Lines That Don't Really Make Sense

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  • #233953

    bloodteller

    What are some lines in Red Dwarf that you don’t think make sense?

    Two I can think of are in Meltdown when Kryten states the matter paddle “converts an individual into digital information and then transmits him as light beams to another point in space” which would logically mean they travel at the speed of light. Yet they then go to a planet that’s 200,000 light years away and arrive in a matter of seconds.

    The other one is in Demons and Angels when Kryten says “I think we can produce four, perhaps even five strawberries a week!”. How would you end up with five strawberries at any point if you’re using a triplicating device?

    #233955

    Ben Saunders

    Normal Strawberry 1 (one strawberry)
    High Strawberry 1 – Normal Strawberry 1 – Low Strawberry 1 (two new strawberries)
    High Strawberry 2 – Normal Strawberry 1 – Low Strawberry 2 (two new strawberries)

    That makes five, doesn’t it? Question is how do you end up with four. And what happens if you triplicate the High Strawberry, do you get two good ones and a normal one?

    This rate of strawberry production is unrealistically slow given what we explicitly see in the episode, so it’s possible that Kryten was Doing A Joke.

    #233956

    Taiwan Tony

    Re the strawberry. Don’t they rely on already having one to make three?
    One makes three
    Of those three, one makes another three
    Total number of strawberries = 5 strawberries produced + the original strawberry.

    #233957

    Taiwan Tony

    Must have started that before 6:28 pm

    #233959

    Ben Saunders

    One makes two more (3 total)
    You put one of the 3 you now have into the triplicator which makes another 2
    1 + 2 + 2 = 5
    Unless I’m missing something

    #233963

    bloodteller

    since Kryten says “I think we can produce…” i wasn’t counting the original strawberry they started with, since they didn’t make it themselves.

    #233965

    Taiwan Tony

    … Yes…?

    #233967

    bloodteller

    yeah, so you can’t produce five strawberries

    #233968

    Dave

    They wouldn’t even be in that position if Kryten hadn’t recklessly chucked all those fresh strawberries in the bin in The Last Day.

    #233971

    flanl3

    If they just keep triplicating high strawberries, they only get one high strawberry and no low, so five is reachable.

    Another possible conclusion is that the machine can run about 5 times every 14 days, averaging to 5 new strawberries/week.

    #233972

    flanl3

    Why don’t they just triplicate a whole fucking pile of strawberries though?

    #233973

    Hamish

    > They wouldn’t even be in that position if Kryten hadn’t recklessly chucked all those fresh strawberries in the bin in The Last Day.

    Yeah, that scene always makes me cringe.

    #233975

    International Debris

    Given that it produces pairs then yes, it can only ‘produce’ two, four, six, etc. strawberries. The line should really be ‘four, perhaps even six’.

    #233978

    bloodteller

    >> They wouldn’t even be in that position if Kryten hadn’t recklessly chucked all those fresh strawberries in the bin in The Last Day.
    >Yeah, that scene always makes me cringe.

    i never quite got what Kryten was trying to accomplish here, tbh. is he deliberately trying to taunt Lister by throwing it away while loudly declaring all the delicious food that’s going to go to waste? that doesn’t seem like something Kryten would do, especially not in Series 3. but even so, once he’s thrown it away what does he expect will happen? did he want Lister to go and pick it out of the bin? Kryten is a dick

    #233981

    Ben Paddon

    I think he’s just having fun.

    #233982

    Warbodog

    I love that glimpse of frustration in the “bon appetit, bin” scene, like all his sarcastic digs at Cat’s stupid remarks in V and his letting rip to Rimmer at the end of White Hole. Much prefer it to the satisfied servant of Krysis et al.

    #233983

    Ben Saunders

    I was counting the original strawberry, making the total number of strawberries 1, 3, 5, 7, etc. Of course I realise now that Kryten said “produce” and not “have”, which means, yes, it will be even numbers of produced strawberries.

    #233984

    flanl3

    Did nobody read my comment? Five strawberries/wk could obviously be reached with 10 strawberries every two weeks – it’s an average, not completely literal “exactly five strawberries every single week”

    #233985

    PFMC84

    If the items triplicated had a limited lifespan, what was the point of it at all? If they triplicated a load of food in one go, and only ate the high portion, would it disappear after being eaten leaving the person who ate them hungry as their stomach would be empty?

