Red Dwarf: In Brief

[Moonlight]

I always enjoyed the little “In Brief” synopses in the complete guide and thought it could be fun for us to write our own.

Me²

In Brief: Lister mock executes Rimmer as an interrogation tactic.

Timeslides

In Brief: Rimmer eats a sandwich and kills himself.

Officer Rimmer

In Brief: Rimmer and Kryten dry hump as Rimmer gives birth.

Topic

[Dave]

The Promised Land: Cat bullies Rimmer into committing suicide, and Lister reluctantly has to talk him out of it. Meanwhile, Kryten briefly dies until someone inserts a rock in him.

[Moonlight]

Officer Rimmer: A bunch of clones become a writhing pile of limbs, and not in a fun away.

[Warbodog]

Tikka to Ride
In brief: Cat kills a guy, invasively smells and consumes another guy, then participates in gang violence.

Just checked, and Oswald doesn’t die from Cat closing the window on him like I thought, it’s more like Lister kills him.

[Moonlight]

Justice

In Brief: Rimmer tricks Lister into self-immolating.

[Dave]

Polymorph II: Emohawk: When the crew get into a tough spot, Lister saves the day by turning to prostitution. 

[Warbodog]

Rimmerworld: Rimmer rubs his balls down to the nub over epic twincest.

[Dave]

Stasis Leak: Lister, Cat and Rimmer travel back in time to stare at a man’s genitals.

[Moonlight]

Rimmerworld: Rimmer is disappointed by his own penis.

Epideme: Kochanski hacks the arm off of a corpse.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Pete Part 2: An ancient fossil from a bygone age shits everywhere. Oh, and there’s a dinosaur too.

[Frank Smeghammer]

M-Corp:
The crew disappear. Then they come back and Lister is old. Then he’s not old anymore. Precisely nothing of interest happens further and then the credits roll

[Dave]

M-Corp:

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Series VIII: The crew come back and Rimmer’s alive. Then they disappear and Rimmer’s not alive anymore. Precisely nothing of any value or interest happens between.

[Flap Jack]

Backwards

In brief: Lister and the Cat steal a bicycle, regurgitate two pints of beer, and ask a van driver if he knows of the pub he just picked them up from.

[Dave]

Confidence & Paranoia: Rimmer casually regales Lister with an anecdote about the time he forced sex on a woman who was unable to consent, but later takes a far dimmer view of a teenager practicing kissing on his own hand.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Me2: Rimmer plays with himself and then feels bad.

[Moonlight]

Thanks for the Memory: Lister gaslights Rimmer into thinking he is loved.

Terrorform: Lister gaslights Rimmer into thinking he is loved.

[evilmorwen]

Legion: Rimmer meets a stranger who makes him hard.

[loadoftottnumb]

Mechocracy: Rimmer mocks Kryten’s past mental health issues, prompting Kryten to respond with digs about Rimmer’s deaths. Meanwhile, the cat needs glasses. 

[Moonlight]

Demons & Angels: Lister enjoys a hot coffee and goes on a killing spree.

[Flap Jack]

Stoke Me a Clipper

In brief: Lister tricks Rimmer into thinking he killed a man, then pressures him into faking his own death.

[Dave]

Queeg: Holly blacks up for a laugh.

[Ian Symes]

Infinity (Part One): Rimmer nearly has his penis ripped off by a robot prostitute.

Infinity (Part Two): Lister spends five days wandering round naked, swigging from a bottle of whisky.

Infinity (Part Three): Astride a fire-breathing yak, Cat shoots and kills twelve dogs.

[Jonathan Capps]

Backwards: Rob Grant gets an idea for Doug Naylor’s movie concept.

[Dave]

Bodyswap: Rimmer repeatedly violates the unwilling bodies of his crewmates.

[Flap Jack]

Future Echoes

In brief: Lister gets frustrated with a malfunctioning vending machine, and Rimmer gets a haircut.

[Formica]

Timewave: The Dwarfers compassionately save a ship from its collision course by helping a diverse crew learn a lesson about their sense of self-worth.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Tikka to Ride: The President is dying for a curry.

[Moonlight]

Ouroboros: Lister is rejected by a woman, then he shoots her with a crossbow.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Polymorph: Lister is attacked by a pair of briefs.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

The End: Lister’s package nearly escapes his briefs

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Ouroboros: Kryten sees Kochanski in her briefs

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Terrorform: Everyone sees Rimmer in his briefs.

