in the world, but for me he’d be the perfect choice. I can already see him running around being amusing and energetic and great.

    #119964
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Strange as though it seems, if they were to bring it back, he does seem a worthy candidate. I would like Richard O’Brien back though, he was the best.

    #119975
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Yes, the one thing lacking with the original Crystal Maze was some twat talking about dinkles and ballbags every three minutes.

    #119976
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Because that’s the entirety of Brand’s act, yes.

    #119987
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Ian’s just bitter because Darkness fans reckon he nicked Justin Wotsisface’s entire schtick.

    Also, re the Games Mistress thing, I’d like to point out that I’m not the sadcase (the wonderful sadcase) that uploaded EVERY SINGLE appearance – I just put the first one up there ;-)

    #120181
    Joey TORDFC
    Participant

    I prefer Patrick Moore. In a way.

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