    #233986

    Plastic Percy

    Perhaps the next step in Kryten and Lister’s experiment was a method to stabilise the process.

    #233987

    Warbodog

    That’s always bothered me too, it feels like the strawberries intro was written before they came up with the near-real-time lifespan to enhance + resolve the peril.

    #233990

    International Debris

    Yeah, I always just assumed it was something they were hoping to iron out at some point, as it was all still at the experimental stage.

    #233991

    bloodteller

    >That’s always bothered me too, it feels like the strawberries intro was written before they came up with the near-real-time lifespan to enhance + resolve the peril.

    the whole intro scene in Demons and Angels is a bit weird anyway. Rimmer being all snidey and making remarks about how stupid Lister and Kryten are-why? they’ve built a fully-functional triplicator which is a pretty impressive scientific feat as well as just generally being really useful.

    I guess it’s not out of character for Rimmer to be a bit dismissive and ignorant, but there’s no real reason for it here. Lister and Kryten have created something cool and his immediate response is to shit all over their lives without hesitation

    #233994

    quinn_drummer

    Rimmer is taking out his insecurities of being crap at everything on the people that he knows deep down are better than him, by shitting all over their genius invention.

    He does this sort of thing all the time. He is constantly putting Kryten down, dismissing him is a toilet cleaning android, when its plane as day that without Kryten the crew would be a bit fucked.

    Same goes for Lister. Rimmer outranks him by 1 tiny little rung on the ladder, yet Lister proves time and again to be much more competent at just about everything. It goes back as far as the opening scene of the show

    “is this a 14b Lister, does it look remotely like a 14b” … when in actual fact it IS a 14b Lister handed him.

    He bullies people to make up for the fact he’ll never be as good as them.

    #233996

    Plastic Percy

    True. Despite what Rimmer might think, if there is a captain of Red Dwarf post-accident, it’s Lister.

    In regards to the 14b/14f line, I always took that as Rimmer being a complete anal retentive about the correct type of pipe cleaner to use for cleaning a soup nozzle, when even he knows that they are indistinguishable and make no difference whatsoever.

    #234001

    quinn_drummer

    In regards to the 14b/14f line, I always took that as Rimmer being a complete anal retentive about the correct type of pipe cleaner to use for cleaning a soup nozzle, when even he knows that they are indistinguishable and make no difference whatsoever.

    I mean, possibly. I’ve always seen it though, considering he puts back the one he picks up, that Lister was right in the first place and had given him the correct one. Otherwise I’d have thought Rimmer would use the 14f he picked up just to make a point, even though it is no different to a 14b

    #234002

    International Debris

    To be honest, I’d put the opening of Demons & Angels down as absolute classic Rimmer: finding a tiny flaw in something otherwise amazing and using it to try make himself look big and clever, whilst actually revealing himself as an ignorant idiot.

    #234005

    bloodteller

    the Triplicator is a pretty amazing invention, but how does it work? Lister and Kryten didn’t deliberately create it to extract the best and worst elements out of an object, so how does the machine know what’s good and bad?

    it’s moral compass is odd as well- why is karaoke music on the low ship? karaoke is fun

    #234008

    Taiwan Tony

    Satire!
    (Pot Noodles are quite nice.)

    #234009

    Dave

    I’m starting to think Rob Grant and Doug Naylor didn’t even know themselves exactly how the triplicator worked.

    #234011

    Pete Part Three

    Rob did, but he’s not telling Doug.

    #234012

    bloodteller

    what happens if you try to triplicate Timewave? presumably you wouldn’t get a High copy, but what is Low Timewave like? these are the real questions

    #234013

    Dave

    It’s like being on holiday with a group of Germans.

    #234014

    Ben Saunders

    It’s like being at an Amish bachelor party

    #234015

    Taiwan Tony

    It’s like a Scotsman eating a banana.

    #234038

    International Debris

    I refuse to believe that Dave “last night’s flat lager” Lister finds Pot Noodles below him.

    #234040

    Ben Paddon

    That’s the joke though, surely; that Pot Noodles are so bad that even Lister, a man who eats garbage, will not touch Pot Noodles.

    #234042

    International Debris

    I suppose I find it hard to really believe because Pot Noodles aren’t that bad.

    #234043

    Ben Saunders

    They’re pretty low on the tier of foods, but I’ll eat one every now and then and think it’s ok
    I used to like them

    #234050

    Hamish

    The biggest mistake people make is just eating instant noodles on their own. Like with any soup what you add to it is key.

