Viewing 90 posts - 1 through 90 (of 90 total)
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  • #11717
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    “Welease Kwyten.”

    “Rimmeres eunt dwarfus?”

    “The only people we hate more are The Jupiter Mining People’s Front.” (spits) “Skutters.”

    “I’m only telling the truth, you do have a very shit new nose.”

    “I have a great servant in wome called Biggus Groinus attatchment.”

    “It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.”
    “But you can’t have babies. Unless you visit a parallel universe.”
    “Where’s the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box under
    a pool table?”

    #118175
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    People called Rimmeres they go the Dwarf?

    #118174
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    “You are all smegging lunatics!”
    “Yes! We are all smegging lunatics!”

    #118177
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    >People called Rimmeres they go the Dwarf?

    Paint it a hundred times on the side of the ship, and if it’s not done by Jupiter rise, I’ll cut both your ….. with a blunt knife.

    #118203
    NoFro
    Participant

    > Paint it a hundred times on the side of the ship, and if it’s not done by Jupiter rise, I’ll cut both your… with a blunt knife.

    We have a winner!

    #118208
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    No-one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle, even – and I want to make this absolutely clear – even if they *do* call you tetchy.

    #118209
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    About eight years ago, I wrote a version of the colosseum scene, with me and John as the PFJ and Cappsy as Brian, desperate to join our Red Dwarf fansite, while we were more concerned at slagging off the others. At the time, Cappsy said the sketch was flawed as he had no desire to be part of G&T. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

    #118215
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Paint it a hundred times … and if it’s not done by Jupiter rise, I’ll cut both your ….. with a blunt knife.

    Finished!!

    #118216
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    About eight years ago, I wrote a version of the colosseum scene, with me and John as the PFJ and Cappsy as Brian, desperate to join our Red Dwarf fansite, while we were more concerned at slagging off the others. At the time, Cappsy said the sketch was flawed as he had no desire to be part of G&T. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

    It’s funny, but I see your description of this, and yet not the sketch itself. Why?

    #118217
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > Cappsy said the sketch was flawed as he had no desire to be part of G&T

    If I really did say this, I imagine it was a giant lie.

    #118218
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    It’s funny, but I see your description of this, and yet not the sketch itself. Why?

    Because it was about a billion years ago and I’ve no idea where it is.

    #118221
    mick
    Participant

    > Because it was about a billion years ago and I’ve no idea where it is.

    I used those exact words yesterday evening to describe my penis.

    :'(

    #126302
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    >”Finished!!”

    Right. Now dont do it again!

    (Danny looks on pleasingly at the awesome picture he has created. Rimmer appears annoyed at being told where to go, he gives chase, Kryten follows, with a lobster, with nowhere to turn Danny runs up a nearby tower, past lister who drops his smeg hammer, Danny runs on and falls off the top of the uncomplete staircase, when suddenly…)

    ... two Gelfs turn up who've just haggled a swap of Blue Midget for some false dreadlocks and some curried gourd.

    #126317
    Nick R
    Participant

    “I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.”
    “Oh yes, the Norwegian Blue. What’s wrong with it?”
    “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it.”
    “My God. I was only away two minutes!”
    “Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I’m looking at one right now.”
    “Are you a doctor?”
    “Bein’ a doctor don’t enter into it, it’s got less plumage on it than a chicken McNugget.”

    #126318
    si
    Participant

    THIS is an Ex-Parrot!

    #126319
    JamesTC
    Participant

    We’ll always have dead Parrot’s.

    #126320
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #126327
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    That didn’t take long.

    #126328
    Ridley
    Participant

    The Human Centipete

    #126364
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Not a python fan then pescopete.

    #126371
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Huge Python Fan! The Spanish Inquisition my fav! Use it all the time on the faithful that try to save my soul. Ergo the 666 in all my internet IDs,keeps the faithful away!

    #126372

    The TV series has dated rather horribly, though.

    #126374
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    All the Tea Ladies gone?

    #126375
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    The TV series has dated rather horribly, though.

    *QI klaxon*

    #126376
    si
    Participant

    I actually listened to most of the albums before I saw the majority of the TV shows. There’s some proper gems on those LPs.

    #126377
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    You must have a vast media collection! Never new they were on vinly!

    #126381
    MANI506
    Participant

    The cheese shop on record is much funnier than the tv show. Same with Eric Idle’s Watneys Red Barrel monologue.

    #126384

    I love the LPs, the movies, the live shows, and the best of collections. I just think the actual TV show itself isn’t as good.

    #126385
    si
    Participant

    I am a fan of The Cycling Tour, mind.

    #126388
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    John Cleese has over 2 million followers on Twitter! He follows 230!
    Amazing

    #126390
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Monty python truly were trolls before the Internet happened. My dad was sent mental when he showed his mates Matching Tie and Handkerchief and couldn’t understand why Side B wasn’t the Side B he’d been listening to for 2 YEARS. He somehow never put the needle on the alternate groove…

    #126391
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Can not find The Spanish Inquisition,but this one is good!

