Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Worst line from Red Dwarf

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  • #2141

    What line in Dwarf reaaly makes you cringe?

    For me it has to be “What a Dibbley!”

    #119663
    Andrew
    Participant

    “Inteeeeeernal memo”

    Just because the delivery is obviously stumbled. Shoulda done a retake.

    #119664
    penny
    Participant

    In The End when Lister says “sir” makes me cringe abit, but I for some reason prefer it to be staying in there than out.

    #119666
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    You guys have the whole of Red Dwarf to chose from and you pick on series 1 and series 6? Madness…

    “It’s a theory you only tell your relatives.”

    #119667
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    > ?Inteeeeeernal memo?

    Just because the delivery is obviously stumbled. Shoulda done a retake.

    I always thought that Rimmer was taking the mick out of Lister again with that long scouse-like vowel.

    #119672
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    The Nostrilomo.

    #119673
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    “As if your todger with a couple of eyes drawn on it would look like a French movie star. Way too good looking.”

    Yes, we got the joke, thank you. You don’t need to explain it.

    #119678
    listerssock
    Participant

    “I didn’t come here looking for trouble. I just came to do the Red Dwarf shuffle.”

    #119679
    Phil
    Participant

    WHATSANIGUANA

    #119682
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > WHATSANIGUANA

    NO. I’ve taken this long enough you bunch of bastards, but that line is FUNNY and is delivered FINE.

    I HATE YOU ALL AND WILL KILL YOU.

    #119683
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    “Officer bud babe”

    #119684
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I really think it’s the lack of audience reaction that makes the iguana line feel so awkward. Especially as Craig seems to be pausing for an audience reaction.

    I could list shitloads from VII/VIII, but I don’t see an awful lot of point. Instead, I’ll mention one that used to really annoy me, but now I think is rather amusing (and it’s not “Have you done my leg yet?”, as I’ve gone on about that before):

    LISTER: Roughly translated… Hit the reheat.
    CAT: You don’t have to tell me twice.
    LISTER: Cat man, hit the reheat!
    CAT: Oh sorry. Looks like you do have to tell me twice.

    I have no idea why that’s turned into something I found awkward and unfunny to something I rather like…

    #119685
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Oh, and I never thought that ?inteeeeeernal memo? was fumbled – I just thought it was Rimmer being… well, Rimmer. I’ll have another look next time I watch it.

    Robert saying “time-space continuum” instead of “space-time continuum” in Krytie TV gets right up my nose, though. Now, that should definitely have had a retake.

    Mind you, it all depends on the fluff. Sometimes mistakes that are left in annoy me, but sometimes they don’t bug me at all, and I can admire an actor who just carries on and most people won’t notice there was anything wrong. It all depends on the show and the mistake, and how well the actor deals with it.

    Still, I watched an episode of Man About The House recently, and right at the start of the episode, Jo says something and her mic isn’t turned up, so you hardly hear the line! Right at the start of the episode! There’s not really any excuse for that…

    #119686
    James
    Participant

    “A pair of plastic underpants and a trademark”

    It’s not the line as such, more that Craig goes into accent overload on trademark, and it feels as though he’s slipped out of Lister totally.

    “A couple of blanks” One of my favorites! But it fell flat because the audience didn’t pick it up at all.

    #119689
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > It?s not the line as such, more that Craig goes into accent overload on trademark, and it feels as though he?s slipped out of Lister totally.

    A bit like de did for the entirety of series 8, you mean?

    #119691
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    LISTER: Roughly translated? Hit the reheat.
    CAT: You don?t have to tell me twice.
    LISTER: Cat man, hit the reheat!
    CAT: Oh sorry. Looks like you do have to tell me twice.

    I like this, but Buffy did the same gag much better.

    As for the iguana line, I’m with Cappsy – I like it. But your point about jokes that wait for a laugh they don’t get… watching Bodyswap today (I’m still ploughing through Rehamstered mit der text tracks), there’s one there – it’s when Rimmer’s talking about “gibbering vegetable for the rest of your life”. He pauses before going into the second punchline, but the laugh doesn’t come until the very end of the line…

    #119692
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    “Maybe we can get it to eat some roughage!”

    #119694
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    watching Bodyswap today (I?m still ploughing through Rehamstered mit der text tracks), there?s one there – it?s when Rimmer?s talking about ?gibbering vegetable for the rest of your life?. He pauses before going into the second punchline, but the laugh doesn?t come until the very end of the line?

