Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Some instructional diagrams

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  • #2199
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I made these about a year or so ago for a Photoshop contest on another forum (the Games & Technology board on the Penny Arcade Forums) and I figured I’d share them here. Enjoy!

    #120780
    TheLeen
    Participant

    Wow… lovely diagrams!

    #120782
    mick
    Participant

    Lovely stuff.

    #120786
    Mr Flibble
    Participant

    Is that a blueberry muffin in his pocket? Like the ones Martha used to make?

    #120810
    Anonymous
    Guest

    These are ace!

    #120812
    thomasaevans
    Participant

    Good stuff

    #120819
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    > Like the ones Martha used to make?

    or bought from Tesco’s :)

    #120824
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    There are wallpaper-sized versions of “The Rimmer (Informal)” if anyone’s interested:

    1024 x768 | 1280×1204

    And a version with the H…

    1024×768 | 1280×1204

    #120838
    Mr Flibble
    Participant

    The whole Tesco’s Muffin just annoys me. I mean how much effort would it have taken to get one without that on?

    http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shoppingandservices/storelocator/store.htm?id=2663

    1.4 miles away.

    #120839
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I suppose I could’ve removed the muffin when I made the diagram, but I didn’t. Such is life.

    #120840
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Yeah, but the Sainsbury’s muffins might have said Sainsbury’s on them.

    #120841
    Mr Flibble
    Participant

    Ben – I didn’t mean from your picture, I mean in the episode.

    Ian – Sainsbury’s muffins are packaged in plain cases.

    #120842
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Truly, sir, you are a muffin connoisseur .

    #120843
    Dave
    Participant

    Yes, Tesco’s looks daft in close up on the muffin papercase thing, but if Norweb, Moss Bros, Sony, Teasy Weasy, Topics etc all made it to the 21st/23rd/22nd* Century then why shouldn’t there be a Tesco on board, they do all but own the UK.

    Maybe the jokes on us, maybe we’re assuming that because it occured in Series VIII that it is a shortcoming. Maybe the gag is that Martha bought in her husband’s favourites and passed them off as her own, maybe Martha worked for Tesco.

    I doubt it though.

    * Delete as appropriate.

    #120844
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    > Maybe the gag is that Martha bought in her husband?s favourites and passed them off as her own

    if Had that have been the case, then I would seriously think that would have been one of the funnier jokes in VIII.

    #120845
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    But Hollister’s boss is coming round for dinner and only likes home-cooked muffins! Eek.

    Oh, the hilarity.

    #120847
    Dave
    Participant

    The only Space Corps Admiral we’ve met had tastes that ran to food you could wear.

    #120848
    si
    Participant

    The whole Tesco?s Muffin just annoys me. I mean how much effort would it have taken to get one without that on?

    http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shoppingandservices/storelocator/store.htm?i…

    1.4 miles away.

    Try something new today.

    #120853
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Those are lovely diagrams. Do more!

    #120854
    Anonymous
    Guest

    > But Hollister?s boss is coming round for dinner and only likes home-cooked muffins! Eek.

    Oh, the hilarity.

    The funny thing is, he’s arranged a party in the house on the same night! Irk! Will he manage to keep his boss away from the party room and still throw a dinner party?

    Either way, giggles are guaranteed!

    #120855
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    And one of the guests is a nun who one of Hollister’s crew mistakenly believes to be his sister.

    Oh. They did that already.

    #120856
    Andrew
    Participant

    I suspect the Tesco’s muffin comes down to time – it’s a reshot scene, remember – featuring a cake originally – so the last-minute addition of a muffin to the script may have forced a quick run down the road by a props department who never expected the thing to get a close-up…

    #120865
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    And now, a moment with Cappsy…
    Those are lovely diagrams. Do more!

    People have been saying this to me on and off for a year. Any thoughts on what I could do?

    #120867
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    I’m not sure, actually. Something not from VII or VIII, though!

    #120869
    Dave
    Participant

    >Any thoughts on what I could do?

    How about:

    Drive plate repair?
    Holly Hop Drive instructions?
    BTL/TIV/AR ads?

    #120870
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    The Holly hop one would be good.

    #120887
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    A diagram of a stasis field?

    #120992
    John Hoare
    Participant

    This is all fucking excellent.

