G&TV Special: Swirly Thing Alert

Previously on G&TV, we looked at Smegheads in Seattle, a 1998 production by KCTS 9, Seattle’s local PBS station. They’d arranged a visit from Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules, who came over to be interviewed, take part in pledge drives and meet the show’s many fans in the north-west corner of the US / the south-west corner of Canada. But Smegheads in Seattle was actually the second such programme produced by the station, a sequel of sorts to 1997’s Swirly Thing Alert, which featured much the same content but with Craig joined by Robert Llewellyn instead. Taking place over the 26th and 27th May to coincide with a Series VII marathon, highlights from the weekend’s events were packaged together into a whopping two hour compilation.

Both specials were originally posted to YouTube by a user named Harlz, but they seem to have deleted them both within the last year or so. So we’re now hosting them on our own channel, as well as on the Internet Archive. And if you’ve not seen Swirly Thing Alert before, there is much to unpack. Join us below the embed for analysis and a watch-along guide to some of the highlights (and lowlights).

As with Smegheads in Seattle, it’s a fascinating glimpse of a televisual world that’s miles removed from what we’re used to in the UK. We simply didn’t have Kelsey Grammar and David Hyde Pierce coming over and compelling Channel 4 viewers to send money to keep Frasier on the air over here. And as you can tell from the topics that the boys discuss, it’s a snapshot of a very specific moment in Dwarf history; after Series VII aired but before VIII entered production, with Chris Barrie’s status as a cast member unknown, Rob and Doug’s split still fresh, and Red Dwarf: The Movie just round the corner. Ahem.

The programme is split into distinct sections. After a bit of an introductory section with Craig and Robert on location at the Northwest Folklife Festival – eating hot dogs, confusing babies, demonstrating Riverdance, that sort of thing – they arrive to the studios to rapturous applause from the assembled phone bank operators. Then it’s The Big Interview, conducted by Ken Vincent of Smegheads in Seattle fame, which finds the guys in a happy, playful and quite possibly completely jetlagged mood. We then get highlights from the pledge drive itself, where they answer viewers’ questions put to them via anchorman George Ray (along with a couple of co-hosts who we’ll get to later).

Then, the biggest section is ominously titled THE EVENT, with highlights from two different Q&A sessions at an absolutely huge-looking convention-style… event, organised by the station. It’s just like watching a DJ panel, except that the impeccably polite people of Seattle always refer to the guests as “Mr Charles” and “Mr Llewellyn”. There’s just time at the end for The Little Interview, with Sarah Getz desperately trying to squeeze one last bit of content out of the pair before they depart.

Overall, there’s a fair amount of repetition within this package, with the boys being asked a lot of questions multiple times in different sections, and trotting out anecdotes that are not only hugely familiar to us now, but that are even familiar from within the same programme. But that’s the price you pay for the luxurious two hour running time, painting a hugely detailed picture of Craig and Robert’s time in Seattle, and of the American fandom of the time. Those guys are absolutely adored, particularly Craig, and particularly by women. The pair seem humbled by the adulation at times, but they’re nevertheless on top comedic form throughout, and the homespun charm of US public broadcasting also shines through.

Here are just some of our favourite moments from this two-hour archival gem.

8:08
Robert gives Kryten’s full name as “Kryten 2X4B-52RC”, like a complete idiot.

13.58
In a discussion on other comedy robots, Robert attempts a Marvin impression, but ends up sounding exactly like Neil from The Young Ones instead.

17.11
Nine years after it was published, Craig quotes the notorious City Limits review absolutely verbatim… but then follows up by saying Series 1 only got 500,000 viewers, when it was in fact over 4 million.

