Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Noise from the Dwarf – celebrating 25 years of Red Dwarf

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  • #206638
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    YouTube Great video!

    http://bit.ly/YSZzq8

    #206639
    HelloMabel
    Participant
    #206642
    MANI506
    Participant

    Dimension skid. Happens a lot this time of year.

    Time of year.

    Time of year.

    #206643
    anniescribe
    Participant

    So, what is it?

    #206645
    MANI506
    Participant

    If this video was made now, what would rhyme with ‘this place is a total shit hole’?

    #206646
    MANI506
    Participant

    Five cream buns and a profiterole. (Pete part 2)

    #206651
    Connell
    Participant

    This could make a good forum game, if anyone can manage to come up with couplets that weren’t used in the video. Someone post a line and then rhyme it up.

    How long, you mad goth bastard?

    #206652
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Connell why am I not surprised you pick that one!

    #206655
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    > How long, you mad goth bastard?

    “Although you do.” – “Smeg!” – “Let’s ask her –

    A question about the future. A biggie.”

    #206661
    Connell
    Participant

    Boy is it cramped, whoo-ee!

    They’ve got less meat on them than a chicken McNugget

    #206663
    anniescribe
    Participant

    What is it?

    #206669
    MANI506
    Participant

    How long you mad goth bastard?

    A little nibble there and we’re flying backwards.

    #206689
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    If you complete a couplet, you also get to start the next one.

    #206690
    MANI506
    Participant

    Gotta be…

    Bollocking damn and jumbo buggers.

    #206694
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Bollocking damn and jumbo buggers.

    Double check and mate, sucka.

    We’re in search of lemons in general.

    #206695
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    > We’re in search of lemons in general.

    For giving me such a marvellous funeral.

    Now get your filling fixed, no messin’.

    #206696
    si
    Participant

    “using rope weaved from strands of this hessian…”

    Does mouseshit roll?

    #206697
    MANI506
    Participant

    > Does Mouseshit roll

    The Nostril-omo

    You got no soul man, no soul

    Save us before I wet me kecks.

    #206698
    Claire
    Participant

    > Save us before I wet me kecks.

    The part of you that lusts after meaningless sex.

    Lister, you’ve got the brain of a cheese sandwich.

    #206699
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Lister, you’ve got the brain of a cheese sandwich.

    The damage report machine’s been damaged.

    My baseball cards must be worth a fortune!

    #206700
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    >My baseball cards must be worth a fortune!

    Me, Who d’you think, Pat Boone?

    Can you see that space vehicle?

    #206702
    Carlito
    Participant

    > Can you see that space vehicle?

    Feckles, heckles, hackles, schmeckles.

    #206703
    Carlito
    Participant

    You are my all time favourite fascist dictator

    #206704
    Carlito
    Participant

    >> Can you see that space vehicle?
    >Feckles, heckles, hackles, schmeckles.

    I take that back, it sucked. Okay… try again…

    > Can you see that space vehicle?

    Rimmer, you already are one glorious hole.

    #206705
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Rimmer, you are one glorious hole…

    ‘No soul, man. no soul”

    Hey, you monkeys eat off the floor?…

    #206706
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    >Hey, you monkeys eat off the floor?…

    If you’re playing this message, it means you’re an officer in the Space Corps.
    (music breakdown)

    I’m getting a Stirmaster! — Me, too!

    #206714
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Oh, it’s a magic video box!

    #206715
    MANI506
    Participant

    >I’m getting a stir master. Me too!

    I thought it was a souvenir from Titan zoo.

    #206716
    MANI506
    Participant

    Two weeks P.D. Rimmer, dismissed.

    #206717
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Rimmer, will you relax. i am not, pished…

    If it’s gallows, say it’s gallows. I can take it…

    #206718
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Addendum

    “If it’s gallows, say it’s gallows…”

    #206719
    Connell
    Participant

    I look like a dog chewing a marshmallow.

    This. Is. An. Orange.

    Fuck you all.

    #206720
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    I look like a dog chewing a marshmallow.

    it’s ‘caramel toffee’ so your attempts to sabotage the thread have FAILED. Try harder…

    #206721
    Connell
    Participant

    Shame mode. Thought I’d get away with that one.

