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Viewing 19 posts - 51 through 69 (of 69 total)
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    Posts
  • November 25, 2020 at 12:10 am #263419
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    I wanted a menu item that wasn’t offered once, in a Welsh fish and chip shop.

    November 25, 2020 at 8:55 pm #263429
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I once tried to lift up a vending machine by laying on top of it and thrusting a bit.

    Not really.

    I was actually trying to fuck it.

    November 25, 2020 at 9:17 pm #263430
    Dave
    Participant

    It’s cold outside.

    November 25, 2020 at 9:45 pm #263431
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I’m all alone. More or less.

    That vending machine is still playing hard to get.

    November 25, 2020 at 10:37 pm #263434
    Dollar Pound
    Participant

    isn’t it a bit sexist calling them vending machines?

    November 26, 2020 at 1:20 am #263435
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    I’m sick of toast.

    November 26, 2020 at 10:12 am #263436
    Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion
    Participant

    I really fancy Pete Tranter’s sister.

    November 26, 2020 at 12:35 pm #263446
    Ridley
    Participant

    isn’t it a bit sexist calling them vending machines?

    Not if it’s one of the Tonys.

    November 26, 2020 at 2:58 pm #263470
    Dollar Pound
    Participant

    of course men can vend. i was just ironically doing a kryten

    November 26, 2020 at 3:04 pm #263471
    Ridley
    Participant

    I’ve been Krytered.

    December 3, 2020 at 12:50 am #263500
    Manbird
    Participant

    I’m circumcised and I’m a jazz fan.

    December 13, 2020 at 6:14 pm #263581
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    Someone took my ball and I complained until they gave it back

    I can time travel, however unlike the dwarfers my time traveling powers are limited to going forwards in time at a rate of one second per second.

    March 15, 2021 at 10:04 pm #264762
    RunawayTrain
    Participant

    Felt a bit like Lister earlier when on hold to the DWP; it was asking me totally incorrect security questions (no I most definitely can’t give you my dependant children’s names or dates of birth because I don’t have any!) and then an interminable wait with infernal music interrupted at inconsistent intervals to tell me about the website and to thank me for holding.

    March 16, 2021 at 6:16 am #264782
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I used to trim my toenails like Lister.

    I’ve found self-deprecating messages from my drunk self in the morning.

    Those were a long time ago. Now I just make over-optimistic daily schedules that are obviously not going to get done.

    March 18, 2021 at 8:30 pm #264884
    Russ L
    Participant

    I ain’t even Betty Boop.

    March 19, 2021 at 10:44 am #264887
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    I am.

    March 19, 2021 at 2:20 pm #264891
    Jenuall
    Participant

    I didn’t go and see Run For You Wife

    September 18, 2021 at 9:01 am #269419
    clem
    Participant

    Frank Skinner told a story on his radio show this morning about the time he was in a restaurant thirty years ago, ordered steak tartare well done, and the waiter and other patrons laughed at him.

    September 18, 2021 at 7:12 pm #269423
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Frank Skinner told a story on his radio show this morning about the time he was in a restaurant thirty years ago, ordered steak tartare well done, and the waiter and other patrons laughed at him.

    His 90s Live in Birmingham video had a “she’s not jailbait, she’s 16” bit (“add a couple of years on”).

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