Smegupoly – The Red Dwarf Boardgame.

[Baz]

Some time ago, on a Discworld Forum, I started a similar thread about a Monopoly board based on Ankh-Morpork and much fun was had by all (allegedly). You see I have this Make-your-own-opoly set (available in all good toy and game stores) where you can print out board squares of your own naming and put them on a board that is almost but not quite (in a very legal sense) the same as that from a certain popular board game. Of course unscrupulous types could put these stickers on a regular Monopoly board, which is of course shocking and not to be considered.

So, thinks I, why not a board based around places and/or items from the Red Dwarf? Old Kent Road and Whitechapel could become Skutters’ Broom Cupboard and Technicians’ Quarters, and so on. You have your Utilities and Stations to consider, Jail could be The Tank, Free parking the Docking Bay. The money of course is in Dollarpounds. Chance could be “Oh Smeg! What the smegging smeg’s he smegging done?” and Community Chest could be, I dunno, Yvonne McGruder?

Consider the pieces as well. I might be tempted to use the figures from the Starbug playset, but what would you have as more “traditional” white metal pieces? Talkie Toaster, a Skutter, a Polymorph, a Starbug, a thermos flask and a spare head spring to mind for starters.

The whole building houses and hotels thing doesn’t really work, but you might instead have, say cans of Leopard Lager, four being exchanged for a Mutton Vindaloo or some such.

Any thoughts?

Topic

[philmyer92]

Wow!

[Smeg4Brains]

good stuff

[ChrisM]

Very good.

[Ian Symes]

I’d forgotten how utterly utterly brilliant that was.

[Danny Stephenson]

it’s a shame you can’t zoom in big enough to see it all…

[Ian Symes]

Just move your head closer to the object.

[Danny Stephenson]

I even made money…

[Mnoooah]

Photoshop: realising geek dreams since, er, well, one of you geeks will know. Very, very nice. May I say this thread in general resides in the halls of fandom excellence. So did you play it Danny? What were the rules?

[Danny Stephenson]

Here is the money…

5 Dollarpound Note

10 Dollarpound Note

20 Dollarpound Note

50 Dollarpound Note

100 Dollarpound Note

500 Dollarpound Note

So did you play it Danny? What were the rules?

Well, the rules are pretty much exactly the same as the original monopoly, but as yet I never got round to making the Community Chest/Post Pod or the Chance/Locker Room Cards. I will get round to it eventually… Would like to get it ready and made to a good enough standard to make it to the next Dimension Jump, so we’ll see what happens.

[Mnoooah]

*whistle* pretty! You’ll be the belle of the Jump!

[Mnoooah]

I thought writing the chance cards would be a fun excersise, but I’m less clever than I thought.

1.Speeding fine ?15.
Salary docked 15 DP for riding space bike through corridors.

5.Pay school fees of ?150.
Score illegal learning drugs: 150DP

7.Get out of Jail free.
Realise you still have the luck virus on you right away. Skip several beatings and the best part of the episode.

8.Assessed for street repairs, ?40 per house, ?115 per hotel.
Lister leads a pub crawl through your properties. OR: Host Stag Party thoughrout time and or/ space. Pay the damages and remind yourself to do it on someone else’s property next time.

9.Make general repairs on all your buildings, ?25 per house, ?100 per hotel.
Upgrade your surroundings. Invest $25/donut stand/kebab shop or 100/rimmerbuilding for inflatable bananas and rivet paint.

14.Go back three spaces.
Realise you left the keys to starbug on that other version of red dwarf from three universes ago. go back three spaces. OR
Have editorial regrets. Go back three series.

15.Drunk in charge, fine ?20.
Petersen swears he will get the next one and he really loves you, man.

[Danny Stephenson]

I thought writing the chance cards would be a fun excersise, but I?m less clever than I thought.

Now you know why i haven’t made them yet. :)

[hummingbird]

Wow, I’m speechless!
Can I commission you to make one for me?

[Pete Part Three]

That’s awesome, Danny.

[Tanya Jones]

That’s beautiful, Danny! Isn’t there some sort of tax demand card? It could have the phrase ‘Oh-oh-oh! Outland Revenue!’ on it. I’m dead good at RD, me.

