Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Jokes you don't/didn't get

Viewing 50 posts - 851 through 900 (of 947 total)
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  • #273190
    PhilPagett
    Participant

    If they are inflated condoms, I can just about visualise it. Which is what I’ll be doing for the next few minutes.

    #273192

    I do find it slightly odd that, on a ship the size of Red Dwarf, the closest thing they could come to a ball is a blown-up condom rather than, say, a ball.

    #273193
    clem
    Participant

    They at least have the beachball Lister says they use for unicycle polo in the very same scene. I think blowing up the condoms is just supposed to be part of the “fun”.

    #273194

    So what you’re saying Ian, is is that Phil has never had sex, is that it?

    #273197
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    So what you’re saying Ian, is is that Phil has never had sex, is that it?

    Perhaps he’s a Trojan Magnum Zorber rather than a Durex Volleyballer…

    #273205
    Hamish
    Participant

    I do find it slightly odd that, on a ship the size of Red Dwarf, the closest thing they could come to a ball is a blown-up condom rather than, say, a ball.

    Especially since there is a basketball court shown in Pete. Unless that was like the Karaoke Bar on C Deck?

    #273209
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    So what you’re saying Ian, is is that Phil has never had sex, is that it?

    No, he’s just never had protected sex.

    #273213
    PhilPagett
    Participant

    No, he’s just never had protected sex.

    Who told you you needed protection, huh? Some loser who was trying to make you feel small. C’mon, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll take mine off first.

    #275294

    A couple of recent posts in the meme thread (As if they all aren’t meme threads at this point) reminded me of this.

    When I was kid I didn’t know that ‘smoked kippers’ was a thing, or what it meant, or that you might eat them for breakfast.  So when Ace said ‘smoke me a kipper’ I thought it was a euphemism for smoking a cigar or probably worse when I was really young, smoking a kipper as you would a cigar or something.

    #275295
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Given a kipper isn’t a kipper until it’s been smoked, is saying “smoke me a kipper” like saying “toast me some toast”?

    #275296

    Given a kipper isn’t a kipper until it’s been smoked, is saying “smoke me a kipper” like saying “toast me some toast”?

    #275297
    clem
    Participant

    Given a kipper isn’t a kipper until it’s been smoked, is saying “smoke me a kipper” like saying “toast me some toast”?

    It’s more like saying “bake me a cake”. 

    #275298
    Flap Jack
    Participant

      It’s more like saying “bake me a cake”. 

    I disagree. A cake requires a mix of many ingredients. Toast and kippers are single existing food products put through a particular cooking process.

    #275299
    Dave
    Participant

    It’s more like saying “bake me a cake”. 

    Bake me a quiche, I’ll be back for shortcrust.

    #275302

    It rolls off the tongue better than ‘prepare me a kipper’.

    #275303
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster



    #275304
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    #275308
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Hey, just because the line is tautologous, that doesn’t mean I’d want it changed.

    Side note – “Toast me some toast, I’ll be back for toast” is the catchphrase of Ace Talkie.

    #275309
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    #275311
    RunawayTrain
    Participant

    I think it makes sense, smoking a herring until it becomes a kipper.  It’s not the usual direct verb sense of doing something to an existing object (e.g. toasting bread) but we do refer to the process of making them as ‘smoking kippers’.  Like ‘throwing pots’ for making pottery out of clay – they aren’t pots until they’re made, but we understand the meaning of the phrase.  Same applies to a lot of crafts, crocheting a shawl, sewing a dress, drawing a picture; the verbs are all specific versions of ‘make’.  Run a bath, even!

    #275736
    clem
    Participant

    A what? 

    #275740
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Oh, that was a whole thing when we (Danny) were going through that for the Smega Drive.

    #275741
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Funny fuckers.

    #275742

    I don’t get it.

    #275751
    clem
    Participant

    Okay, I dunno what Primordial Soup or the DVD subtitles say but I found a thread about this on reddit and I think he might be saying sampler, as in a device used for tagging and collecting DNA samples from livestock. Not sure why they’d have something like that on onboard but whatever. Nevertheless, whenever I hear the line now I shall of course be thinking of a certain crooner or a man with a solitary tiny testicle.

    #275758
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Primordial Soup corroborates “sampler”. It also says it should be “the Macro-Bollington” rather than “a Macro-Bollington”.

    For whatever that’s worth.

    #275759
    Dave
    Participant

    #275920
    Moonlight
    Participant

    What the hell does this mean? Is it a joke about shitting yourself when you see a snake? Google was unhelpful.

    #275922
    Unrumble
    Participant

    What the hell does this mean? Is it a joke about shitting yourself when you see a snake? Google was unhelpful.