    I think that one’s a quirk of the remastering, IIRC, but don’t quote me on it. In general, the laughter seems to be much lower in the mix for that episode.

    #119698
    Phil
    Participant

    “What’s an iguana?” just beats out “Mornin’ farmer Lister!” for me.

    VII and VIII have unfunny lines, yes, but iguana/farmer Lister positively make me shudder. A confident delivery of an unfunny line helps me gloss over it and wait for the next good one. But a line like these two really trips up my enjoyment of the show. The End, if you couldn’t guess by now, is definitely not one of my favorite episodes.

    >Jo says something and her mic isn?t turned up, so you hardly hear the line! Right at the start of the episode! There?s not really any excuse for that?

    Working my way through Python again, I’m reminded of just how often the gang fluff a line and keep on going. Which, honestly, I quite like. You can hear them screw up, and then backpeddle just a word or two, and pick it right up again. They must not have been keen on doing re-takes for anything less than a complete failure to make it through the scene. (Which must be at least partly why the audience reaction is always so enthusiastic…the flubs that are left in the show is evidence that the audience isn’t having to sit through endless retakes for the gang to get it “perfect.”)

    But anyway, to the point, I was watching an episode last night, and it was the skit in which Eric Idle wants to get out of the army because he might get hurt. He flubs one of his first lines…the sketch doesn’t have any momentum yet and there haven’t been any real jokes up to that point…and they still kept on with it. I can understand not wanting to re-start a sketch that’s already minutes underway, but for one of the very first lines? Surely that’s got to be worth a re-take…

    #119702
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Yeah, but tape were more expensive in them days, lad…

    #119704
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I always wondered why the line “Please be upstanding for the cutting of the cake” was so quiet. A mixing problem, perhaps?

    #119705
    Tanya Jones
    Participant

    Oh, there’s nothing wrong with the iguana line or the Farmer Lister stuff. Hmph. 60s and 70s telly is full of fluffs, partly because of the expense of video, as Seb says, but also because most performers came from a solid theatre grounding, and so were used to making the best of fluffs or stumbles. David Croft, a seasoned theatre performer and producer, wouldn’t re-take if he could possibly help it. I think his record as a director/producer was a 45 min ep of Allo Allo recorded in an hour and a half, and I don’t think there’s even a significant fluff kept in, because most of the performers were theatre veterans, and so delivered the line right first time. Awesome.

    #119710
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    “I must be the only person to go to an audience screening and there not to be a single fuck-up in it.”

    #119711
    Phil
    Participant

    >Oh, there?s nothing wrong with the iguana line or the Farmer Lister stuff.

    Except that they’re absolutely horrible, I completely agree.

    #119712
    pfm
    Participant

    Any time ‘black card’ is mentioned. One of the best Re-mastered cuts.

    Any Cat ‘we’re deader than…’ lines.

    Any gags about the shape of Kryten’s head (e.g. Lister – ‘Do I play the guitar?’ Kryten – ‘Do I have a head shaped like an amusing ice cube?’) Maybe I laughed at it at one time…but not now, sadly.

    Something that always pisses me off for some reason is when Rimmer shouts ‘Alphabettie Spaghetti!!’ in Polymorph. That whole scene is a bit off though. I don’t like Rimmer’s mum’s line ‘I honestly thought my false teeth were going to fall out’.

    Like you said, VII & VIII have too many to list. Not only that, VII & VIII lines are a lot less memorable.

    #119717
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    >Any time ?black card? is mentioned. One of the best Re-mastered cuts.

    God, no! That is great character stuff, illustrating Rimmer’s pedantry. The iguana line, meanwhile, is just a cheap stupidity laugh (much like Lister doing a dot-to-dots puzzle and being amazed at the solution).

    #119718
    Steve Harris
    Participant

    I’ve always been a ‘go with the flow’ kind of viewer and tend to pass over anything slightly painful or below par in the knowledge/hope that better is to follow.
    Recurring themes have never been a problem for me, Krytens head, Deader than and even Space Corps directives seem part and parcel of the show. Very little in Dwarf has ever made me cringe.
    Having said that, Hollisters ‘have you any idea what happens when’ dialogue in Pete seemed to drag on for ever. Repeated viewings since have been no less cringe worthy despite the great delivery etc.