[Baz]

That is truely a thing of beauty and a joy forever. You officially win the internet.

What did you settle on for the playing pieces and the house/hotels? You did a list of pieces in an earlier post here.

[Danny Stephenson]

Battleship – Red Dwarf
Car – Blue Midget
Train – Starbug
Top Hat – Lister?s Deer Stalker
Thimble – Rimmer?s Light Bee
Scottie Dog – Kevin the Polymorph (from ?Polymorph?)
Iron – Talkie Toaster (from ?White Hole?)
Cannon – Bazookoid
Horse – Skutter
Boot – Escort Boot (from ?Justice?)

I tried to give everything a suitable aklternative, like the iron being a houshole item so the toaster would be a good idea as a replacement, and the boot being updates to an Escort boot, etc etc. YSWIDT.

[Almighty_crj]

Fantastic board, Danny. I really like what you’ve done with it. I’ve made up a few cards if anyone fancies a laugh

Locker Room (Chance)
3.Advance to Trafalgar Square. If you pass Go collect ?200.
A distress call is bleeping. Go directly to Lanstrom?s Laboratory!

4.Advance to Go.
Hollyhop your way to Go. If you want to start, press start. You can work out the rest of the controls for yourself.

5.Pay school fees of ?150.
The teaching lab want $?150 pounds for your last astronavigation exam. You didn?t even pass!

6.Advance to Mayfair.
The Captain apparently didn?t find that jape with the sex drug funny. Report to the Captain?s Office immediately!

7.Get out of Jail free.
There must be odds of billions to one against you getting this card. You?ve been swigging the luck virus again, haven?t you? Decode the quarantine seal and get out!

10.Advance to Pall Mall. If you pass Go collect ?200.
There?s life sign in the hold. Holly can?t get fix on it. Grab a bazookoid and go directly to the Cargo Bay.

13.Go to Jail.
Space Corps Directive 595 states that any crew member that been in contact by any virus will be held in Quarantine for * throws. Or did I make that one up? Go directly to Quarantine while I go check.

15.Drunk in charge, fine ?20.
You?ve keeled over in a corridor, blind drunk. You?ve been fined $?20 for obstructing superior officers.

16.You have won a crossword competition, collect ?100.
You?re struggling with join the dots but then when you finish – hey, it?s a bucket and spade! Collect $?100 just to annoy the others!

[Almighty_crj]

Decided to cut it in half:

Post Pod (Community Chest)
1.Bank error in your favour, collect ?200.
Holly has flamingoed up your bank account. It?s like a cock up, only bigger. Collect $?200 compensation.

2.Pay hospital ?100.
The medical staff have deemed that last stomach pump avoidable. They are therefore charging you the $?100 fee.

3.Win second prize in a beauty contest, collect ?10.
Apparently belching Yankee doodle dandy has won you second prize in the talent contest. Which is a bit odd considering only you entered, but $?10 is yours for the taking!

4.Income tax refund, collect ?20.
Outland Revenue have made a mistake and have given you refund of $?20 after all. If only they did that before they demanded money with menaces?

5.Pay a ?10 fine or take a Chance.
Either you open the locker or pay the bet. It?s as simple as that, man.

6.Pay your insurance premium ?50.
Apparently as you are a hologram, you currently invalidate your life insurance contract and need to pay your regular $?50 instalment.

10.Go back to Old Kent Road.
You are now going to be escorted back to the Sleeping Quarters by Mr Thornton. Then he will attach to your arm a small device that can shock enough energy up your jacksie to light up the whole of Bootle! Move!

12.It is your birthday, collect ?10 from each player.
It?s your last day on board ship. Collect $?10 from each player, as well as any other crap they may wish to give you.

[Phil]

I feel like adding another “Your board is brilliant Danny” to the mix is unnecessary, but damn…I can’t resist. Jesus Christ that’s good.

[Jo]

Am i allowed to post my picture?
It took me 12 weeks to make it?

That’s gorgeous Danny! Well worth the 12 weeks work :o)

[Ridley]

It’s your birthday, give ?15 to each player. Those cards aren’t free, y’know.

