Misheard lines

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  • #1704

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Does anyone have any quotes from Red Dwarf that they’ve misheard and took it as read, only to find that years later you’ve got it all wrong?

    Now i’ve wrote this topic starter I can’t think of an example. Bollocks

    Anyways…

    Discuss.

    #123414

    Phil

    For a VERY long time…maybe right up until the DVD…I thought Columbo was “the man with the dirty map who discovered America.”

    I know what he really said now…but I’m actually kind of partial to my mishearing. I think it’s funnier. “Mac” doesn’t add anything to the “Columbo” identification…whereas a dirty map is actually another miniature joke right in the same line…

    Man, Rob and Doug should have let me mishear things officially for GNP.

    #123351

    Andrew

    For years I heard:

    “What are men like in the 23rd century, guy?”

    As opposed to:

    “I’m an enlightened 23rd century guy.”

    I blame Craig entirely.

    #123353

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    I never misheard anything, you big idiots.

    #123480

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    When Lister says “Smeg” I always heard “YOU CUNT!”

    #123523

    Mr Flibble

    Quarantine (I think) when talking about Lister blowing his nose:

    Kryten: A Turner Sea Scape, perhaps?

    became to me

    Kryten: A Turnersiski perhaps?

    With me thinking Turnersiski was some arty bloke I hadn’t heard of.

    #123529

    Andrew

    Oh, thanks for the reminder on the Terrorform news item, John:

    ?The part of you that lusts after meaningless sex?

    For years, to me, this was:

    “The part of you that lusts after mean, English sex.”

    Reclaiming England’s sexual reputation!

    #123500

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Are you blaming Craig for that one as well, Andrew?

    #123530

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    > When Lister says ?Smeg? I always heard ?YOU CUNT!?

    Oh, It’s started, I knew it would!

    #123531

    Phil

    I really do lust after mean English sex.

    Who’s free this weekend?

    #123538

    Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc

    Really, what can’t Craig be blamed for?

    Until I read it in Infiinty Welcomes Careful Drivers, I didn’t know that the line from Lister’s reminisces of art college went “Who’s together by then? You can still taste the toothpaste.” I mean, I heard the last sentence, but the first was just a trainwreck of jumbled syllables in Scouse on my untutored Yank ear.

    #123438

    performingmonkey

    > Really, what can?t Craig be blamed for?

    The crapness of Spider-man 3.

    #123655

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    > Oh, It?s started, I knew it would!

    What has?

    > The crapness of Spider-man 3.

    How very dare you.

    #123354

    Antipodean

    In “The Last Day”, Lister says “Is it anything to do with being stuck opposite Brigitte Nielson in a packed lift?” For some reason I thought this was a “pack-lift”, which I figured was another word for freight elevator. When I heard the “-ed” for the first time the sentence made much more sense.

    #123493

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    > How very dare you.

    Get out!

    #123231

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    The only thing about it I didn’t like was the ending. I won’t say why yet as lots of people probably still haven’t seen it.

    #123469

    Austin Ross

    CRAIG: They were gonna sort that out in the dub!
    WHAT I THOUGHT I HEARD: They were gonna suck that out in the dump!

    RIMMER: Cunnilingus?
    WHAT I THOUGHT I HEARD: Color lingers?

    LISTER: Go back to the DNA splitter! I’ve got an idea!
    WHAT I THOUGHT I HEARD: Bleaghsadfargowellynasacks blah blah blah Scouse language blah.

    In fact, I’ve still never really sorted out just what the fuck Craig is saying in that last one…

    #123496

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    > RIMMER: Cunnilingus?

    When does Rimmer say Cunnilingus?

    #123548

    Andrew

    > When does Rimmer say Cunnilingus?

    Series VIII, Cassandra.

    #123556

    Anonymous

    > I know what he really said now?but I?m actually kind of partial to my mishearing. I think it?s funnier. ?Mac? doesn?t add anything to the ?Columbo? identification?whereas a dirty map is actually another miniature joke right in the same line?

    Well… “map” is in the world of Columbus, while “mac” is in the world of Columbo. To make the joke work, there needs to be something within it merging Columbo with Columbus, which the “map” version doesn’t do. It’s just talking about Columbus whilst using the name Columbo. You might as well say “Columbo was the man with the big ship who discovered America”. There’s no humour in it.

    #123557

    Anonymous

    > I never misheard anything, you big idiots.

    I have to agree with this. I suggest you all start paying attention more readily in the future – doing this should help you grasp more of what’s happening around you and thrust you into a world of intelligence that you might enjoy. When they communicate with you, people are not supposed to sound like the warbling teacher in the Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show. If this happens it is due to you being big idiots, as Cappsy said.

    #123559

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    > Go back to the DNA splitter! I?ve got an idea!

    Sorry to be pedantic, Austin, But isn’t that “DNA suite”?

    A double mishearing perhaps?

    #123562

    Austin Ross

    Like I said, I’ve never sorted out just what he’s saying in that scene.

    #123463

    Phil

    >Well? ?map? is in the world of Columbus, while ?mac? is in the world of Columbo. To make the joke work […]

    Why are you trying to rationalize a mis-hearing?

    #123413

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I have noticed that a lot of mishearings are from Craig, I’ve never realised just how quick he actually speaks.

    And Austin, you did well to pick out THAT much from that little bit of dialogue. Because only until I read the subtitles on the IV DVD did I realise what he actually said.

    And also i’ve noticed that on Camille, Craig says “when Nelson put the telescape to his blind eye…”

    what’s a telescape?

    #123550

    Cloudane

    Funny….. I just discovered this site today and my first thought was “oh so *that’s* what the lyrics were!”

    I misheard “Ganymede and Titan” as “Have you been to Titan?”

    #123502

    Seb Patrick

    I always used to think it was “Carry me to Titan…”

    #123503

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    “Luna city 7, that’s my idea of heaven” I heard as “Luna city 7, that’s menstrual heaven”

    #123618

    Tanya Jones

    G&T Admin

    >?Luna city 7, that?s my idea of heaven? I heard as ?Luna city 7, that?s menstrual heaven?

    An ad campaign just waiting to be born!

    #125207

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    Oh, thanks for the reminder on the Terrorform news item, John:

    ?The part of you that lusts after meaningless sex?

    For years, to me, this was:

    ?The part of you that lusts after mean, English sex.?

    Reclaiming England?s sexual reputation!

    You might want to take another look at this Time Hole article…

    #125209

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    Although, forgetting that:

    Does it sound like our Dave would put up with this? While the future Cat, Rimmer, (unsurprisingly) and Kryten all seem to revel in the luxury, Lister’s dialogue is more subdued. Is it possible that this Lister, inanimate and trapped in a glass jar, is being forced to witness a lifestyle he would otherwise despise? And if so – who is responsible for leaving Lister in this state? Could it be he was reduced to a body-less brain by members of his own crew…?

    That is brilliant. And I never noticed it, but you’re right – his dialogue and performance *are* more subdued than the rest of them…

    #125218

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I’ve found another one in Tikka To Ride by Kryten.

    “Garbled, confusing and quite frankly….”

    What I heard was :
    “Carrabulled….”

    Which I took to be some strange word that meant indecipherable.

    Ironic how the word ‘garbled’, was indeed.

    #125224

    Seph

    Oddly, i’ve never misheard any of Craig’s lines, then again i’m used to listening to people who speak English as a 3rd or 4th language so Craig’s practically the Queen by comparison.

    my only misheard Dwarf line was in Holoship:

    Nirvanah Crane: you make love like a Japanese meal, small portions..

    what I heard: “You make love like a Japanese mule” even with the rest of the sentance I didn’t click it was supposed to be ‘meal’ until I read the subtitles.

    #125226

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    I find it hard to concentrate on any of the lines when Jane Horrocks is in that nighty…

    #125234

    TheLeen

    No matter how many times I tell myself it is “goldfish shoals, nibbling” I still each and everytime I hear “goldfish are snivelling”… I know it doesn’t make sense… at all…

    #125239

    Andrew

    > That is brilliant. And I never noticed it, but you?re right – his dialogue and performance *are* more subdued than the rest of them?

    It’s total extrapolation, of of course – nothing Rob and Doug consciously put there, and likely the product of the last-minute writing – but the whole “Don’t worry about me/absolutely dandy” thing is the kind of dialogue given to someone PRETENDING to be okay.

    I like to think that the others would have boiled him alive in his jar if he’d spoken out against them.

    #125240

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    extrapo-what-alation?

    #125281

    Anonymous

    When I was much younger and first watched Terrorform, the bit where the Cat crouches by Rimmer’s “Charm” gravestone and says “Hey – this one’s Minute” was misunderstood by my feeble young brain as “Hey – this one’s my newt!”…as in for some reason Cat had found the grave of his pet newt.

    #125283

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Snap!

    #125287

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    I thought that Lister’s Father’s dog was called ‘Hammer’ until the other day.

    #125285

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Please Hammer, Don’t Bite ‘Em.

    #125286

    Andrew

    > I thought that Lister?s Father?s dog was called ?Hammer? until the other day.

    AHHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    #125290

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    Indeed.

    #125291

    Pete Part Three

    Who’s Lister? You mean Fister, surely?

    #125294

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I used to think Lister’s dog was called “Hammer” as well, it’s a perfectly normal name for a dog, Hannah sounds rather silly in comparison…

    #125297

    Phil

    >Please Hammer, Don?t Bite ?Em.

    Ian get your own catch phrase my long haired friend or are you not acute enough to come up with one yourself

    #125301

    Tanya Jones

    G&T Admin

    Stop it, Phil, you’re scaring me.

    #125311

    Seb Patrick

    Back to that Time Hole article :

    Ah yes, Konchanski. The love of Lister’s life. In the real world, no question. But in his own mind? As Camille proved, Lister’s ideal woman is actually a pretty Scouse lass with her head screwed on and a nice line in sarcasm.

    But… doesn’t the script call her “Kochanski Camille”? Isn’t she supposed to remind Lister of KK? And isn’t her accent, in fact, meant to be Scottish rather than Scouse?

    #125312

    Pete Part Three

    I thought she was Irish.

    Anyway, I really like the comment that, ironically enough, in terms of Lister’s prospective life-partner, the real-life Kochanski is the dream but Camille Kochanski is the reality.

    >But? doesn?t the script call her ?Kochanski Camille??

    I was thinking about this earlier as I watched Camille last night. It just seems like an interesting continity nod to name the character. She’s nothing like Chlo? Annett’s Kochanski but the “banter” is kind of reminiscent of the stuff in the Drive Room in The End with Clare Grogan.

    It would have completely overshadowed the scene in Camille if Grogan had inexplicably turned up,mind, so it definitely made sense to go with someone else.

    #125314

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Apart from anything else, if it had been your actual Kochanski, Lister would have twigged straight away that Camille was a Pleasure GELF.

    #125315

    Andrew

    > But? doesn?t the script call her ?Kochanski Camille??

    I’ve always suspected this was a rewrite thing more than anything else. Neither version of the scene filmed made any nod, whatsoever, to the girl resembling Kochanski. Aside from anything else, if she was literally Kochanski, when Lister walks in wouldn’t he be a little surprised to see her?! At that point in the story he doesn’t know she’s a GELF…

    I’ve never asked, but it seems likely that it was gong to be Kochanski in one draft and then the guys either changed their minds, or couldn’t get Clare Grogan.

    > And isn?t her accent, in fact, meant to be Scottish rather than Scouse?

    Really?! The actress is Irish, but I thought she was playing as a rough match for Lister’s accent.

    Having just watched it back, though, yeah, I’m struck by two things. One, how Irish she does, in fact, sound. (I guess you see what you want to see, but one accent did evolve from the other, I guess.) And two, that the lighting changes quite significantly between the original scene and the Rhatigan version.

    The background’s much more yellow in the original, a paler white in the second version. How did I not see that before?

    #125321

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    Bloody hell! I never noticed that either! The proof.

    What always gets me about that scene is that out of Lister with his appalling flirting, and Rimmer with what I genuinely think would be an interesting photo collection of 20th century telegraph poles… I’d rather spend the time with Rimmer.

    #125478

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    > I genuinely think would be an interesting photo collection of 20th century telegraph poles? I?d rather spend the time with Rimmer.

    Sounds like a crazy fun packed life youu live there John.

    #125480

    TheLeen

    I don’t think the telegraph pole photos are very interesting. Now my collection of sewer lid photos from around the world…

    #125491

    Dave

    >Now my collection of sewer lid photos from around the world?

    In this part of the world we call them manholes, but that would sound incredibly rude

    #125493

    TheLeen

    Can I take a picture of your manhole?

    … no, that doesn’t work for me tbh…

    #125495

    penny

    >Can I take a picture of your manhole?
    >? no, that doesn?t work for me tbh?

    Sounds like a bad chatup line.

    #125498

    Dave

    >Can I take a picture of your manhole?

    >Sounds like a bad chatup line

    Sounds like dialogue in porn films that really puts you off

    #125500

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    > In this part of the world we call them manholes, but that would sound incredibly rude

    “WAHEY! now that sounds INCREDIBLY RUDE!! Sounds a bit like “bum”, doesn’t it?”

