Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

BITIN’

The Dwarfers are all vampires.

[cwickham]

Fuck my arse we’re on the two hundred and sixty-ninth page

[cwickham]

THE X FILES

New title for We’re Smegged which will appear on the forthcoming DVD release, “The Two Episodes Doug Had to Abandon Because UKTV Didn’t Budget for a Studio Audience Collection”.

[Ridley]

Fuck my arse we’re on the two hundred and sixty-ninth page

TIGHTUN

[applemask]

Two hundred and Nice

[cwickham]

TIMEWAVE

The Dwarfers board a ship, find it is full of people dressed in an unusual fashion, and decide to abandon them all to their deaths because of this.

Nothing that terrible could ever get made in real life, obviously.

[Moonlight]

TIME FOR WAVE 

Kryten and the gang go to Hawaii to catch some surf.

[Dave]

THYME WAIVE

Lister refuses to add another herb or spice to his curries.

[Nick R]

DIME GLAIVE

Rimmer spends 10¢ on a replica bladed pole weapon.

[cwickham]

TAIWANWAVE

All dialogue in Timewave is redubbed by Kerry Shale. Doug is subsequently arrested by Ofcom.

[Nick R]

LIME WAVE

The ship is flooded with citrus fruit juice.

[cwickham]

DINO DNA WAVE

Pete comes back, uses the DNA machine to clone himself hundreds of times, and takes over the ship.

[Moonlight]

SPINE RAVE

After Lister falls into the cargo bay and cracks his spine in three places, Rimmer hosts a party specifically to not invite him to.

[cwickham]

PETE (PART ONE)

[cwickham]

TIMEWANDWAVE

The time wand is washed up on a time wave and is used to bring Pete back. Nobody knows what happens after that as no self-respecting Red Dwarf fan can bring themselves to watch the episode.

[Dave]

PETEWAVE

Red Dwarf gets an increased budget for CGI that allows the T-Rex to move its arms more convincingly. 

[Moonlight]

WAVEWAVE

The crew stumble back and forth across the set as the camera wobbles.

[evilmorwen]

ELEVATOR: MAROONED 2

[tombow]

FINE PAVE

Kryten and Lister have a go baking a flat sourdough loaf

[Moonlight]

TWINE SAVE

Lister discovers the wonders of repairing broken things by tying twine around them.

[cwickham]

KWIKSAVE

A defunct brand of British supermarket washes up on a timewave.

[cwickham]

VINDALUNAR

Some curry and beer floats around for a bit.

[Moonlight]

VINDALOSER

Rimmer thinks of a new insult and beats it into the ground for several episodes.

[cwickham]

VINDABOOZER

Lister has a disproportionate amount of lager with his curry.

[cwickham]

VINDASNOOZER

Lister falls asleep in his curry.

[cwickham]

VINDAHOZIER

Lister listens to an Irish musician whilst eating his curry.

[Nick R]

VINDA NEW SIR

Lister’s curry gets a knighthood.

[cwickham]

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Birdman, but quite a bit older than they remember. Birdman managed to survive the chameleonic microbe and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Birdman makes a death bed confession. It was he who rescued the ship from the chameleonic microbe not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Pete was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with a third dinosaur.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

[Moonlight]

I spent a good 15 seconds waiting for a GIF to load before I realized there was text there the whole time.

[Moonlight]

COCK SAND, RUUUUHHHHH!

This, Lister, is why she said it’s too sandy.

[Moonlight]

MAC MCDONALD HAD A FARM

Dennis conspires to get Lister imprisoned so he can steal his dream of a sheep and a cow.

[Moonlight]

MAC²

Captain Hollister and Dennis the Doughnut Boy are forced to room together after the captain’s quarters is covered in crumbs and pubes, possibly the result of some sort of prank show. Meanwhile, Rimmer runs out of cheap fat jokes and contemplates saying something funny.

[cwickham]

THE SEX FILES

New title for “The Tank” which will appear on the forthcoming release of The Earth Collection with Series VIII Re-Mastered.

[Moonlight]

THE GEX FILES

When a mysterious intruder begins stealing Lister’s dinner every night, Cat blames a talking Gecko called Gex who has the same voice as him, thus providing him an alibi for the repeated cries of “Aaaaooooowwww! I’m gonna eat you little chicky!”

[cwickham]

THE MEX FILES

Spin-off where the hapless Canary investigates unsolved paranormal cases whilst constantly freezing and pausing in time.

[cwickham]

THE REX FILES

Ian Symes gets hold of the script for “Pete (Part One)” and writes an article figuring out which bits were bolted on later to pad out Part Two.

[Moonlight]

THE BECK FILES

Lister discovers a Beck album and gets super into Beck. Special guest star Beck as Beck.

[Nick R]

THE BEX FILES

Lister and Rimmer watch an interview with Jim Bexley Speed, in which he explains his conspiracy theories about aliens. Rimmer agrees with everything he says about aliens, but refuses to admit that he’s in agreement with someone that Lister idolises.

[Unrumble]

THE HEX FILES

An in-depth technical analysis exploring the hologramatic powers of Dr Hildegarde Lanstrom. 

[Nick R]

THE LEXX FILES

Crossover episode in which Lister and Holly meet the characters Craig Charles and Hattie Hayridge played in that one episode of Lexx.

[Frank Smeghammer]

THE PROMISED LAND

Cat gets back to Earth and embarks on a scorched Earth bombing campaign in Fiji to displace native Fijians, claiming it is his ancestral home

Meanwhile Holly and Rimmer play Hologrammatic Soggy Biscuit

[Moonlight]

POLYMORPHKET

Lister makes a killing placing bets on what the polymorph will turn into next.

[Author]

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