Doug-less

[PhilPagett]

So, if we were to get a new mini-series, let’s say 3 episodes, and Doug decided not to write them (which might not be a bad idea) who would people like to write them in his stead? Please don’t say Rob Grant.

Topic

[Pete Part Three]

My Nan.

[ori-STUDFARM]

The London Jet Juniors

[si]

Terry Pratchett.

[JamesTC]

Iain Lee.

[Jonathan Capps]

> (which might not be a bad idea)

A load of spunking donkeys’ cocks.

[Phil1034]

Fred Barron cos ‘My Family’ is genius.

[Kris Carter]

Ashley Pharoah and Graham Linehan, script edited by Gary Linekar.

[Ben Paddon]

I actually rather like the idea of Pratchett writing Dwarf. Him or Gaiman seem like a good match.

[peas_and_corn]

Tony Martin.

[TheLeen]

Ben Paddon.

[Paul Muller]

We could write it ourselves.

Scene 1: Int. Starbug, Day.

The crew are attacked by Chloe Annett’s foaming twat.

LISTER: This is worse than Series VII, VIII and Back to Earth Pt.2 combined!!

(Studio audience ROARS with laughter.)

Enter Rob Grant. Hushed silence.

DOUG NAYLOR: Rob?

ROB GRANT: I’m back Doug. I promise I’ll never leave you again.

They embrace, then kiss each other hungrily before performing a protracted ten minute long scene of mutual fellatio. They are interrupted by the sudden arrival by teleportation of a suited BBC programming executive.

BBC Executive: Good news everyone! The BBC is once again interested in the kind of audience Red Dwarf attracts, so we’re giving you an indefinite prime-time slot on BBC2.

RIMMER: Better than sex!

KRYTEN prods a button on the psi-scan.

KRYTEN: Picking up another incoming teleport sir!

The Duke of Manchester materialises and produces a suitcase full of cash.

DUKE: I’ve got the money for real this time!!

DOUG & ROB: (In unison) LET’S MAKE A MOVIE!!

GROUP REACTION SHOT.

CREDITS.

Done.

[SkyAndSun]

The crew are attacked by Chloe Annett?s foaming twat.

Isn’t that a clich

[Seb Patrick]

Bob Grant and Doug Taylor

[Stabbim the Skutter]

Paul Alexander

[Ben Paddon]

The Moff.

[PhilPagett]

I second Iain Lee.

[Baz]

Ben Elton and Terry Jones.

[Phil1034]

Ricky Gervais.

[si]

Andrew Ellard and the G&T team.

Can I have a peanut?

[Mr Flibble]

The crew are attacked by Chloe Annett?s foaming twat.

Isn?t that a clich??

If you don’t use protection, nine months later there’ll be a son of clich?.

[Carlito]

Nobody really writes that style of comedy anymore on TV so I can’t think of anyone contemporary. Ben Elton was a good suggestion from a sitcom perspective but maybe not from a sci-fi perspective. Perhaps partnered with somebody with a wilder imagination.

Ben Elton and one of the Who writers? Anthony Horowitz? Somebody from Hyperdrivel? Stumped.

Or somebody brand new and brilliant.

[JamesTC]

Kevin Smith.

[Seb Patrick]

>Ben Elton was a good suggestion from a sitcom perspective

You haven’t seen Blessed, have you?

Elton hasn’t been funny for about twenty years, and even then, it wasn’t usually on his own.

[Seb Patrick]

(not having a go at you, by the way, Carl – I just really, really hate what Ben Elton has become)

[Carlito]

I really liked The Thin Blue Line.

[Phil1034]

David Nobbs and Simon Nye.

[PhilPagett]

So…Doug then?

[Pete Part Three]

>Please don?t say Rob Grant.

Why not, by the way?

[PhilPagett]

>>Please don?t say Rob Grant.

>Why not, by the way?

Because we can take it for granted that we’d ALL like to see him do it. I very much doubt that he would though. If only.

[John Hoare]

I really liked The Thin Blue Line.

Very much this.

[si]

The Thin Blue Line contains one of favourite lines from anything ever:

“It’s my arse on the line, and I don’t want a cock up!”

Class.

[John Hoare]

“It’s my arse, Raymond. And if you stuff it, I’m going to end up very red in the face…”

And:

“It’s my arse, Boyle. So get your finger out.”

I think this qualifies as a full-scale thread derailment. Sorry.

[peas_and_corn]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(comedian)
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0553151/

Anyways, to expand on my two-word vote for Tony Martin…

Essentially the reason why I think Tony will be a great writer (teamed up with Doug) is that he is a very good comedy writer. As his IMDB would show, he has acted, written and directed an incredible amount of material. His knowledge of film history is incredible, and as such he is very good at injecting satire into the works that he does (Bad Eggs and supposedly Boytown confidential… though the latter will never see the light of day). His sense of humour would work very well in Dwarf.

And, of course, he wrote and acted in Rubbery Figures, which is the Australian version of Spitting Image…

[JamesTC]

Se?or Nayloro, Doug’s Mexican equivalent .

[Carlito]

The classic Det Inspector Grim line for me is something along the lines of…

“It’s my backside on the line here, and I do not want your lot making any mistakes, Raymond. Your cock up, my arse!”

[pfm]

> Ricky Gervais.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjlK3hntnAU

Pre-Gervais who held the record for the number of appearances of a British comedian on Letterman? This man – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmt8qmqW-PY

[si]

> Ricky Gervais.

*vomits. a lot*

[Phil1034]

> *vomits. a lot*

To avoid any confusion, my tongue was firmly in my cheek when suggesting the over-hyped chubby one.

[si]

I hoped so.

[J_Spaced]

Wow, did Tony Martin write stuff, before, after, or during the time he served for shooting two young intruders who broke into his home?

[J_Spaced]

Oops, double post. It really wasn’t funny enough to warrant saying once, let alone twice. Erm… Nothing to see here. Move along please.

Except that maybe Bobby Llew and Neil Gaiman should write Red Dwarf?

[hummingbird]

>> Ricky Gervais.

>*vomits. a lot*

This. A lot.

[peas_and_corn]

>Wow, did Tony Martin write stuff, before, after, or during the time he served for shooting two young intruders who broke into his home?

Wrong Tony Martin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(farmer)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(comedian)

[pfm]

IT’S CALLED A JOKE

[Pete Part Three]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

[Author]

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