    #125852

    Jonsmad

    Before Series one was repeated or released on video
    I used to think Rimmers line in Better Than Life…

    “So I said to Holister…” was some kind of bad misspronounced “Hol Lister” combo. Because I didnt realise that was the captains surname, and I thought he was trying to start a boast about something heroic he imagined, that had happened on ship during his time since being dead, as opposed to when he was alive with the original crew. Even though it’s lister that calls Holly as Hol. Which makes me twice as dumb.

    #125856

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I have always wondered why they had Holly, Lister, and Hollister as names…

    #125857

    Phil

    >Holly, Lister, and Hollister as names?

    Interesting!

    They changed Hollister for the books, though, didn’t they? I remember Dwarf’s captain was now female but I can’t remember her name…

    #125858

    Phil

    I just checked. Turns out he was replaced in the novels by Captain Rimcat.

    #125860

    Andrew

    Her name was Captain Kirk. Seriously.

    Captain Tau in the USA version. Hollister’s a name from the guy’s schooldays, I think – suspect the changes were to avoid exactly the confusion being described.

    #125862

    Pete Part Three

    I assume that someone called Tranter is from Grant Naylor’s school days too. James Tranter is the real name of Bongo in Dimension Jump. The ‘same’ character gets a semi-name change to Peter Tranter in Backwards (the novel) who, oddly enough, has a sister who we meet in Psirens.

    Then there’s Deck Sergeant Sam Murray who gets the briefest of mentions in the original pilot script and we get to meet in the episode Holoship.

    #125864

    Andrew

    And Sam Murray either changes gender, or is half of Red Dwarf’s first gay couple – in the pilot script s/he is described as spitting up from a boyfriend.

    #125889

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    As I walked home today from work, I realised what the phrase “khazi-droids” meant in Quarantine.

    Before, I thought it was some weird corruption of “caucasian”…

    #125890

    mick

    >And Sam Murray either changes gender, or is half of Red Dwarf?s first gay couple – in the pilot script s/he is described as spitting up from a boyfriend.

    It’s a brave new world ;)

    #125938

    Anonymous

    “I juggled the golfish” was misheard by me as “I dribbled the golfish” on every single viewing up until…yesterday.

    #125960

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I thought it was “juggled”…

    #125959

    Paul Muller

    So it wasn’t, “I drank all the goldfish.”?

    Also. “Ouroborous” – “He must be thicker than a ticket tout’s wad.” Got that about a week ago, always thought it was something like “ticket tell’s what”.

    Still don’t get it.

    And Lister’s line to Rimmer after he calls Lister 3rd rate scum, I still can’t work out. Honestly, I just cannot work out what Craig is saying. Help me.

    #125962

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    The subtitles on the DVD are quite good for stuff like this. Unlike the Blackadder ones which mishear things that are blatently obvious.

    For a really bad exmaple of the subtitler not knowing the voices watch the subtitles of the League Of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse, they haven’t a fucking clue whos voice is who!

    #125971

    Andrew

    > Got that about a week ago, always thought it was something like ?ticket tell?s what?….Still don?t get it.

    A ticket tout traditionally holds a large wad of banknotes. A wad that ends the day being extremely thick.

    I’m not saying it’s actually, y’know, funny…

    > And Lister?s line to Rimmer after he calls Lister 3rd rate scum, I still can?t work out.

    “Yeah – but remember, I used to be fourth-rate scum. I’ve dragged meself up by me bootstraps, bub.”

    I still like so much of that scene’s dialogue.

    #125973

    Anonymous

    Ah, I remember the good old days of BBC Ceefax subtitles. During the original broadcast of Series 5, they insisted on naming one of the characters “Crighton”.

    #125975

    Andrew

    On broadcast of Series VII’s Duct Soup, “Hot branding iron” became “hot brandy” on the 888 subs.

    #125977

    Dave

    In The League Of Gentlemen Series 1 when Pauline threatens to stop Mickey’s benefits and says “Yeah, both claims”, the 888 subtitles said “Yeah, birth claims”

    #125981

    Phil

    >?Yeah, birth claims?

    The DVD subtitles might have this, too. I definitely remember seeing it transcribed that way…I just can’t remember where.

    Still, I don’t know how the 888 thing works in the UK…but in America, our closed-captioning system fairly frequently features typos (pretty much excusable for live broadcasts), blatant mishearings (somewhat less excusable), and an awful lot of keyboard mash in place of actual words (which is utterly disgraceful).

    You’ll end up with a live transcription that looks something like “I REM67EMBER NOW. I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND AK1SJQ @#RJIWL6748 BLOOD.”

    I can only assume the keyboard mash is to make up for lost ground on the transcription…they must have word-count monitored at the end, or something and just need some nonsense to make up the numbers.

    I’d imagine that’s far more jarring to a deaf viewer than just omitting a word, filling it in logically, or, worse come to worse, just typing the phrase (INCOMPREHENSIBLE). At least that doesn’t interrupt the logical thought process.

    #125982

    Anonymous

    I don’t know why the bother subtitling live news etc. It’s always a complete mess.

    Wonder if it’s done by hand or is it an automated speech-recognition system?

    It also really annoys me on TV or DVD subtitles when they seemingly can’t be bothered to type exactly what the people are saying and give an abbreviated version or simply miss bits out. Doesn’t show much respect to the script writers.

    #125983

    Andrew

    > I don?t know why the bother subtitling live news etc. It?s always a complete mess.

    Is “Because the deaf would probably like to know what was going on, too” a too-obvious answer?

    I often stay with friends where the teletext subs are constantly on for, say, Eastenders, and live shows like X-Factor – and there’s WAY more that’s good than bad. And it makes all the difference when someone in the room isn’t able to hear the sound.

    > It also really annoys me on TV or DVD subtitles when they seemingly can?t be bothered to type exactly what the people are saying and give an abbreviated version or simply miss bits out. Doesn?t show much respect to the script writers.

    As a writer, I get the niggle. But you have to abbreviate sometimes to make the thing possible to read in the short time it’s on-screen. It’s fine if you already know the show, or are listening with the sound on – otherwise long lines really do sometimes need condensing. At which point it depends who’s done the job as to the quality of the job.

    It’s certainly got nothing to do with not being bothered!

    #125984

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    The abbreviation of subtitles is especially a problem in comedy. Often, the thing that’s funny is completely removed from the lines – meaning it’s a translation of the literal meaning of words, but the actual humour is removed.

    It’s an impossible problem to solve. I get that lines have to be shortened – but when single words removed can wreck the humour in a line, I don’t know what you can do.

    #125991

    Ben Paddon

    My Mum used to put the subtitles on for Top of the Pops, for an impromptu Karaoke session.

    #125998

    peas_and_corn

    the worst in subtitles I have seen so far is on one of the Simpsons’ DVDs.

    “…and there was that unfortunate bout of tourettes”
    became
    “…and that bout of rabies”

    #126000

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    > Wonder if it?s done by hand or is it an automated speech-recognition system?

    It’s done by hand, more often than not, with a stenotype. Clever piece of kit.

    If you want to know more:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stenotype

    #126002

    Phil

    >one of the Simpsons? DVDs.

    I remember a Simpsons book I used to have…probably in a box somewhere. An official release, too. They were reproducing an exchange between Mr. Burns and Smithers from Team Homer (if I remember correctly) when Mr. Burns is balancing his checkbook.

    In the show it was something like:

    BURNS: Bowling?! I don’t remember paying for any bowling.
    SMITHERS: No, sir, that’s *boweling.* Remember that month we didn’t do it?
    BURNS: Ooh, that was unpleasant for all involved.

    In the book they transcribed it as:

    SMITHERS: No, sir, that’s *boweling.* Remember that monkey didn’t do it?

    Which, alright, maybe someone misheard it…but IF it was misheard in that way, it’s just nonsense. Why put it in the book?

    #119367

    Phil

    I remembered another one. From Back to Reality.

    I heard Billy “Granny Killer” Doyle as Billy “Granikula” Doyle. I had absolutely no idea what that was supposed to mean for many, many viewings. I think I just assumed it was some British reference I’d never understand.

    It’s strange, too, because I wouldn’t think of Chris as being very unclear in his speech patterns (at least not when compared to Craig, or Robert’s Kryten voice) but both of my major mishearings were due to Mr. Barrie.

    #119388

    peas_and_corn

    http://www.snpp.com has lists of errors in the books. The stuff on that site is quite… unsettling.

    #119390

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    SNPP is great! I remember finding that site while I was still at school, and reading pretty much every single list over a very short period of time. On dial-up. I also remember reading the Movie News section, and thinking “yeah, right, that’ll never happen”.

    #119391

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    GOOD GOD, This is a great site!

    #119409

    Seb Patrick

    >SNPP is great! I remember finding that site while I was still at school, and reading pretty much every single list over a very short period of time.

    I heartily endorse this sentiment or product.

    They’ve never got round to updating their episode capsules properly, though, have they? Nevertheless… still the number one source of Simpsons info out there, by far.

    #119419

    peas_and_corn

    Well, from what I gather they are updating… slowly. They recently finished season 9, so they’re quite a way behind.

    #228069

    bloodteller

    i know this thread is a decade old but i was watching The End today and i just realised the line in the first scene is “No? Well shut up and push the trolley.” but i’ve ALWAYS heard it as “no? shut up then.”

    has anyone else heard it like that or is this some kind of Mandela Effect thing?

    #228073

    quinn_drummer

    No way is it “shut up and push the trolley”! Does audience laughter drown out the second half of the line or something because I’d have sworn it was “shut up then”

    #228075

    bloodteller

    i could’ve sworn it was “shut up then” too but watching it just now it was definitely “shut up and push the trolley”

    i’m going to check the DVD subtitles just to be sure though

    #228076

    quinn_drummer

    Netflix subs say (and I heard) “shut up and push the trolley”

    This is like discovering there are lyrics in the opening theme, only not like that at all, and shit.

    #228077

    bloodteller

    https://imgur.com/a/JaDyH

    yeah the line is definitely “shut up and push the trolley” but to further complicate matters the DVD subtitles say “stop that and push the trolley” for some reason

    #228080

    quinn_drummer

    Isn’t there a bit of history with the subtitles being, well just completely wrong? G&T commentaries go on about it a lot

    #228084

    bloodteller

    i dont know, i’ve never really watched Red Dwarf episodes with the subtitles on.

    i would assume some subtitles would have to be altered/made shorter so you actually have time to read them in the small duration of time they’re on screen, but “stop that and push the trolley” is inexcusable

    #228098

    Ben Saunders

    What the fuck?

    #228101

    Warbodog

    “You can’t sunbathe, you can’t have a barbecue, and every time you go out, you’ve got to wear a washable hat and lend it to your car.”

    #228102

    Ben Saunders

    For what it’s worth I remember the inflection/delivery of “Santa Claus, what a bastard, he’s the fat little git who sneaks down chimneys stealing all the kids’ favourite toys” being completely different from what it actually is

    #228103

    bloodteller

    not strictly a misheard line, but since my first series of red dwarf was series V i always assumed lister was bald since he wears that hat for most of the season and craig charles’ hair is really fucking weird in it too. this led to a lot of bizarre childhood drawings in which lister resembled karl pilkington more than craig charles.

    #228104

    Warbodog

    Misunderstood/uninformed lines: As a kid, I thought Cat saying “if I was dead, you most certainly could not swing me around in here” was a hilariously R@nd0M line, until my (younger) brother informed me that it was a well-known expression. It was nowhere near as funny in context.

    #228128

    Ben Saunders

    “Brylcreem it’s called” was funny to me in 2001 because my brother had a tub of Brylcreem on his desk at the time. But that was the last time I ever saw a tub of the stuff so I wonder how many people watching for the first time today will get the joke.

    #228135

    Dave

    When Rimmer in Polymorph notes the abbreviation of the ‘Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society’, I always thought he said SPITONAWRIST.

    #228220

    Seb Patrick

    Isn’t there a bit of history with the subtitles being, well just completely wrong? G&T commentaries go on about it a lot

    Oh, shut up, Patrick.

    #228222

    Katydid

    “Brylcreem it’s called” was funny to me in 2001 because my brother had a tub of Brylcreem on his desk at the time. But that was the last time I ever saw a tub of the stuff so I wonder how many people watching for the first time today will get the joke.

    The real question is why they choose to follow up the line by explaining the joke for the audience, in case they didn’t get it.

    #228255

    NoFro

    The brylcreem joke is actually great, as predictable as the punchline is. The explanation does completely kill it though.

    #228258

    bloodteller

    there was a similar line in Pete where they explain about the Little Chef Waitress joke and it just sucks the humour right out of it

    #228262

    Pete Part Three

    Oh here’s one.

    “This is worse than playing away at Leeds!” in Stoke Me A Clipper. For at least the first watches, I heard it as “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to lead”.

    Whatever that means.

    #228269

    bloodteller

    the first time i watched Demons and Angels i thought Cat said “hey guys, they’re gonna be playing our tunes at the Wilbur Awards!” but it turns out it’s “they’re playing our tune; the awooga waltz!”

    #228270

    bloodteller

    i also used to think rimmer was called “Rimmeire” because Lister pronounces it really oddly in Demons and Angels. on top of that, the line “as was using his uniform as a temporary latrine’ i heard as “using his uniform as a tent of the tree.” it was my first episode of red dwarf though so i think these were understandable mistakes

    #228273

    International Debris

    the first time i watched Demons and Angels i thought Cat said “hey guys, they’re gonna be playing our tunes at the Wilbur Awards!” but it turns out it’s “they’re playing our tune; the awooga waltz!”