    FRENCH GUARD: You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt!Thppt!
    GALAHAD: What a strange person.
    ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man—
    FRENCH GUARD: I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

    It changed my view of the French!
    I don’t get the elderberries?

    #126392

    It’s just a silly thing to say.

    I’m worried: it didn’t REALLY change your view of the French, did it?

    #126393
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Yes it did!
    I just purchased “Another Monty Python Record (Expanded Edition w/ Bonus Tracks)” and”The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief” used for 10.00 dollars. Looking forward to hearing them.

    #126394
    MANI506
    Participant

    I think this is the silliest thread I’ve ever been a part of. So I’d like to take you out for dinner.

    #126395

    How did it change your view of the French?

    #126396
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Anyone who watched python and then thought the french were all shouty mad rude insulters with strong accents really isnt educated in the wider truth of european living. You would be totally missing the fact they all wear hooped jumpers swap moustaches and pioneered sheep aviation.

    #126400
    si
    Participant

    My view of the french was changed by ‘Allo ‘Allo.

    #126401
    Connell
    Participant

    When I was growing up, Bob Marley really showed me how the French can accomplish anything in today’s society

    #126402
    Alex
    Participant

    My view of the French has always been obscured by 60 odd miles of land and sea.

    #126407
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    My view of the French was obscured when I was blindfolded.

    #126416
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    My view of France was somewhat skewed when viewing a map of France through a glass ball…

    #126425
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I can see Russia from my house.

    #126426
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Oh look, it’s the segue to nowhere. ;)

    #126428
    Pecospete666
    Participant
    #126431
    Alex
    Participant

    You really need to invest in a proper alarm clock, Ben. This new method is too unreliable.

    #126438

    Even the word unreliable has “reliable” in it, Alex.

    #126478
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Its on youtube

    A Liar’s Autobiography – Official Trailer
    Published onSep 1, 2012byMontyPython
    1,921 likes, 39 dislikes
    44,249 views
    Graham Chapman, probably best remembered as ‘the dead one from Monty Python’, writes and stars in the animated movie of his own life story, A LIAR’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY. Although Chapman selfishly dropped dead in 1989, he had taken the trouble to record himself reading his book, A Liar’s Autobiography — and those recordings have now ingeniously been used to provide Chapman’s voice for the 3D animated feature of the same name. Fellow Pythons John Cleese, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, and Terry Gilliam also turn up, playing themselves and other characters, along with a few surprise guests. Not a documentary, not a Monty Python film, A LIAR’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY is Chapman’s own take on his bizarre life and his search for self-knowledge, bringing Chapman back to life in an ingenious tour de force of animation, told through 17 different animation styles from 14 different animators. Incredible, yes. Surreal, certainly. True? Who knows? At his memorial service, John Cleese called Chapman “a freeloading bastard”. Now, as the film re-unites Chapman with Cleese, Jones, Palin, and Gilliam for the first time in 23 years, he is set to earn a new title — the most prolific corpse since Elvis. EPIX and Brainstorm Media present, in association with Trinity, A Liar’s Autobiography — The Untrue Story of Monty Python’s Graham Chapman. A Liar’s Autobiography will be released in the UK by Trinity early 2013. Premiering on EPIX and in select U.S. theatres in 3D on November 2, 2012.

    #126479
    Jo
    Participant

    It changed my view of the French!

    Cheese-eating surrender monkeys!

    #126490
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I really appreciate your copy/paste skills, Pescopete. I want you to know that.

    #126491
    si
    Participant

    > I really appreciate your copy/paste skills, Pescopete. I want you to know that.

    He’d hate you to…go…anywhere not knowing that.

    #126492
    mick
    Participant

    It’s like having the entire internet filtered down into small manageable chunks for us.

    #126495
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    I have forwarded you comments to top management of PecosPete enterprises a wholly owned subsidiary of the Vogan Construction Fleet! You will here from them shortly.
    On a personal note I now know who has a attention span of the common Gnat!
    I can not get a link off of the youtube thats on the IPAD,otherwise i would just posted the link!

    #126508
    Phil
    Participant

    I love that story.

    #126510
    Connell
    Participant

    I liked the part about the Gnat. I have a thing for silent G’s.

    #126513
    si
    Participant

    I have a thing about Gnats. A gnat’s chuff is *literally* as tight as a gnat’s chuff…

    …I miss that Fist Of Fun tape.

    #126518
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Oddly, I did wake up around 3:30am, then went back to sleep.

    #200840
    Karnie
    Participant

    Pete, my friend, for the love of God…. it’s spelled “Vogons.” =)

    #200841
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Don’t let the Vogans hear you say that!