33.08
The subject of The Movie is raised.

I think we probably will do one. They’ve raised a lot of the money for it already. The producers and the director, Ed Bye, are absolutely determined. They’ve booked the studios and you know… Officially, we’re doing a series, Series VIII, next year, in about a year’s time, and then after that, in the Fall of next year we’re supposed to be shooting Red Dwarf: The Movie. And also I think they’re going to combine it with a live stage show, where we’re actually trying out some of the dialogue we’ll use in the movie on stage so that we get an audience response and they’ll tighten it up and change it.

35.40
Craig does his joke about aliens reaching Earth and crashing.

36.27

Series VIII will probably be the last TV series, but then they want to make movies. They’ve got like four ideas for big movies to do after that, so the fantasy is that we’ll do the last series and then we’ll do a movie a year until we’re definitely Red Dwarf: The Next Generation!

Bless their hearts.

39.06
Craig once again flirting via the medium of poetry. It seems to work.

40.52
When asked if Rimmer will be coming back, Craig very interestingly gives a completely alternate explanation for why Chris wasn’t in VII – a schedule clash that meant Craig & Chris weren’t available at the same time, so they had to choose which of them would stay for the full run and which would only do half. Considering how candidly Chris has since spoken about his desire to leave after Series VI, this smacks of towing the PR line at a time when everything is much more raw; keeping up appearances while decisions are made about what happens next.

42.01
Craig and Robert magically swap places and the female presenter, Nancy Guppy, is replaced… by Jeff Winger from Community! Joel McHale started his broadcasting career on local television, on shows such as Seattle-based SNL-alike Almost Live! and KCTS’s own Bill Nye the Science Guy. A quick scout round the internet also brings us this later clip of him flogging Swirly Thing Alert based merch, including the actual VHS that we’re watching right now.

49.03
Impromptu Tongue Tied alert. Almost all the right words, not necessarily in the right order.

51.06
Craig bounds onto stage at THE EVENT, filming proceedings on his handycam. Where’s that footage? Seasoned fans will instantly recognise the setting and what they’re wearing, for reasons we’ll come to shortly.

57:13
More poetry, as Craig performs I Want To Feel Your Bum towards a young lady in the audience.

1:04:32
A woman makes a long-winded request to sit on Craig’s lap.

1:05:25
A child asks what ‘smeg’ means, and the guys scuttle off stage on their hands and knees. It’s at this point that we realise that Joel McHale was in Red Dwarf A-Z all along, and nobody noticed!

1:06:44
Somebody starts to ask a question about Rob and Doug splitting up, and a moment of sheer terror is captured in Craig’s eyes.

1:12:53
Craig praises Beyond A Joke in the most sarcastic way possible.

1:14:57
A brief glimpse of an absolutely terrifying Inquisitor costume.

1:18:43
Craig instantly reacts to a female fan’s appearance by saying “a pretty face and a cleavage you can ski down”

1:22:47
Craig instantly reacts to a male fan’s appearance by saying “I want to take you home, beat you up and call you Barbara.” The comic timing on his reply is exemplary.

1:26:36
Apparently they at one point explored the idea of Daleks appearing in Red Dwarf, where they’d be nice “politically correct” Daleks. For once we’re grateful to the Terry Nation estate.

1:29:28
In a recent DwarfCast, we revisited the revelation that on her first day on set, Robert asked Chloe if he could stare at her bum to get it out of his system. Turns out the anecdote was out there all along.

1:30:46
When asked to “improv” a poem, Craig launches into George McGee.

1:39:06
Someone requests that Lister has a nude scene in Series VIII. Be careful what you wish for.

1:54:10
For the second time in this programme, Craig puts the Shipwreck My Soul moves on an interviewer.

1:55:31
Craig does the entire Smart Shoes routine from Queeg, impressively accurately considering it’s been nine years since Series 2 was recorded.

We end on a compilation of stills of the boys eating hot dogs. And why not? The overall feeling we’re left with is one of incredible warmth. They really had a whale of a time out there, and thanks to the endeavours of both the contemporary KCTS team, and the amateur archivists that keep this stuff online, we’re still able to enjoy it vicariously too.