    To be fair, that line is said at such speed that it’s bloody hard to make it out even when you know what it is.

    #228278

    Ben Saunders

    The awooga waltz is a fucking brilliant line.

    #228304

    PFMC84

    Rimmer discovering what shirt tails are for and using his uniform as a temporary latrine… Can holograms shit and piss or are these just elaborate ways of joking that “Rimmer shit/pissed himself” metaphorically rather than physically. If it’s an absure idea that holograms could ever piss or shit, what happens the Mimosian banquet Rimmer eats in Legion?

    #228305

    International Debris

    The digestive process of a hardlight hologram is something I have a feeling Rob and Doug didn’t consider too closely before writing it in. I always assumed it just came out the other end when his inner chamber became ful- no, it’s too weird.

    #228309

    Ben Saunders

    The first thing Rimmer felt when he became hard light was an extreme and urgent desire to do the fat steaming shit he didn’t have time to do before he died because he was apologising to the captain for killing everyone

    #228407

    Warbodog

    Naively misunderstood lines: Currently watching Dimension Jump for the first time in a few years (what an ep). I only just got the joke “rubber shares went up this morning.” I used to assume it was something to do with his clothing, and never updated that innocent first impression. 32 years old.

    #228408

    Ben Saunders

    Oh God THAT’S what that means

    #228442

    flanl3

    Oh no.

    #228450

    bloodteller

    condoms?

    #228458

    flanl3

    Either that, dildos, tires, shoes, or bouncy balls.

    Or something else I’m missing entirely.

    #228461

    Ben Saunders

    Tyres for his many sports cars

    #228466

    si

    Two pound black ribbed nobblers.

    #228474

    Dave

    Until I just looked it up, I genuinely thought Holly was asking Rimmer if he wanted “a ham with your homework”.

    #228475

    quinn_drummer

    Home work ham is very common, I can understand that misunderstanding there.

    #228479

    Dave

    It’s one of those things I just never questioned. That someone might want a bit of ham with their homework. Which, now that I type it, seems obviously stupid.

    #228495

    bloodteller

    does the ham come in a sandwich or is it just on its own?

    #228496

    Dave

    I imagine a full, glazed ham.

    #228505

    Hamish

    Steamed hams?

    Please, don’t hit me.

    #228567

    Warbodog

    Mistaken identity/Ductpdate: Just remembered that the same younger brother who corrected me about Duct Soup’s dead-cat-swinging reference himself thought that “it’s Princess Leia” was a cheeky nod to the “fact” that Kochanski was played by the same actress as Princess Leia from off of Star Wars 20 years earlier. I WON THAT.

    #228576

    Katydid

    Rimmer discovering what shirt tails are for and using his uniform as a temporary latrine… Can holograms shit and piss or are these just elaborate ways of joking that “Rimmer shit/pissed himself” metaphorically rather than physically. If it’s an absure idea that holograms could ever piss or shit, what happens the Mimosian banquet Rimmer eats in Legion?

    I’m pretty sure we had an entire thread about this before.

    #228584

    PFMC84

    Was that discussion nominated for Hall of Fame status?

    #228599

    Plastic Percy

    The first time I heard it, I thought Lister’s “Fat Bastardoria” was “Fat Bast-at-the-Rear”.

    #228604

    bloodteller

    the first time i heard low rimmer’s speech i always heard it as “i’m going to lash you to within an inch of your life….and then….i’m going to hurt you”.

    tbh i think it sounds more threatening that way, him saying he’s going to have sex with lister isn’t nearly as sinister

    #228605

    bloodteller

    demons & angels is really one that you have to watch twice to understand what everyone is saying i guess

    #228624

    Warbodog

    “You never had the right set of pens for your genie drawing.”

    Okay, I knew that wasn’t the actual word, and it was just something similar-sounding that I always allowed to pass over my head like some of the cultural references. Apparently “G & E drawing.” I don’t know what that is.

    #228626

    Ben Saunders

    What episode is that from? What’s a good+e drawing?

    #228627

    Pete Part Three

    The line is from Me²

    I think G.E stands for General Electric. And G.E drawings are very detailed diagrams of trains.

    I think.

    #228631

    Warbodog

    Looks like it’s in the first novel’s adaptation too, so obviously a familiar enough reference in the late 80s. Either that, or Rimmer’s exam prep involves doing a drawing of a genie.

    #228632

    NoFro

    I’ve seen “ham with your homework” mentioned as a misheard line a few times. Never heard it that way myself but it’s interesting that several people have.

    #228634

    Warbodog

    “Lister to Red Dwarf, we have an Armitzvah complete smegpot.”

    #228638

    Ben Saunders

    When I was young I didn’t know that the word “shoals existed” so I thought they were just pronouncing “shites” really weirdly.

    #228643

    Dave

    Goldfish shites nibbling at my tights?

    #228648

    International Debris

    “Lister to Red Dwarf, we have an Armitzvah complete smegpot.”

    Yes! It took a long time for me to work that out.

    #228649

    bloodteller

    i think it’s “our midst” isn’t it?

    #228652

    NoFro

    It is.

    I don’t think I’ve had any of these confusions…

    #228657

    International Debris

    I think my version was “Lister to Red Dwarf, we have Armizvah’d a complete smegpot”, as in a term to mean they’ve been saddled with. A well known term.

    #228665

    bloodteller

    i thought it was bar mitzvah

    #228668

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    The first time I heard it, I thought Lister’s “Fat Bastardoria” was “Fat Bast-at-the-Rear”.

    I heard it as “The Fat Bastard Of The Year”.

    #228671

    Ridley

    Lister does call Chen “Ched” in Back in the Ren, right?

    #228677

    Ben Saunders

    Fat Bastarrhoea, what happens when you eat too much Indian food

    #228729

    Dave

    In Meltdown, when Abraham Lincoln says “That’s Rasputin!”, even I know what he’s saying I can’t not here “That’s rice pudding!”

    #228775

    Me Own Stunts

    Ouroboros:

    “With us going round and round in time, the human race can never become extinct. We’re like a kind of holding pan.”

    #228800

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Off-topic, but that line is complete bollocks, isn’t it? When Lister dies, it doesn’t matter that there’s another version of him still alive *in the past*.

    #228805

    International Debris

    It doesn’t even work as “the human race will survive for a lot longer”, given that we now know there are other humans out there in the 3 million years later universe.

    #228808

    Pete Part Three

    >When Lister dies, it doesn’t matter that there’s another version of him still alive *in the past*.

    Indeed. We can all make that claim.

    #228813

    Flap Jack

    Exactly.

    Lister’s life may not have one point of origin, but it definitely will have one point of conclusion.

    (Ouroboros is kind of bad, folks. I don’t know if you’d heard.)

    #228815

    bloodteller

    >Off-topic, but that line is complete bollocks, isn’t it? When Lister dies, it doesn’t matter that there’s another version of him still alive *in the past*.

    i think the point of the scene is he’s putting himself under the pool table so that he can become the last human being alive in the future- he’s basically made it his own “destiny” to wind up 3 million years in the future on a shit spaceship, because otherwise the human race would be wholly extinct.

    it’s still bollocks though because they meet humans in X and XI and XII, and the proposed “Earth” for VIII was apparently meant to have the human race still living on Earth 3 million years in the future. so really he’s just made it so he has to be on a spaceship in the future on his own for absolutely no reason at all

    #228819

    Ben Saunders

    To be fair Lister doesn’t know what’s going to happen in later series

    #228827

    Flap Jack

    i think the point of the scene is he’s putting himself under the pool table so that he can become the last human being alive in the future- he’s basically made it his own “destiny” to wind up 3 million years in the future on a shit spaceship, because otherwise the human race would be wholly extinct.

    No, because the quote is “With us going round and round in time, the human race can never become extinct.”

    That’s never become extinct, not “the human race can only become extinct thousands/millions of years after it would do otherwise” – and “round and round in time” part refers to the human race “continuing” through Lister in the past, because if it’s just about Lister surviving an extra 3 million years, then the fact that it’s a time loop wouldn’t make a difference.

    #228828

    Dave

    I thought the point was that humanity would never become extinct because each baby Lister sent back in time would then go forward and have a baby of its own, which would itself go forward and have a baby, and so on. So Lister immediately becomes not only his own son, but also his own grandson, his own great grandson, his own great-great grandson and so on and so on to infinity.

    All these babies just happen to be the same person because of the time loop.

    #228837

    Pete Part Three

    >So Lister immediately becomes not only his own son, but also his own grandson, his own great grandson, his own great-great grandson and so on and so on to infinity.

    I guess that’s what Doug/Lister was getting at, but it just doesn’t stand up to a huge amount of logic. There’s two chronologies here: there’s Lister’s timeline (his birth > his death) and the Universe’s timeline (the big bang > the big crunch).

    While, the future of the human race is based on its continued existence in the Universe’s timeline (which in turn is dependent on Lister being alive…because he’s the last human), the fact that Lister is his own family tree is irrelevant. One day he will die, and the Universe will continue…without the human race. It doesn’t matter that 60 years ago, Lister travelled back in time with a 9 month old version of himself. That was 60 years ago.

    He could tell Jim and Bexley when they were born “the human race can never become extinct.” because the human race can continue in them (provided they, um, find some company). But Lister (30ish) and Lister (9 months) doesn’t give a new generation in the Univese’s timeline, so has no effect on the human race. So, er maybe Lister is telling himself that the human race can never become extinct because he is destined to be the last human, have sex with himself in a parallel universe and give birth to twins. Fair play; he’s doing his bit.

    #228842

    Ben Saunders

    Just thought it’s a shame Kochanski didn’t get to say goodbye to her son before he was put under the pool table, but that would have spoiled the ending, eh. Maybe she’s waiting outside the pub.

    Just checked the plot synopsis to get my facts straight and noticed there were eighteen months between the tubing and the abandonment so at least they got some time together (at least nine months?)

    I just realised the ending of Ouroboros features Lister using the Time Drive to go back to a very specific place in time and space – the Aigburth Arms in 2155. Did they use the time drive to go anywhere deliberately before of was where they ended up random? I know in Tikka Xtended Lister sends some curry back a few weeks but don’t know if that is “canon.”

    It begs the question of why they don’t use the Time Drive to find Red Dwarf. Or go back to Earth three million years ago, or now. Or maybe it doesn’t and I’m talking shite.

    #228843

    Ben Saunders

    They do it in Tikka. They go back to kill Kennedy. God damn.

    #228844

    Dave

    I guess that’s what Doug/Lister was getting at, but it just doesn’t stand up to a huge amount of logic. There’s two chronologies here: there’s Lister’s timeline (his birth > his death) and the Universe’s timeline (the big bang > the big crunch).

    Both those are linear timelines, so one is entirely within the other anyway. You could argue that another is the human race’s timeline (birth of the first human > Lister’s death). Which again falls within the universe’s timeline.

    But the (admittedly slightly poetic) point being made by the story is that the time loop creates a new chronology that goes round and round forever, with Lister’s bloodline never ending as his family continues to give birth to descendents for an infinite amount of time.

    And in doing so, Lister prevents himself from being the last human (because there will always be another to come after him – even if it’s just him again), and the human race will go on for an infinite amount of time thanks to the timeloop (even if that timeloop’s infinite amount of time is itself contained within a finite amount of linear time).

    I can see why some people don’t like it, but I think it’s quite a clever way of giving humanity some kind of happy ending while maintaining the premise of Lister being the last human and humanity destined to become extinct as soon as he dies.

    #228846

    Jimboid

    What I don’t understand is why Lister’s kid with Kochanski would be Lister, rather than a different person – which, as I understand it, is the standard.

    Maybe the episode explains it. It’s a long time since I’ve seen VII and this isn’t a good enough reason to change that.

    #228847

    Jimboid

    Also, sightly back on topic – what does he shout at Kochanski when he’s chasing her down the dimensional tunnel?

    Is it “Blum” or something? I get that he’s unsure what to call her and it’s an unintentional portmanteau of “Mum” and something else. But what?

    #228848

    Ben Saunders

    “Mum”, surely?

    >that timeloop’s infinite amount of time is itself contained within a finite amount of linear time
    Insert image of Rimmer trying to remember what a quasar is here

    #228849

    Pete Part Three

    >Both those are linear timelines, so one is entirely within the other anyway.

    But that’s the point. It’s part of the Universe’s timeline. And it’s nowhere near the end of it, unless Lister dies on the day the Universe collapses in on itself.

    >and the human race will go on for an infinite amount of time thanks to the timeloop (even if that timeloop’s infinite amount of time is itself contained within a finite amount of linear time).

    For time to work in this way, it’s necessary for it to be repeating endlessly. The fact that the past is a “destination” means that it still exists once it’s no longer the present. If that’s the case then the fact that Lister is traversing time in the wrong direction is kind of incidental.