    #200853
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    There was an interstellar civil war. Eventually a truce was called and those who wanted to be called Vogans went one way, while those who wanted to be called Vogons went t’other. Or was it the other way round?

    #200854
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    new Vogon
    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    Old Vogan
    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #200875

    Isn’t that…slightly racist?

    #202345
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Blessed are the lemon seekers.

    #202346
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    It’s not meant to be taken literally, it refers to all manufacturers of citric products…

    #202351
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Oh it’s the Smeeeeeeg. I’m glad they are getting something, cus they have a hell of a time.

    #202352
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    And low on the third day he rose again. Death isnt the handicap it used to be.

    Well that’s the ultimate irony isnt it, lister the ultimate atheist turns out infact, to meet the son of god.

    #202531
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Always Look on the hard-light side of life. Do do. Do do do do. Do do.

    Lifes a peice of smeg, When you Look at it.

    Cheer up Lister, might never happen.

    #202539

    THANK YOU.

    #202544
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    How much for the Lemon.

    20 shekels

    Here you go.

    What?

    Here you go.

    You’ve got to haggle.

    #202546

    I love you, Jonsmad.

    #202549
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Give me the Barbeque Tongs I’ll hold it.

    Will the girls like this, will the girls like that, is it too big, is it too small.

    #202551
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I’m Lemons and so’s my wife.

    #202558
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    “You travelled 4000 miles for lemons? How many do you want?”

    “8. Make it 10”

    “Ten for that, you must be mad!”

    #202585
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    “Are you the Jupiter Mining Corporation?”
    “Fuck off! We’re the Mining Corporation of Jupiter!”

    #202608
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    And yay at this time a friend shall lose a friends smeg hammer.

    #202670
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Found these forks, sir. And a pencil sharpener.

    #202681
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    If you want to start a Simulant uprising, you’d have to really hate the humans.

    I do.

    Alright, your in.

    #203513
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    I mean what has fear ever done for us?

    Apart from Pain.

    Well Pain Obviously. that goes with out saying.

    And death

    Well yeah death I’ll give you that.

    Oh and humiliation.
    Oh yeah definately the humilation, Rimmer.

    Ok alright, Humiliation, death and pain are three things fear has kept us away from. I’ll grant you.
    But apart from that.

    The unknown?

    The unknown? oh smeg off.

    #203515
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Nobody expects the Smegging Inquisitor, my weapon is fear; fair and pain… My two weapons are fair and pain… And ruthless humiliation, ah, My three weapons are fear, pain, humilation, and an almost fanatical devotion to death… Ah! Amongst my weapons are such elements as fair and pa- i’ll come in again…

    #203519
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Love a bit of Python! Does anyone else find ‘The Meaning of Life’ hugely underrated?

    #203520
    Sam Johnson
    Participant

    I only watched The Meaning of Life for the first time the other day and it was much better than I expected. It’s still not quite up there with Grail and Brian, but it has some absolutely fantastic bits and some brilliant songs. Apparently the Mr. Creosote sketch is the only film moment in history that makes Quentin Tarentino nauseous…

    #203521
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Grail and Brian are both brilliant, I agree. One of my favourite bits is Chapman and Idle as the Protestant Couple!

    And “the salmon mousse.”

    #203522
    Sam Johnson
    Participant

    Yeah, the Protestant’s are very funny. My favourite moment would probably have to be John Cleese’s (very graphic) sex education lesson. I also really love the cut from the Rugby match to the war scene. It’s a genuinely brilliant bit of film making in a film that otherwise prides itself on being silly and making very little sense.

    #203524
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    For anyone who’s interested, this edition is far better for many reasons than the crappy vanilla release:

    #203525
    Sam Johnson
    Participant

    Could you name a couple of those reasons please.

    #203527
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    2-Discs

    Special Features:

    Eric Idle Introduction
    Commentary with Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam
    A Soundtrack for People Watching at Home
    Director’s Cut with 3 deleted scenes
    The Meaning of Making the Meaning of Life
    Educational Tips to Prepare You For Life In The Real World
    A New Trailer for the John Cleese Version of the Film
    Remastering Feature
    Musical Featurette
    Alternate Versions of the Original Songs
    Promotional Material
    Virtual Python Reunion
    The Minds of Fish
    Deleted Scenes

    DVD-ROM:
    Screenplay
    Lost Scenes
    Song Sheets
    Fat Recipes

    Oh, and the film’s audio is 5.1 and DTS.

    #203532
    Sam Johnson
    Participant

    Nice! I’ve got a copy of Holy Grail which is similarly loaded with extras, including an interesting piece on how to use coconuts correctly.

    #203534
    NoFro
    Participant

    The virtual Python reunion is amazing.

    #203581
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    “The virtual Python reunion is amazing.”

    Indeed. “Hello, Graham. Haven’t seen you for ages!”

    #203585
    si
    Participant

    My copy of Holy Grail is signed by Michael Palin.

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