Did you see Red Dwarf? – Spoilers!

[Pete Part Three]

You know; on DVD or TV repeat? What was the episode and was it as good/bad as you remember?

Topic

[philmyer92]

Ocean pink because military pink would just look really silly.

[Phil]

>So, who do we reckon shot Mr Ackerman?

I’ve been rewatching that episode a few times over the past couple of days to see if there are any more clues I can pick up on. But each time through I just get more and more disgusted by that scene at the end, where Archie sodomizes the unconscious Ackerman as he’s bent over the sundial, bleeding. Totally unnecessary.

I mean, there’s bad taste…and then there’s BAD TASTE.

[Paul Muller]

“I mean, there?s bad taste?and then there?s BAD TASTE”

Yeah. I’m not sure about rewriting Kryten as some sort of sinister plastic sex offender, especially as they play it for laughs, a la Benny Hill.

And anyway, how do they plan to keep up the subplot, I mean he’s raped EVERYONE.

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

>Yeah. I?m not sure about rewriting Kryten as some sort of sinister plastic sex offender, especially as they play it for laughs, a la Benny Hill.

Now, see, I disagree–I think it’s daring. And since I have disagreed with you on the Internet, I am obliged to tell you that you are, in fact, worse than Hitler and Stalin cubed; further, I must accuse your mother of having socially unacceptable and possibly risky sexual preferences and habits.

Nothing personal, of course; but this is the Internet. I don’t write the rules. And what sort of Internet would we have if we didn’t follow the rules?

[Phil]

I NOMINATE THIS THREAD FOR HALL OF FAME STATUS.

[Tanya Jones]

Do we have a Hall of Fame?

[Andrew]

It’s more of an airing cupboard.

[Pete Part Three]

WOW.

Have just seen the next episode at a special press screening. Quite a high-profile event. I believe the Bracknell Gazette were there so they’ll be quite a bit of coverage in the media, I’m sure.

I don’t want to give anything away in advance of the airing later and in light of that cliff-hanger featuring the Cat and the faulty pooper scooper, but here are some disguised quotes:

“Lister is ****? How the smeg did that happen?”
“We need to get back to ***** before the **** ******”
“Just ***** it up my ****. Yeah, I like it like that”

[Seb Patrick]

Wow, I can’t believe that Doug Naylor is stepping down as showrunner, with Russell Davies taking over. Where do we think Doug will go now? Will he do series two of Jekyll in Moffat’s absence, do you think?

[ChrisM]

That’s just sick. ;)
Not that I’m an RTD hater.

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

>Wow, I can?t believe that Doug Naylor is stepping down as showrunner, with Russell Davies taking over. Where do we think Doug will go now? Will he do series two of Jekyll in Moffat?s absence, do you think?

In retrospect, I should have asked for more time to read the contract. But I signed anyway, ‘cos he said Rose Tyler would be eliminated from canon forever, and nobody would give the Doctor a One Twoo Wuv ever again. I even said to myself, “Hey, he must have something up his sleeve to offer me all this without wanting anything in return”. Really, I ought to have known better. Satan is downright notorious for dishonest dealing.

…Incidentally, does anyone know how to get candle wax, goat’s blood and sulfur stains out of a carpet? It’s really starting to stink in here.

[Pete Part Three]

Woah. I can’t believe they had a scene where the baby T-rex gave Captain Hollister a massage.

[Phil]

*I* can’t believe they had Hollister leave the blindfold on the entire time he was cornholing the baby T-rex, believing he was having anal sex with his sexy new housemaid Carla.

[peas_and_corn]

>And anyway, how do they plan to keep up the subplot, I mean he?s raped EVERYONE.

Ahh yes, and someone decided to make a reference to it in the show-

Lister: Not Chen?
Holly: Yes, Chen, everybody, everybody’s been raped Dave

On another topic, it appears that Jamie Oliver will be the new Holly. Apparently he will be saying “Gordon Bennet” at the beginning of every line, which is concerning.

[Smeg4Brains]

> On another topic, it appears that Jamie Oliver will be the new Holly. Apparently he will be saying ?Gordon Bennet? at the beginning of every line, which is concerning.

Bill Bailey was definitely the best Holly!

[Phil]

>Bill Bailey was definitely the best Holly!

Seconded.

Absolutely positively seconded.

[Paul Muller]

I can just about live with Oliver.

But I still don’t understand why the scripts had to be written in rhyming couplets, it just sounds wierd.

And setting the whole series in a present-day Manhattan publishing house? I’m still not sure about the whole rom-com format, I know it’s being shown on ITV3 but honestly…

[John Hoare]

Is it just me, or is the use of the Corgi ships in the model shots just getting embarrassing now?

[Andrew]

That wasn’t a corgi, it was a dachshund.

[Ian Symes]

It started off a Scottie, and then they remastered it as a dachshund.

[Danny Stephenson]

And called it Colin, an obvious homage to the days of Blackadder. But when the remastering process involved just stretching the screen and altering the colour. But they could’ve tried to do it just on the dog…

[Ben Paddon]

I don’t care what anyone says, I like the film effect. Always have done.

It’s the addition of the Barbra Streisand Spooky-Vision that annoys me the most.

[Seb Patrick]

How fucking brilliant was the musical episode? Ten whole minutes of Blue Midget dancing! And Craig Charles has got a lovely voice – although I thought having Lister do a rendition of “Who’s Got The Crack?” was probably pushing it a bit.

[Ian Symes]

Good to see Tony Hawks returning as Morris Minor, with Kryten and Rimmer as the Majors.

[Dave]

I hope Doug’s been paying attention.

