A prediction about The Promised Land

[Spare Hand One]

I predict….

that Talkie Toaster will be in this. Towards the end.

If I’m right, ask me how I worked it out because I will look like a genius. If I’m wrong, let us never speak of this again.

[Dave]

How did you work it out?

[Bowen]

That Rimmer suicide scene & Cat being converted were unbelievably good

[Ben Saunders]

>How did you work it out?
Kryten figured it out.

[Spare Hand One]

Naturally, I will commit suicide immediately.

*puts mouth around bazookoid*

[Ian Symes]

Genuinely interested to hear how you came to that conclusion, though.

[Stephen Abootman]

Alternate ending: Talkie Toaster makes Lister several rounds of toast. He takes his eyes off them for 2 seconds and the cats appear out of nowhere and start licking them. The crew then use this distraction something something…
FIN.

[Spare Hand One]

Genuinely interested to hear how you came to that conclusion, though.

Hi Ian. Many moons ago, I read some fanfic about the “forever righteous” cat ark turning up. It was what it was: fanfic. But it involved a clever idea that all Cat technology is based on Red Dwarf technology. Because it would be, right? It’s where their brains evolved.

When I saw the four-minute preview material from The Promised Land, the little ship that the cat zealots climb into looked (to me) a lot like the post-remastered Blue Midget. Similar hull shape. So I thought “ah, Doug had that same idea.” The way that the cats dress like Lister added a certain credence to this: their culture as well as their technology might be RD-based.

In the fanfic, if I remember correctly, a Cat inventor claims to have a device that will help the Dwarfers get back to Earth faster. It turns out, much to everyone’s disappointment, to be a Talkie Toaster who will help them to pass the time with chirpy breakfast banter. Haha.

Bit of a leap really, but because the fanfic’s punchline was grounded in the idea that Cat technology evolved from RD technology (and because I thought Doug had had the same idea AND because a return of the toaster had been mooted by Doug at conventions over the years) it seemed actually plausible. EVEN INEVITABLE.

Thought I’d Sherlocked it, didn’t I?

[si]

Shitlocked it.

[Spare Hand One]

Correct!

[Ridley]

Oh, in 1976 I did a drawing of a robot and then Star Wars came out. … Who has an umbrella, mate? No-one. Sherlock Holmes has come.

[Spare Hand One]

Oh, in 1976 I did a drawing of a robot and then Star Wars came out. … Who has an umbrella, mate? No-one. Sherlock Holmes has come.

Excuse me?

[Spaceworm Jim]

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. I also had one prediction for the episode, to do with the reason Holly was in it, and it turned out I was wrong.

I’m having fun trying to decipher Ridley’s comment. Is the umbrella thing about it raining CATS and dogs? Ridley should write some lyrics for They Might Be Giants. WHO has an umbrella? WHO. Doctor WHO. Ridley thought the Doctor would turn up? Some sort of intergalactic vet? Did Ridley write the fanfic? I’m deep into this now. Time to pull out and go to sleep. It’s tomorrow now.

[Ridley]

I’ll give it to you straight, like a pear cider that’s made from one hundred percent pears: I don’t own those sentences.

[Spaceworm Jim]

Ohhhhh Stewart Lee! Saw him in Nottingham a few months ago, saying the unsayable. He’s great, I really should look into more of his stuff.

[si]

Ohhhhh Stewart Lee! Saw him in Nottingham a few months ago, saying the unsayable. He’s great, I really should look into more of his stuff.

Do yourself a favour, and buy this and it’s three sequels. You will not regret it.
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/391711569998

[Spaceworm Jim]

Thanks for the suggestion, although I did see these when they went out on TV. I have the first one on DVD, but this is a good time to get 2-4. Cheers!

I made a tiny fool of myself at the merch table when he was signing DVDs and I gave him mine without realising they were still wrapped in plastic. I should’ve made a bigger fool of myself, really, as it would make a vastly more interesting story.

[si]

I saw him a couple of years ago, and bought a DVD while I was there. Found it really odd that it was in a slipcase. As he signed it, I told him about a Fist of Fun book that I’d won 25 years previously, which had included a postcard on which he’d written, “Buy our stuff next time, cheapskate.” (I’ve still got the book, no idea what happened to the postcard.)

[Dave]

Love Stewart Lee. I’ve seen him many times and was looking forward to catching him on his current tour. Shame.

His annotated transcripts of his standup sets are wonderful and I’d also recommend his collections of columns, Content Provider and March Of The Lemmings.

[Author]

Posts