Did Kochanski ever find out whether the Time Wand can do boob jobs?

It could only make her tits younger or older, so sort of.

Next question please.

Did Captain Hollister ever follow through on his threat to bust the coffee machine’s ass down to tampon dispenser?

Did Kochanski use this dispenser when she was famously on her period, in a nice bit of bookending to the series?

“Famously on her period” hahahaha. I love how that’s basically an accurate statement

A gorilla penis would only be bigger if your penis is less than 2 inches. Human penises are some of the largest of the primate wangs.

The time wand can make it so that a person born in the 22nd century can revert to a time when they inexplicably wore clothes and styled themselves as though they were in the late 20th, so who knows.

Maybe Kochanski can revert her chest to a time when she had a boob job, despite never having one.

Or just send her boobs back in time so they’re as pert as possible which is probably what she meant, though as a 27 year old woman at the time, the joke was probably a bit early from Doug.

How did we both know this GlenTokyo?

BETTER THAN COCK

honestly i wouldn’t risk getting a boob job from the time wand myself, given that according to lister it can “turn you into anything” (how?) so you might just end up turning into a giant pair of tits or something equally as morbid

THANKS FOR THE MAMMARY

If you’re going to revert your boobs to the time in your life when they were at their physical best, you might as well do the same to the rest of your body too. Sticking to the breasts shows a paucity of ambition.

I mean, supposedly you could just target the chest area and send it forward through evolution a good number of years and we could assume that tits evolve in the direction of increasing size.

To be fair, Chloe does say that she is thinking about the future.

Yes, but that was off the record.
Intriguingly, Kochanski was given the same line in the episode.

What if the Time Wand makes her pregnant with baby Lister?

It’s kind of funny that Lister had the ability to go anywhere in time and space, but only used it to look for curry, and in this episode Kryten gained the ability to bend reality to his will, and his first thought was “Ooh, we could skip to the end of our prison sentence!”. Where’s the AMBITION?

Also, this isn’t strictly on topic, but I just reminded myself that Pete opens with Ackerman having been drugged with ~truth serum~. The actual hell?!

Using immense godlike powers to do relatively mundane stuff is absolutely Kryten, though. See: White Hole

The difference is that White Hole would play that mundanity for a joke, Pete… doesn’t.

This basically encompasses two of the biggest problems with Series VIII for me – the high concentration of magic-level sci-fi concepts, and the relegation of the “3 million years into deep space” setting to an unimportant background detail.

I’d say being three million years into deep space is a bit of a background detail for quite a lot of episodes in more than just VIII. At least it’s made somewhat of a do out of in Back in the Red.

I’d say being three million years into deep space is a bit of a background detail for quite a lot of episodes in more than just VIII. At least it’s made somewhat of a do out of in Back in the Red.

Well, when I say “background detail” I don’t mean that it’s irrelevant to the plot, I mean that it’s irrelevant to everything, to the point where (after Back in the Red) everyone just behaves as if it’s 3 million years ago and the radiation leak never happened – anachronistic presence of The Cat and Kryten aside. It feels more like a time travel or “What if… ?” alternate premise for the series than it does a “The crew have come back to life – what do we now?” story:

– The entire crew just go back to their old jobs with absolutely nobody questioning or disrupting the old schedules or hierarchy, despite being millions of years past any of it having a point.

– There’s no reflection on the fact the crew of Red Dwarf have the new burden of planning the survival of the entire human race (or not).

– The fact that there must be 2 Kochanskis is never brought up.

– Nobody worries about what the ship’s living crew growing from 3 to over 1000 will do for everyone’s long term survival prospects, considering the requirements for food, water, oxygen etc.

Obviously I never would have expected them to dwell on all of these depressing details, but the utter lack of any acknowledgement is such a wasted opportunity, and ultimately it just doesn’t feel like Red Dwarf.

However, I do kind of like the bit in Back in the Red Part 3 where they lead you into thinking they’re pivoting back to a Starbug-based “Series 7 + alive Rimmer” status quo, and then go “lol nope, fuck you, this resurrected crew setting is really happening, deal with it”. For all of Series 8’s faults, it’s not short on chutzpah.

but it’s established in Back In The Red Part 3 that the crew were only brought back because Holly made a second set of nanobots so they could resurrect the ship’s crew to “keep Dave sane”.

WHAT.

Please don’t motivate me to rewatch Back in the Red…

I do like the idea that Holly would bring the entire crew back to life as a secondary task for keeping Lister sane, and not as a prime directive.

In any case, Kochanski-1 should definitely be there. No real reason for either Holly or the nanobots to exclude her from the necromancy.

No Kochanski or not. None of the crew should have been able to be reconstructed because nanobots need the material to make the crew surely? The material which was put in the kilner jars and flushed into space 10 years previous. Unless they made it them from another source, which would mean something would be missing elsewhere.

When they made Lister’s arm they used leftover material, bits of bone the skin from the flap, and I assume stole bits from here and there. Bit of bum cheek for the bicep etc. They don’t just magic it up.

The VIII Dwarf doesn’t have a giant-ass rock in the side of it, right?