Smegupoly – The Red Dwarf Boardgame.

[Baz]

Some time ago, on a Discworld Forum, I started a similar thread about a Monopoly board based on Ankh-Morpork and much fun was had by all (allegedly). You see I have this Make-your-own-opoly set (available in all good toy and game stores) where you can print out board squares of your own naming and put them on a board that is almost but not quite (in a very legal sense) the same as that from a certain popular board game. Of course unscrupulous types could put these stickers on a regular Monopoly board, which is of course shocking and not to be considered.

So, thinks I, why not a board based around places and/or items from the Red Dwarf? Old Kent Road and Whitechapel could become Skutters’ Broom Cupboard and Technicians’ Quarters, and so on. You have your Utilities and Stations to consider, Jail could be The Tank, Free parking the Docking Bay. The money of course is in Dollarpounds. Chance could be “Oh Smeg! What the smegging smeg’s he smegging done?” and Community Chest could be, I dunno, Yvonne McGruder?

Consider the pieces as well. I might be tempted to use the figures from the Starbug playset, but what would you have as more “traditional” white metal pieces? Talkie Toaster, a Skutter, a Polymorph, a Starbug, a thermos flask and a spare head spring to mind for starters.

The whole building houses and hotels thing doesn’t really work, but you might instead have, say cans of Leopard Lager, four being exchanged for a Mutton Vindaloo or some such.

Any thoughts?

Topic

[John Hoare]

I tell you something, get this done in time for DJ and for once we won?t have to go walking round golf courses at four in the morning.

Or get stung by FUCKING nettles.

Or actually be in REAL PHYSICAL DANGER OF DYING BY FALLING OFF A BRIDGE.

[Smeg4Brains]

> Or get stung by FUCKING nettles.

> Or actually be in REAL PHYSICAL DANGER OF DYING BY FALLING OFF A BRIDGE.

Wow….I really should try and come.

[Danny Stephenson]

or find strange houses in the middle of the wood THAT ONLY TURN UP ON THE RETURN JOURNEY!

[Ian Symes]

Or see DEAD WOMEN HANGING FROM TREES.

[Baz]

Points video camera at face. “I’m so sorry…”

Ahem.

8 colour groups, 8 RD series. Does seem to be woarkable doesn’t it. But which three things from each series?

[Danny Stephenson]

I was thinking about the Chance and Community Chest.

Maybe the Chance could be the “Locker Room Game” where you pick a Locker and you get what’s in it, you may lose money by getting a flame in the face. or you may get a bundle of cash…

[Smeg4Brains]

There must be a way to incorporate Space Corps Directives.

Don’t ask me how…I’m working on that part.

[Seph]

You were caught sniffing the bicycle saddle in the womens gym and have been dismissed without trial- Go directly to jail.

Skip a turn while you find at least one live chicken and a Rabbi.

[Danny Stephenson]

> 8 colour groups, 8 RD series. Does seem to be woarkable doesn?t it. But which three things from each series?

Well I’ve been busy over the last few days working out everything for this. I’m sorry Baz, I know it’s your core idea, but the G&T guys’ll tell you that when I get an idea in my head, more flood in and I can’t get it out til I write them down or tell someone.

OK.

I collated all the ideas from the fora so far and have come up with the following game plan.

I think since we’re following the game as per the series then we can use the base colours of the DVD releases as the colour code for each section so here we go:

GO – Ironically i Haven’t worked that out yet…

—————

Series 1 – (Red)

Technician’s Quarters
Skutter’s Broom Cupboard

(joke being that the Skutter’s Broom Cupboard is worth MORE than the Technician’s Quarters)

———–

Series 2 – (Blue)

Ganymede holiday Inn (Stasis Leak)
Nova 5 (Kryten)
Observation Dome (Thanks For The Memory)

———–

Series 3 – (Green)

Sickbay (Polymorph, Not too sure about this one, it’s a little ambivalent)
Backwards Earth (Backwards, I like the idea of the Deed Card heving reverse writing on it)
Xanadu (Timeslides)

———–

Series 4 – (Beige)

Science Room (White Hole)
Justice World (Justice)
WaxWorld (Meltdown)

———–

Series 5 – (Aquamarine)

Psi-Moon (Terrorform)
SSS Esperanto (Back To Reality)
SSS Enlightenment (Holoship)

———–

Series 6 – (Brown)

Gemini 12 (Out Of Time, I know this wasn’t reffered to but it’s a good name for a location for Series VI)
RimmerWorld (Rimmerworld)

———–

Series 7 – (Purple)

Aigburth Arms, 2155 (Ouroboros, Tenuous I know but again it’d be nice to have it in there)

Leviathan (Epideme)

SS Centauri (Beyond A Joke)

———–

Series 8 – (Orange)

SSS Silverberg (Cassandra, being one of the strongest episodes, deserves a mention)

Captain’s Office (Pete, reason for this is because I believe that because we’ve got the Technicia’s Quarters at the bottom, it be only right you have the Captain’s Office at the top)

====================================================

Utilities:

Electric Company: Divadroid International

Water Works: Crapola Inc.

