Life Imitating Red Dwarf

[Dave]

This morning, still slightly bleary-eyed, I reached for my shaving foam and razor but accidentally grabbed a can of air freshener out of the cupboard instead, and only when I picked it up to use it did I realise my mistake.

Have any other readers enjoyed vague similarities between their own lives and the events of the popular fictional TV programme Red Dwarf?

Topic

[Pete Part Three]

I once tried to lift up a vending machine by laying on top of it and thrusting a bit.

Not really.

I was actually trying to fuck it.

[Dave]

It’s cold outside.

[Pete Part Three]

I’m all alone. More or less.

That vending machine is still playing hard to get.

[Dollar Pound]

isn’t it a bit sexist calling them vending machines?

[evilmorwen]

I’m sick of toast.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I really fancy Pete Tranter’s sister.

[Ridley]

isn’t it a bit sexist calling them vending machines?

Not if it’s one of the Tonys.

[Dollar Pound]

of course men can vend. i was just ironically doing a kryten

[Ridley]

I’ve been Krytered.

[Manbird]

I’m circumcised and I’m a jazz fan.

[peas_and_corn]

Someone took my ball and I complained until they gave it back

I can time travel, however unlike the dwarfers my time traveling powers are limited to going forwards in time at a rate of one second per second.

[RunawayTrain]

Felt a bit like Lister earlier when on hold to the DWP; it was asking me totally incorrect security questions (no I most definitely can’t give you my dependant children’s names or dates of birth because I don’t have any!) and then an interminable wait with infernal music interrupted at inconsistent intervals to tell me about the website and to thank me for holding.

[Warbodog]

I used to trim my toenails like Lister.

I’ve found self-deprecating messages from my drunk self in the morning.

Those were a long time ago. Now I just make over-optimistic daily schedules that are obviously not going to get done.

[Russ L]

I ain’t even Betty Boop.

[Ben Saunders]

I am.

[Jenuall]

I didn’t go and see Run For You Wife

[clem]

Frank Skinner told a story on his radio show this morning about the time he was in a restaurant thirty years ago, ordered steak tartare well done, and the waiter and other patrons laughed at him.

[Warbodog]

Frank Skinner told a story on his radio show this morning about the time he was in a restaurant thirty years ago, ordered steak tartare well done, and the waiter and other patrons laughed at him.

His 90s Live in Birmingham video had a “she’s not jailbait, she’s 16” bit (“add a couple of years on”).

[Unrumble]

This isn’t really in keeping with the intent of this thread, but couldn’t find somewhere more relavant to put it. The mailbox of a Polish air bnb I checked out of this morning.

Hopefully no-one overheard me chuckling and muttering “Listy, Listy-Wisty, Lister” to myself. 

[clem]

[Spaceworm Jim]

The mini fridge in the hotel I’m staying has smeg on it. I have a picture but you all know the punchline.

[Formica]

The mini fridge in the hotel I’m staying has smeg on it. I have a picture but you all know the punchline.

Hey! I stayed in an airbnb with a Red Smeg Fridge a few weeks ago.

[Spaceworm Jim]

Tight gits! 

[Moonlight]

[Formica]

Tight gits! 

Huh. Mine was at least (nearly) the size of a proper fridge.

[Warbodog]

[Author]

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