[Danny Stephenson]

I’ve managed to upload a full-sized board

Please find it Here.

Also an example of the Deed Cards I made:

Please find that Here.

[Baz]

Save, on data stick, to the copy shop men! Print correct size on glossy, sticky backed if poss. Ka-ching!

i haz a smegopoly bord.

(or will do when I actually DO the above)

[dennisthedoughnutboy]

Someone told me once that Monopoly 3 for the PC was easily customised with new boards – I’m going to have to try it now with these graphics. If it works, I’ll let you all know.

[Seb Patrick]

>Someone told me once that Monopoly 3 for the PC was easily customised with new boards – I?m going to have to try it now with these graphics. If it works, I?ll let you all know.

Never mind Monopoly 3 – the first one from a few years ago is. I made a Dwarf board yonks and yonks ago. It was nowhere near as good as Danny’s.

[dennisthedoughnutboy]

Perhaps that’s the one then, I know one of my schoolmates had hacked one of them to pieces.

[Baz]

What are we using for houses and hotels? Hot dog and donut stalls and Gannymede Hiltons? Cans of lager and a chicken vindaloo?

[Phil]

Series 1 and series VIII Hollisters.

[Danny Stephenson]

You’d need something that’s easy to make and yet easy to see what it is, Rimmer buildings for Hotels (ie tall versions of the hotels with an “h” on the roof or something”)

[Pete Part Three]

>with an ?h? on the roof or something

Is that for baby helicopters?

[Danny Stephenson]

remote-controlled baby helicopters.

[dennisthedoughnutboy]

Well, the PC version’s a non starter – you can hack it, yes, but you can only really change the text, ot any of the other stuff. Shame really

[cliff]

Am i allowed to post my picture?
It took me 12 weeks to make it?

Hi Danny,

Am very impressed with your ‘Smegupoly’…a bang up job!,

any chance you could send me copy’s of all the other title deed cards?, be great if you could.

Cliff

[cliff]

Danny did you do a cover for the box too?….there’s a challenge for ya if ya didn’t!..

Cliff

[Danny Stephenson]

The next job is to create the Post Pod and Locker Room cards. Then I’m looking at some 3d work for the playing pieces.

I don’t really want to release every part of my game until I’ve either finished everything, or got the thing made into a tangible object that you can touch/feel/smell/fondle. (Delete as appropriate) And because the psd files for the card is huge (I made them at 300dpi, unlike the board itself. I may have to do that one again :S) and my computer is slow as shit ATM.

I have thought about making a box cover, but its in a very basic stage at the moment. Until I get an estimate for the game i’m not gonna attempt one til i know i can afford to have it made.

[cliff]

I see, cool, keep me posted, it looks great so far!.

[cliff]

Danny……can the cards/board you’ve made be relayed to ‘makeyourownopoly’?, or is the scale out?. Cliff.

[Baz]

I would like to reserve a copy for when you start production.

Srsly.

[hummingbird]

>I would like to reserve a copy for when you start production.
>Srsly.

I think a lot of us would second that.

Danny – this is such a professional looking job. I want this game so much it hurts.

[Phil]

I would also like to place a pre-order.

[cliff]

Danny you put Waddingtons to shame…..me too!!!..

[cliff]

Danny?…..how’s it comin on?…

[TheLeen]

I’d love one as well.

[Danny Stephenson]

Danny??..how?s it comin on??

It’s on hiatus at the moment owing to uni work, but it’s something i’m gonna have a go at in the next few weeks if i have a bit of time.

[cliff]

cool!……..u da man!.

[Danny Stephenson]

http://www.firebox.com/product/1565/My-Monopoly

I’ve found this…

[Mnoooah]

Enh. Pfft. Feeble by comparison.

[peas_and_corn]

>NB: Any of you potty mouths/corporate bods who are thinking of personalising your board with offensive language/brand names can think again. Our good friends at Hasbro are not about to sully this legendary game with crass nonsense like that. So there!

So there goes my plans to have a ‘your mum’ property (it will, obviously, be in place of Old Kent Road)

[cliff]

so i couldn’t have ‘Milf’ instead of Whitechapel then?…

[Author]

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