===================================================

Stations:

Now i’m really not sure about how this would work but I think if you had the main moons mentioned in Dwarf lore would be quite cool is:

Io
Mimas
Ganymede
Titan
Miranda

take your pick with those.

=======================================================

Communitiy Chest: I think the Post Pod is a GREAT IDEA for this. Can open up loads of opportunities for bills and birthday (and deathday stuff) to appear in.

Chance: I have a strong conviction of using the Locker Room as this, Since the guys are opening up lockers at random. then it seems that you dont know what you’re gonna get.

========================================================

Jail: COuld be Quarantine, or the Tank. I purposely left those out of the square in order to choose.

Personally I really like the idea of quarantine being the Jail as the “GO TO JAIL” square could have Rimmer in his gingham dress looking mad.

I also think that the values of everything should stay the same only having the $? logo before them.

I think that’s it, I told you guys I have a lot of time on my hands….

[Danny Stephenson]

sorry!!! for Series 6 – Laredo as well…

[Andrew]

> sorry!!! for Series 6 – Laredo as well?

It’s called ‘Existence’ in the show. Laredo’s just the location.

[Danny Stephenson]

Isn’t the game called Streets of Laredo before they go in though?

[Andrew]

> Isn?t the game called Streets of Laredo before they go in though?

They don’t enter that game – they just use the characters from it. The game is named Street of Laredo as a nod to the location (see also ‘Adelphi 12’, referencing the 1998 DJ hotel).

But, as the main town sign clearly states (when the bad guys ride under it, and before it’s made to fall on Kryten’s head), Existence is the name of the place in Kryten’s subconscious. It ties in with the plot of them wanting Kryten out of town – telling us that if he leaves, he’ll die.

[Danny Stephenson]

AH! Cool, didn’t know that the Adelphi 12 was a nod to the Hotel of a Convention, that’s awesome! OK Well, then “Existence” would be the name of the location in Series 6 instead of Laredo.

[Phil]

>Jail: COuld be Quarantine, or the Tank.

Quarantine is much more appropriate, I think, as there are plenty of things for the gang to encounter that would necessitate a spell in quarantine, and not all that much that’d send them to jail. (Outside of series VIII, who’d even weild the authority to send them to jail? Quarantine, however, being a safety issue, is a guideline the crew would be much more likely to adhere to.)

Quarantine allows you to have fun with space viruses, villains, parasites, even just exotic locations. All sorts of creative reasons to isolate a player.

Also Danny is right. We get to use the picture of Rimmer in the gingham dress. That should about end the discussion.

[John Hoare]

I didn’t know about the Adelphi 12 either! That’s fantastic.

[Danny Stephenson]

> Existence is the name of the place in Kryten?s subconscious. It ties in with the plot of them wanting Kryten out of town – telling us that if he leaves, he?ll die.

Ah, metaphors, aren’t they wonderful.

[Danny Stephenson]

I missed out the taxes didn’t i? It’s GOT to be Outland Revenue hasn’t it?

[Andrew]

> I didn?t know about the Adelphi 12 either! That?s fantastic.

DJ98 was a big deal for GNP, I think. The entire cast, the biggest attendance ever – and it all happened on a weekend in the MIDDLE of the Series VIII audience shoot schedule!

[Danny Stephenson]

Man how I wish that could still happen… *sniff*

[Andrew]

Chris, Craig, Danny and Robert joining Clayton Mark’s half-pissed Elvis live on stage. Totally unplanned, and utterly wonderful.

My last DJ as a regular fan, pre BTL and GNP. What a way to go.

[Seb Patrick]

Was that at the Liverpool Adelphi, then?

Gah, to have known about these things back in those days!

[John Hoare]

I know. I was 17! I could have gone! But I just wasn’t involved with that kind of thing back then.

Sob.

[Smeg4Brains]

> I was 17! I could have gone!

I was……10.

[Danny Stephenson]

My god, where has the time gone.

[Danny Stephenson]

I digress, what about the huge list i made, would that sound feasible?

[Smeg4Brains]

> I digress, what about the huge list i made, would that sound feasible?

I really like the idea and would love for it to happen but something tells me it wont.

