Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Life Imitating Red Dwarf

  • This topic has 59 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 5 days ago by Ridley.
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  • #262719
    Dave
    Participant

    This morning, still slightly bleary-eyed, I reached for my shaving foam and razor but accidentally grabbed a can of air freshener out of the cupboard instead, and only when I picked it up to use it did I realise my mistake.

    Have any other readers enjoyed vague similarities between their own lives and the events of the popular fictional TV programme Red Dwarf?

    #262721
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    I was once served cold soup at someone’s wedding and thought it was shite.

    #262722
    tombow
    Participant

    bruce Wayne in batman Returns got cold soup wrong too. Only his was Vichyssoise.

    “They are both generally known as cold soups but Vichyssoise is also delicious served hot with croutons and a swirl of cream. Gazpacho can only be served cold or it changes its flavour.”

    #262723
    cwickham
    Participant

    In three million years, we will all indeed be dead.

    #262724
    Dave
    Participant

    I like curry.

    #262725
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Only his was Vichyssoise.

    Urgh, that was the cunt. Absolutely vile. Needed three bottles of free red wine to get rid of the taste.

    #262742
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    You know that scene in Balance of Power where Lister is drinking alone and in the dark, sadly reminiscing about the good times he had with his friends, friends he can no longer see again due to circumstances beyond his control?

    Well nothing like that has happened to me, but I did once steal a wig off the corpse of my doppelganger and kill a knight that had escaped from a video game into the real world. The 2 events were unrelated, but still.

    #262744
    Dave
    Participant

    I once dropped a pea on the floor.

    #262745

    There was a time I’d never had a prawn vindaloo

    #262746
    clem
    Participant

    I’ve never had Vichyssoise and don’t much like the sound of it but gazpacho is very tasty.

    I totally sex down steps.

    #262747
    ARossiEsquire
    Participant

    I once got very drunk and took home a traffic cone. Don’t think that’s exclusive to Red Dwarf though.

    #262749
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    If you were knocking about in Europe around 1986 you’ve been involved in a radiation leak.

    #262750
    Ridley
    Participant

    Only his was Vichyssoise.

    Urgh, that was the cunt. Absolutely vile. Needed three bottles of free red wine to get rid of the taste.

    At least you know it’s red wine with vichyssoise.

    #262752
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    I spit roast giraffes

    #262753
    Hamish
    Participant

    We’ve lost our keys. And had a picture fall of the wall. Not to mention all the times we’ve used up a whole bog roll in a day.

    #262754
    tombow
    Participant

    I’m low esteem with a disappointed family like Rimmer
    and probably can be as dirty as Lister and anxious as Kryten at times…maybe as dumb as Cat or grumpy as Holly

    #262755
    Dave
    Participant

    My toaster can be a bit annoying sometimes.

    #262756

    I once tried to urinate on my dead roommate from a high balcony.

    #262757
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    I hit my boxer shorts with a Smeg Hammer

    #262758
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I

    #262759
    pi r squared
    Participant

    That brilliant “I” speech. “I…” something something something. It’s brilliant writing, it really is. Unforgettable.

    #262761
    Yaron Ru
    Participant

    I’ve never eaten a coconut whole.

    #262802
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    I bought the red dwarf DVD’s that appear in Back to Earth, and I too realise they are just characters in a TV show.

    #262825
    RunawayTrain
    Participant

    I used to share bunk beds with a really annoying and sometimes disgusting person. Looking back, I was also quite horrible to her :(

    #262826
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    I don’t know what an iguana is.

    #262827
    Joe
    Participant

    Every time I see a Parker Knoll I too get really horny.

    #262828

    Katherine Parkinson basically just did the “Tarka Dahl” bit from Gunmen on Task Master

    Katherine Parkinson – Task Master

    #262829
    si
    Participant

    To be fair, it wasn’t invented by Rob and Doug.

    #262832
    bloodteller
    Participant

    when i was on a nude beach once, i saw a man with a penis that looked like the Low Strawberry from Demons And Angels

    #262835
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    How did it taste?

    #262836

    It had a crunchy wriggly texture

    #262837
    Dave
    Participant

    Tangy. Meaty, even.

    #262848
    Shoes Have Soles
    Participant

    Life is constantly repeating itself, like time spewing back into the Universe.

    #262849
    Spaceworm Jim
    Participant

    I’m having a midlife crisis, just like the Universe in that one scene.

    #262850
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    I was really unfunny when I was 8.

    #262851
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Guess that means series 13 to 37 (at least) are going to be dire.

    #262852
    Dave
    Participant

    I went straight from 8 to 10 and skipped being 9 altogether.

    #262854
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    I had sex once, just like Rimmer. Then I had it again, but for a while it was just the once.

    #262855
    si
    Participant

    I once imagined making love to a woman.

    #262870

    I once made love to a women who enjoyed it so much she chose to commit suicide so I could have her job.

    #262885
    Ridley
    Participant

    I do lessons on how to blow gags.

    #263317
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    When I get my lines right, I buy myself a bag of chips.

    #263318
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Then you drop it on the floor as soon as you get home, pretend that you’re perfectly happy with the pasta you have to make yourself as you watch everyone else eat their chips, and get the piss taken out of you for approximately 14 years and counting.

    #263320

    Is this that internet bullying I hear so much about?

    #263322
    Ridley
    Participant

    Don’t give me that Star Trek crap etc.

    #263323
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    No, this is real life bullying that’s taking place on the internet due to lockdown.

    #263360
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    What I wouldn’t give to be bullied to my face!

    #263396
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    Is it just me, or is that cockroach shuffling too loudly?

    #263397
    Dave
    Participant

    In fairness when they’re seven feet long they’re probably going to make a bit of a din.

    #263411
    Dollar Pound
    Participant

    dead people voting

    #263419
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    I wanted a menu item that wasn’t offered once, in a Welsh fish and chip shop.

    #263429
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I once tried to lift up a vending machine by laying on top of it and thrusting a bit.

    Not really.

    I was actually trying to fuck it.

    #263430
    Dave
    Participant

    It’s cold outside.

    #263431
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I’m all alone. More or less.

    That vending machine is still playing hard to get.

    #263434
    Dollar Pound
    Participant

    isn’t it a bit sexist calling them vending machines?

    #263435
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    I’m sick of toast.

    #263436

    I really fancy Pete Tranter’s sister.

    #263446
    Ridley
    Participant

    isn’t it a bit sexist calling them vending machines?

    Not if it’s one of the Tonys.

    #263470
    Dollar Pound
    Participant

    of course men can vend. i was just ironically doing a kryten

    #263471
    Ridley
    Participant

    I’ve been Krytered.

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