[Phil]

>>Best scene so far? Kryten masturbating into Kochanski?s tea.

I fucking loved this thread.

[Danny Stephenson]

Reading back on this, Bill Bailey seriously would make a good Holly!! And it would give us an excuse to meet him face to face at Dimension Jumps..

[Paul Muller]

Hi guys. Have just heard that the Series XV DVD will contain the full uncut Kryten/Lister blowjob scene, including gagging,vomiting and a remastered cumshot.

[Paul Muller]

Have just read that back and I’m actually disgusted with myself.

[Phil]

I’m excited about the in-character commentary during which Archie fucks Hollister for 28 minutes.

[Paul Muller]

I’m still not sure about the logic behind that scene. I’m not convinced Hollister would Hollister grant Kryten a full pardon in exchange for an hour alone with Archie to test out his new post-sex-change-op vagina.

[Carlito]

To be honest, I think it jumped the shark when they set that entire 24-part series in real time, but on a day when nothing happened. I think they dragged the whole ‘crew catching a good night’s sleep’ arc out at least three episodes too many.

To whomever commented on Craig Charles’ lovely singing voice in the musical episode; well, that was to be expected. After all, he has spawned a previous hit single:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnoaj8b2bGM

Listening to it again, I think that must have been when he was still on the drugs, before he became “straight edge” and got the crosses tattooed on his eyelids.

Also, I know it was inevitable that eventually the ‘no aliens’ rule would be breached after 329 episodes, but seriously, Dennis Rodman? Let’s have something fresh. It just hasn’t been as brimming with new ideas since Iain Lee left the writing team.

[Carlito]

I’m still convinced that’s Craig Charles in the video…

[Seb Patrick]

Okay, so the new season opener – class. I was a bit apprehensive about yet another recasting, but Norman Lovett really was born to play Rimmer; and having Chloe Annett as a female Lister is inspired.

[Mnoooah]

Nightmares for a week. Thanks for that.

[Ben Paddon]

It really does seem like they’re running out of ideas.

Because they had Lister and Rimmer sitting in a room doing nothing for 26 minutes (although Lister did break the silence at around the 7-minute mark by gently coughing).

[Danny Stephenson]

It was a legal issue, that. If someone didn’t break the silence within 10 minutes. John Cage would have sued.

[Stabbim the Skutter]

I’ve just gone back and rewatched Series IX and X, they really were the best by miles, weren’t they?

(Now that BtE has given us two fake series, I felt this topic needed a revival)

[Ian Symes]

Phil:

Missed this week?s due to a collapsed lung. Did they make it back to Earth!?

John:

FUCKING FILM EFFECT FUCK OFF

Pete:

I wish Craig Charles would stop breaking the 4th wall

[pfm]

OH EM GEE

[JamesTC]

I don’t like some of the re-casting in the latest series though I must say Zachary Quinto was born to play Rimmer.

[Ben Paddon]

Casting Robert Picardo as Holly was an inspired move.

[Carlito]

Yeah but I really don’t buy that Lister would be hopelessly in love with Kochanski now that she’s played by Susan Boyle. That’s a bad move.

[Ben Paddon]

Ah, but that was a dream sequence. I reckon they’ve pulled an Ab Fab there. I mean, why else would they’ve had Keith Chegwin playing Kryten?

[Seb Patrick]

I think Iain Lee’s probably the best writer the show’s ever had.

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

So I missed this ep on account of my knees falling out, but I’m watching it on the interweb, and I got a couple of questions. First: It looks like Susan Boyle’s playing Yvonne Magruder now–the whole sequence where she’s mistaken for Kochanski being a product of strong hallucinations from eating crack-laced vindaloo–and I had no idea this was happening. Really, Doug, why all this shameless fad-chasing? It’s just going to date the show horribly within months–that and the Twitter feed of fan input at the bottom of the screen. Ugh.

Besides, all the fansites I follow said Catherine Tate was a dead lock for the role, and honestly, I was kind of looking forward to it and to the projected series-long love pentagon with her, Cat, Rimmer, Lister and Bob the skutter. What the hell? (Incidentally, I’m really intrigued by Mos Def’s slightly sinister turn as Bob the skutter. He brings a real depth, pathos, and moral ambiguity to the role that Alan Cumming, for all his talents, could never quite manage.)

However–Alan Rickman: Great Talkie Toaster, or the best Talkie Toaster ever? I loved the way he killed that bear with his new plasma rifle attachment. That was awesome.

[Ben Paddon]

Honestly, I’m really excited about this series, and I’m not just saying that because I’m on the writing team. A shame that it’s going to be the last series, although we’ll finally have proper closure on the show. Andrew and I were quite annoyed to discover we’d been passed on to write the finale in favour of Forbes Masson, but having read his script (I won’t give anything away, but I will say “Scottish airport” and leave it there…) I think Doug and Linwood have made the right choice.

That said, the decision to make this series 42 episodes in length, airing the episodes two and a half weeks apart on different channels owned by separate companies, is a bit silly.

[Carlito]

> However?Alan Rickman: Great Talkie Toaster, or the best Talkie Toaster ever?

With all due respect: fuck off. The best Talkie Toaster ever was Alan Carr, and you know it. I’m not dissing Rickman… he was better than okay… but Carr made the part his own. Who else could have pulled off an entire Talkie Toaster solo episode? And made it even better than the infamous vending machine two-hander starring the Chuckle Brothers?

[si]

The Dwarf/Hyperdrive crossover episode was fantastic.

[Carlito]

The Dwarf/Green Green Grass crossover episode wasn’t.

[Author]

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