Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum AMERICAN CHOCOLATE IS SHIT

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  • #208105
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    But don’t take my word for it, here’s what I have to say on the matter!

    I’ll be doing a new one of these every week, usually just after I finish shooting an episode of PortsCenter. If you have any suggestions for American chocolate I should subject myself to, feel free to let me know.

    #208106
    Karnie
    Participant

    Good, more for me. ;)

    #208109
    Karnie
    Participant

    I’m sure these are MUCH better…..made in the good ‘ol UK!

    http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/food/novelty/edible-anus-chocolates.asp

    #208110
    Blisschick
    Participant

    Nope, no suggestions. With the exception of Dove, I pretty much agree with that sentiment.

    I could happily eat my weight in Cadbury mini-eggs. Too bad they’re seasonal.

    BTW…Ben, you’re adorable. :)

    #208111
    Blisschick
    Participant

    Thanks, Karnie. I’ll never unsee that.

    #208112
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    They’re not chocolate (which might also be why they’re actually any good), but Payday bars are amazing.

    #208114
    Pecospete666
    Participant
    #208117
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    I did a blind chocolate taste test last year. Because I went to college in Austria for a while, I was able to recognize Lindt, Ritter Sport and Milka by texture and flavor. Hershey’s, Ghirardelli and Godiva, I wasn’t able to recognize, but I could tell they were American because they were, as Ben rightly says, shit.

    Weirdly, Ghirardelli is a division of Lindt, but something about being headquartered in California must make them think they are only allowed to make chalky and sugary products instead of chocolatey ones. Blech.

    #208122
    clem
    Participant

    Payday bars are indeed lush. I also like Tootsie Roll, and Tootsie Pops except the chocolate flavour ones.

    Isn’t it the case that in America they have a chocolate bar called a Milky Way which isn’t the same as a UK Milky Way, and is in fact a UK Mars bar?

    #208125
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Isn’t it the case that in America they have a chocolate bar called a Milky Way which isn’t the same as a UK Milky Way, and is in fact a UK Mars bar?

    Yes, although the nougat is slightly different. And the closest to a UK Milky Way in the US is a 3 Musketeers.

    Basically, when it comes to American confectionery, the chocolate itself is almost uniformly shit, but by gum do they know how to do good things with peanuts/peanut butter.

    #208126
    redhead85
    Participant

    Are Peanut M&Ms American? If so, that’s the only chocolate (apart from Reeces buttercups) that I like from the country!

    #208129
    clem
    Participant

    Oh yeah I forgot about Reese’s. Reese’s Cups and Nutrageous Bars are wonderful. What Seb said sounds about right to me.

    #208130
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    All peanut based chcolate is amazing. I’m all about the Star Bars…

    #208132
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Best Chocolate Bars:

    Topic
    Star Bar
    and the ultimate…
    Twix – it’s two chocolate bars for the price of one! And the King Size version is heavenly!

    #208134
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Twix + tea = chocolate caramel straw. I’ve gone through a 14 pack of singles with one brew. It’s fucking heavenly:)

    #208135
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    In the US, Twix is not hollow in the middle. But the idea sounds brilliant. I’ll try it with Pirouettes. :)

    #208136
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    “Twix + tea = chocolate caramel straw. I’ve gone through a 14 pack of singles with one brew. It’s fucking heavenly:)”

    As of this very second, I’m officially 28 years of age, and I’m soooo doing this as a birthday treat tomorrow!

    #208137
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    Twix is the only chocolate bar with the cookie crunch

    #208140
    Joey TORDFC
    Participant

    I’m a fan of US candy (Runts are the BEST) but not chocolate. Hershey’s smells and tastes a bit….well, poo.

    #208144
    Blisschick
    Participant

    I don’t eat very much chocolate compared to what I used to. I’ll get a bag (my stash), and everyone else will end up eating way more of it than I do, and oddly, that’s okay now. What I’ve really come to love is the chocolate covered cherries from an upper end toy/candy store. The cherries taste exactly like cherry Tootsie Pops, only much, much richer. Sadly, I don’t get them very often.

    Edit: No wonder I like them so much. They’re made by Ghirardelli.

    http://www.ghirardelli.com/store/shop-products/gift/specialty/ghirardelli-milk-chocolate-covered-cherries-1.html

    #208145
    Blisschick
    Participant

    *scratches head*

    Odd…I made a post, then went to edit it, and it went poof. The sidebar said that there were over 2200 replies to this thread. I know I’m up late, but I promise I was not hallucinating.

    #208146
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Don’t get me bloody started on Hershey. Except that I already did, and I filmed it and put it on the internet.

