Jokes you don't/didn't get

[bloodteller]

i know there’s the thing of “the joke isn’t funny if you explain it” but were there ever gags in Red Dwarf you didn’t get? and if so, what?

i never quite got what Cat’s “stan and ollie” line in White Hole was about, for example. nor did i get what “see you in ten minutes?” (repeat x10) from Pete was all about, and also Rimmer’s “steers and queers, which are you boy?” joke from Meltdown

Topic

[International Debris]

I do find it slightly odd that, on a ship the size of Red Dwarf, the closest thing they could come to a ball is a blown-up condom rather than, say, a ball.

[clem]

They at least have the beachball Lister says they use for unicycle polo in the very same scene. I think blowing up the condoms is just supposed to be part of the “fun”.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

So what you’re saying Ian, is is that Phil has never had sex, is that it?

[GlenTokyo]

So what you’re saying Ian, is is that Phil has never had sex, is that it?

Perhaps he’s a Trojan Magnum Zorber rather than a Durex Volleyballer…

[Hamish]

I do find it slightly odd that, on a ship the size of Red Dwarf, the closest thing they could come to a ball is a blown-up condom rather than, say, a ball.

Especially since there is a basketball court shown in Pete. Unless that was like the Karaoke Bar on C Deck?

[Ian Symes]

So what you’re saying Ian, is is that Phil has never had sex, is that it?

No, he’s just never had protected sex.

[PhilPagett]

No, he’s just never had protected sex.

Who told you you needed protection, huh? Some loser who was trying to make you feel small. C’mon, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll take mine off first.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

A couple of recent posts in the meme thread (As if they all aren’t meme threads at this point) reminded me of this.

When I was kid I didn’t know that ‘smoked kippers’ was a thing, or what it meant, or that you might eat them for breakfast.  So when Ace said ‘smoke me a kipper’ I thought it was a euphemism for smoking a cigar or probably worse when I was really young, smoking a kipper as you would a cigar or something.

[Flap Jack]

Given a kipper isn’t a kipper until it’s been smoked, is saying “smoke me a kipper” like saying “toast me some toast”?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Given a kipper isn’t a kipper until it’s been smoked, is saying “smoke me a kipper” like saying “toast me some toast”?

[clem]

Given a kipper isn’t a kipper until it’s been smoked, is saying “smoke me a kipper” like saying “toast me some toast”?

It’s more like saying “bake me a cake”. 

[Flap Jack]

  It’s more like saying “bake me a cake”. 

I disagree. A cake requires a mix of many ingredients. Toast and kippers are single existing food products put through a particular cooking process.

[Dave]

It’s more like saying “bake me a cake”. 

Bake me a quiche, I’ll be back for shortcrust.

[International Debris]

It rolls off the tongue better than ‘prepare me a kipper’.

[Jonathan Capps]

[GlenTokyo]

[Flap Jack]

Hey, just because the line is tautologous, that doesn’t mean I’d want it changed.

Side note – “Toast me some toast, I’ll be back for toast” is the catchphrase of Ace Talkie.

[Jonathan Capps]

[RunawayTrain]

I think it makes sense, smoking a herring until it becomes a kipper.  It’s not the usual direct verb sense of doing something to an existing object (e.g. toasting bread) but we do refer to the process of making them as ‘smoking kippers’.  Like ‘throwing pots’ for making pottery out of clay – they aren’t pots until they’re made, but we understand the meaning of the phrase.  Same applies to a lot of crafts, crocheting a shawl, sewing a dress, drawing a picture; the verbs are all specific versions of ‘make’.  Run a bath, even!

[clem]

A what? 

[Ian Symes]

Oh, that was a whole thing when we (Danny) were going through that for the Smega Drive.

[Jonathan Capps]

Funny fuckers.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

I don’t get it.

[clem]

Okay, I dunno what Primordial Soup or the DVD subtitles say but I found a thread about this on reddit and I think he might be saying sampler, as in a device used for tagging and collecting DNA samples from livestock. Not sure why they’d have something like that on onboard but whatever. Nevertheless, whenever I hear the line now I shall of course be thinking of a certain crooner or a man with a solitary tiny testicle.

[Flap Jack]

Primordial Soup corroborates “sampler”. It also says it should be “the Macro-Bollington” rather than “a Macro-Bollington”.

For whatever that’s worth.

[Dave]

[Moonlight]

What the hell does this mean? Is it a joke about shitting yourself when you see a snake? Google was unhelpful.

[Unrumble]

What the hell does this mean? Is it a joke about shitting yourself when you see a snake? Google was unhelpful.

Funnily enough, I think I’ve been misunderstanding it all these years, but it’s clicked as a result of reading your post!