    Several portions of Atkinsons dialogue in Blackadder made me feel the same way despite absolutely loving the show.

    It’s that kind of bum shuffling in the seat feeling you get when something doesn’t quite fit the way you like it on screen..

    #119720
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >Any time ?black card? is mentioned. One of the best Re-mastered cuts.

    *hits the “Ban performingmonkey” button*

    #119730
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    > (much like Lister doing a dot-to-dots puzzle and being amazed at the solution)

    I’m going to own up now. My nephew was doing one of these, but in fairness he just went off on his own and started it so far, then stopped and drew whatever he thought that looked like. But because he’d drawn something different I GENUINELY couldn’t see what it was MEANT to be and so I decided to finish it out of sheer curiosity.

    It was a spade.

    I laughed so hard.

    So that line now has particular meaning to me and is no longer painful.

    Although it now makes me out to be a dumb fuck.

    #119732
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I like the bucket-and-spade line in VIII. I can’t defend it on a character level, but it makes me laugh, which is more than a lot of VIII jokes do.

    And Pete and Seb are right. The white card/black card is one of my favourite bits of Balance Of Power. (Especially Rimmer’s singing of it.) And the false teeth line in Polymorph is one of my favourite lines as well…

    #119749
    pfm
    Participant

    Well whoop-de-fucking-do.

    #119751
    pfm
    Participant

    This clip I’m thinking demonstrates other lines that I’m sure you find hilariously funny but I, sadly, don’t. The psychiatrist side is OK but many of Robert’s lines make me want to smash the screen. ‘Surprise: ooh, I’ve turned into a frog!!’. No.

    All right, the line ‘I look like a dog with a caramel toffee’ IS good. Robert’s delivery is great there. In fact that might be the funniest line in the whole episode.

    #119753
    Phil
    Participant

    Robert’s delivery throughout that whole scene is excellent…you really can’t fault him for it. In fact, it’s only the repetition of asking Kryten to check that the chair is bolted down that brings me out of the fun. I really, really enjoy that scene…and with just two or three line trims I think it’d be just fine.

    #119764
    James
    Participant

    The best line in Series 8 is “It flashed past because you had two breasts big as your head at your beck and call day and night! Give me that now and I wouldn’t be whinging.”

    #119798
    Anonymous
    Guest

    “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?” “See you in ten minutes?”

    #119800
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Ha ha. Still makes me laugh. Or cry. One of the two.

    Incidentally, the best line in Series 8 comes courtesy of Kochanski (bizarrely enough):

    Kochanski: It doesn’t make sense. Why would I want to sleep with you?
    Rimmer: Maybe you get blind drunk.
    Kochanski: That doesn’t excuse my other four senses!

    #119801
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Incidentally, the best line in Series 8 comes courtesy of Kochanski (bizarrely enough):

    Kochanski: It doesn?t make sense. Why would I want to sleep with you?
    Rimmer: Maybe you get blind drunk.
    Kochanski: That doesn?t excuse my other four senses!

    You know, loads of people count that as one of their favourite jokes in VIII, but it’s never really appealed to me that much. Although I suspect that’s the delivery as much as anything else…

    #119807
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Jimbotfu, he say…
    … ?See you in ten minutes?? …

    DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL. DO A BARREL ROLL.

    #119809
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase! Use the boost to chase!

    #119810
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Back to bad lines – from Ouroboros:

    “It’s not exactly possible at the moment, we’re under attack.”

    #119814
    James
    Participant

    I could post lines from the camera scripts, that have never been used, but are gold, but I’d probably get shot..Oh shot.

    #119815
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I could post lines from the camera scripts, that have never been used, but I’d probably get shot..

    You’re not getting my phone tonight.

    #119821
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    There are some REALLY good lines not used AT ALL from Holoship.

    #119822
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    After reading this thread it has to be

    “See you in Ten minutes”

    i have to skip past it.

    Does anyone agree that if they’d’ve just used a looped bit of footage it would’ve taken the edge off it?

    #119826
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    I don’t know… the only plus in it is that by the end Mac looks as annoyed as I do, but it also robs it of its ‘the same moment over and over’ aspect.

    #119827
    Phil
    Participant

    I kind of like that the footage isn’t looped, and it’s not completely out of line. The time wand works in all kinds of ways, so I just think of it as resetting Hollister’s thought pattern each time. It doesn’t reset everything about him, it just rewinds his thoughts to the point just before he says “See you in ten minutes.”

