Slightly mad conspiracy theory

It’s nonsense.

> The ?evidence? is that the only series that were remastered were the ones with the PJP credit at the end

But there IS a PJP logo on all the remastered VHS tapes. Not on the DVD, admittedly, but if you were trying to disassociate the episodes, including the logo on the videos is kind of a big mis-step!

Also, PJP was merged into Noel Gay Television, who remain the sister company of GNP. So you only end up hurting yourself.

> I know that Doug talked about BBC Worldwide saying they ?just couldn?t sell? the series as it stood, but I thought that meant more along the lines of quality, rather than rights.

I does. The shows sold abroad before the remastering – just not as well. PJP was no issue there.

The only reason to try a trick like the one suggested is to keep more of the sales cash for yourself. But here’s the thing – why would Worldwide finance it?

Money that would have gone to PJP would be going to GNP instead – doesn’t mean Worldwide make any more cash. So what’s in it for them to bankroll an expensive project? And why would they commission IV a V to be done?

For that matter, since when does recutting a show and adding effects allow you to remove the rights of those involved with the original production?

All piffle.

[This reminds me of the Star Wars ‘originals’ rumour, where people claimed Lucas didn’t present the original versions of eps IV-VI on DVD in a cleaned-up, anamorphic, surround-sound versions in order to keep the films categorised as ‘bonus material’. Because if they were, his ex-wife wouldn’t get her entitlement from the sales.

It’s crackers – as if bonus material is somehow ‘not allowed’ to be anamorphic! As if using a film as bonus material, or re-editing a film into special editions, suddenly avoids all the underlying rights.]

The Titanic was an insurance job.

Diana was switched with a double in the ambulance.

The World Trade Center towers were always just two giant holograms, everyone who worked there were agents who upon entering the ‘buildings’ took hidden lifts to New York’s secret underground city housing millenia-old aeons shaping world events with their minds, the towers collapsing was just CG trickery, as was all footage of the planes crashing (or rather melting) into the buildings.

Just thinking about that seriously for a moment, as someone who has spent many an hour on various Flight Simulator incarnations (yes, I AM that sad, you better bloody believe it) I know it’s just that, a simulation, but the moves that those planes pulled on 9/11 to hit the WTC towers in the precise way that they did at that speed are so far-fetched that they wouldn’t even feature in an ’80s action flick. No pilot could pull off what they did. One view of the crashes that hardly gets shown is the pulled back view of the whole Manhattan skyline where you can see the plane coming in from miles away. The insanely quick twist it makes is so so exact and precise no-one could achieve it. It just screams ‘drone’. You can hear it as it flies past – ‘DROOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!’

Mr Ed was really a mutated duck.

Robin Williams real name is Mork.

>Robin Williams real name is Mork.

And I wish to God he’d go back to Ork.

>I?d forgotten all about it and it just popped into my head.

Reminds me of Ian’s penis.

Back to the conspiracy theories, I heard that Craig Charles actually died during the filming on Series 2, and was replaced by a look-a-like. The clues are all there. Apparently, if you play Tongue Tied backwards, it says “I buried Craig, I buried Craig”, and the Rimmer Munchkin song bears the message “turn me on, dead Craig”. Plus, you’ll notice on the Timeslides video cover, “Craig” is the only one sitting down, and his guitar is laid across his body diagonally, making him appear “crossed out”. Plus, on the inside cover of The Log, “Craig” is shown eating a sandwich, which is an ancient Indian symbol for death.

Norman Lovett has…

Ah, fuck it – just go and read page 5 of the Beat the Geek booklet.

> Patrick Stewart has never watched an episode of Red Dwarf in his life.

Now that I can believe. He was just laughing at episodes of TNG.

> Purely to do with Remastered shooting, apparently.

Brimming over with wrongability.

It’s because Hattie was busy doing a porno.

Promographic

No, the VII shoot was way before the Remastered stuff. Haven’t got dates to hand – maybe Andrew knows roughly…

Yeah, totally separate shoots. Nanarchy was part of the regular VII shoot (and isn’t Norman way better with an audience?), the remastering followed later.

And nope, sorry, no dates committed to memory!

My personal fav RD conspiracy theory is that Lister actualy died in stasis and what you see is his own personal pergatory. A load of old sweaty bollocks obviously but never ceases to make me smile.

That theory amuses me! I can see why someone would believe it, if they didn’t think about it too much.

I like the scene in Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers where we see him actually cracking up after coming out of stasis, riding on escalators naked and shouting abuse at Holly.

I don’t know why I like it, I think i’m just a bit wierd.