I’m now thinking that it literally means if you stop to go to the toilet in ‘rattlesnake country’, be quick, as deadly rattlesnakes will be lurking everywhere and might catch you unawares.

Up to now, I had a vague notion that a ‘toilet stop’ was some kind of physical mechanism or implement, like a plunger or something. One of those that kind of floated through my mind, without ever following the thought through to any kind of conclusion. But seeing it with the subtitles has disabused me of this idea.

[Flap Jack]

Yeah, I agree. It’s that if snakes are about, you won’t spend long on the toilet because the longer you’re there, the greater the chance of getting one up your arse.

Assuming most of the audience would regard that as a bad thing.

[cwickham]

A toilet stop in rattlesnake country would presumably be in a hole in the ground, which might be a snake hole.

[Rudolph]

Yeah, I’ve always figured it meant you don’t want to hang around anywhere too long, with your private parts exposed, where there are dangerous creatures.

[Dave]

I always thought it was a joke about how Cinzano Bianco stains the table.

[Moonlight]

Yeah, I agree. It’s that if snakes are about, you won’t spend long on the toilet because the longer you’re there, the greater the chance of getting one up your arse.
Assuming most of the audience would regard that as a bad thing.

OK that makes WAY more sense. But I was under the mistaken impression that “toilet stop” was a noun.

[Flap Jack]

I think it’s a noun either way, but I take it to mean “stop” as an act rather than a place. Like you could swap “stop” for “break” or “trip” or “visit”.

Although maybe a toilet stop is an actual establishment, like a truck stop. I’ve never been to the wild west.

Probably fair to say however you interpret it that it might not be 100% authentic historical vernacular.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I always thought it was a joke about how Cinzano Bianco stains the table.

It’s because it’s brown so it stains.

And as to the joke, I can see the misunderstanding but I’ve also known it to mean stopping quickly or you might get your arse bit.  Though I also pictured it as just squatting down in the dessert, not necessarily over a privy.

[Moonlight]

Didn’t we spend like four pages arguing about that joke already?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Didn’t we spend like four pages arguing about that joke already?

No new Red Dwarf means no new arguments.  We’re destined to just repeat ourselves over and over.

[Flap Jack]

Cinzano Bianco bottles are notoriously extremely heavy, and have sticky bottoms.

[Dave]

No it’s because they didn’t have bins in bars back then. That’s the joke.

[clem]

What’s Lister on about here? 

[Flap Jack]

Kochanski is Kristine Kochanski, someone he knew in the past.

…

Oh, you mean the “sun is shining” bit. No idea.

[GlenTokyo]

What’s Lister on about here? 

Trying to get the receptionist to look away so he can have a look for her room?

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

It can’t possibly be the sun if it’s on Ganymede. Not at that distance.

[Rudolph]

I vaguely figured he’s trying to spin a story to charm more information out of the receptionist. Or it’s a bit of ad-lib dialogue from Craig that we’re not really meant to notice, as the focus of the shot is Cat looking around and talking to the suitcase.

[International Debris]

I always assumed it’s his description of Kochanski, in a ‘you are my sunshine’ kind of way. 

[Unrumble]

I always assumed it’s his description of Kochanski, in a ‘you are my sunshine’ kind of way. 

[Dave]

I literally only just got that the Enlightenment is called that because it’s made of light.

Where’s Series VIII Holly when you need him?

[RunawayTrain]

I literally only just got that the Enlightenment is called that because it’s made of light.

Where’s Series VIII Holly when you need him?

Ohhhhhh I thought it was a deeper meaning, they’ve been enlightened and live their lives free of mortal/fleshly expectations and constraints – but the simpler explanation works too.

[Stabbim]

What’s Lister on about here? 

He’s trying to draw her attention away from the registry so he can get Kochanski’s booking info himself, possibly even nick the registry so he can search for it at his own pace.

He’s trying to distract the receptionist by shouting about an amazing sight.  This wouldn’t have been too long after the most recent sighting of Haley’s Comet, so “hey! Look! Haley’s Comet!” jokes would’ve still been a thing that was somewhat fresh in their minds. Presumably, on Ganymede a good glimpse of the sun itself would perhaps be a relatively rare/special enough thing to work the same way.

Watch the way he points up at the sky/away from the desk.

[Dave]

Ohhhhhh I thought it was a deeper meaning, they’ve been enlightened and live their lives free of mortal/fleshly expectations and constraints – but the simpler explanation works too.

Oh yeah, I think that idea of supposed heightened sophistication and elevated thinking is the main meaning, based on what Kryten tells us about the arrogance of holoship crews. The fact that it (and they) are made of light is just a fun double-meaning.

[Author]

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