    That said, I DO wish the lost Canary squadron was somehow treated in the edit to stop them moving around and stop-starting at different rates. I think that scene is approximately one-eighth as funny as “See you in ten minutes” (which I don’t, by any means, hate as much as most people do) because the performance by the frozen Canary is so lousy. At least some good believable editing would have made it tolerable.

    #119828
    John Hoare
    Participant

    That said, I DO wish the lost Canary squadron was somehow treated in the edit to stop them moving around and stop-starting at different rates.

    Speaking of that scene:

    KOCHANSKI: So you mean they’re moving, just incredibly slowly?
    HOLLY: About the same speed as the average Little Chef waitress.

    Fine.

    HOLLY: That’s why they don’t appear to be actually doing anything.

    I GOT THE JOKE LEAVE ME ALONE

    #119834
    Anonymous
    Guest

    “No, no wait…that’s Argyle and THAT’S the baby. I was thrown for a minute by the bib and the bonnet.”

    Haha. Funny.

    “I thought that was the baby at first!”

    Yes, yes…we know you did.

    #119835
    Anonymous
    Guest

    “Wrong bug head. You’re axed!”

    Urgh.

    “You’ve already screwed up the ping-pong tournaments, now
    you’re gonna mess up the yo-yo championships too.”

    Barely makes sense. Incredibly weak internal logic to that joke.

    “Let’s at least ask someone who’s at least
    going to give us a slightly more intelligent opinion:
    Hello, wall! What do you think?”

    CLUNK.

    “So wait a minute. Even if we didn’t plant a bomb, the only thing that
    really explains what we’re doing is if we did! Which we didn’t! But we
    must have! Because, otherwise, what we’re doing is totally nuts!”

    Just awful plotting.

    “Stop that dinosaur!”

    “It’s gone in the lift, its gone in the lift!”

    “Get it back, get it back! Get it back…”

    Just because it represents the moment that a show that once brought us Queeg and Back to Reality descended into Carry On Up The Cretaceous.

    #119839
    listerssock
    Participant

    “Don’t try to help us. We’re finished. Save yourselves.”

    *Shudders*

    #119843
    Dave
    Participant

    >I GOT THE JOKE LEAVE ME ALONE

    “Well, now I know why dogs lick their testicles”

    Massive laugh

    “It’s to take away the taste of their food”

    Give us some fucking credit, maybe we knew why we were laughing.

    #119854
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Just because it represents the moment that a show that once brought us Queeg and Back to Reality descended into Carry On Up The Cretaceous.

    I would argue that most of the Carry On films are VASTLY superior to VIII in pretty much every way – not least in terms of jokes and performances. With the odd exception towards the end, they’re a brilliant series of films.

    #119855
    John Hoare
    Participant

    ?Well, now I know why dogs lick their testicles?

    Massive laugh

    ?It?s to take away the taste of their food?

    Give us some fucking credit, maybe we knew why we were laughing.

    I must say, I didn’t really understand the joke until we got the second line. I know some people will get it just from the first bit, but I think it would have been hard to predict that the studio audience would have laughed as hard as they did on that first line, and been as quick on the ball.

    But either way, I agree that once you GET an audience reaction like that, the explanatory line suddenly feels awkward, even if I didn’t quite get the joke without the explanation.

    #119856
    Phil
    Participant

    >But either way, I agree that once you GET an audience reaction like that, the explanatory line suddenly feels awkward, even if I didn?t quite get the joke without the explanation.

    Right. Dave’s point is entirely correct, but, for the reason John states, I understand why they wrote the second line. If they knew they could bank on a big laugh after the first, they would have ended it there. But there’s really no way to know when it’s on paper.

    #119859
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    ?Don?t try to help us. We?re finished. Save yourselves.?

    *Shudders*

    Oh, god, yeah. At least with most of the others, the flaw is in the writing, not the delivery. I actually find it physically uncomfortable to watch that entire scene.

    #119861
    John Hoare
    Participant

    GHET AAHHT THE BELT WHILE YE CAN!

    Actually, I don’t really mind Grogan there. I make fun of it because it’s an easy target, but it doesn’t really bother me at all. Unlike Ted, I wouldn’t argue it’s a great performance – or even a good one – but it doesn’t really stick out as being horrendously bad, if only because she’s got so little screen time. And the Lister side – the important bit, and the whole point of the scene – works perfectly.

