Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Your Red Dwarf juvenilia

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  • #236436
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I’ve been self-indulgently digging through the Internet Archive and exhumed a review I wrote about Red Dwarf at 14 for dooyoo.co.uk. It earned me £1.52.

    It’s not funny (my reverential just-discovered-nu-metal ones are funnier) or particularly insightful, except that I apparently preferred VIII to I & II, which would be corrected when the DVDs came out a few years later.

    I’m hoping other people might have more entertaining enthusiastic, angry or embarrassing opinions/forum posts/art/fic that’s preserved online/offline for posterity, whether they like it or not. Arbitrary cut-off age 15-16, you’re too fully formed after that.

    Review: “Smeggin’ Fantastic”

    *****

    01.07.2000

    Red Dwarf is simply amazing. It’s managed to last over ten years, while its original concept was turned away by the BBC many times. It has now become one of the most-loved British programmes, and manages to balance science fiction and comedy like no other show.

    The first few series, now remastered, mainly focused on the comedy angle, but with the addition of Kryten in series 3, the stories started to veer more towards science fiction with series four and five, while series six, my favourite series, kept the balance perfectly. Series 7 was created by Doug Naylor alone after his co-creator Rob Grant left the franchise, and the stories became generally duller and less funny thsn previous series. However, in 1999s series eight, the balance was restored and Red Dwarf became popular again.

    I’ve followed the programme for years although I’m only fourteen, and with the new film due to begin filming in 2001 it seems fans like me will have plenty to sink our teeth into in the future. I only wish the videos for series four to six would be re-released as I desperately want them.

    Advantages: An incredible show, and by far my favourite TV show ever.

    Disadvantages: The first few series suffered a low budget, and these aren’t as good as the later ones.

    #236438

    and with the new film due to begin filming in 2001 it seems fans like me will have plenty to sink our teeth into in the future.

    Yeah, about that…

    #236439
    clem
    Participant

    I didn’t know Rob co-created Doug.

    #236440
    Dave
    Participant

    With Rob and Doug going round and round in time, Grant Naylor will never truly be extinct.

    #236446
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Bragging about having known about Red Dwarf “for years although I’m only fourteen.” Can you imagine how insufferable I was/am?

    #236447
    MANI506
    Participant

    I loved the VHS video designs when I was a sbool boy and created my own versions. This would have been 1992 when only III, IV and II were available.

    #236449
    Dax101
    Participant

    >However, in 1999s series eight, the balance was restored and Red Dwarf became popular again.

    Ah how times change.

    #236470
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Bits of non-Red Dwarf reviews from that same month that made me laugh in either their weird phrasing or how absolutely contrary they are to my opinions and personality today.

    There’s Something About Mary **** “The film is very funny, moreso to Americans than us because it is about their lifestyle, and with Cameron Diaz in it you know it’s going to be good.”

    The Haunting (1999) *** “A lot better than the original film, made in black and white decades ago”

    Chicken Run *** “The animation was excellent, and they’ve obviously spent a lot of time on it, but I think Aardman should realize that with breakthroughs such as Toy Story and Antz, computer animation is much more impressive, quicker and simpler.”

    #236471

    I used to write down every episode of Red Dwarf into a notebook over-and-over.

    Last day of 5th grade, I did the Rimmer-salute (Series VIII edition) to every friend of mine as a so-long, none of them knew what Red Dwarf was needless to say.

    Don’t have any written-reviews, but I can assure you I thought they were all amazing. Though past me was disappointed Series X wasn’t on Netflix, I was able to watch it (I don’t remember how tho).

    #236476
    Dave
    Participant

    and with Cameron Diaz in it you know it’s going to be good

    Spoken like a true fourteen-year-old.

    #236479
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I used to write down every episode of Red Dwarf into a notebook over-and-over.

    Do you mean a list of the titles? I made some Red Dwarf documents on Word and Amiga Wordworth, because I remember doing the bolded white on black with red Ds logo various times, but the only one I remember the purpose of was updating the second edition programme guide’s now-outdated A to Z to include VIII references from memory. I got as far as just ‘Ackerman’ before boring even myself, presumably Howarth & Lyons got around to it without my help.

    When I was 16-17 and discovered Yahoo! Groups I made a /reddwarfvi group to express how much I particularly liked series VI. I added the VI images from the official site’s gallery (Dibbley with Emohawk etc.) and that was it. Presumably closed shortly after due to lack of people interested in discussing just one eighth of a series they also like the rest of.

    #236481
    Warbodog
    Participant

    #236485

    I’d also write down every GELF and Simulant they came across, this was before I knew there was a wiki or even a Wikipedia page.

    #236486
    Warbodog
    Participant

    “I’m only 14” strikes again on the Lee and Herring quotes page.

    Don’t know who the other chap is.