    >What I don’t understand is why Lister’s kid with Kochanski would be Lister

    Because it always was. It’s a single timeline. He spot a crate of Ouroboros batteries and Kryten explains what that means. This rings a bell for Lister that because he was found abandoned in a box that was marked “Ouroboros” when he was born. He then makes a pretty crazy deduction that the sperm donation he made must be him. And so it is him. It’s a predestination paradox, kinda like The Terminator.

    The question remains of who was the father of Kochanski’s Lister.

    #228851

    Jimboid

    The predestination paradox doesn’t really explain the genetics of it, though.

    #228852

    Flap Jack

    I can see why some people don’t like it, but I think it’s quite a clever way of giving humanity some kind of happy ending while maintaining the premise of Lister being the last human and humanity destined to become extinct as soon as he dies.

    It’s all in how you interpret it. You/Doug say “He fathers himself, which means infinite Listers, forever!” while I say “No, there’s just one Lister total, who’s stuck in a stable time loop, and said time loop makes no difference to how many humans there are, or how long Lister lives, or anything at all. All Lister does is ensure that his life occurs in the way it always did. Lister still dies, humanity still dies, nothing matters any more than it did before, goodnight.”

    It begs the question of why they don’t use the Time Drive to find Red Dwarf. Or go back to Earth three million years ago, or now. Or maybe it doesn’t and I’m talking shite

    You definitely aren’t talking shite. The time drive in Tikka To Ride/Ouroboros is one of the most glaring plot holes (for want of a better term) in all of Red Dwarf. No fan theory or headcanon can possibly explain why they don’t even try to use it to get back to Earth. Out of Time dodged this problem expertly, but Tikka… didn’t.

    I’m reminded of Ed Bye making light of people complaining about the time drive on the DVD documentary, essentially amounting to “Geez, calm down guys, the time drive was just a thing we made up!”, which is a perfectly valid defense if you don’t think making your TV show’s overall story cohesive is important.

    So many episodes managed to use time travel to tell a particular story while making it believable that it was very limited in use – Future Echoes, Stasis Leak, Timeslides, The Inquisitor, Out of Time, Lemons, Twentica, Give & Take, and even … *sigh* … Timewave – but oh no, there’s just no way they could have done their “oops we accidentally saved JFK” plot without giving the crew unlimited space-time traveling capabilities.

    #228853

    Ben Saunders

    In series six they have both a time drive and a teleporter, which begs the question why they can’t just use one after the other to end up in a specific time and place, again. I remember thinking this during the “we’re in deep space in the 12th century thing” – you have a teleporter!

    What the fuck happened to the matter paddle in Meltdown? Did they destroy it? Oh wait they mention it’s back on Red Dwarf in Back to Earth. So now they have two teleporters and a time drive which is also capable of teleporting, depending on which series it’s used in.

    #228854

    Flap Jack

    In series six they have both a time drive and a teleporter, which begs the question why they can’t just use one after the other to end up in a specific time and place, again. I remember thinking this during the “we’re in deep space in the 12th century thing” – you have a teleporter!

    I mean, my inference was that any teleport they had could only transport them a limited range/back to Starbug – Blake’s 7 style – not to any location in the entire universe.

    #228855

    bloodteller

    they explain in Tikka Xtended that they can’t use the time drive to go back to Earth 3 million years ago as they might end up causing another paradox or messing up history, with Lister promising to Rimmer that his timejump to 3 weeks ago to get the ship’s curry back will be the last time they use it.

    they use it again in Ouroboros but i guess that’s a fixed point in time so there was no worry that they’d fuck things up

    #228856

    bloodteller

    they also use it again in the Children In Need skit but i don’t think that’s really considered to be part of the same continuity

    #228860

    International Debris

    Just checked the plot synopsis to get my facts straight and noticed there were eighteen months between the tubing and the abandonment so at least they got some time together (at least nine months?)

    When does this happen in Lister’s chronology? Sometime during VII, but… when? Is there an 18 month gap between Blue and Beyond a Joke or something?

    What I don’t understand is why Lister’s kid with Kochanski would be Lister, rather than a different person – which, as I understand it, is the standard.

    Oh yes, it’s utter bollocks. If Kochanski was Lister’s mum, he’d be 50% Kochanski already, so when he had a kid, the baby would then be that + another 50% Kochanski (so 75% Kochanski) and so on and so on. Genetically it’s utterly impossible.

    You definitely aren’t talking shite. The time drive in Tikka To Ride/Ouroboros is one of the most glaring plot holes (for want of a better term) in all of Red Dwarf. No fan theory or headcanon can possibly explain why they don’t even try to use it to get back to Earth. Out of Time dodged this problem expertly, but Tikka… didn’t.

    There’s the whole ‘interfering with the past’ thing, which ties up the idea of not going back to Earth again, but why not go back to the last place and time they had Red Dwarf? Hell, they could end up stealing it from themselves, which is FAR more amusing a plot that nanobots. It would also avoid the entire VIII scenario.
    Or, as it’s capable of space AND time movement, why not just Earth, one second into the future? It really is a horrible plot hole.

    What the fuck happened to the matter paddle in Meltdown? Did they destroy it? 

    Wasn’t it converted into the triplicator?

    #228862

    International Debris

    Ugh now I REALLY wish they’d gone back and stolen Red Dwarf from themselves at the start of series 7.

    #228863

    Flap Jack

    they explain in Tikka Xtended that they can’t use the time drive to go back to Earth 3 million years ago as they might end up causing another paradox or messing up history, with Lister promising to Rimmer that his timejump to 3 weeks ago to get the ship’s curry back will be the last time they use it.

    Ah ha ha, that’s such a bad excuse! Given they show they can operate the time drive perfectly, the only paradoxes they could feasibly create by going back to THEIR OWN TIME would be:

    1. Bringing back Kryten to before the technology which made him existed, therefore potentially changing the circumstances of Kryten’s creation and eventual meeting with the RD crew – Solution: either part ways with Kryten, or return to live in Kryten’s time period instead.
    2. Deliberately trying to stop the Red Dwarf radiation leak from happening, or trying to rescue Lister from the ship millions of years early – Solution: don’t do that.
    3. Um… something to do with The Cat, maybe? – Solution: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Nothing else they could do in the post-accident 3-million-years-ago past would impact their own history on Red Dwarf, because Red Dwarf basically just drifted into space for all that time, doing its own thing.

    But sure, I guess that’s a good enough reason to casually dismiss the idea of seeing loved ones, your home planet, or any other people again.

    #228864

    Dave

    But that’s the point. It’s part of the Universe’s timeline. And it’s nowhere near the end of it, unless Lister dies on the day the Universe collapses in on itself.

    I don’t remember anyone claiming (here or in the show) that the story of Ouroboros made Lister immortal. The whole idea of Lister and the human race never being extinct by going round and round in time is meant to be more of a philosophical idea than a literal one, I think.

    #228865

    Ben Saunders

    I’ve thought about this a lot. The “can’t change the past” argument falls apart in a universe where free travel through time is possible, and here’s why.

    You can change events right now, yes? Fair enough.
    You cannot go back to 1985 to change events.
    You can, apparently, go forwards to 2085 to change events.
    If you then go forward to 2185, 2085 is now the past and you cannot change events there anymore.
    In a universe where you can freely travel between the distant and not-so-distant future the logic of being (not) able to change events falls apart.
    Your future is somebody else’s past.
    Thank you for listening.

    Doctor Who has been to the end of the universe so surely he cannot go back and change any events at all because he would be interfering with “the past” from the perspective of the end of the universe.

    #228866

    Ben Saunders

    That is of course unless you subscribe to the “each journey through time creates/enters a parallel dimension” theory, which Red Dwarf definitely does not

    #228867

    bloodteller

    >Ah ha ha, that’s such a bad excuse! Given they show they can operate the time drive perfectly, the only paradoxes they could feasibly create by going back to THEIR OWN TIME would be:

    i think it was more along the lines of “we fucked up the entire future of the Earth from 1963 onwards four seconds after we arrived, if we went back to Earth our time we’d probably fuck everything up so badly that civilization would collapse” so i guess the main characters just all see themselves as being really destructive and clumsy morons now.

    it’s not about time paradoxes, it’s about travelling back and accidentally bumming another gunman out of a window

    #228870

    Warbodog

    So now they have two teleporters and a time drive which is also capable of teleporting, depending on which series it’s used in.

    One of those teleporters is also a time machine, shown by the end of Rimmerworld.

    What the fuck happened to the matter paddle in Meltdown?

    Wasn’t it converted into the triplicator?

    The Time Drive in Tikka looks a lot like the Matter Paddle too, with its round handles. Maybe they shoved them together to create the time-space machine.

    The Matter Paddle was probably a time machine in the first place, since Kryten says it transmits you at the speed of light, but then they arrive at a planet 200,000 light years away instantaneously. (Shut up).

    Is there an 18 month gap between Blue and Beyond a Joke or something?

    The chronology (gleaned from dialogue) mostly works. Back to Reality is four years after The End, and it’s been “five, six years” by Back in the Red, so VI & VII span up to two years.

    #228871

    Ben Saunders

    >One of those teleporters is also a time machine, shown by the end of Rimmerworld.
    Christ, haha. Get it together Grant Naylor.

    #228875

    Flap Jack

    i think it was more along the lines of “we fucked up the entire future of the Earth from 1963 onwards four seconds after we arrived, if we went back to Earth our time we’d probably fuck everything up so badly that civilization would collapse” so i guess the main characters just all see themselves as being really destructive and clumsy morons now.

    it’s not about time paradoxes, it’s about travelling back and accidentally bumming another gunman out of a window

    But then that’s not an argument against going back in time, that’s an argument against existing in society at all. Any of us could inadvertently do something like that which ends up shaping history in a bad way, but it’s not particularly likely, and I’m not going to go live in deep space just in case.

    Sure, Lister and co. could – and by definition, would, at least a little bit – “change history” by going back to their time of origin and living their lives, but there are very few changes they could make deliberately (and therefore trigger a paradox), because they only know very few details about how human history develops, and for accidental changes they’d have no idea how it was any different.

    Essentially, if it’s not a paradox, it’s not a time travel problem, it’s just a regular, everyday problem.

    … can we at least agree that they should have used the time drive to check if Earth was still there in the present day?

    #228876

    bloodteller

    maybe they should just do an episode where they go back to Earth for real so that the plotholes of “why don’t they just use X to go back to Earth” no longer pop up.

    they’re still common in the newer episodes e.g. the Chronos Casket, the Stasis booths that they legit use in Krysis etc. that could all be easily used for them to go back home. or that Quantum Rod, which it was never really made clear exactly what it did

    #228879

    Hamish

    > So many episodes managed to use time travel to tell a particular story while making it believable that it was very limited in use – Lemons

    To be fair, is there any particular reason why Kryten could not have just tinkered with the rejuvenation shower to alter what time period it sent you to?

    Come to think of it, why did it send them to 23 A.D. Britain in the first place anyhow? I get that it effectively de-ages the universe because the alignment brackets were misaligned, meaning that it casts its beams outward rather than inward, but why would that physically take the Dwarfers anywhere? Also, I would have thought de-aging the universe would have been a far more destructive process than was depicted.

    #228882

    Pete Part Three

    Quantum Rod = infinite improbability drive

    They could have at least have addressed the batshit odds of Rimmer managing to run into his brother.

    #228884

    Dave

    I thought that was already pretty well explained by the episode, wasn’t it?

    #228885

    Jimboid

    Yeah, doesn’t it draw previously connected things together, in a magical quantum way?

    #228886

    bloodteller

    could they not just have used it to go back to Earth then

    #228887

    Jimboid

    You’d think they’d at least consider it.

    The whole “they’re not really trying to get back to Earth any more and that’s why they don’t try” notion doesn’t ring true.

    Trying to get back to Earth was the founding concept of the show. We still get regular reminders of how miserable Lister is stuck in deep space

    #228888

    Jimboid

    I suppose it’s understandable…the show ends when they get back to Earth, so there’s no narrative hurry to do so.

    But it defies the logic of the show to not at least give an in-universe reason for not jumping at the chance to take a short-cut home.

    (Sorry for the split post, the site is glitchy as fuck on my phone – and that’s swearing).

    #228890

    Pete Part Three

    >Yeah, doesn’t it draw previously connected things together, in a magical quantum way?

    If memory serves, Kryten poses the question “Did the rod do this?”…and it’s never actually answered. Obviously, the intention is that the rod *did* do it, but it’s never explored.

    #228892

    Me Own Stunts

    > But the (admittedly slightly poetic) point being made by the story is that the time loop creates a new chronology that goes round and round forever, with Lister’s bloodline never ending as his family continues to give birth to descendents for an infinite amount of time.

    Am I the only one who hates the idea that Lister is somehow <i>infinitely inbred</i>? This is why I can never like the ‘father’s day’ plot strand in Fathers and Suns. It’s an idea that should have been instantly dropped after series 7, and a new continuity quickly established in its place (they’ve retconned enough other things to get away with this) rather than brought back for series 10.

    Inevitably when a show reaches something like its seventh or eighth series it starts eating at its own past. Series 7 was at that point in Red Dwarf history when it had already done the slightly repetitive, formulaic series (series 6) so aimed at more ambitious ideas to keep itself fresh. It would have been so lovely for Lister to have just had an ordinary mother and father, and just been an ordinary bloke who was pulled into a science fiction world. But no, his own birth had to be science-fictionised and now he’s infinitely inbred. Urgh!