    #234052

    International Debris

    Pot Noodles aren’t really like that anyway, are they? They have a lot of flavour, packet of sauce, bits of veg etc. in them. Your bog standard packet noodles are different though, eating them on their own is a pretty grim meal.

    #234053

    bloodteller

    i was talking with an american friend of mine about Red Dwarf a while ago and the Pot Noodle joke got brought up. it turns out that when he watched it, he thought “pot noodle” was some futuristic kind of noodles that contained marijuana, as they apparently don’t have Pot Noodle in america? so i guess that line is taken completely differently over there

    presumably why it’s “Cup-A-Noodle” in the US Pilot.

    #234056

    Hamish

    Every country has its own instant noodle brands, basically. Mr. Noodle being the most common one here in Canada.

    #234090

    Ben Paddon

    When I bring up Pot Noodle to Americans, they invariably understand what I’m talking about. You have to make weird logical leaps to go into the weed place.

    #234091

    Timewave Part Two

    As an American when I heard the Pot Noodle line, I thought of the Maruchan Instant Lunch things we have here.

    #234097

    Ben Paddon

    That’s the ones, yes.

    #234108

    tombow

    Judas the traitor and Thomas the twin are different apostles.

    #234114

    bloodteller

    eh?

    #234118

    tombow

    In the Jesus stories of our universe, Judas Iscariot the traitor and Thomas the rumoured twin are 2 different disciples.

    #234122

    Plastic Percy

    They can play around with the facts of Biblical characters as the Bible isn’t exactly a peer-reviewed objective piece of writing with substantiated sources.

    #234128

    Dave

    Also, that missing first page that was found, in the Better Than Life news report, rather makes the whole thing meaningless.

    #234269

    Pete Part Three

    Argh: this is shit:

    LISTER :You think all this sciency stuff’s really interesting, don’t you? I bet,at school, you were always the one with the right coloured pencils, and the impossibly neat handwriting. I bet even now you can probably tell us the average rainfall of the oil-rich coastal low-lands of Venezuela…

    KOCHANSKI: No I couldn’t, I’ve no idea…Okay, three point four inches, so what?

    Awful. Lister plucks a ridiculously obscure and verbose question out of his arse, and Kochanski answers it. She’s not doing it to be “funny”. She genuinely knows this obscure fact. Crap comedy dialogue. GAH.

    #234279

    Dave

    Plus, she’s wrong, it’s actually three point six.

    #234369

    tombow

    I had an idea for Timeslides. Holly didn’t actually bring Rimmer back to keep Lister sane, that was a lie he told to save face. He actually bought Rimmer because he needed help with the nitty gritty of the ship after turning around and Rimmer, despite his low esteem and mistakes, is the only crew member who knows where every plate goes etc. That’s why Rimmer remains in the “Lister got rich” timeline.

    #234371

    bloodteller

    i always found it kind of cute how in the “Rich Lister” timeline in Timeslides, Holly still kept Rimmer around- out of a crew of 1,169 they could choose from, Rimmer of all people they choose to bring back. either she actually liked Rimmer (unlikely) or it was just that he’s good for making fun of and pissing off. either way it’s kind of sweet

    #234561

    Pete Part Three

    Nanarchy. This is a bit long-winded:

    KRYTEN : When we were on the Esperanto, just before we met the Despair Squid.

    LISTER: That was ages ago; before we lost the Dwarf.

    KRYTEN: That’s why I’ve given up hope of ever finding them.

    LISTER : Let’s set a course back to the Esperanto.

    [a scene or two later]

    LISTER: Hang on a minute, we’re not there… where the smeg are we?

    KOCHANSKI: The computer’s brought us out of Deep Sleep early, it must have picked up something.

    […]

    KRYTEN : If you look to the port side, sir, that planet in the distance is the ocean world where we discovered the Esperanto.

    LISTER: That was just before we lost Red Dwarf…

    This scene is really clunky. The crew have set a course back to the Esperanto (we’ll overlook the fact that that was over 200 years away, and essentially means they’re giving up hope of ever finding Red Dwarf, or a way back to Kochanski’s dimension). They mistakenly believe they’ve been brought out of deep sleep early because Lister doesn’t know where they are… and then Kryten points out that the Ocean World (and thus the Esperanto) is in the distance. And Lister ponders the fact that this was just before they lost Red Dwarf, as if this is new information…but it’s the exact bloody reason they’re there.

