It's the fifth anniversary of Trojan's first broadcast tomorrow

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    I didn’t expect we’d get another full series after Back to Earth (and that’s not a comment on the quality of that three-parter, btw), but then Dave went and blew my scepticism out the water.

    Five years and two series later, with a third on the way, Trojan’s looking like even more of a milestone than it was back in 2012. In this spirit of celebration / anticipation for series XII, I just wondered if people had any personal favourite lines, scenes, characters or episodes thus far from the Dave era they’d place in their own head-canon of great Dwarf moments.

    For what it’s worth, here’s my top five:

    5. “The solution is staring you in your stupid, fat, ferrety face” (Back to Earth: Part One). Sophie Winkleman nailed it in her description of Rimmer in this scene as baffled, furious, terror-struck, scared and cowardly. Plus she’s bloody marvellous with her no-nonsense imperiousness.

    4. “If I don’t pick up that phone and make a formal complaint then who will?” (Trojan). I know some of you didn’t like the call centre sub-plot, but for me this scene tied up the plot beautifully.

    3. “Hey, I don’t do the Big Bang!” (Twentica). I’m not that keen on Twentica, but Harmony’s suggestive, scientific specialities speech embodies the ‘wild, ironic humour’ that continues to make the show so appealing to Patrick Stewart. And me, too.

    2. “Slow, slow, slow your blood, Gently as you breath…” (Give & Take). The scary fish bastard robot ((c) Jonathan Capps) may be off his rocker, but he’s only trying to help – albeit making us shit our pants in the process.

    1. “And you’re a baboon, four eyes” (The Beginning). The ultimate in misread interpersonal situations. I laughed so hard I nearly puked, I really did.


    International Debris

    Cat guessing about the moose was the moment I realised that the show was capable of creating new classic moments. The fact that him simply walking into the room got a laugh gave a sense of relief that the character stuff was completely on point again.

    “It turned into a jacket”. Giant death worm is excellent, but the jacket line, and the utter desperation in Lister’s voice as he suggests it, justifies all the other shit in Dear Dave for me.

    Kryten presenting a pencil sharpener as a potential weapon in The Beginning.

    Kryten walking up and down to rev himself up in Twentica.




    Give & Take is the high point of the Dave era, for me. That episode is the one that most feels like classic Red Dwarf. I’ll be very happy if anything in XII manages to be as good.



    The Moose gag, and the punch line with Cat guessing and Danny’s delivery was absolutely phenomenal.

    I was in the audience for that, and you could tell every was excited to be there but a bit apprehensive for what we might get. When that scene happened, relatively early on in the recording, you could sort of feel the tension in the room lift as every burst out laughing and relax, knowing that the Red Dwarf everyone had been hoping for was back.

    Sure Dave era will, for many, not live up to the first 36 … but man they have been giving it a pretty strong go.

    Re Give and Take … I absolutely love the start, and I love how it concludes, but the 10min bit in the middle with Lister just sat in a hospital bed … the way it’s written and shot just feels like your typical audience sit-com and very undwarfy to me.

    Other than that it is a cracking episode.

    As for personal favourite moments … it’s hard to pick. Lister talking to his dad/himself is up there, as is the “jesus” – “yes” line in Lemons … although that had been spoiled for weeks in trailers.


    Pete Part Three

    Oh, go on then;

    5. The charades scene in Dear Dave. A bizarrely bright spot in a horrendous episode.

    4. The face-off between Rimmer, Kryten and Lister x3 in Can of Worms. The slow reveal is perfect, and the execution is great.

    3. Butler.

    2. Cat walking past the doorway in Trojan. Utterly daft, but the funniest thing Cat’s done in twenty years.

    1. All of Give & Take.



    I was very proud in Dear Dave when Doug showed he wasn’t afraid to add to the pre-Dwarf stories of the crew.

    And very proud in The Beginning when he showed he wasn’t afraid to do it in a crappy manner.

    And EXTREMELY proud when that one guy found a picture of a Toaster That Says Smeg online.



    I remember finding the Moose gag funny when i first watched trojan but i find it doesn’t quite hold up in repeated viewings when you know its coming.



    Dax – it definitely works much better on first viewing. Although seeing it recorded and then seeing it broadcast a year later had me in stitches both times. But now it’s the deliver and the anticipation of knowing what is coming that gets me every time. Maybe not rolling on the floor laughing, but certainly giggling like a little girl.



    I had an absolute riot with Trojan the first time I watched it and though it has some flaws, it still has some of my favourite jokes of the Dave era. The model shot/towing joke, Cat walking past the doorway and the “no we just hosed him down and gave him a hat” which I must have watched about 10 times in a row after finishing Trojan for the first time.



    I drove my smart car in the rain to my sister’s house listening to blur’s 13 reissue to watch Trojan with my sister and her husband. We laughed a lot and I was pumped as I drove home to catch the live reaction Dwarfcast.

    I watched Twentica alone on my phone and didn’t laugh out loud at all. I think there’s a lesson here somewhere but Trojan was an amazing event definitely. Series X was sort of announced at the 2009 Dimension Jump so it was a three year hype that didn’t disappoint for me.