    #119880
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I don’t know, his “Ah-ah-ah-ah-donnunderstand!” is a bit cringey too. That might just be from the reflected awfulness of CPG, though.

    #119884
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I don’t understand the hate for that scene in Psirens. Surely it’s supposed to be cringeworthy and stupid to be believable as a big con? I’d be more concerned about Grogan’s pronunciation of ‘Dwarf”.

    #119886
    John Hoare
    Participant

    I don?t understand the hate for that scene in Psirens. Surely it?s supposed to be cringeworthy and stupid to be believable as a big con?

    I think you’ve just stumbled on why I don’t mind the scene! Although it is supposed to be more convincing than Cat’s.

    #119888
    pfm
    Participant

    > ?You?ve already screwed up the ping-pong tournaments, now
    you?re gonna mess up the yo-yo championships too.?

    Danny fucking that up time after time is a million times funnier than the actual line, and the whole episode for that matter.

    The dog testicles line is messed up by the audience. As it’s written the laugh is supposed to come after ‘It’s to take away the taste of their food’ rather than ‘now I know why dogs lick their testicles’ but because of how great the episode is they were always gonna laugh after that line.

    VII is definitely the worst for lines. But it DOES contain some belters such as ‘it’s an obscene phone call, sir’.

    #119889
    John Hoare
    Participant

    VII is definitely the worst for lines. But it DOES contain some belters such as ?it?s an obscene phone call, sir?.

    The line doesn’t make me laugh, though. By the end of an episode like that, the funniest joke in the world wouldn’t make me laugh.

    Mind you, a lot of people on here like the episode!

    #119891
    Dave
    Participant

    >But either way, I agree that once you GET an audience reaction like that, the explanatory line suddenly feels awkward, even if I didn?t quite get the joke without the explanation.

    I just think it would have been an easy edit to remove the second half of the line, but since it gets another laugh I can see why they didn’t.

    Like if they’d taken just one more frame out of “Ketchup!” in Beyond A Joke we would have believed Kryten’s bonce had actually blown up and the episode might have had a redeeming feature.

    #119894
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >?it?s an obscene phone call, sir?

    Best gag in VII, there. Mainly for Robert’s delivery. Comes in an otherwise appalling episode, as well.

    >I?d be more concerned about Grogan?s pronunciation of ?Dwarf?.

    Loads of people pronounce it that way, it’s really fucking annoying. Eternal are one of the worst offenders, in the A-Z, but if you look at some of the continuity we’ve got on the site, even some of the fucking BBC2 announcers do it. IT IS NOT PRONOUNCED DA-WARF. IT IS ONE SYLLABLE.

    #119900
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Like if they?d taken just one more frame out of ?Ketchup!? in Beyond A Joke we would have believed Kryten?s bonce had actually blown up and the episode might have had a redeeming feature.

    In one of the music videos on the DVDs (can’t remember which one), a few frames are removed from Kryten’s “I can’t believe it. I simply cannot be-” explosion, removing the obvious fake head and making the effect work a lot better. Which is a nice touch.

    #119905
    Dave
    Participant

    >In one of the music videos on the DVDs (can?t remember which one), a few frames are removed from Kryten?s ?I can?t believe it. I simply cannot be-? explosion, removing the obvious fake head and making the effect work a lot better. Which is a nice touch

    And completely achievable in 1997

    #119906
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Yes, it’s strange. And I noticed it was pretty badly done on first broadcast back in 1997. Which admittedly most people wouldn’t… but you’d have thought that the makers of the show would have done!

    Still, in an odd way I quite like it. I’m sure it wasn’t deliberate – but it does make the scenes slightly unnerving. The big white staring eyes…

    #119907
    Dave
    Participant

    Is that probably the most complimentary thing you’ve ever said about Beyond A Joke?

    #119908
    John Hoare
    Participant

    No. That’s: “Nice explosion”.

    #119909
    Dave
    Participant

    Nice explosion to you too

    #119910
    Anonymous
    Guest

    “Have you ever seen so many blackheads outside the staff room of a fried chicken franchise?”

    *Joke thuds to the floor, rolls into the gutter and melts into a putrid puddle of badly written sick*.

    #119916
    Turk Thrust
    Participant

    I think the ‘Brylcreem’ gag is one of the best in Series VIII.