    #228894

    pi r squared

    Any plotline that gave us the exceptional Luster double-header scene as both father and son is a winner in my eyes.

    #228895

    pi r squared

    Just one sentence and I still fucked it up.

    #228896

    Me Own Stunts

    > they explain in Tikka Xtended that they can’t use the time drive to go back to Earth 3 million years ago as they might end up causing another paradox or messing up history, with Lister promising to Rimmer that his timejump to 3 weeks ago to get the ship’s curry back will be the last time they use it.

    This doesn’t solve it though. Their single problem with the events of ‘Tikka to Ride’ was the damage they inflicted on the history that should result in Red Dwarf being in space.

    They’d cause no problems whatsoever going back to a century that was after the accident happened on the Red Dwarf ship, but before the human race became extinct.

    The question is how they justify pissing around in deep space 3 million years into the future, when they actually don’t need to and are constantly complaining about how sick they are of each other’s company. All that time in the empty vacuum of space looking for planets and moons for supplies, hoping they might run into other individuals who aren’t hostile… well just use the time drive, mate.

    #228897

    Me Own Stunts

    >I get that it effectively de-ages the universe because the alignment brackets were misaligned, meaning that it casts its beams outward rather than inward

    I’d quite like to know how the misaligned beams somehow had enough range to cover every atom in the entire universe.

    #228898

    Jimboid

    Imagine if in Porridge they gave Fletcher a key to the prison and he used it once to pop out and buy some biscuits, then stuck it in a drawer and forgot about it.

    #228900

    Me Own Stunts

    And imagine if in Porridge it turned out that Fletcher was his own Dad, but nobody seemed to mind because they had one good scene together in an episode with all racist vending machines.

    #228903

    Flap Jack

    To be fair, is there any particular reason why Kryten could not have just tinkered with the rejuvenation shower to alter what time period it sent you to?

    Yeah, this is why I said it was “believable” that they wouldn’t be able to use the other time travel methods to get back to Earth, rather than, say, “made clear”.

    Take the rejuvenation shower. Its intended function isn’t time travel, and even with effort they’re only able to go back and forth between 23 AD Earth and present day Red Dwarf. They may not actually explain that they can’t reverse engineer the shower to take them back to Earth in the correct time period, but it’s not too difficult to assume that.

    With the time drive, they actually straight up show us that they can use it to get to anywhere in the universe at any point in time, and then they also show us that they can direct it perfectly. That’s why the time drive (in Series 7 at least) is the laziest time travel plot device.

    Also, can I just apologise for helping completely derail this decade old thread about misheard dialogue? I’m so sorry.

    #228907

    Ben Saunders

    >If memory serves, Kryten poses the question “Did the rod do this?”…and it’s never actually answered. Obviously, the intention is that the rod *did* do it, but it’s never explored.
    All of Kryten’s “best guess”-es are basically this, he just happens to be right

    #228908

    Ben Saunders

    Also they stick together because Stockholm Syndrome/the’ve grown to like each other (aw bless)/this is the only life they’ve known for 30 years/it would be difficult for them to re-integrate into society/Rimmer would probably have to be turned off/What would they do with Kryten in the past

    #228915

    bloodteller

    >this is the only life they’ve known for 30 years

    i think they covered that at the end of the Backwards novel, didn’t they? where lister finally gets back to Red Dwarf, is genuinely happy to see the others again and realises that maybe this is where he truly belongs- it’s his home.

    probably helped a bit that they had already found Earth by then and it was all covered in garbage and stuff though

    #228934

    quinn_drummer

    At the end of The Beginning, Rimmer echos “the slims coming home” line from The End (god damn you Doug Naylor!!)

    Anyway … you could read that as the crew now treating Red Dwarf as their true home, and not just a place to stay on their return to Earth.

    At this point all the characters have spent more time in deep space than on Earth. In fact, Lister may well be the only character to have ever actually lived on Earth. Rimmer is from Io, Kryten was likely built off world then switched on on the Nova 5. Cat grew up on Red Dwarf.

    I can buy them not really bathing to try and get back, but just live day to day in floating through space and convienently ignoring ways in which they could get to Earth if they wanted.

    #228938

    bloodteller

    i guess you can say that ultimately the ship has become their home, and maybe the trip back to Earth was more about the journey than the destination, but I still think it leaves a huge loose end open if they never get back.

    then again i suppose the show definitely absolutely ends forever once they do get back, so i guess it’s only fair that they aren’t in any real hurry

    #228945

    Flap Jack

    I don’t mind believing that Lister and Rimmer have grown to accept their situation, see Red Dwarf as their home now etc., but if they get handed an easy and instantaneous way to get back to Earth/Io, to see friends and family, to see human civilisation again, then you’d think they’d at least discuss the idea at great length, not just never mention it or casually dismiss it in a few lines of dialogue cut from the broadcast version of the episode.

    “Look out Earth – the slime’s coming home!” is something of a mission statement for the whole series. If they’re going to completely change their minds about trying to achieve that, it should be properly acknowledged. If they’re not going to change their minds, then Doug shouldn’t hand them that show-concluding equipment unless he actually intends to conclude the show.

    #228947

    Ben Saunders

    Slim’s Coming Home? Is Eminem going to guest star in Red Dwarf XIII?

    #228948

    Ben Saunders

    >to see friends and family
    Rimmer doesn’t care about his family and Lister doesn’t have any, though? And Lister’s friends died on Red Dwarf, then were resurrected so he could see them again, then dies again.

    #228954

    Flap Jack

    You think a gregarious person such as Lister would have no friends whatsoever apart from his work colleagues?

    And Rimmer may hate his family, but Better Than Life showed that his feelings towards them were not black and white.

    Essentially, the idea that Rimmer and Lister have come to terms with their situation and are happy on Red Dwarf is fine, but the idea that they would actively choose it over getting to speak to/touch other human beings than each other, over seeing the ocean again, over touching grass or smelling flowers, over seeing the sun rise – without even thinking about it – is 100% absurd.

    #228955

    Hamish

    > I can buy them not really bathing to try and get back

    I’m sorry, I make errors like this all the time, but this made me laugh too much not to draw attention to it. I apologize again.

    #228961

    Dave

    You think a gregarious person such as Lister would have no friends whatsoever apart from his work colleagues?

    Didn’t Chen, Selby and Petersen work in catering? They weren’t Lister’s work friends.

    I know they were ‘colleagues’ in the sense that they all worked for the same company, but then so did everyone on Red Dwarf (apart from the secret prisoners, I guess).

    But yes, I’m sure he had other friends back on Earth too.

    #228969

    International Debris

    I’m sure they’d go back to Earth on curiosity grounds alone.

    “Hey, shall we see what’s happened to Earth?”
    “Nah, let’s stay here with only each other for company until we die”

    #230053

    bloodteller

    i always heard the line about the cooking contest in The Beginning as “Not if it a shoe pastry, you won’t!” turns out it’s actually “choux” which is a much funnier line. i just find it humorous that an insane rogue droid somehow knows how to make obscure pastries.

    maybe he met ainsley harriott at some point

    #230054

    Pete Part Three

    Not a mishead line, but certainly a misdelivered line that always sticks out for me. Just watched Polymorrph and Chris says (about Rimmer’s mum):

    “Very prim, very proper. Some say austere”

    Later, when Kryten (played by Robert Llewellyn) “quotes” Rimmer’s words, it’s become:

    “Very prim, very proper. Almost austere”

    I’m guessing it’s Chris who fluffed, as his line after it is “Some people took her for cold” and the repeat of “Some” never sounds right.

    #230056

    Warbodog

    Misremembered scene (if this thread can be about anything now):

    I saw Out of Time a couple of times before VII aired (TV repeats), but never remembered or even noticed that Future Starbug shot Present Starbug to make it explode (which happens), I thought it was all down to Rimmer. I’m not claiming a Mandela Effect, I probably just blinked.

    I assumed Rimmer’s plan was to intentionally blow up the ship by shooting some vital system or other (I didn’t realise it was the Time Drive), so that the future selves wouldn’t have a chance to exist and they’d all be back to normal.

    When I saw Tikka and bought the Xtended video, I was sure they’d inserted the firing clip because they wanted to retcon it as a blunder of the future selves, completely robbing Rimmer of his heroic, temporary sacrifice. A sacrifice he admittedly needn’t have bothered making, since they were already being shot at anyway, but come on, I was 11.

    It’ll always be one of my favourites, but the ending of Out of Time is quite unsatisfying as it stands, and confusing since I get mixed up with what’s real, what I thought was real and what was supposed to happen but didn’t, even though I wish it had. The original/deleted ending is much better than the one they or my past self came up with. As long as you cut out “smeg, I’m a hero” which is just awful.

    Sorry, I don’t know what this post is.

    #230057

    Dave

    I’ve always been convinced that the original airing never showed the one Starbug firing on the other, as I don’t remember it either. I remember thinking it had been left very ambiguous as to which one it had shown being destroyed.

    #230058

    Warbodog

    >Sorry, I don’t know what this post is.

    Oh, I remember now: are we supposed to have assumed Rimmer had the “smeg, I’m a hero” gentle fade-out happy ending in mind when he raced to shoot the Time Drive? But was scuppered from doing so by a shocking ending… that will obviously have the same effect anyway? I still don’t like that Rimmer didn’t actually do anything. To Be Continued was still exciting even if there was no jeopardy.

    #230061

    Pete Part Three

    >are we supposed to have assumed Rimmer had the “smeg, I’m a hero” gentle fade-out happy ending in mind when he raced to shoot the Time Drive?

    Yes, I think so. That’s consistent with every ending. His intention is always that “there’s a way out of this”. The only difference is the detail on whether he’s ultimately responsible for saving the day:

    -BROADCAST VERSION-

    Laser from bottom right of screen destroys Starbug.
    Likely Intention: The Timedrive is destroyed by Rimmer, would have been destroyed anyway a second later.
    Consequence: Rimmer = heroic intentions, but doesn’t *technically* save the day.

    -URINE RECYC VERSION-

    A Starbug blows up in an identical explosion, but there’s no red laser and *another* Stabug is also present in the same shot.
    Possibly intended that the Starbug that explodes is the future Starbug, er, disappearing from existence.
    Consequence: Rimmer saves the day. Everyone drinks piss.

    -“SMEG, I’M A HERO VERSION”-
    Rimmer destroys the timedrive. Nothing blows up? The future Starbug fades from existence? He has time to say “Smeg, I’m a hero”
    Consequence: Rimmer saves the day.

    -TIKKA TO RIDE VERSION-
    Additional shot of the other Starbug inserted to reinforce the point that the future selves killed them, and the stuff about Rimmer being the hero wasn’t actually required and confuses things slightly, as he didn’t technically succeed.
    Consequence: Rimmer = heroic intentions, but doesn’t *technically* save the day.

    #230062

    Warbodog

    Oh yeah, I forgot you only see the laser firing in OOT (as I’ve forgotten every time I’ve ever watched it ever, including recently… no, it’s gone again).

    Pre-Tikka, Rimmer blowing up the ship seemed more likely and memorable to me; post-Tikka the added Starbug clip never sat right, but I didn’t have OOT on video for years to compare, just Tikka and the Smeg Ups botch.

    #230063

    International Debris

    There’s some alternate universe out there where the original ending was used. I’m 100% confident it’s a better universe.

    #230065

    bloodteller

    i always assumed Rimmer blowing up the timedrive was what caused the timelines to reset and such, and that it was nothing to do with the future selves blowing up the ship. if he had arrived a second later, the ship would’ve blown up before he could do anything and everyone would have died for real etc.

    side thought: rimmer is unusually serious and responsible in tikka to ride. don’t know if that was intentional or not, but it feels like the events of out of time made him change as a person- he’s genuinely angry with lister for tricking them into using the timedrive again after all that’s happened etc.

    #230066

    Warbodog

    My Out of Time false memory was probably reinforced because I remember I wrote about it in the diary I’d recently started keeping, inspired by Barry Chuckle starting a diary on Chucklevision. I like how I can remember THAT but can’t remember the famous ending of an episode I’ve watched about 20 times.

    It seems like a lot of people don’t notice the missile in Out of Time or are mixing it up in their memory. From a couple of quick googles:

    http://www.reddwarfforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3193

    He blasts…..there’s a massive explosion…and it ends with “To Be Continued”

    http://www.reviewsbygavrielle.com/dwarf6.shtml

    The crew decide to fight their former selves – all are killed except Rimmer, who blows up Starbug with a bazookoid. To be continued….

    I nearly cheered when Rimmer put the episode out of its misery.

    http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/red-dwarf/feature/a837305/red-dwarf-plot-holes-continuity-errors-unanswered-questions/

    the ‘Stasis Leak’ Lister may have been the ‘evil’ Lister who became a brain in a jar in ‘Out of Time’, before the boys killed them off by destroying the time drive

    [Out of Patience]

    #230069

    Pete Part Three

    >if he had arrived a second later, the ship would’ve blown up before he could do anything and everyone would have died for real etc.

    But the timedrive is on the ship and the ship blows up…? I don’t get the distinction between Rimmer shooting it with a bazookoid or it exploding with the rest of a Starbug a second later via a missile.