    1. No we just hosed him down and gave him a hat.
    2. Mad Goth Bastard.
    3. Kevin Eldon.
    4. Butler
    5. It turns out Rimmer worked for Oak Furnitureland when he was younger.



    Glad it’s not just me who can’t separate the Oak Furnitureland ads from the show. Canon.



    “You’re a big, big disappointment to me, David” is one of my favourite lines of the whole Dave era.



    Definitely a date that sticks in my mind, can it really be half a decade ago already?

    I’m still extremely fond of Trojan as it totally exceeded my expectations (which, admittedly, were fairly low). Watching it for the first time, I felt the same excitement as I did for Psirens, which was the last series opener I didn’t find utterly dispiriting. More than any other episode in the Dave era, Trojan reminds me of those heady early ’90s days – it’s not my favourite, but I can’t shake that feeling.

    Anyway, list (off the top of my head):

    1. Moose (I find it gets funnier when you know its coming)
    2. “We’re in search of Lemons in general”
    3. Give and Take in general
    4. “You are very handsome” (but not Can of Worms in general)
    5. That moment in Officer Rimmer where Rimmer chucks champagne over his bioprinted clone to stop him getting in the lift and then drains the glass. Pure Rimmery goodness.
    6. Just thought of another – at the end of Krysis, the line about all being in the same boat, and even though the boat has a hole in it, “at least we get to see the sea”. I think it’s Lister’s perplexed face that does it for me.



    I’m not sure quite how to order these, so I’ll just list off some of my favorite bits as best as I can remember off the top of my head:

    The scene at Kochanski’s grave. Lister’s emotional journey throughout BtE is fantastic.

    “A giant testicle shoots out of the water and grabs me by the throat!” “He means tentacle.” “I hope so.”

    “Solution is staring you in your stupid, fat, ferrety face.”

    The effect when Rimmer is shut off into his light bee before being thrown into the portal. It’s such a beautiful effect, and the one in the XII trailer doesn’t look quite as good.

    “That’s Star Trek!”

    Rimmer pelvic thrusting into the corner of the table.

    Kochanski showing up to tempt Lister into staying behind. This actually made me tear up the last time I watched it, which had never happened before.

    “But you’re an utter TWAT!”

    “No, we just hosed him down and gave him a hat.”

    Double Lister scene, obviously.

    “A guy about your look, your height who goes by the name of you.”

    The Beginning’s climactic scene, and Rimmer’s struggle leading up to it.

    “And you’re a baboon, four eyes!”

    “Of course he’s moaning! He’s just been shot!”

    The opening bunkroom scene of Samsara.

    “About the same odds as being killed by a tangerine.”

    Asclepius and Snacky.

    Basically the entirety of Officer Rimmer (save for the messy ending), especially the bio-printer. It’s proved to be my absolute favorite of the Dave era so far.

    Kryten’s emotional journey in Krysis, which rings a lot truer to me than it seems to for a lot of better. I see his talking about love giving life meaning to be about how he’s made meaning for himself through his relationships with the Dwarfers, even if he hasn’t created great art and chased his own musings the way Butler has. I don’t see it as the generic sappy affectation many seem to.

    Kryten spinning around while keeping his head straight. It’s wonderful in how pointlessly flashy it is.

    Rimmer’s joy at how poorly the one other boy from his class grew up to do, even compared to him.

    “Sorry, sat on a screwdriver.”

    The idea of the Polymorphlings shape-shifting into tumors as a defense mechanism. Really clever concept, like something you would’ve seen in Better Than Life (the novel).

    The triple Mexican stand-off.



    Interesting. If I was comping a list of the lamest moments from BtE onwards, some of my offerings would be the same as your examples of the best moments. The whole moose sequence left me completely cold.

    If we are suggesting worse moments: “Einstein was wrong. It is possible to break the speed of light.” That one actually made my heart hurt. And it got a laugh. “That’s not a human, that’s lister” is smarter and funnier, but not a titter.

    Yeah I know if we all found the same things funny the world would be a much more boring yada yada… but still…


    Ben Saunders

    Yeah, there are a couple moments listed here as faves that just leave me thinking… THAT’S your favourite moment from Dave Dwarf?! What a world.

    Moose is great, obviously. And Kryten explaining the ERRA institute I really appreciated, as well as Rimmer turning softlight.


    International Debris

    Oh yes, Kryten’s huge explanation of ERRA being totally undermined by his “no” was another one of those jokes that made me laugh a lot and also felt totally in keeping with IV-VI era.



    Yep. Love the ERRA explanation. One of my favourite X moments. Really felt like old Dwarf.



    >>”Yeah, there are a couple moments listed here as faves that just leave me thinking… THAT’S your favourite moment from Dave Dwarf?! What a world.

    Moose is great, obviously. And Kryten explaining the ERRA institute I really appreciated, as well as Rimmer turning softlight.”<<

    Hose that man down and give him a hat.



    Dave Dwarf. Cat wondering past the door with the map.

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