    Funnily enough, I think I’ve been misunderstanding it all these years, but it’s clicked as a result of reading your post!

    I’m now thinking that it literally means if you stop to go to the toilet in ‘rattlesnake country’, be quick, as deadly rattlesnakes will be lurking everywhere and might catch you unawares.

    Up to now, I had a vague notion that a ‘toilet stop’ was some kind of physical mechanism or implement, like a plunger or something. One of those that kind of floated through my mind, without ever following the thought through to any kind of conclusion. But seeing it with the subtitles has disabused me of this idea.

    #275923
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Yeah, I agree. It’s that if snakes are about, you won’t spend long on the toilet because the longer you’re there, the greater the chance of getting one up your arse.

    Assuming most of the audience would regard that as a bad thing.

    #275924
    cwickham
    Participant

    A toilet stop in rattlesnake country would presumably be in a hole in the ground, which might be a snake hole.

    #275926
    Rudolph
    Participant

    Yeah, I’ve always figured it meant you don’t want to hang around anywhere too long, with your private parts exposed, where there are dangerous creatures.

    #275933
    Dave
    Participant

    I always thought it was a joke about how Cinzano Bianco stains the table.

    #275938
    Moonlight
    Participant

    Yeah, I agree. It’s that if snakes are about, you won’t spend long on the toilet because the longer you’re there, the greater the chance of getting one up your arse.
    Assuming most of the audience would regard that as a bad thing.

    OK that makes WAY more sense. But I was under the mistaken impression that “toilet stop” was a noun.

    #275942
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I think it’s a noun either way, but I take it to mean “stop” as an act rather than a place. Like you could swap “stop” for “break” or “trip” or “visit”.

    Although maybe a toilet stop is an actual establishment, like a truck stop. I’ve never been to the wild west.

    Probably fair to say however you interpret it that it might not be 100% authentic historical vernacular.

    #275956

    I always thought it was a joke about how Cinzano Bianco stains the table.

    It’s because it’s brown so it stains.

    And as to the joke, I can see the misunderstanding but I’ve also known it to mean stopping quickly or you might get your arse bit.  Though I also pictured it as just squatting down in the dessert, not necessarily over a privy.

    #276147
    Moonlight
    Participant

    Didn’t we spend like four pages arguing about that joke already?

    #276149

    Didn’t we spend like four pages arguing about that joke already?

    No new Red Dwarf means no new arguments.  We’re destined to just repeat ourselves over and over.

    #276151
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Cinzano Bianco bottles are notoriously extremely heavy, and have sticky bottoms.

    #276153
    Dave
    Participant

    No it’s because they didn’t have bins in bars back then. That’s the joke.

    #276911
    clem
    Participant

    What’s Lister on about here? 

    #276912
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Kochanski is Kristine Kochanski, someone he knew in the past.

    Oh, you mean the “sun is shining” bit. No idea.

    #276914
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    What’s Lister on about here? 

    Trying to get the receptionist to look away so he can have a look for her room?

    #276921

    It can’t possibly be the sun if it’s on Ganymede. Not at that distance.

    #276922
    Rudolph
    Participant

    I vaguely figured he’s trying to spin a story to charm more information out of the receptionist. Or it’s a bit of ad-lib dialogue from Craig that we’re not really meant to notice, as the focus of the shot is Cat looking around and talking to the suitcase.

    #276929

    I always assumed it’s his description of Kochanski, in a ‘you are my sunshine’ kind of way. 

    #276939
    Unrumble
    Participant

    I always assumed it’s his description of Kochanski, in a ‘you are my sunshine’ kind of way. 

    #277520
    Dave
    Participant

    I literally only just got that the Enlightenment is called that because it’s made of light.

    Where’s Series VIII Holly when you need him?

    #277534
    RunawayTrain
    Participant

    I literally only just got that the Enlightenment is called that because it’s made of light.

    Where’s Series VIII Holly when you need him?

    Ohhhhhh I thought it was a deeper meaning, they’ve been enlightened and live their lives free of mortal/fleshly expectations and constraints – but the simpler explanation works too.

    #277536
    Stabbim
    Participant

    What’s Lister on about here? 

    He’s trying to draw her attention away from the registry so he can get Kochanski’s booking info himself, possibly even nick the registry so he can search for it at his own pace.

    He’s trying to distract the receptionist by shouting about an amazing sight.  This wouldn’t have been too long after the most recent sighting of Haley’s Comet, so “hey! Look! Haley’s Comet!” jokes would’ve still been a thing that was somewhat fresh in their minds. Presumably, on Ganymede a good glimpse of the sun itself would perhaps be a relatively rare/special enough thing to work the same way.

    Watch the way he points up at the sky/away from the desk.

Viewing 50 posts - 851 through 900 (of 947 total)
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