    How about the Space Highway Code?

    #121620
    ChrisM
    Participant

    Concerning Tesco…

    It’s a big ship. About 5 miles long if I remember correctly. Maybe they’ve got an entire shopping centre on board… and Tesco is still alive and kicking in the 23rd/22nd/21st (depending on series) century.

    ;}

    #121630
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I best they’d changed their logo, though.

    Unless it’s a retro muffin.

    #121634
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Oh bugger, I’d forgotten all about this.

    I’ll work on something tonight, if I remember.

    #121685
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    > I best they?d changed their logo, though.

    Aye, probably something like this

    #121686
    John Hoare
    Participant

    EXCELLENT.

    #121693
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    #121697
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Mr Paddon, I do declare that to be fucking excellent.

    These need to be made into a book. Seriously, they’re wonderful.

    #121698
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Very very good.

    #121699
    Tanya Jones
    Participant

    I concur.

    #121701
    John Hoare
    Participant

    “Ensure the polarity has been correctly reversed”

    EXCELLENT.

    #121705
    Dave
    Participant

    Fantastic. Encore!

    #121728
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Awright, what next?

    #121735
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Crash-landing procedures! – i.e. reading the in-flight magazines!

    #121736
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    > Maybe the gag is that Martha bought in her husband?s favourites and passed them off as her own

    if Had that have been the case, then I would seriously think that would have been one of the funnier jokes in VIII.

    Ah, but if that were the case, then there would also have been an additional five or six lines of dialogue explaining the gag. And a close-up of the Tesco logo. You know, just to hammer home the joke.

    #121737
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Also, I do like the HHD thing, but I think it’d be better if the lengthy instructions were actually telling the reader to do nothing more than press Stop and Start ;-)

    #121738
    Anonymous
    Guest

    “It’s a muffin…blueberry…just like Martha used to make.”

    “Yes, sir…I got it from Tesco.”

    *close-up of Tesco logo*

    “Rimmer, Martha used to bake these for me from scratch.”

    “That’s funny, sir…because I got Holly to run some crumbs we found on your uniform through the muffin analyser…and the result was 98% Tesco with a 2% Budgens error factor.”

    *close-up of Tesco logo*

    “Not that I would suggest that your wife was being untruthful, but the evidence does suggest that she didn’t make them herself, even though you thought that she did. So I bought you a muffin from Tesco because our tests indicated that she had actually bought the muffins rather than making them herself, and was passing them off as her own.”

    “Rimmer, is there any point to this continuing explanation?”

    “None at all, sir.”

    “Good.”

    “It’s just that I was rather confused….because…you see…there seems to be some discrepancy between your recollection of events and the reality which is presented before us now. To you it seemed that your wife was baking her own muffins, but now scientific tests have rendered that hypothesis defunct. It is almost entirely certain that Martha was committing a form of cake-based subterfuge. One may take a step back at this point and assess the implications that this revelation has upon your relationship with her. In fact, it would seem that Martha was perhaps less inclined to devote her time to making you happy, sir…and was instead looking for an easy way out. Perhaps this is indicative of wider problems in your relationship. Perhaps her heart was not really in it. Or perhaps she was less of a good cook than you give her credit. Perhaps she was equally less skilled in other areas and you are viewing her through a rose-tinted lens. This makes both her and you look foolish, and the fact that I would draw attention to it in this way also makes me appear tactless and incompetent…and therein lies the comedy, sir.”

    “THAT’S IT, RIMMER! TWO MONTHS…IN THE HOLE!!!! AGAIN!!!!!”

    #121739
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Seb sed…
    Also, I do like the HHD thing, but I think it?d be better if the lengthy instructions were actually telling the reader to do nothing more than press Stop and Start ;-)

    I tried. Oh dear lord how I tried. You have any idea how difficult it is to stretch “It’s fairly straightforward. If you want to start it you press ‘START,’ and you can work out the rest of the controls for yourself” out over four paragraphs? Nigh on impossible I tell you. I chose instead to give it a bunch of nonsense instructions.

    #121750
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    >?THAT?S IT, RIMMER! TWO MONTHS?IN THE HOLE!!!! AGAIN!!!!!?

    Needs another close up of the muffin after this.

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