    Unfortunately it’s followed up with the explanation which insults the intelligence of anyone watching.

    #119917
    Dave
    Participant

    “Obviously I’m excluding women who work in Oxfam shops.”

    Cheap shot

    #119918
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I had to do a Google for that as my memory of VIII is pretty weak. Came across the following transcription from Only the Good which made me smile;

    Lister: Where did you get that?
    Rimmer: From a fight, years ago, dual.
    Lister: A dual! You! Get out of town!
    Rimmer : Not a dual. Jewel, the old Steven Speilburg movie. A friend of mine attacked me with the video case.

    I wasn’t smiling at the the dialogue mind, just the spelling mistakes.

    #119920
    John Hoare
    Participant

    The Oxfam shops joke is undoubtedly a cheap shot, but that’s part of what makes it funny for me. One of the few VII jokes I really like, just for its sheer unfairness.

    The dual/Duel joke is pretty terrible, although it doesn’t bother me that much, but I like the joke preceding it:

    LISTER: This little scar’s itchy today. Must be all the dust.
    RIMMER: You’ve got a scar? When did you get that?
    LISTER: Those complimentary pens that the hospital guys were giving out – y’know, “most accidents happen in the home, so be careful” ones? I accidentally stabbed myself in the head with one.
    RIMMER: Where were you?
    LISTER: I wasn’t at home, so I didn’t feel stupid or anything.

    God, defending both VII and VIII in the same post. I need a lie down.

    #119922
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Duel/Duel!

    #119923
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Duel/Duel!

    Oooh, yes. Dunno why I put that.

    Maybe Doug should have added a HILARIOUS third confusion.

    #119925
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >I think the ?Brylcreem? gag is one of the best in Series VIII.

    Yes, of all the attempts to bring “Series II-ish Holly dialogue” back in series VIII, that was probably the best. Well, I say “best”, I mean “only vaguely successful one”.

    #119927
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I liked a lot of the Holly dialogue from VIII. What ruins the lines in most cases is Norm’s delivery. He seemed much more enthusiastic than he did in the first two series, it didn’t really work.

    If the film ever gets made, I’d vote for Hattie to come back. I think she’s probably the only one of the two still capable of playing “their” Holly effectively.

    #119929
    Dave
    Participant

    >Duel/Duel!

    Dual Duel

    #119930
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    No doubt Norman would be fuming, I would actually find it hilarious to see Norman talking about the movie the way he does, and expects them to get him in for it… It would be a real kick in the balls for him to be replaced with Hattie for the movie.

    #119938
    Dave
    Participant

    Akin to the kick in the teeth Hattie probably got when Nanarchy rolled around. I’d be amazed if anyone told her Norm was back before it aired.

    #119955
    Lonely Among Us
    Participant

    “What are you saying? Red Dwarf’s gonna blow?”

    “In less time than it takes a Norwegian to buy ski-boots!”

    Awkward, awkward line.

    #119959
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Yes, it doesn’t bother me that much, but it is a bit of an odd line.

    The deleted scenes on the V DVD show that it survived both the original recording and the reshoot, too…

    #119960
    Dave
    Participant

    “We like a bit of that don’t we?”

    Not so much a bad line, as catchphrase I pray never caught on

    #120191
    Anonymous
    Guest

    “Do you want a screwdriver?”

    Just because the way Claire asks it and her facial expression are so weird and it makes no sense. Seriously, take a look at it.

    #120290
    Antipodean
    Participant

    “You mean there’s a heart out there with no body? No wonder it’s beating so fast.” Um… what?

    The Nostrilomo comes close.

    #120291
    Anonymous
    Guest

    >?You mean there?s a heart out there with no body? No wonder it?s beating so fast.? Um? what?

    Yeah, I never understood that either.

    And from the same scene – “About the same odds as discovering Mr Lister saddle-stitching the hem of a pair of lemon maternity slacks.” – letscramasmanyjokesintothefirstscenesoftheepisodeevenifitsreallyinappropriatetodoso.

    Oh, and “they don’t like it when you’re rat-arsed”. Actually, no…it’s not a bad line. I just hate Norman’s stupid smug face afterwards.

    #120305
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    > ?About the same odds as discovering Mr Lister saddle-stitching the hem of a pair of lemon maternity slacks.?