    Leaning towards the next episode of British Candy Authority covering THE GREAT TASTE OF CHARLESTON CHEW.

    #208151
    Tarka Dal
    Participant

    The words “British Candy” alone amuse me.

    #208158
    Karnie
    Participant

    “Twix + tea = chocolate caramel straw.”

    Yeah, that threw me as well =)

    #208159
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    The Aztec’s Chili Chocolate has aphrodisiacal properties! Mostly works on women.

    The original “Spanish Fly”

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #208163
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    That chili chocolate confuses and infuriates me.

    Anyway, filming episode 2 today or tomorrow. Still haven’t decided what to do yet.

    #208164
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    I vote for Godiva. Not just shit, but ridiculously expensive shit.

    http://www.soap.com/p/godiva-dark-chocolate-bar-72-cacao-323623?site=CA&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc_S&utm_term=ZQB-25898B&utm_campaign=GoogleAW&CAWELAID=1323254865&utm_content=pla&adtype=pla&cagpspn=pla

    I really should learn how to do that thing where I replace a url with a word.

    #208165
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Are you doing Chocolate or chocolate flavored candy bars?

    #208166
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Basically all American candy, be it chocolate or otherwise. Though I’m probably going to avoid chocolate that America and Britain have in common, like Kit Kats and Twix and the like.

    #208168
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Mary Jane
    Candy

    caseofcandy.com
    Mary Jane is a peanut butter and molasses flavored taffy-type candy with peanut butter in the center. Originally made in 1914 by The Charles N. Miller Co., and later by Stark Candy Co., it is now manufactured by Necco. Wikipedia

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #208173
    clem
    Participant

    Today I went to Yankee Doodle Candy and got a Zero bar. It’s caramel, peanut and almond nougat covered with white fudge. Very nice.

    #208174
    Jo
    Participant

    “Twix + tea = chocolate caramel straw.”

    “In the US, Twix is not hollow in the middle.”

    Twix isn’t hollow here either, it’s the same theory as a Tim-tam explosion – you suck the tea through the biscuit section. (see Natalie Imbruglia’s explanation/demonstration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMbrlxTIVtI ) I have tried this with Tim-Tams, Penguins, KitKat, Twix and Spira (which *is* hollow).

    While we’re on the subject, i can highly recommend dipping twix into peanut butter, it’s much nicer than the peanut butter Twix that you can buy. Too nice. Addictive. WORTH IT.

    #208176
    Phil
    Participant

    “i can highly recommend dipping twix into peanut butter, it’s much nicer than the peanut butter Twix that you can buy.”

    I’m Phil and I support this message.

    #208179
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I dunno, I do love a peanut butter Twix. Mainly for the chocolate-cookie base that replaces the usual biscuit.

    #208185
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    i can highly recommend dipping twix into peanut butter, it’s much nicer than the peanut butter Twix that you can buy. Too nice. Addictive. WORTH IT.

    Shiiit, i completely forgot about trying this out. Luckily Twix’s are sold in 2-finger packs of 10 here and peanut butter is in abundance :)

    #208194
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    > Twix isn’t hollow here either, it’s the same theory as a Tim-tam explosion – you suck the tea through the biscuit section.

    Jo has just made my tea breaks 200 times better.

    #208197
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    This also works with Penguins, unless that’s what tim-tams are… But Jo introduced me to the ‘corner-removal-straw’ technique and now I have a problem….

    #208198
    si
    Participant

    If anyone’s interested, I finished a bag of diabetic toffee this morning.

    #208200
    Blisschick
    Participant

    I remember my grandma’s diabetic hard candy welded my teeth together. I thought I was going to have to pull them out to get them apart. :/

    #208203
    anniescribe
    Participant

    I don’t care what anyone says, Dark Chocolate Snickers and devil’s food Entenmann doughnuts are the best things ever.

    #208211
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Dark Chocolate Snickers is an exotic delight.

    Sorry, I just can’t think of another… topic.

    #208213
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Don’t mention Topics! They’re… not available in the US.

    #208218
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Oh, Topic’s are fantastic. Poor USA.

    #208219
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I love Topics. Miss ’em terribly.

    #208223
    Jo
    Participant

    “This also works with Penguins, unless that’s what tim-tams are…”

    Tim-Tams are Australian biscuits, very similar to Penguins but a bit bigger.

    #208224
    Jo
    Participant

    “Jo has just made my tea breaks 200 times better.”

    You’re welcome! :-)

    #208292
    Yaron Ru
    Participant

    The good ones are few and far between, but the burger joints are good. I don’t like American candy at all but they know food like my cock knows my hand.

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