[Dave]

Timewave: you’ll wish it was more brief.

[Frank Smeghammer]

Kryten:

The dwarfers completely ruin the life of a robot with artificial intelligence who is about as close to true happiness and contentment as is even possible for a synthetic, by kidnapping him to do laundry for them

[Moonlight]

Thanks for the Memory: Rimmer doesn’t have sex six times.

[Flap Jack]

White Hole

In brief: Kryten comes up with a plan for them to restore Holly to her former intelligence, but then they don’t.

[Nick R]

Parallel Universe: Lister and Rimmer meet male versions of themselves.

[Nick R]

Tikka to Ride
In brief: Cat kills a guy, invasively smells and consumes another guy, then participates in gang violence.

Just checked, and Oswald doesn’t die from Cat closing the window on him like I thought, it’s more like Lister kills him.

[Formica]

Lemons: The boys conduct a Caesarean operation.

[Moonlight]

Trojan: Rimmer’s astronavigation prep includes a question about mooses for some reason.

[Formica]

Trojan: Rimmer’s astronavigation prep includes a question about mooses for some reason.

[Moonlight]

There could be any number of perfectly valid answers that are not a moose, and the moose answer is only obvious if you happen to know the specific factoid from Lister’s book. You can’t logic your way into accurate 1970s Swedish traffic accident statistics based on the wording of the question alone. You’d need some sort of outside information to correctly answer it.

I love the moose bit but I don’t 100% buy that question showing up. It absolutely doesn’t matter though.

[Nick R]

Beyond a Joke: In this very special episode, Kryten learns about the dangers of drug addiction.

[Nick R]

Queeg: A computer simulation simulates another computer simulation, which forces another computer simulation to simulate exercise, before ultimately revealing that the whole thing was just a simulation.

[Moonlight]

Back in the Red: Rimmer commits sex crimes. Meanwhile, a simulation designed to emulate a realistic prison break scenario devolves into dancing spaceships for some reason.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Parallel Universe: Lister plays with himself and then feels bad.
Polymorph: Lister has an incident with his briefs.
Cassandra: Rimmer tries to use predeterminism to force a woman to sleep with him, and Lister kills someone after promising he wouldn’t.
Tikka to Ride: Lister kills someone after promising he wouldn’t, then eats a dead man, and then forces someone else to commit suicide.
Justice: Lister tricks an android into committing suicide.
Ouroboros: Lister tries to use predeterminism to force a woman to sleep with him. Afterwards, Lister plays with himself and then feels good.
White Hole: Everyone gets distracted and forgets what they were doing.

[Warbodog]

Backwards: Cat is reunited with his missing shit.

Me²: Cat does a shit.

Dear Dave: Cat does a shit again.

[International Debris]

Epideme 

Lister is disappointed to discover the woman sharing his bed is a corpse rather than his mum.

Back in the Red Part 2

Lister tries to rape his mum in a lift.

Krytie TV

Lister pervs on his mum in the shower and then directly asks to see her naked.

Back to Earth Part 3

Lister nearly dies to stay in an imaginary world where he’s in a relationship with his mum. 

[Nick R]

Future Echoes: Travelling faster than light is bad.

Waiting for God: The mistakes that creep into religious traditions over time are bad. (In other words, you might say: Chinese Whispers are bad.)

Me2: Meals served at unexpected temperatures are bad.

Thanks for the Memory: Misremembering something is bad.

Parallel Universe: Sexism is bad.

Marooned: Possessions and art are bad (compared to warmth and survival).

Bodyswap: Unhealthy indulgence is bad.

Timeslides: Inadequate photographic archival practices are bad.

DNA: Cosmetic surgery is bad.

Justice: Feeling guilty is bad.

Meltdown: War is bad.

Demons and Angels: Everyone is capable of being bad.

Psirens: Musical competence is bad.

Rimmerworld: Lack of societal diversity is bad.

Emohawk: Polymorph II: Arranged marriages are bad.

Tikka to Ride: JFK’s assassination was good.

Duct Soup: Air vents are bad.

Beyond a Joke: Drugs are bad.

Back to Earth: Fishing is bad.

Trojan: Being kept on hold is bad.

Lemons: Self-assembly instructions are bad.

Cured: Hitler was previously considered bad.

M-Corp: Monopolies are bad.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

The End: Radiation leaks are bad 

[Author]

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