[Tarka Dal]

Space Core Directives really do have to be worked in. Locker Room game for Chance cards and Space core related stuff for community chest?

I also like the idea of using the Captain’s Office in Series 8 as everything in that corner would be related to the ship. The only problem being that the Captain’s office would be the most valuable square.

You could actually do a special board for this though couldn’t you? With The Dwarf appearing in the starting corner and then a starfield backdrop with various directions and bits of trivia being scrawled on the board, I think there was something similar in the 1996 diary thingy.

[Tarka Dal]

> I digress, what about the huge list i made, would that sound feasible?

Yeah totally. I don’t agree with *all* the choices. Not really sure about the Moons for example but as a collective we are definitely hammering out the basis of something fantastic.

[Tarka Dal]

Had another idea for this coming back on the tube from Ian’s house. Could the idea of a backwards universe be shoe-treed into the gameplay anywhere? The excuse I’ll use is that it would incorporate yet another bit of dwarf folklore into the game. The reality is I’ve a bit of a vendetta against Series 8 and I loathe the idea of series 8 locations being the most prized. So anyhow here are four ideas for a backwards Red Dwarf monopoly.

– Navigate the board backwards: Does exactly what it says on the tin. Start at go and then go round Mayfair first.

– Reverse the point of the game: The aim becomes to lose all your money as quickly as possible. A bit daft, a bit Brewster’s millions, but also it should mean games don’t go on all night.

– Reverse property costs: Instead of the series 8 locations being the most expensive, the series one locations are the most valuable and with each passing series property costs get smaller.

– Flip the series order: Same as above just done in a different way. The first two locations are the series 8 ones with Mayfair and Park Lane becoming series one locations.

Additional: Another Post-Pod card idea, renew your subscription to Facist Dictator Monthly, pay $?100.

[Baz]

Snort.

I’ll type up the contents of the Chance and Community Chest cards here later for people to ponder over. Do like the Locker Room and Post Pod labels.

Also like what else has been done so far. You people are having fun aren’t you. Not so sure about the board backwards thing. Think the Bunk Room and the Stasis Booth for the first two properties. Definitely the Captain’s Cabin as the last one. Go could be the Red Dwarf itself, or Earth. Utilities, I still like my Bazookoid and Psi Scanner, but you could have either Holly (or both Hollies) and/or the Skutters and or the Vending Machines. They really are the Red Dwarf utilities. Stations are a thorny one. Red Dwarf (if not used for Go) Blue Midget, Starbug and White Midget/Giant are possibles I thought, all the JMC ships.

[Tarka Dal]

Oh yeah the backwards thing really was just a way to cheapen Series 8 ;-)

How about Norweb and Perrier for the utilities.

[Smeg4Brains]

“You poisoned the mineral spring in France which is the source of all the world’s Perrier water and wiped out the upper-class. Advance to Mayfair (Or whatever the Mayfair square becomes).”

[Baz]

Ok then-

Chance.
1.Speeding fine ?15.
2.Bank pays you dividend of ?50.
3.Advance to Trafalgar Square. If you pass Go collect ?200.
4.Advance to Go.
5.Pay school fees of ?150.
6.Advance to Mayfair.
7.Get out of Jail free.
8.Assessed for street repairs, ?40 per house, ?115 per hotel.
9.Make general repairs on all your buildings, ?25 per house, ?100 per hotel.
10.Advance to Pall Mall. If you pass Go collect ?200.
11.Take a trip to Marylebone Station. If you pass Go collect ?200.
12.Your building loan matures, receive ?150.
13.Go to Jail.
14.Go back three spaces.
15.Drunk in charge, fine ?20.
16.You have won a crossword competition, collect ?100.

Community Chest.
1.Bank error in your favour, collect ?200.
2.Pay hospital ?100.
3.Win second prize in a beauty contest, collect ?10.
4.Income tax refund, collect ?20.
5.Pay a ?10 fine or take a Chance.
6.Pay your insurance premium ?50.
7.From sale of stock you get ?50.
8.Receive interest on 7% preference shares, ?25.
9.Advance to Go.
10.Go back to Old Kent Road.
11.Get out of Jail free.
12.It is your birthday, collect ?10 from each player.
13.Doctor’s fee, pay ?50.
14.Annuity matures, collect ?100.
15.Go to Jail.
16.You inherit ?100.

There you go.

[Danny Stephenson]

I recently played Monopoly with my nephew, (see one of the previous posts) and i found that we came full circle with the Chance and Community Chest cards. 16 each doesnt’ seem enough to be honest.

[peas_and_corn]

“- Navigate the board backwards: Does exactly what it says on the tin. Start at go and then go round Mayfair first.

