Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Why did Rimmer wear boxing gloves in bed?

Viewing 36 posts - 1 through 36 (of 36 total)
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  • #216261
    jellyscare
    Participant

    This is mentioned a couple of times throughout Red Dwarf, most prominently in Timeslides, I think. But I don’t really understand why he did it. What’s the purpose?

    #216262
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    To stop him wanking.

    #216270
    srmcd1
    Participant

    Probably to defend himself. Imagine being a young Bonehead and living under constant threat of wedgies and pink bellies in Io House.

    Pity they didn’t protect him from whatever creep was taking pictures of young boys while they slept…

    #216271
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    No, it’s to stop him wanking.

    #216272
    Russ L
    Participant

    These explanations are not mutually exclusive. The more capable he is of defending himself, the less likely he is to be forced to learn where “Thicky” Holden’s nickname came from.

    #216274
    srmcd1
    Participant

    The hardest part of Cyber School is learning the world doesn’t revolve around wanking.

    #216276
    (deleted)
    Participant

    But it really is stop him wanking though.

    #216277
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Yes, the wanking thing.

    #216278
    si
    Participant

    Wanking.

    Right, finished. What did you ask again?

    #216279
    cwickham
    Participant

    I’ve heard that Rimmer wears boxing gloves in bed to stop him wanking – is there anyone who can get this confirmed for me?

    #216280

    Does Kochanski wear boxing gloves to stop herself from cutting?

    #216281
    clem
    Participant

    Cheaper than putting bromide in his tea in the long run I suppose, but he gets them off pretty easily, doesn’t he?

    Not disagreeing btw – the reason definitely is to prevent him from wanking his cock.

    #216282
    srmcd1
    Participant

    You’d think with all that school cabbage, he wouldn’t be all that interested in wanking…

    #216283
    Stephen Abootman
    Participant

    “he gets them off pretty easily, doesn’t he?”

    All good practice for hooking up with Yvonne McGruder

    #216284
    Ridley
    Participant

    Probably explains THE APPEAL!!1!

    #216285
    Taiwan Tony
    Participant

    >Wanking.
    Right, finished. What did you ask again?

    Did a real Sid James at that. I have a cold.

    Great thread. Is this something everyone can finally agree on? (I’m discounting the fighting thing as the answer is wanking.)

    #216293
    clem
    Participant

    > the answer is wanking.

    As is so often the case.

    #216310
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    I bet you could still have a wank with a pair of boxing gloves. If you really want to someone wanking by enforcing a strict glove policy, I’d say chainmail gloves (snag hazard, cold) and cheap gardening gloves (rough as fuck, would dye your cock green) would be the better choices.

    But yeah, it was to stop him wanking.

    #216315
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Is this also the reason for Kryten’s new bulbous hands?

    #216318

    If a hologram knocked one off the wrist, would there be holo-ejaculate and if so, does it sit around degrading like tape generation loss or disappear after travelling a certain distance from said hologrammatic wankee?

    Based on that, can the T-1000 strum his banjo and create liquid metal one-eyed milkman’s special delivery?

    When Odo was punished and forced to become a solid, did Odo shoot liquid runabout into his bird’s wormhole?

    These really are questions Series VIII should’ve answered.

    #216346

    I have to admit, I’ve often wondered just how hologrammatic sex works.

    If someone was desperate for a wank, they’d find out a way, boxing gloves or not. I wouldn’t put it past Rimmer’s upbringing for him to have been forced into a chastity device.

    I’m not sure I like the tone of this post.

    #216359
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    He took his own boxing gloves off though, when his older self, told him to, didnt he?

    I that why Thickie holden managed to get down the patent office first? Because rimmer was still in bed wanking.

    #216360
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    I’ve sold this thread to Channel four by the way for £25 million as a new game show format called:
    Knockout? Or Cock out?

    #216362
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    With holojizz, maybe it’s like the rare holomug, Holly/the ship can maintain a number of hologrammatic items that aren’t a human, so if one has a hand shandy, you get a puddle of holosplooge which remains until either the limit of hologrammatic items is reached or the hologram leaves the area/ asks to have it removed.

    Hard light holojizz would be wipe-proof.

    #216363

    Their fate will be in each other’s hands, to share, or to holo-shaft.

    #216368
    si
    Participant

    Got to love G&T. The only website where you’ll find prolonged conversation about holojizz.

    #216378
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Lister to Red Dwarf. The intruder seems to be blissfully unaware that we have some rather sturdy holojizz in the munitions cabinet.

    #216379
    (deleted)
    Participant

    “Cut!”

    “I don’t know why I (bleep)ing ate that semen.”

    #216380

    ‘You see, for me, everything’s semen’.

    #216386
    jellyscare
    Participant

    Is the boxing glove method a real thing? Wish I’d known.

    #216390
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    When I was young, I assumed it was to defend himself from the bullies (i.e. in the event something like Private Pyle’s beating in Full Metal Jacket happened).

    Now I’m older, it’s clear it was to stop him making stomach pancakes.

    #216392
    Stephen Abootman
    Participant

    Why is he so pleased to find the nocturnal boxing gloves in his room in Legion? A nicer alternative to hitting himself in the crotch with a hammer like in VIII?

    #216400
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    More to the point, if they are such an intrinsic part of his lifestyle then why do we never see him use them?

    #216405
    Taiwan Tony
    Participant

    Did everyone else not assume they were tied on against his will* by someone else? A prudish parent, or draconian schoolteacher?

    *Desperately not trying to type ‘Against his willy…?’ Fuck.

    #216409

    The gloves remind him of McGruder who, as we know, was the ship’s female boxing champion.

    It raises the prospect that Rimmer wasn’t entirely the dominant partner in the bedroom and that said boxing gloves were involved in some sort of sordid game.

    #216428

    I don’t imagine anyone would have thought Rimmer was the dominant partner in the bedroom.

    Having said that, I just remembered Demons & Angels.

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