Caitlin Moran: Idiot News Posted by John Hoare on 12th January 2006, 00:19 Oh dear. Hyperdrive (Wednesday, BBC Two, 10pm) poses the question: if you were a scriptwriter, would you want to write “the new Red Dwarf?” On the one hand, the writers of the original Red Dwarf — Doug Naylor and Rob Grant — have become rich beyond their wildest dreams; primarily from the “Let’s Get the Smeg Out of Here” T-shirt millions. Also, in the event of their wealthy, sybaritic lifestyles catching up with them, they could easily commandeer the healthy internal organs of an untouched virgin acolyte from virtually any IT department in Britain. To write the new Red Dwarf would be to live as a god. On the other hand, you would be the writer of the new Red Dwarf. Thankfully, Hyperdrive — rogues and slobs aboard an unimportant spaceship, adrift in the sitcom universe — circumnavigates this problem by being much better than Red Dwarf. It turns out that this is a fairly easy thing to do: don’t employ Chris Barrie or Craig Charles, write a very funny script, give a role to Kevin Eldon, don’t call the project Red Dwarf, and refrain from using the word “smeg”. Do the words “sneery” and “bollocks” spring to mind?