    #230071

    bloodteller

    yeah but it’s cooler if you see it as rimmer blowing up the timedrive seconds before it’s too late, rather than rimmer blowing up the timedrive but none of it mattering really

    #230081

    Warbodog

    If Rimmer hadn’t bothered to do anything and the ship hadn’t fired, Future Rimmer could have come aboard the crippled Starbug and had his way with the Time Drive, since he was presumably the only one still around. So Rimmer had the right idea and his future self was an idiot.

    Alternatively, Starbug would fly out the other side of the unreality bubble and find out the encounter with their future selves was disappointingly just a dream. I forgot there was an alternative to all the alternatives.

    #230082

    Ben Paddon

    My thinking was that Rimmer had succeeded, which was so unbelievable to the others that they refused to accept that he’d been able to display anything even vaguely resembling competency and assumed their future selves had succeeded in destroying the ship.

    But I’m basing that on precisely zero actual evidence.

    #230084

    Pete Part Three

    >Future Rimmer could have come aboard the crippled Starbug and had his way with the Time Drive, since he was presumably the only one still around.

    I’d love to know the thinking process behind the editing of those final moments.

    The jolt the crew experience when the gyroscope is hit being identical to the effect used when they enter an unreality pocket is either a silly accident, or entirely intentional.

    The fact that there’s two versions of the same SFX shot means that there was a conscious decision to depict things a certain way. The removal of the other Starbug and the overlay of the laser seems odd, when you consider that (our) Rimmer says “the hull’s going to go”, so the (possible) original intention was that Starbug just blew up from the original barrage of missles. Old Rimmer would probably not have known the hull was gone, but knew the others were dead, so yeah, it would make sense for him to try and board and steal the timedrive rather than continue to fire.

    And the “To be continued” seems kind of strange too. The assurances there was more Red Dwarf means that these guys weren’t going to stay dead. It’s not quite a cliffhanger ending.

    Alas, I’m guessing everyone involved has now forgotten the fine details.

    #230327

    Warbodog

    In VIII days, I didn’t make the fingers-in-pies connection when Lister says Bob the Skutter has “a claw in every pie.”

    I thought it was a way of saying you get good value with Bob, as if a free metaphorical Skutter claw is included with every pie. That well-known meaning of the phrase.

    #230494

    cwickham

    When Rimmer says “clitoris” in Polymorph, I always thought he said “spit on her wrist”.

    #230496

    Paul Muller

    Eleven year old Paul was convinced the Cat had spotted a Cheese String in Kochanski’s spinning laundry. He would go on to explain that it was ‘black and really, really small’ due to the high temperature inside the washing machine.

    He would also have told you that AstroCuts was located in the ‘Feeder Sector’, and that Red Dwarf’s Second Officer was a guy called Todd Hunter.

    Basically, what I’m saying is – he was an idiot.

    #230498

    Ben Saunders

    Well Toddhunter/Todd Hunter is perfectly understandable

    #230499

    bloodteller

    “My name is Katerina Bartikofsky, in past I was Red Dwarf science officer. Stradfordshire.”

    in fact, i still don’t know what she’s saying there tbh

    #230502

    Ben Saunders

    I always thought Kryten was referring to Kochanski as his mother for whatever reason, as in “Ms. Kochanski, mom”.

    #230522

    pi r squared

    in fact, i still don’t know what she’s saying there tbh

    Zdravstvuyte – a polite hello in Russian.

    On a related note, there doesn’t seem to have been any news on how Sophie Winkleman is getting on after her car accident a few months back. I wonder how she is doing.

    #230523

    Ben Saunders

    Hadn’t heard about that. Also didn’t know she was Claudia’s (half?) sister, as all the articles readily point out. I guess Claudia is more famous? I only know her from Would I Lie To You.
    All I could find was “The actress remains in hospital and faces weeks of recuperation following the crash 11 days ago”, in an article from December.

    #230540

    Lily

    >Well Toddhunter/Todd Hunter is perfectly understandable

    I’m glad you say that, as I always thought it was Todd Hunter …

    #230541

    Dave

    It’s Todd Todhunter.

    #230543

    Hamish

    Todd a mighty Hunter before the Lord.

    #230544

    bloodteller

    when i was younger there was a boy at my school called todd hunter, so naturally i thought todhunter was also called todd hunter.

    #230545

    flanl3

    I once knew this guy called Jaron and he was a prick so I assume the inquisitor is called Jaron

    #230552

    International Debris

    Weirdly, I never once thought he was called Todd Hunter. Despite having never come across anybody with the surname before, it just sounded right to me. Maybe also because everybody else was called by their surname so it made sense in that context.

    #230558

    pi r squared

    Me too, I think it’s that the stressed syllable is wrong for it to be two different names. Todd Hunter would be TODD-HUNT-er, whereas Tod(d)hunter is more like TODD-hunt-ER. Difficult to explain phonetically (and without going down the route of “what do you want me to call you, rim-MER!?”) but a subtle enough distinction that I think my brain just processed it as one word without me realising. And, you’re right, everyone else is just one name – no-one thinks there’s a guy called Peter Son.

    #230559

    Warbodog

    I read Todhunter’s correctly-spelled name in the programme guide (and novel?) before I had the chance to see any of his many episode, so I didn’t have that confusion.

    I wonder if kids today with their ubiquitous media ever have to rely on reference materials and their imagination to fill in the blanks? Maybe Doctor Who fans who’ve read up on lore like the Valeyard but can’t be bothered to actually watch the old serials.

    #230562

    Plastic Percy

    I think for me it stemmed from Kochanski in ‘Duct Soup’ where she seems to pronounce it as Todd Hunter. In ‘The End’ it’s closer to Tod-unter.

    #230586

    Katydid

    You could argue that’s down to dialect.

    #230602

    Toxteth O-Grady

    I always misheard Spare Head 3’s line as “me circuit boards may have gone bandit..”. I only recently, after 20 odd years, realised he says “bandy”.

    What’s more, as a result of that mishearing, I’ve spent the same 20 odd years believing the word “bandit” to have an extra definition: adj. meaning crazy, out of control, or malfunctioning.
    I’ve even used the word bandit, with this made-up definition, in conversations over the years; oblivious to the fact that I was talking bollocks.

    #230603

    Ben Saunders

    Beautiful.

    As a kid I had no idea what shoals were, so I had many interpretations of that line over the years, including “goldfish shites”

    #230604

    bloodteller

    i think i mentioned this on another thread, but when i first watched VIII i thought Kill Crazy was called “Kilk Razey” and it was meant to be a sort of cool punk-type future person name like Zaphod from Hitchhiker’s.

    i also remember watching either Dimension Jump or Tikka To Ride for the first time and hearing Ace’s catchphrase as “don’t be a gimpo, i’ll be back for breakfast” due to the line being muffled as he puts his helmet on

    #230605

    Warbodog

    When I first saw Confidence and Paranoia, I thought Lister was writhing about in his sleep getting really into a sex dream about an old girlfriend called Cannon Umbrella / Kananam Brella / other likely names.

    #230606

    International Debris

    As a kid I had no idea what shoals were, so I had many interpretations of that line over the years, including “goldfish shites”

    I heard it as “goldfish goes nibbling at my toes” which is, admittedly, less funny than “goldfish shites”.

    #230609

    si

    Goldfish shites
    Nibbling at my tights.

    #230612

    Dave
    #230613

    Dave

    Hmmm, that link was meant to lead back to the posts on 28 February in this thread, but it doesn’t seem to have worked. Oh well.

    #230614

    Warbodog

    I thought ‘Officer Bud-babe’ was ‘Officer Butt-babe’ as a teen, continuing Cat’s established ass obsession. Looks like that one’s pretty common.

    #230620

    International Debris

    It took me a long time to work out that Officer BB was an abbreviation of Officer Bud-Babe, which was Cat’s way of calling her both ‘buddy’ and a ‘babe’.

    #230621

    PFMC84

    When I was a youngster watching the show, I at times thought it was “goldfish holes” and then that evolved into “goldfisho’s” which I imagined was the evolution of the word goldfish or the species itself since the show was set 3M+ years into in the future. I was fine with it because we had space weevil and GELFs and thought it was just another futuristic term.

    #230637

    si

    Been back and had a look at those comments from February 28.
    Congratulations to Dave on his ability to be able to remember things he posted almost two months ago should anyone unknowingly repeat it.

    #230638

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    It took me a long time to work out that Officer BB was an abbreviation of Officer Bud-Babe, which was Cat’s way of calling her both ‘buddy’ and a ‘babe’.

    It doesn’t help that “Officer BB” is the first iteration we hear in Ouroboros, after the initial “Officer Bud-Babe” was cut from the broadcast episode – it’s only there in Xtended.

    #230660

    bloodteller

    in Mechocracy, when Lister is reciting his list of bread products to the toaster he says one that sounds like “Sogen” but there’s no such thing. what is he saying there?

    #230661

    Dave

    Been back and had a look at those comments from February 28.
    Congratulations to Dave on his ability to be able to remember things he posted almost two months ago should anyone unknowingly repeat it.

    I wasn’t picking on your comment, the whole conversation was just such an exact repeat of that part of the thread from just a few weeks ago that I thought I would make the obvious White Hole joke.

    Sorry that it obviously came across as more pointed than I intended.

    #230664

    Taiwan Tony

    >I’d love to know the thinking process behind the editing of those final moments… The “To be continued” seems kind of strange too. The assurances there was more Red Dwarf means that these guys weren’t going to stay dead. It’s not quite a cliffhanger ending. Alas, I’m guessing everyone involved has now forgotten the fine details.

    I thought there was a scene cut from the end (with the urine moustaches) that explained all this. Have I misremembered?

    #230665

    Ben Saunders

    The “to be continued” was added in editing, if I recall, with the original ending being the urine moustaches idea.

    #230666

    bloodteller

    if you really want to get nitpicky about it, the original ending was to be them all just happily enjoying the wine and going “good year, nice wine” etc.

    supposedly craig charles came up with the idea for the urine re-cyc mustaches during the script readthrough or something, and so they decided to have that as the ending instead.

    #230670

    International Debris

    Urine recyc is obviously a much better ending than ‘To be continued’.

    #230679

    Ben Saunders

    I absolutely cannot agree with that

    #230682

    Dave

    Ace Rimmer should have turned up and saved them at the last minute. By kneeing Death in the bollocks.

    #230699

    Pete Part Three

    I’d be fine with Starbug just blowing up, and the credits rolling. The “To be continued” instantly reassures you that they’re not dead. It’s the equivalent of Sherlock popping up at the end of “The Reichenbach Fall”.

    And to be frank, Tikka doesn’t “continue” Out of Time, it just spends 2 minutes explaining what has to happen for there to be more Red Dwarf, and then tells a different story. If you’re killing off all your characters but also promising that they’ll be more episodes, you’re immediately telling your audience that when you come back, you’re going to retcon the shit out of everything that’s just happened.

    #230700

    Ben Saunders

    The “to be continued” is just to assure people that the show isn’t over for good, same reason for “the smeg it is”, although the second time ’round it took a lot longer to bring it back.

    #230703

    si

    Been back and had a look at those comments from February 28.
    Congratulations to Dave on his ability to be able to remember things he posted almost two months ago should anyone unknowingly repeat it.

    I wasn’t picking on your comment, the whole conversation was just such an exact repeat of that part of the thread from just a few weeks ago that I thought I would make the obvious White Hole joke.

    Sorry that it obviously came across as more pointed than I intended.

    No, no, you’re alright, I was just being funny in a sarcastic manner, not being mardy.

    #230708

    Dave

    Ah ok, good.

    So it’s decided then, we consult Holly.

    #230709

    International Debris

    I absolutely cannot agree with that

    Oh good, we’ve agreed on some things recently and I was getting worried! :D

    I don’t like the ‘To be continued’ ending. I think the actual phrase is fine – if it was planned to be the last episode ever we’d have known it, so we always knew they’d get out alive anyway. It’s the same as the cliffhangers in new Doctor Who, nobody ever thinks “oh shit The Doctor’s not going to get out of this one and it’ll be the end of life on Earth”, so ‘to be continued’ works fine. See also: every use of ‘to be continued’ in every TV series and film ever.

    I just don’t really like it as a cliffhanger, and I particularly don’t like the resolution and continuation of the time drive and the way it was all handled after that. Generally, a cliffhanger works well when placed mid-way through a story, and the Out of Time one just feels like “we didn’t know how to end it”. It would be like Queeg ending with Holly being shut down. The fact that we could have been rid of the time drive but we ended up with series VII’s “we could return to Red Dwarf at any point but we don’t use the time drive because of a totally irrelevant explanation from Tikka to Ride” nonsense instead just makes it worse.

    The only Red Dwarf cliffhanger I like is the one at the end of Parallel Universe, and that’s because it’s done with a joke that makes it seem intentionally and entertaining.

    #230712

    Dave

    Thinking about it, the first three episodes of Series I all feel like they end on a bit of a cliffhanger, don’t they? And Confidence & Paranoia.

    I know they’re not really treated as such, but they all leave a story idea hanging in a way that makes you keen to see what happens next.