    #206722
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    “Shame mode. Thought I’d get away with that one.”

    “Fuck Off ” would of been a better choice!

    #206723
    Carlito
    Participant

    > If it’s gallows, say it’s gallows….

    Life for him no longer had any meaning because he’s so mind-meltingly shallow

    Okay I’ll repeat my last one that got ignored!!

    “You are my all time favourite fascist dictator”…

    #206725
    si
    Participant

    >“You are my all time favourite fascist dictator”…

    “Well…be you later!”

    “Whiteholespewingtimeenginesdeadairsupplylowadviceplease.”

    #206726
    takerdemon
    Participant

    Why does it have to be such a big deal? Why can’t it be like, like, human beings are a planetary disease?

    That’s the closest I could get with that one, well played Bromley!

    Mine…

    “Prince of the planet potters”

    #206732
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    “Come out of the shadows, voter.”

    “She dreamt about me three times, you know. It was in the log.”

    #206733
    takerdemon
    Participant

    “So I thought they’d flushed him down the bog”

    “No, that’s me over there. That pile of albino mouse droppings”

    #206736
    Carlito
    Participant

    “They believed that every Sunday should be spent hopping.”

    The part of you that lusts after meaningless sex.

    #206739
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    The part of you that lusts after meaningless sex.

    “You’re tighter than an Italian waiter’s kecks.”

    …”I shall undertake both tasks simultaneously is it’s all the same with you…”

    (I smell a sequel btw guys…)

    #206741
    Carlito
    Participant

    …”I shall undertake both tasks simultaneously is it’s all the same with you…”

    “Your wilful negligence in failing to reseal a drive plate resulted in the deaths of the entire crew.”

    “I can’t save his life. It’s too embarrassing!”

    #206742
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    “The dwindling, the kindling, all the -indling!”

    “The buttons, the blasters, the snug elasticated jump suits!”

    #206743
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    “The buttons, the blasters, the snug elasticated jump suits!”

    “Ah, you should wear your day-glo orange moon boots.”

    “Describe, using diagrams where appropriate, the exact circumstances leading to your death.”

    #206745
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    “What are you talking about, dog breath?”

    “D’you think she’d sign my copy of I Should Be So Lucky?”

    #206746
    Connell
    Participant

    “His name’s Rimmer, or smeg-head or dinosaur breath”

    “Is that painting yours? It’s rubbish!”

    #206748
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Hey! I was in a full five minutes before you, Connell…

    #206749
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    > “D’you think she’d sign my copy of I Should Be So Lucky?”

    “I look like a dog with a caramel toffee.”

    “Morally, ethically, hologram killing fine!”

    #206750
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >“Morally, ethically, hologram killing fine!”

    “It’s never beer, is it, always wine!”

    “Is that painting yours? It’s rubbish!”

    #206751
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    > “Is that painting yours? It’s rubbish!”

    “What color was Duane Dibbly’s toothbrush?”

    “They’re priceless nineteenth-century replicas of Napoleon’s Armee du
    Nord.”

    #206752
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    “They’re priceless nineteenth-century replicas of Napoleon’s Armee du
    Nord.”

    I’m not being doorist, believe me, I like doors.

    Cat says the trimmers are like wrestling in treacle.

    #206754
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    > Cat says the trimmers are like wrestling in treacle.

    “That’s how eskimos cared for their old people?”

    “Are you saying I am a resentful person? I really resent that!”

    #206756
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    “anything else coming, Mr Cat?”

    “haha, you’re as bald as a plucked chicken, man”

    #206757
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    “Nice plan, Lister, excellent plan!”

    “It’s the booze – you’re not used to it.”

    #206758
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    “It’s the booze – you’re not used to it.”

    How were we supposed to know that, you Brummie git?

    Cesiumfrankolithicmixialobidiumrixidixidoxidexidroxide.

    #206759
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    > Cesiumfrankolithicmixialobidiumrixidixidoxidexidroxide.

    “You spoke to five people and they all committed suicide.”

    “No, I’d describe the accused as a git.”

    #206765
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    “…like a complete and total tit!”

    “What can we do here that’s a novelty?”

    #206767
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    “Right, I’ll just stand over here and laugh slobbily.”

