Well, it wasn’t exactly a mask, but, you know. We’ve got a big ol’ transcript and analysis of Celebrities Disfigured; the Channel 4 documentary that aired last Monday, starring Craig Charles as a burns victim. Sorry it took so long; my employers are cunts. Speaking of which, John is away on a training course until Wednesday. He’s finally learning to tie his shoelaces.

You know, typing that convention transcript has really got me in a DJ mood. Let us know if you’re going, and don’t be strangers. In three weeks time, look out for the lanky chap with girly hair and the homosexual Harry Potter.

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