    #230713

    Pete Part Three

    >It’s the same as the cliffhangers in new Doctor Who, nobody ever thinks “oh shit The Doctor’s not going to get out of this one and it’ll be the end of life on Earth”
    >See also: every use of ‘to be continued’ in every TV series and film ever.

    I can’t think of an episode (not even a season finale) in Doctor Who which ends with the Doctor dead and the TARDIS destroyed. Can you give an example in a TV show where there’s a “To be continued” caption after every main character has been killed?

    It just seems a bit surplus to requirements, really. I think I’d have preferred the “They can’t end it like this!!” outrage to the reassuring “They’ll be back in Series VII”. If you’re ahead of the story, you’re going to have a (likely correct) theory on how they get out of it and know the show isn’t over. The caption just kind of spoon-feeds you. And when Tikka finishes the job, it’s a “well, duh” moment.

    You know, the unreality bubbles thing might have been more satisfying,

    #230714

    International Debris

    Well, The Pandorica Opens ends with The Doctor locked in the Pandorica, everybody else dead, and the destruction of the entire universe outside of Earth. Followed by ‘to be continued’.

    I get where you’re coming from, but I think unless an episode is very specifically marketed as ‘the last ever episode’ then the audience are going to assume that there’ll be a resolution, so it doesn’t really bother me whether they use the caption or not.

    #230718

    Ben Saunders

    Doctor dead, Under the Lake. Caves of Androzani as well. Tardis destroyed, The Mind Robber, The Magician’s Apprentice. Both? Probably not.

    Doctor Who cliffhangers have always been contrived, a necessity of the format, but some of them are really good, like Turlough going off the edge in Enlightenment or The Master turning up with a bunch of Daleks in Frontier In Space. Which the next episode doesn’t even attempt to pretend happened, in one of the biggest disappointments the show has ever thrown at us.

    #230721

    Ben Paddon

    Cliffhangers aren’t “well, they’re not going to get out of that!“, they’re “Ooh ‘Eck, how’re they going to get out of that?!” – knowing that the Master replacing the entire human race with duplicates will be undone before he regenerates in “The End of Time – Part 2” didn’t stop me from experiencing anxiety over how it’d be undone when the credits were rolling at the end of part 1.

    Anyone who dismisses cliffhangers as pointless because of a lack of genuine peril isn’t watching TV properly and should hand in their sets immediately.

    #230722

    Ben Saunders

    Some Who cliffhangers are absolute, clunkers, though, and only exist to create artificial drama in stories that don’t benefit from them (the Doctor gets imprisoned only to immediately escape, three times). They do provide an opportunity to go for a walk or get a drink or something, check Twitter, every twenty five minutes, so that’s nice. Also plenty of lame resolutions (Genesis of the Daleks) and occasionally events shown out of sequence to create a truly artificial cheat of a cliffhanger (Image of the Fendahl).

    #230725

    International Debris

    Yes, a lot of Who cliffhangers aren’t cliffhangers at all – Death to the Daleks’s “oh no, it’s a coloured tile!”, Trial of a Timelord’s “The Doctor pulls yet another expression”, Mark of the Rani’s “oh no the Doctor’s fallen down, actually he hasn’t and you only thought you saw him actually fall down the hole last week but you didn’t, honest”, Dragonfire’s “I’m just going to hang off this cliff for a while, that’s how you do a cliffhanger isn’t it?”, The Curse of Fenric’s “lots of batshit crazy stuff happens and then – The Doctor pulls a face!” etc. It was a necessity of the serial format, and thus occasionally tedious, although frequently brilliant.

    The best example of a serialised show’s use of a cliffhangers I can think of is Lost. Some episodes ended on a cliffhanger, others didn’t. They were utilised only when necessary.

    #230726

    Dave

    All the shit Doctor Who cliffhangers in the world are worth it for the end of the first part of Remembrance Of The Daleks.

    #230727

    Ben Saunders

    Death to the Daleks is fucking hilarious. Needless to say, that wasnt the originally written cliffhanger, it was a result of editing. Laugh at Trial all you want but the genocode cliffhanger is pretty hot stuff. JNT insisted for a while that all cliffhangers end on a shot of The Doctor, resulting in some absolutely ludicrous stills. The Fenric cliffhanger in question is brilliant, though. The Zygon reveal in their eponymous debut is great as well.

    Chuck has some brilliant cliffhangers, ones that make you really unwilling to go to bed with that kind of lore shattering zinger enticing you to watch more. They also don’t use them every single episode.

    #230728

    Dave

    24 was always pretty great at whipping out a compelling cliffhanger (or several) even when the episode itself hadn’t been much cop. Watching it on DVD it was pretty much impossible to avoid sitting down and watching a whole disc’s worth.

    #230729

    Ben Saunders

    I think that was me with Enlightenment. “Meh, this is pretty bor-holy SHIT I can’t stop watching now”

    #230730

    International Debris

    The Fenric cliffhanger in question is brilliant, though.

    Oh yes, it’s great, there’s this wonderful sense of “What the fuck is going on? Wait, what was that? NOW what’s going on?” in the last 30 seconds, but as the wonderful cliffhanger-themed documentary on one of the DVDs points out, it was decided to end on McCoy pulling a slightly confused face. Colossal and strangely underwhelming at the same time, in a way that only classic Who can do.

    24 was always pretty great at whipping out a compelling cliffhanger (or several) even when the episode itself hadn’t been much cop.

    It had a lot of these, didn’t it? I’m sure it was FlashForward that did the same sort of thing, with the plot only really moving forward in the last two minutes of each episode.

    #230737

    Plastic Percy

    Wasn’t it one of JNT’s perculiar diktats that a cliffhanger should be a semi-closeup of the Doctor looking serious/worried/in pain?

    #230738

    Hamish

    > the Doctor gets imprisoned only to immediately escape

    Wait, does this mean that Timewave was originally going to be a two-parter?

    #230739

    Ben Saunders

    Yeah Percy they talk about it on the DVD for terror of the Vervoids, where one cliffhanger absolutely does not need or desevre a shot of the docotr but had to have one

    #230752

    International Debris

    JNT made some really, really bad decisions, didn’t he?

    #230758

    Ben Saunders

    JNT loved the show, made some great decisions and fought harder than anyone to keep the show on the air, for which i commend him, but yes, he made some horrible decisions as well. He was a complex character.

    #230759

    Taiwan Tony

    They don’t end with a to be continued but I liked it when they killed off all the characters in Black Adder II. (Goes Forth was affecting, too, but somehow less chilling.)
    And I was genuinely upset to see Richie and Eddie get shot at the end of Bottom 3.

    #230763

    Warbodog

    >I was genuinely upset to see Richie and Eddie get shot at the end of Bottom 3.

    I just thought it was funny, but I was sad there wouldn’t be any more, since it definitely felt final in a way that falling to their deaths five weeks earlier didn’t. Probably because they made a point of unambiguously and vividly showing the slaughter, I got the message.

    #230768

    Taiwan Tony

    Apparently there was an announcer over the credits that they’d return. In my torment, I missed this. Probably didn’t hear over the sound of my own wailing.
    I certainly didn’t find it funny. Still don’t. Poignant, perhaps.

    #230771

    International Debris

    They wrote a fourth series, didn’t they?

    #230773

    Ben Saunders

    Google turns up an apparently rejected fourth series of scripts and a lovely quote of Rik calling the person responsible for the rejection a “lesbian bitch”. http://lostmediaarchive.wikia.com/wiki/Bottom_Series_Four_(BBC-Rejected_Scripts;_Mid-to-Late_1990s)

    Also a G+T forum discussion, funnily enough. https://www.ganymede.tv/forums/topic/so-a-4th-series-of-bottom-is-on-the-way/

    #230774

    Taiwan Tony

    According to Ade the fourth series was chopped up and stuck into live shows, so we didn’t miss anything.

    #230776

    Plastic Percy

    <<JNT loved the show, made some great decisions and fought harder than anyone to keep the show on the air, for which i commend him, but yes, he made some horrible decisions as well. He was a complex character.>>

    I’ve always attributed a lot of his poor story decisions to the fact that he was the only Producer to have worked his way up from the floor, unlike other producers who’d mostly been writers, script editors and directors. They were more likely be able to spot plotholes or know what wouldn’t work on screen for dramatic reasons rather than someone more used to booking studio time and hiring lighting rigs.

    #230777

    Ben Saunders

    Yeah he wasn’t great on scripts, and according to Saward the quality of scripts they were getting at the time was fairly… shall I say low, meaning Saward had to basically re-write a lot of his era. JNT had mad ideas like “do an episode called Greatest Show in the Galaxy, what do you mean what’s the plot? Write it”, and “oh do an episode in Amsterdam.” And he refused to work with writers who had written for the show before, Saward having to convince him to let Robert Holmes write (one of) his best scripts for them.

    But that story about him refusing to let another Shada Moment happen and getting Greatest Show made by any means necessary shows to me that he at least did some good things. And the endgame Cartmel stuff happened with (in spite of?) him, which was good.

    #230781

    Plastic Percy

    On the one hand, it was a good piece of blue sky thinking to open up the policy for new writers, but at the same time a bad move to blackball old hands – Robert Holmes, Terrence Dicks, the Bristol Boys etc. could all be relied upon to bring in a good idea and knew what worked and could deliver a script which was servicable from the get go.

    My problem with Eric Saward is that he never seemed interested in writing for the Doctor. He was more interested in his own vision of gritty scifi, hence why his scripts are filled with tough space marines and ruthless gun runners instead.

    #230782

    International Debris

    Yes, there’s a lot of very generic sci-fi going on in the Davison and Colin eras. Some strong stories, but very little that really sticks in the mind in the way so many ’60s and ’70s stories do. It took until the McCoy era for the show to start really trying to be different and surprising again, even if it started that task by pretending to be an under-budgeted CBBC comedy about aliens.

    #230961

    bloodteller

    not exactly a misheard line, but i only just realised this morning the Marooned line about “your ball landing in Lister’s buttock crevice” is implying the ball actually lands up his arsecrack- i always thought it meant the ball landed in the imprint in the sand that his bum made during all the sex

    #230962

    Warbodog

    It is about the sand imprint, Rimmer says “competition the next day.” Both cheeks, man.

    #230963

    bloodteller

    maybe lister is still there the next day, face down in the sand

    #230965

    Dave

    Logically of course the imprint on the sand would be deepest around each buttock, and would actually form a small peak at the point of contact with Lister’s buttock crevice.

    Of course, you could argue that Rimmer is actually referring to the indentation made by the buttocks, but those would be more craters than crevices.

    Perhaps it’s best not to overthink these things.

    #230969

    clem

    I’ve always thought “Lister’s buttock crevice” meant his actual bum crack, but now I think Warbodog’s right about bloodteller having been right in the first place. Just looked it up and a niblick is a golf club used especially for playing out of bunkers, so I think Rimmer’s saying that Lister would make the bunker deeper/a big “crevice” in the sand with his big arse. Crater would be a better word though, I agree. Also, that would mean Rimmer assumes the girl went on top, which I suppose makes sense if he imagines she’s older and more experienced than the 12 year old first-timer Lister, and therefore took the lead?

    #230970

    Ben Saunders

    I always thought it meant his arse crack, and never knew what a niblick was, but now my outlook on life has changed immeasurably

    I think it does indeed mean the imprint in the sand, now that i think. About it

    #230976

    Dave

    I do like the interpretation of it actually being his physical arse crack though, as silly and unlikely as that seems.

    As though the golfer would be irritated, but would still have to go through with playing the shot to the best of their ability, despite being perched atop Lister’s (presumably) still-shagging body.

    #230979

    Ben Saunders

    The more time goes on, the less shocking it becomes that somebody would lose their virginity at twelve, meaning modern audiences might view Rimmer’s exclamation as more of him being some kind of square who didn’t lose his until the ripe old age of fourteen. People below me as i was leaving school certainly wouldn’t bat an eyelid at such a story. Doesn’t make the punchline any less funny, though.

    #230981

    bloodteller

    >I do like the interpretation of it actually being his physical arse crack though, as silly and unlikely as that seems.

    yeah, i think it’s funnier that way.

    #230999

    PFMC84

    I believe he said “soda bread” which is a famous Irish bread.

    #231000

    PFMC84

    Jesus, why is the editing of posts borked on this site?

    I was responding to bloodteller’s post (#230660)

    #231001

    Ben Saunders

    Edit/quoting has never worked on the forum posts, only the articles, correct me if I’m wrong. Can still quote if you know HTML or whatever but I always fuck that up so don’t bother anymore.

    #231004

    Dave

    You just do this.

    [blockquote]quoted text[/blockquote]

    But with pointy < > brackets instead of square ones.

    #231007

    bloodteller

    again, not a misheard line but when I was younger I assumed the ending of Quarantine was implying that Lister, Cat and Kryten had all caught the holovirus too and Rimmer would have to watch them slowly die from it. this genuinely horrified me and for ages i wondered how the hell they got out of that situation

    but it’s actually just them basically trolling rimmer for a laugh, isn’t it? it still seems unclear

    #231008

    Pete Part Three

    [Mind blown]

    #231010

    Dave

    The big question is where they got the exactly matching gingham dresses from.

    #231013

    International Debris

    Danny always looks uncomfortable in that scene. Bobby and Craig really go for it, but Danny just sort of sits there, bouncing a little bit, with an awkward grin on his face.