    “Two forks and a pencil sharpener?”

    #206773
    Phil
    Participant

    “He ain’t heavy, sir, he’s my butter.”

    #206774
    Carlito
    Participant

    “Two forks and a pencil sharpener?”

    “That’s why she hates you. Because she knows you’re going to kill her.”

    It’s an obscene phone call, sir. I think it’s for you.

    #206775
    Blisschick
    Participant

    “No difference. I just wanted to look like I was paying attention.”

    #206776
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    It’s broken now.

    #206778
    Bexley Heath
    Participant

    That or Blisschick’s making a really clever joke.

    #206779
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >It’s an obscene phone call, sir. I think it’s for you.

    They’re tying him to a stake: it’s Winnie the Pooh!

    Do you have anything to say?

    #206781
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    I was getting tired of it anyway.

    Maybe next month we can have Round Two.

    #206788
    Alex
    Participant

    >Do you have anything to say?

    I wonder why they call it “Mayday”

    That’s right! I told her I wanted to play the field.

    #206789
    anniescribe
    Participant

    “That or Blisschick’s making a really clever joke.”

    She butter not be!

    “Grab them forks, we might need ’em!”

    #206800
    Carlito
    Participant

    “That’s right! I told her I wanted to play the field.”

    “OK bud, I’ll keep my nose peeled.”

    #206801
    Carlito
    Participant

    Rimmer, you’ve taken a group of holy men and pacifists and turned them into the Dirty Dozen!

    #206812
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Rimmer, you’ve taken a group of holy men and pacifists and turned them into the Dirty Dozen!

    “I give you my body and you’ve given me a bosom…”

    “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeextrordinary!” (actually this needs to be the punchline to another line, so someone think of the one that feeds this… :D)

    #206813
    Alex
    Participant

    >“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeextrordinary!” (actually this needs to be the punchline to another line, so someone think of the one that feeds this… :D)

    Never mind this tot, what about *me*, old man? What happens to *me*?

    #206814
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    >“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeextrordinary!”

    Impressive that this has the maximum number of a’s without triggering the run-over effect.

    Alex – You haven’t finished your turn yet. Start another couplet, dude. :)

    #206820
    Alex
    Participant

    Oh yeah, I needed a a rhyme for bosom to give Danny the feed didn’t I? Uh, ok let’s go with:

    I just can’t get it out of my head. It’s just so catchy! “Om!”

    #206826
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Oh yeah, I needed a a rhyme for bosom to give Danny the feed didn’t I? Uh, ok let’s go with:

    This is getting terribly muddled. You gave the feed to my like of ‘extraordinary’ (and i thank you for this) and you have to provide the next line. Which I’m taking as this…

    I just can’t get it out of my head. It’s just so catchy! “Om!”

    “it must be wired up to the warning system, but not the bomb…”

    I reply with:

    “Ooh he’s taking you home to meet his mum already”…..

    #206827
    Phil 4Q2B
    Participant

    I get front seat in the cockpit and you’re in charge of the laundry.

    I have got hair like yours. Just not on my head

    #206828
    Carlito
    Participant

    “I have got hair like yours. Just not on my head”

    “….for just like me, you’re utterly dead.”

    Do me a lemon! That’s a poor IQ for a glass of water.

    #206831
    takerdemon
    Participant

    “Do me a lemon! That’s a poor IQ for a glass of water.”

    ***”Yes sir, he says in exchange for the oxygeneration unit he wants you to be his daughter’s mate.”***
    “His daughter?”

    ———–

    That’s a load of Tottenham that is, it’s a steaming pile of Hotspur.

    #206835
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    > “That’s a load of Tottenham that is, it’s a steaming pile of Hotspur.”

    “What’d you do that for?”*

    ==

    “Obviously, whatever he has in mind is facilitated by my being slippery and pliant, yes?”

    #206840
    MANI506
    Participant

    An extra easter egg behind Cat’s shoulder at 2 minutes 12 seconds? Banana related?

    ‘He broke my leg?’

    Just given you another reason to watch the video again!

    #206843
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    > “Obviously, whatever he has in mind is facilitated by my being slippery and pliant, yes?”

    No clues, just have a guess.

    They’ve got less meat on them than a Chicken McNugget.

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