– Reverse the point of the game: The aim becomes to lose all your money as quickly as possible. A bit daft, a bit Brewster?s millions, but also it should mean games don?t go on all night.

– Reverse property costs: Instead of the series 8 locations being the most expensive, the series one locations are the most valuable and with each passing series property costs get smaller.

– Flip the series order: Same as above just done in a different way. The first two locations are the series 8 ones with Mayfair and Park Lane becoming series one locations.”

Going around the board backwards sounds good, but changing the values? That will confuse people a lot- especially when it comes to charging rent. Also, the losing money thing, isn’t that already a board game?

[Danny Stephenson]

Right. These ideas aren’t goin away!

PIeces

Red Dwarf (Battleship)
Blue Midget (Car)
Starbug (train)

All modes of transportation, and red dwarf is a ship, get it?

Skutter (Horse and rider)
Bazookoid (cannon)
Talkie Toaster (Iron) – YSWIDT?
Kevin the Polymorph (Scottie Dog)
Escort Boot (Boot)

Cat’s earring from The Last Day
Kryten’s Spare head
Lister’s Deer Stalker (Top Hat)
Rimmer’s Light Bee (thimble)
Holly Hop Drive

Not all the pieces are accounted for. But they all seem to have a counterpart. HA! A COUNTER! Like a GAME COUNTER! Oh i need to stop. No, seriously. I need to stop…

This is getting beyond obsession.

[Tarka Dal]

Okay we (Capps, Symes and I) are thinking that the four stations should be four things of the same type that are referenced but not visited (or at least more referenced locations than visited ones)

So four example four pubs. The only trouble is that we could only think of Aigburth Arms and Parrot’s Bar. Which of course are both visited. However if anyone can think of any more please do.

[Andrew]

That space bar, the Hacienda, remember that?

[Danny Stephenson]

> the four stations should be four things of the same type that are referenced but not visited

My ‘moon’ idea still hold with that then. That’s kinda what I wanted.

Unvisited locations.

[Smeg4Brains]

How about ships (non JMC)

[Tarka Dal]

Yeah Danny we actually thought the Moon idea was about the strongest stations idea yet.

[philmyer92]

is this idea dead now? well i’ve been thinking about it and for the faces on the money i came up with this
1- Kryten
5- Lister
10- Rimmer
20- Holly
50- Kochanski
100- Captain Hollister
500-Cat

I did it based on rank on the ship but wasnt sure about holly and cat i put cat at top for 2 reasons i didnt really want a non major character as the biggy plus that is probably is how the cat thinks it should be. would it be good having skutters on money for the joke they outrank rimmer and lister

Also the card for get out of quarantine free should be something like “You find the luck virus you can use this to get out of quarantine” it would also work for the tank

[Baz]

Hadn’t given much thought to the money, but It’ll be some combination as above certainly. Alas that you’re not going to see the finished product at DJ, can’t go now. :(

[Danny Stephenson]

Well, I’ve had a go at designing a board as well. But I couldn’t afford any of those Make-Your-Own-Opoly things. So I made it on Photoshop.

I can’t show you what it would look like, unfortunately. But those who are going to DJ will see it as we intend to play it there…

I’ve done the board and the money, so far.

Still got to make the Deed cards, and the Chance/Community Chest cards. I may have to just bring the genuine monopoly pieces to play with….

[cliff]

That backwards idea gave me some inspiration…….

How about when you pick up a chance/community chest(equivelents) it instructs you(all players?) to start moving in the opposite direction?, this could last until another card is produced or just for one circuit of the board?…

Also certain cards could be written bacwards and require a mirror to read!…

!.thguoth a tsuj..

ffilc.

[cliff]

……of course the idea of moving backwards could also expand to playing the game in reverse(as mentioned)with the player owning the property paying you when you land on their property….might get confusing!.

cliff

[cliff]

Well, I?ve had a go at designing a board as well. But I couldn?t afford any of those Make-Your-Own-Opoly things. So I made it on Photoshop…………

Try getting a makeyourownopoly off ebay, i bought an unused one this week for ?3.00!!!……….

…let me know how you get on with your game as i’m tackling it soon as!.

[hummingbird]

I’d love to see what the photoshopped board looked like – can someone post a pic?

The Make-your-own board isn’t as big as a standard Monopoly board – not as many spaces. And the label making software’s a bit naff too. You could probably do better with Photoshop.

I’m tempted to have a go. My son has an unused Make-your-own-opoly (he had big intentions to make it into Firefly-oply at one point, but it never materialised). As he’s recently discovered Dwarf for the first time, he might be up for making it.

[Danny Stephenson]

Am i allowed to post my picture?
It took me 12 weeks to make it…

[Author]

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