    #231014

    Warbodog

    A bit of luck virus could rustle up the three exact costumes you’re wishing for no problem, just try not to accidentally bump into a go-back-to-Earth-in-our-own-time-and-Kochanski’s-alive drive while you’re doing it.

    I only just realised that Rimmer finding the luck virus in the crashed Starbug in VIII means they had it all along when they were trying to catch up with Red Dwarf for 200+ years and it could have been handy. VIII keeps on giving.

    #231015

    International Debris

    The viruses were handily stored in Starbug’s cockpit.

    #231025

    Ben Saunders

    They used the luck virus, but they didn’t find Red Dwarf. They found each other. Because it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey, and the real Red Dwarf is the friends you make along the way.

    #231026

    bloodteller

    >means they had it all along when they were trying to catch up with Red Dwarf for 200+ years

    somewhat unrelated, but do the events of Rimmerworld technically mean that Red Dwarf is a further 600+ years away? no wonder they’d lost all trace of it by Out Of Time

    #231027

    Ben Saunders

    Do they not specifically mention that? I can’t remember but i always got the feeling they knew

    #231028

    Dave

    somewhat unrelated, but do the events of Rimmerworld technically mean that Red Dwarf is a further 600+ years away?

    I don’t see why. Time runs much faster inside the wormhole, so although Rimmer has to live through 600 years of relative time, the rest of the universe runs at normal speed.

    Presumably they only spend a few hours on Rimmerworld and then get back out of the wormhole, where only a matter of seconds will have passed.

    #231031

    Katydid

    In America, Cluedo is called Clue.

    I always heard it as: “Clue, though? You can be Colonel Mustard.”

    #231072

    RamesesNiblickTheThird

    Craig’s accent is really hard to understand at times in the early series. Then he left Liverpool and sold out like the Beatles and I could understand him better.

    #231120

    bloodteller

    when i first watched Dear Dave, for some reason i thought “slag” meant the same thing as “slog”, so i took the punchline as lister just moaning that the whole thing was an absolute waste of time since he wasn’t the father.

    #231133

    Ben Saunders

    That would describe the episode itself rather well x

    #231189

    Katydid

    As a child I thought Rasputin was Jesus and describing him as “the most hated man of his era” was a slam against Christianity, and so I was afraid to ever watch the episode when family were around.

    #231190

    Jimboid

    > again, not a misheard line but when I was younger I assumed the ending of Quarantine was implying that Lister, Cat and Kryten had all caught the holovirus too

    That’s surely what’s supposed to have happened, no?

    I always assumed that to be the case. Though it’s confusing how they appear with a hologrammatic “shooom”, though…seeing as how they’re not holograms. Or is it supposed to be a viewscreen rather than a window?

    Who’s eating this chicken?

    #231191

    Jimboid

    (and yes, Danny is a bit shit at acting mental).

    #231192

    International Debris

    The ‘shoom’ is the lights coming on. How could they catch a holovirus?

    #231193

    bloodteller

    surely them catching the virus makes more sense, though? lister, cat and kryten deciding to kit up in identical gingham dresses, seal rimmer in quarantine and then troll him for a laugh because he was mentally unwell doesn’t really feel like something the characters would do.

    #231194

    bloodteller

    there’s no way Cat would wear such an ugly dress out of his own free will, for example

    #231195

    International Debris

    I think the joke is “you put us through hell, so this is your punishment”, although frankly he deserves it after putting them in single berth quarantine with only sprouts and minimal entertainment. He’s extra cunty in the opening part of the episode.
    But yes, although visually amusing it’s conceptually a pretty weak joke, it has to be said. But it still makes more sense to me than Lister and Cat effectively catching a computer virus.

    #231196

    Jimboid

    Surely the joke is that the virus has somehow transferred to them? I mean …surely?

    That’s what I’m sticking with. Otherwise it’s an VIII level gag. I won’t let Quarantine be ruined for me, damn it.

    #231198

    bloodteller

    yeah, i think it works better if you assume they caught the virus as well. it’s a darker and better ending to the episode than “they dress up in gingham dresses for the lulz”

    #231199

    bloodteller

    *The observation window depolarises, revealing CAT, LISTER, and KRYTEN dressed in identical white labcoats, mopheads and comically large false teeth in their mouths.*

    KRYTEN: But don’t worry.
    LISTER: We’re here to entertain ya!

    *LISTER assualts Kochanski as KRYTEN pulls some silly faces and CAT does a tapdance.*

    #231203

    Warbodog

    There are other “how did they survive that?” endings (Polymorph, Legion), so I can sort of see that interpretation. But it seems clear it’s a “payback lol” ending (Marooned, Meltdown, Demons and Angels), only more elaborate.

    Does anyone remember being too young and innocent not to know what “the all-time number one” meant? I saw it when I was about 13, so very much aware.

    #231207

    Ben Saunders

    >troll him for a laugh because he was mentally unwell doesn’t really feel like something the characters would do.
    Well when you put it like that it sounds horrible. But when you remember what Rimmer put them through, they’re just getting revenge on him with a little bit of banter. I’m sure they let him out again shortly after. They definitely didn’t catch the holovirus and that wouldn’t even be a joke, imo.

    #231208

    Ben Saunders

    The ending of Meltdown isn’t the IV ending I’d depict as cruel, it’s the one where they watch Lister fall down a manhole probably several feet onto a metal surface, and look down on him as if ready to spit on him and close the hatch, because he deserves it for rambling a little.

    Is there any other point in the series where light-bees without their hologram are depicted as having sentience/speaking? Or is it just for that one (pretty horrible) gag. Can Rimmer see what’s going on, feel or smell it in any way? Can holograms smell? That bit with Lister’s moon boots suggests they might, but then he could just be turning his nose up because he remembers what they smell(ed) like.

    #231209

    Plastic Percy

    He can smell the smoke of Lister’s fire in ‘Marooned’ and recognises it as burning camphor wood.

    #231212

    bloodteller

    >they’re just getting revenge on him with a little bit of banter. I’m sure they let him out again shortly after.

    earlier in the episode they were so sick of Rimmer that they were perfectly willing to turn him off forever so they could have Lanstrom onboard ship. chances are if they sealed him in quarantine they’ll be keeping him there for a long time, which is rather an unpleasant thought. they do the same in Mechocracy, where they just leave him in the garbage hold for days (for some reason?)

    #231213

    bloodteller

    >it’s the one where they watch Lister fall down a manhole probably several feet onto a metal surface

    you hear the splash of water a couple of seconds after he falls, so presumably it was actually a sewer. still, either way it’s a pretty dodgy ending to the episode.

    #231214

    bloodteller

    there’s also the ending of Demons & Angels, where Rimmer and Cat decide to rob Lister of his free will and manipulate his body via a spinal implant for “just one week”. what are they planning to do with him?

    a fair few episodes seem to end with one of the main characters getting tortured in some way or another, don’t they?

    #231226

    Lily

    >a fair few episodes seem to end with one of the main characters getting tortured in some way or another, don’t they?

    This is one reason I’ve never understood the upset over the end of Tikka. Violence between the guys isn’t new, especially when in Quarantine you see they’ve beaten the crap out of each other.

    #231227

    Ben Saunders

    I think it being actually shown almost-explicitly might bother people. That, and the fact that it happens in VII, and I absolutely -do- think there is an element of forgiveness given to older episodes which is not applied to later ones, although to what degree it’s hard to say.

    >you hear the splash of water a couple of seconds after he falls
    I re-watched it before I commented and I am 100% sure it is the sound of metal, not water. Let me check again. [checks] …

    Alright, he hits metal [twice] and THEN hits water, so it must have been a LONG way down.

    Also, the ending of Justice contains the most painfully obvious running up-and-back-down of the same corridor the show has seen since… DNA? There’s at least one pretty obvious moment in V as well, and of course several in X, XI and XII.

    #231247

    PFMC84

    Justice was on the other day and I remember seeing the end and not noticing before the obvious re-use of the same corridor, but they did disguise it well with the boys walking around some stuff on the floor and the camera panning around as they did it to make it look like they were going down a different corridor. Until watching it that time, I never really registered that they walked down the corridor they just walked up from.

    #231249

    bloodteller

    >This is one reason I’ve never understood the upset over the end of Tikka.

    honestly, out of all the occasions where the posse have beaten each other up, Tikka To Ride is one where I think lister deserves it. he tricks the crew into using a machine that previously got them all killed just so he can have a curry, destroys civilisation from 1963 onwards, forces JFK to commit suicide-and after all this, he hasn’t learnt a thing and just moans about curry again. what a bastard

    #231253

    Dave

    I remember a friend of mine not having a problem with the beating per se, but being upset that Rimmer instigated it, which didn’t feel in keeping with his cowardly nature.

    #231255

    International Debris

    The only problem I have with the Tikka one is that that amount of beating would pretty much have killed him.

    #231259

    Ben Saunders

    >Until watching it that time, I never really registered that they walked down the corridor they just walked up from.
    But it’s so obvious! They show the little bit they turn around in clearly in the shot of them going back up and it’s plain as day that there is only one corridor there

    >Cowardly nature
    With Out of time having just happened i think Rimmer is perfectly capable of the extreme display of bravery that is beating up Lister

    #231260

    bloodteller

    >The only problem I have with the Tikka one is that that amount of beating would pretty much have killed him.

    to be fair, Cat getting his head smashed in with a shovel in Justice would have killed him as well. Red Dwarf usually seems to do comedy violence rather than a realistic representation of it

    #231261

    Ben Saunders

    Rimmer mutilating his genitals in VIII as well

    #231270

    bloodteller

    don’t know which episode it is, but there’s also one where Cat gets poked in the eyes and there’s a comedy schlopp sound

    it’s all usually silly violence, even the pub fight in Backwards which i’m pretty sure several people would at least be unbleeding from

    #231271

    Warbodog

    >don’t know which episode it is, but there’s also one where Cat gets poked in the eyes and there’s a comedy schlopp sound

    I really hoped you were somehow confusing Cat with Richie from Bottom, then I remembered it’s Bodyswap.

    #231275

    International Debris

    Oh yeah, the violence in the show is definitely exaggerated for comic effect, it’s just more the fact that the other three are pretty much killing Lister that just feels very wrong to me. Just a little step too far.

    #231282

    Hamish

    Besides, you don’t have to be brave to engage in violence as part of a mob.

    #232421

    bloodteller

    at the end of Blue when Kryten says “Sigmund Freud, eat your heart out!” i thought he was saying “Sigmund Droid” and it was like a futuristic android version of the famous psychoanalyst. turns out it isnt and now i feel slightly disappointed because Sigmund Droid sounds rather cool

    #232586

    Katydid

    “From Ganymede to Titan, yes syrup around!”

    Partially Craig Charles’ fault, I’d argue.

    #232596

    Ben Saunders

    Oh, when I was young I had no idea what the FUCK Craig was singing when he said “Lunar City Seven”, and went through probably dozens of iterations of what I thought it could possibly be, before seeing it written down on the internet and thinking OH.

    #232602

    International Debris

    Having read Infinity before getting the Remastered videos, I knew the lyrics already, and was very disappointed when “You good old artificially terraformed settlement” was rendered “You good old toddlin’ town” in Future Echoes.

    #232603

    Ben Saunders

    Lol, I’d like to see them try to fit those words into any kind of coherent melody

    #232612

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Chris has a stab in the audiobook.

    #232613

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Chris has a stab in the audiobook.

    #232620

    Timewave Part Two

    >they do the same in Mechocracy, where they just leave him in the garbage hold for days (for some reason?)

    Well only Cat locked Rimmer in the garbage hold, since Lister asks where Rimmer is he wasn’t involved and you can assume since Kryten wasn’t either.

    Cat locked Rimmer in there cause Rimmer blackmailed Cat for half the episode, and also side-note who’s to say Talkie Toaster wasn’t put back in the crew’s quarters but just got temporarily put in the garbage hold by Cat to further annoy Rimmer. Since Lister asks, “What, alone?”, he wouldn’t say that if they hadn’t moved Talkie out of there.

    #232626

    Warbodog

    I originally thought Hercule Platini’s name was “Er-cool,” some kind of genuine but laughably showy name.

    I thought Rimmer calling Legion “Le Jean” was another pop culture reference I didn’t understand, rather than him just putting on a French accent to show how cultured he is (I assume).

    #232629

    Dave

    I have seen people call him ‘Air Cool’ Platini too.

    #232644

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    There’s also this, from TOS:

    #232645

    Dave

    Well it probably is Air Cooled, it sounds like it.

    #232651

    International Debris

    “New Kochanski”??

    #232653

    Warbodog

    Alternate Back to Reality Kochanski.

    #232664

    International Debris

    Ha, I forgot you even see her.

    #232682

    flanl3

    FUCK Craig

    #232694

    Plastic Percy

    “everytime I see that charwood body it drives me crazy”

    #233806

    Warbodog

    “There hasn’t been prison gilch that can hold… ceramel fines.”

    Not being familiar with Sir Ranulph Fiennes or remembering the relevant scene in Rimmerworld when I first watched the Smeg Ups video, I didn’t know what to make of that. The bars in the cell window are made of ceramel, held in place by very strong gilch, and Craig made a smeg up in there somewhere?

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