    Oh, and while I’m here:

    LISTER: So Red Dwarf spent the last two years exploring strange new worlds in my laundry basket?

    So, this two years would appear to be (most of) the the duration of Series VII. The crew seem to lose track of Red Dwarf around Rimmerworld/ Out of Time so Lister/Doug seems to be proposing that Nanarchy is two years *after* that (presumably discounting the time spent in deep sleep). Is this to allow the 18 months in the Ourborous flash-forward?

    Not saying it doesn’t make sense, just mildly interesting.

    #234566

    International Debris

    Yeah, VII seems to take place over two years. I’d imagine by that point, Kochanski had given up of ever getting back.

    Meanwhile, in her dimension, Lister is still living without Kochanski and incredibly depressed and keeps trying to kill his holo-self. Fun.

    #234568

    bloodteller

    i always imagined that in Kochanski’s dimension after losing her, a version of Rimmer somehow joined the team. because it’s a parallel universe, innit?

    in the regular Red Dwarf world, they lose Rimmer and soon gain a Kochanski, so it made sense to me that in the parallel world when they lose Kochanski they gain a Rimmer. equivalent exchange

    #234570

    Ben Saunders

    My memory is really vague here but isn’t there a line in either VII or VIII which states that something that happened six series ago happened “five years ago”? I always thought that was a little short (for no real reason I assumed one series = one year), but the line in question is in VIII then that makes the timescale of the adventures even shorter.

    #234571

    Ben Saunders

    Also, a Rimmer from another parallel dimension suddenly joining the alt-crew at ’round about the same time is a bit neat – a bit like the Mirror, Mirror universe in Star Trek – where everything and everyone is completely different/evil, several key events all play out differently, and yet somehow everything is still vaguely the same and everyone is in the same place/rank whenever the two universe intersect. What happened to the butterfly effect?

    #234575

    bloodteller

    >My memory is really vague here but isn’t there a line in either VII or VIII which states that something that happened six series ago happened “five years ago”? I always thought that was a little short (for no real reason I assumed one series = one year), but the line in question is in VIII then that makes the timescale of the adventures even shorter.

    in Back In The Red, Lister says he’s been away for “five or six years, not counting Stasis.” which fits with established continuity as in Holoship it’s been “nearly four years” and by Out Of Time it’s been a full “four long years” and so if you add the two years VII takes place over, it adds up to six.

    #234577

    Ben Saunders

    Nice. Well at least they’re consistent.

    #234579

    flanl3

    It’s weird to think about, but VI really does take place over just a couple of weeks, maybe a month, doesn’t it? From the characters’ perspective, of course, not on an absolute timeline.

    #234580

    Warbodog

    It feels like they’ve been on Starbug for months, even a year by Out of Time for the morale meeting to work. But it could be a lot shorter based on them already running out of supplies by Legion and losing everything in Emohawk. But they were restocking miraculously preserved supplies from derelicts all over the place in that annoyingly crowded region of space anyway.

    #234581

    Ben Saunders

    Makes space seem even more crowded if it all happens within the space of a fortnight

    #234582

    Warbodog

    You could watch nearly all early-90s Red Dwarf and not be aware that they’re supposed to be in the extremely distant future extremely far from Earth. I won’t have realised it until I read the book.

    They mention millions of years in Psirens a couple of times (ice ages, three million years on the clock), but outside of that, I don’t think it’s mentioned at all in V & VI (maybe it is). Closest I can recall is the wax droids mentioning it in Meltdown.

    #234584

    International Debris

    I always assumed VI took place over a relatively short space of time – maybe the six weeks it took to broadcast at most.

    #234596

    Plastic Percy

    There’s a mention in ‘Legion’ that Lister found the peanuts he’s eating in the jacket of a corpse they found a couple of months back, so there’s at least eight weeks gap between that and ‘Psirens’.

    Also, it wouldn’t necessarily take them 200 years to get back to the Esperanto as in the previous episode Epideme gave them the ability to increase Starbug’s speed by 300%.

    #234598

    Warbodog

    The Christmas/liquid beast reference in Out of Time also feels like it’s about something that happened quite a while ago during their current predicament, rather than on Red Dwarf around 200 Christmases ago. It could have been more recently and Lister just didn’t notice the date, I guess.

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