Things said that come out funny by mistake

[penny]

I broke my ankle this morning and my dad just rang me saying “have a break”….anything you heard or said that was meant to be something else, but ended up being a joke instead?

Topic

[Jonathan Capps]

When in Scilly I once proudly proclaimed I’d spotted “Gary from Bandau Spallet” at the fete.

[Phil]

We were talking about Elton John at a party once where I was pretty drunk…specifically we were talking about our least favorite Elton songs.

Mine was “Rockodile Cock.”

[Steve Harris]

I told my ex-mother-in-law and family that my father was comfortable in hospital and had been diagnosed with Vagina…

[Dave]

>Mine was ?Rockodile Cock”

Apparently while drunk I bent someone from the beeb’s ear about how shit Robin Hood is, but every time thought I said Little John, I said Elton John.

[pfm]

I actually started a mini-argument with my girlfriend when I sort of subconciously said ‘I love you, in a way’ as in the Partridge quote. It didn’t go down too well… Even though she’d seen the episode probably about 10 times due to me watching it she still just didn’t get that it was a quote from the episode and I’d accidentally said it!

Women….

[Phil]

I used that same quote with my ex-ex-girlfriend a few years ago. We were hanging out with a bunch of friends and they all laughed uproariously, which, I think, made her feel as though it was much more of a putdown than it was. (In fact, I actually just said it to be cute…)

I still feel kind of bad about that.

[Mr Flibble]

That’s the trouble with quotes – they tend to come out “offensive” instead of “funny” unless the other person knows it too…

[ChrisM]

I remember being at a friends house once (actually I remember being there lots of times har har). His mum had one of those viberating cushions. You know those things that are activated when you lean/sit on them sometimes to startling effect if you’re not expecting it?

Well one of the guys there leant on the cushion setting it off. My mate’s mum said “Don’t worry, it’s just my viberator.”, then left the room. What made it all the more amusing was that she was completely oblivious to what she had said.

[Author]

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