Why did Rimmer wear boxing gloves in bed?

[jellyscare]

This is mentioned a couple of times throughout Red Dwarf, most prominently in Timeslides, I think. But I don’t really understand why he did it. What’s the purpose?

Topic

[Ian Symes]

To stop him wanking.

[srmcd1]

Probably to defend himself. Imagine being a young Bonehead and living under constant threat of wedgies and pink bellies in Io House.

Pity they didn’t protect him from whatever creep was taking pictures of young boys while they slept…

[Ian Symes]

No, it’s to stop him wanking.

[Russ L]

These explanations are not mutually exclusive. The more capable he is of defending himself, the less likely he is to be forced to learn where “Thicky” Holden’s nickname came from.

[srmcd1]

The hardest part of Cyber School is learning the world doesn’t revolve around wanking.

[(deleted)]

But it really is stop him wanking though.

[Pete Part Three]

Yes, the wanking thing.

[si]

Wanking.

Right, finished. What did you ask again?

[cwickham]

I’ve heard that Rimmer wears boxing gloves in bed to stop him wanking – is there anyone who can get this confirmed for me?

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

Does Kochanski wear boxing gloves to stop herself from cutting?

[clem]

Cheaper than putting bromide in his tea in the long run I suppose, but he gets them off pretty easily, doesn’t he?

Not disagreeing btw – the reason definitely is to prevent him from wanking his cock.

[srmcd1]

You’d think with all that school cabbage, he wouldn’t be all that interested in wanking…

[Stephen Abootman]

“he gets them off pretty easily, doesn’t he?”

All good practice for hooking up with Yvonne McGruder

[Ridley]

Probably explains THE APPEAL!!1!

[Taiwan Tony]

>Wanking.
Right, finished. What did you ask again?

Did a real Sid James at that. I have a cold.

Great thread. Is this something everyone can finally agree on? (I’m discounting the fighting thing as the answer is wanking.)

[clem]

> the answer is wanking.

As is so often the case.

[GlenTokyo]

I bet you could still have a wank with a pair of boxing gloves. If you really want to someone wanking by enforcing a strict glove policy, I’d say chainmail gloves (snag hazard, cold) and cheap gardening gloves (rough as fuck, would dye your cock green) would be the better choices.

But yeah, it was to stop him wanking.

[JamesTC]

Is this also the reason for Kryten’s new bulbous hands?

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

If a hologram knocked one off the wrist, would there be holo-ejaculate and if so, does it sit around degrading like tape generation loss or disappear after travelling a certain distance from said hologrammatic wankee?

Based on that, can the T-1000 strum his banjo and create liquid metal one-eyed milkman’s special delivery?

When Odo was punished and forced to become a solid, did Odo shoot liquid runabout into his bird’s wormhole?

These really are questions Series VIII should’ve answered.

[International Debris]

I have to admit, I’ve often wondered just how hologrammatic sex works.

If someone was desperate for a wank, they’d find out a way, boxing gloves or not. I wouldn’t put it past Rimmer’s upbringing for him to have been forced into a chastity device.

I’m not sure I like the tone of this post.

[Jonsmad]

He took his own boxing gloves off though, when his older self, told him to, didnt he?

I that why Thickie holden managed to get down the patent office first? Because rimmer was still in bed wanking.

[Jonsmad]

I’ve sold this thread to Channel four by the way for £25 million as a new game show format called:
Knockout? Or Cock out?

[GlenTokyo]

With holojizz, maybe it’s like the rare holomug, Holly/the ship can maintain a number of hologrammatic items that aren’t a human, so if one has a hand shandy, you get a puddle of holosplooge which remains until either the limit of hologrammatic items is reached or the hologram leaves the area/ asks to have it removed.

Hard light holojizz would be wipe-proof.

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

Their fate will be in each other’s hands, to share, or to holo-shaft.

[si]

Got to love G&T. The only website where you’ll find prolonged conversation about holojizz.

[Ian Symes]

Lister to Red Dwarf. The intruder seems to be blissfully unaware that we have some rather sturdy holojizz in the munitions cabinet.

[(deleted)]

“Cut!”

“I don’t know why I (bleep)ing ate that semen.”

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

‘You see, for me, everything’s semen’.

[jellyscare]

Is the boxing glove method a real thing? Wish I’d known.

[Plastic Percy]

When I was young, I assumed it was to defend himself from the bullies (i.e. in the event something like Private Pyle’s beating in Full Metal Jacket happened).

Now I’m older, it’s clear it was to stop him making stomach pancakes.

[Stephen Abootman]

Why is he so pleased to find the nocturnal boxing gloves in his room in Legion? A nicer alternative to hitting himself in the crotch with a hammer like in VIII?

[Plastic Percy]

More to the point, if they are such an intrinsic part of his lifestyle then why do we never see him use them?

[Taiwan Tony]

Did everyone else not assume they were tied on against his will* by someone else? A prudish parent, or draconian schoolteacher?

*Desperately not trying to type ‘Against his willy…?’ Fuck.

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

The gloves remind him of McGruder who, as we know, was the ship’s female boxing champion.

It raises the prospect that Rimmer wasn’t entirely the dominant partner in the bedroom and that said boxing gloves were involved in some sort of sordid game.

[International Debris]

I don’t imagine anyone would have thought Rimmer was the dominant partner in the bedroom.

Having said that, I just remembered Demons & Angels.

[Author]

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