    #236487
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    I hope you’ve changed your opinion on claymation since, Warbohog

    #236495
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I’ve gone too far in the other direction and can’t really appreciate CGI artistically because I want everything to be impractically practical like it used to be.

    #236498

    One lunchtime at school, a friend and I – we would probably have been 14 ourselves – recited the whole of The End, start-to-finish, word-for-word.

    #236500
    Dave
    Participant

    I remember going into class as a 12-year-old and trying to do the whole “what things? I said what?” scene from memory after seeing it on TV the night before.

    #236510
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    >“I’m only 14” strikes again on the Lee and Herring quotes page.

    Yelp. I’m on that page. I wasn’t 14, sadly.

    #236511

    Last day of 5th grade, I did the Rimmer-salute (Series VIII edition) to every friend of mine as a so-long, none of them knew what Red Dwarf was needless to say.

    I went on a school trip to Germany for 2 weeks when I was 11 or 12 and whilst everyone else was hugging their mums and dads saying they’d miss them, I just turned to mine and said “smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast”, turned and got on the coach.

    My mum thought it was hilarious.

    #236519
    bloodteller
    Blocked

    To be fair, that is hilarious

    #236560
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    I would often quote “and Santa Clause! What a bastard! He’s the fat little git who sneaks down chimneys stealing all the kid’s favourite toys”, and “Rimmer, I want me body back now!”, among other things, in primary school.

    I quoted the Santa Clause line incorrectly for years and was surprised to discover it’s actually phrased differently on a recent rewatch

    #236564
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    It’s also spelt differently.

    #236570
    si
    Participant

    Behold my old homemade VHS sleeves.

    Although, having thought about it, only series IV, V and VI were done in my early teens. And possibly RD USA. I was 18 by the time series VII rolled around.

    #236572
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    I remember drawing my own new Red Dwarf shuttlecraft, Yellow Imp, and my nan stuck it on her fridge.

    #236575
    clem
    Participant

    > Behold my old homemade VHS sleeves.

    Nice. I’d forgotten about those caricaturey Rimmer and Duane model kits. I had the Kryten one when I was about 14 and painted it really rather shitly.

    #236587
    si
    Participant

    The Sheffield Space Centre (book/comic/Forbidden Planet-type shop) had a Kryten model for years, and I never got round to buying it. When I finally got the opportunity, I’d missed it.

    #236593
    tombow
    Participant

    When I was in year 7 (age 12 ish) we had to do a big project on any subject we wanted, and I chose Red Dwarf. I basically just copied out sections of the programme guide and “making of Gunmen of the..” book along with my own cartoons of the characters and ships.

    Thing is my Dad got the idea that this project was some super important deal that was going to set the scene of how my teachers judged me for the rest of my school years, and yelled at me about it for weeks afterward – for choosing RD as a subject, for writing it in a confusing way that assumed the reader already knew what RD was and who the actors were, for doing a half-arsed job (which was true, I hated home work and my Dad stressing about it made me hate it more).

    I remember him yelling something like “you keep mentioning Starbug what is Starbug?” and I said “the small ship” and he yelled “and how the hell is anyone supposed to know that?”

    #236596

    I did something similar in year 5. Had to present a few minutes on a subject of my choice. I introduced Red Dwarf and what it was, then basically went through and explained each episode in detail. My teacher stopped me before I got too far into that.

    Then we had to do a presentation in year 8 or 9 in English for some sort of media thing, so I again chose Red Dwarf and got permission to show a clip from the show. I used the Backwards then Forwards clip of Arthur Smith shouting and Rimmer and Kryten in Backwards “you are a stupid square headed bald git” etc ….

    There was a little shock that that it had a bit of swearing in it, and my teacher graciously told the class I had gotten permission before hand. Which I had, but not for that specific clip, just a clip in general. I think she just covered her arse and didn’t say anything to me which was nice.

    #236597
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I bought the Duane and Rimmer models and they were delivered and left on my doorstep when I was on holiday. They were nicked when we were burgled. I’m guessing the scumbags when they opened up the parcels.

    I then re-bought them, and made such a mess of painting them that they might as well have been nicked.

    #236958
    tombow
    Participant

    “my reverential just-discovered-nu-metal ones are funnier”

    did you review Korn’s debut? I still remember how much that blew me away

    #236960
    Warbodog
    Participant

    My Korn – Korn review is only notable for my explanation that the song ‘Daddy’ “is about Jon receiving unwanted sexual abuse.” As opposed to the other kind.

    And ‘Good God’ on Life is Peachy is about “drugs in the form of needles.”

    #236963
    tombow
    Participant

    well, he did follow it up with “beat it uptight”, explaining how his idea of consensual but slightly edgy encounters may work.

    #236989
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    >As opposed to the other kind
    Boy have i got a surprise for you

    #237008
    tombow
    Participant

    oh man on Korn it’s that song with the nursery Rhymes when it gets heavy

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