    My problem with this is that Lister has actually been pregnant at one point, which makes the scenario distinctly possible.

    #120311
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    “Talia! The nanobots must have resurrected you, as well!”

    As an explanation for being able to bring in a character from outside, it’s appalling. As a conclusion that Hollister would have instantly arrived at naturally, it’s even worse.

    “I’ve tried to fit in, I really have. I even tried learning what offside was!”

    Yes. Have to say, I can’t remember the episodes where the rest of the Dwarf crew sat around obsessing over football, but they must have existed for it to be such a crucial element of “fitting in”.

    #120321
    Dave
    Participant

    >I can?t remember the episodes where the rest of the Dwarf crew sat around obsessing over football

    Zero G Football?

    #120322
    pfm
    Participant

    That just shows how badly Kochanski was written most of the time. I still can’t believe the ‘period’ gag. What with Doug and Graham Linehan, it’s as though they think ‘hmmm, what’s funny about women…aha, periods!’ Not that I didn’t laugh every time…YES I laughed at an VIII gag.

    #120324
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >Zero G Football?

    Well, yes, Lister’s into that, but he hardly bangs on about it (I’m not sure it’s mentioned at all beyond series II), and no-one else ever expresses an interest. And it’s (association) football whose offside rule is the legendarily incomprehensible one (even though it isn’t, even, actually).

    The point is, it’s a lazy “women versus blokes” stereotype that bears absolutely no relevance to the characters Kochanski is trying to “fit in” with, and has no place in Dwarf.

    #120325
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    >What with Doug and Graham Linehan, it?s as though they think ?hmmm, what?s funny about women?aha, periods!?

    I’m not sure what you’re getting at with Linehan here; maybe there’s some obvious stereotyping in The IT Crowd that I’m not aware of (not watched owt beyond a couple of series one eps), but lest we forget, he did co-create Fran, one of the most well-drawn and un-stereotypical female comedy characters of recent times.

    #120327
    TheLeen
    Participant

    > I?m not sure what you?re getting at with Linehan here; maybe there?s some obvious stereotyping in The IT Crowd that I?m not aware of

    Well, there is that one episode named “Aunt Irma visits”… (series one)

    > not watched owt beyond a couple of series one eps

    Boo.

    #120328
    Phil
    Participant

    Actually there’s quite a lot of female stereotyping in the IT Crowd, but I think it’s always done with an understanding that it’s humor ABOUT that kind of stereotyping. (“I’ve only ever met one woman and she’s just walked out of the room screaming ‘The shoooes-ahh!'”)

    It’s comedy ABOUT stereotypes rather than Linehan just trying to write for a woman and falling into that trap.

    >Fran, one of the most well-drawn and un-stereotypical female comedy characters of recent times.

    Definitely unstereotypical. I might take a bit of issue with “well-drawn” though. (Not that that’s a criticism…I don’t see it as negative in any way…but it’s a certain type of writing that creates a show like Black Books…and well-drawn isn’t really the term I’d use to describe the characters.)

    #120329
    Andrew
    Participant

    > ?Talia! The nanobots must have resurrected you, as well!?

    Compounded by this:

    “it must have been the escape pod; the one Talia whatsername arrived on.”

    So which was it – arrival-on-pod, or resurrection by nanos? YOU NEED TO PICK ONE!

    #120332
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I now have a mental picture of Andrew confronting Doug in the GNP office over that issue.

    #120333
    Andrew
    Participant

    He doesn’t like it when I do that. You should hear the ‘time drive now travels through space as well’ discussions… :-)

    #120337
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I now have a mental image of Doug going “If you don’t like it, Andrew, write your own bloody sci-fi sitcom!”

    And now I wish I’d thought of that in time to put it in TM:YNYN ;-)

    #120339
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    There may be an actual, logical reason for that, mind. Unless, when you bring it up, Doug just sort of goes “Er” and then hides behind a potted plant in the hopes you think he’s vanished from the room.

    I’ve been asked a similar question about Jump Leads on a couple of occasions – “Does the Flurry materialise in the exact same spatial co-ordinates in every Universe, or does it appear in an entirely random location? If it’s the latter, why did their first attempt to jump away after Lucas died bring them to a parallel version of the Universe they were already in?” – and I actually have an answer that I’d quite happily insert into the comic if I thought it would move the story along. Which it wouldn’t. Maybe I’ll write it down sometime.

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