Star Trek Crap

[Warbodog]

Sorry to lower the tone and for being so early in the morning. But if you’re a fan of ageing sci-fi franchises generally, or a fan of complaining about them, here are some things going on with Star Trek at the moment:

– Star Trek: Short Treks. Out Now! 4 x short episodes (10-15 mins) being released once a month before Discovery returns. Minimal and supplemental, but proper stories rather than DVD-padding minisodes. The second one (Calypso) is the most Trek has intrigued me since the 90s, written by Michael Chabon. I don’t know where you can watch these where you live.

– Discovery season 2 starts in January. Hope it’s good. I found S1 watchable and they’ve already concluded (abandoned) the war arc I didn’t like. Fan service tends to repel rather than attract me, but I have a soft spot for the ‘lost’ Captain Pike era (I probably watched ‘The Cage’ more than any other episode as a kid), so I’m more interested to see their take on that vaguely-defined crew than watching another reboot of Kirk & co.

– Star Trek: Lower Decks. An adult animated sitcom in development focusing on the humdrum lives of Starfleet technicians. Creator Mike McMahan explains, “I want to do a show about the people who put the yellow cartridge in the food replicator so a banana can come out the other end.” Where do they get their crazy ideas from? Maybe the same places Rob and Doug did, it’s not that similar really.

– Picard series in development starring Patrick Stewart. I didn’t find this announcement exciting, because I prefer new things, but I just found out Michael Chabon’s on the writing team, which will help. Excitement may come as details are released.

– Various rumours about other shows or miniseries invariably centred around existing characters and concepts, but I don’t think anything’s been confirmed and may all be uninteresting clickbait.

– Reboot Star Trek 4 is supposedly stuck in development hell, and something about a weird Tarantino proposal. I don’t care about the films any more.

But never mind that tot – best Trek film? I’d probably go with VI, because I love how timely its analogy is at the end of an era, but 1-IV are all classics or comfort watches in their own ways.

Topic

[Ben Saunders]

Nemesis has some real nice Star Trek moments and characterisation in it, but it is so unrelentingly cruel and unnecessarily bleak, everything is so dingy and dark and violent, it just isn’t Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Stewart had a lot of involvement and it was written by Brent Spiner’s mate, so they had a big hand in it, yes. But ugh, you feel like you need to take a shower after watching that movie.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

It was also directed by someone that had never seen Star Trek before and didn’t understand it at all. So lots of important character moments and such are cut out.

[(deleted)]

A lot of the criticism of Nemesis comes down to how unfamiliar with Star Trek Stuart Baird was – a few of the cast have been exceptionally bitchy on this score. But given that virtually all the criticisms of Insurrection correctly focused in on the point that it was too obviously the product of a well-oiled clique of tired creatives all giving it More Of The Same (TM), then bringing in newcomers was literally the only solution to that. I agree that the tone of the film is unpalatably nasty and that it’s downright dull in places, but none of these are the fault of the fact the director wasn’t a chummy veteran of a hacky production line already on the bones of its arse. A few more cringey comedy set pieces with the regular cast members wouldn’t have undone the fact that the public were bored of Star Trek and its ubiquity, and that 15 years down the line TNG had not only outstayed its welcome but was too evidently pleased with itself to a slappable degree. A truly noble failure is worth ten mediocre minor hits, and it *was* a noble failure, which Insurrection and Enterprise weren’t. There are only two hours of Star Trek that resemble Nemesis, and about a million hours of the version people say it should have been more like. In a world where the same Marvel film comes out every three months with the title changed we have to cherish the idea of franchises leaving their comfort zone once in a while. Even if – especially if – it doesn’t work.

[(deleted)]

There is a much longer 3 hour rough cut of Nemesis with a lot more character stuff and humour, and apparently it’s much worse than the one that came out.

I suppose the big issue with Nemesis now is that virtually every action, horror, scifi and fantasy film from about 98-04 shares an aesthetic that looks laughably cheap, naff, small and thoroughly unappealing now. From when they were starting to do a lot more digital grading to push more extreme and high contrast photographic looks and it’s just ridiculously amateurish to modern eyes. And Nemesis definitely has that Blade/Underworld-esque shiteyness to its look…

[Ben Saunders]

Insurrection is one of the most blatant and egregious male power fantasy movies of all time in parts, Jonathan Frakes clearly loves himself and depicts himself as this sexy space badass, with his manual control column and that female ensign who looks at him like he just flooded her underwear. It’s almost grotesque.

It also has more than a few logical issues and turns into C-grade action schlock towards the end with the villain, the explosions, the “we’re getting too old for this” and the “time’s up”.

[Veni]

So I finally got around to watching Nemesis and… I enjoyed it. I don’t know exactly how to express why I liked it, but me being a viewer of purely the films (and not even all of them) I think it helped I wasn’t attached to anyone apart from Picard and Data. I don’t know though, I have the least to say about this one but I had fun.

[Ben Saunders]

Troi getting RAPED and then told to keep doing her job is horrendous

[Veni]

That… kinda went past me. Huh. Dampens my vibe now when you think about it.

[Ben Saunders]

PICARD: Deanna, can you describe it?
TROI: It was a… It was a violation. …Shinzon’s Viceroy seems to have the ability to reach into my thoughts. I’ve become a liability. I request to be relieved of my duties.
PICARD: Permission denied. If you can endure more of these assaults, I need you at my side now, more than ever. The Enterprise is far from Federation space and…

IF YOU CAN ENDURE MORE OF THESE ASSAULTS

That’s just part of the deeply unpleasant seediness than underpins Nemesis. It does have some nice moments, and overall I think it’s ok, but as a Star Trek: The Next Generation movie, particularly the final one… it’s just so yucky.

[Warbodog]

Luxury. When I were lad, had to pay t’ £12.99 RRP for 88 minutes of episodes (including credits) in sub-SD quality that sadistically deteriorated the more you watched it.

Still, at least they paid attention to the artwork to make the videos worth collecting, like this lovely one where the bluescreen background isn’t filled in and this one that uses a rehearsal shot.

The re-released videos were better value (£9.99 for 3 or 4 episodes) and nicer, but that was a dark time when for a while the only TNG and Red Dwarf you could buy or see on terrestrial TV was the weaker seasons. By the time they were re-releasing the stronger seasons, I wasn’t buying videos any more.

I hope Red Dwarf in HD is released for legal paid download in obscure foreign territories, I don’t have a Blu-ray player and don’t like physical belongings any more.

[Author]

Replies