Best Series 7 Lines

[my brook is babbled]

To celebrate the upcoming tenth series of Red Dwarf, I’ve decided to ask what everyone’s favourite line is from Series 7.

And for those of you who are irked by this reminder of the not-so-lauded series, apologies.

Lister: “Don’t you like her [Kochanski]?”

Kryten: “I’m a mere mechanoid sir, it’s hardly my place to point out what a bossy, old trollop she is!”

Topic

[Ridley]

“Perhaps you woud like to join us on a turn round the forest and later have tea in Mr. Bingley’s gazebo?”

[si]

“What about sex?” “Not here, it’s too sandy.”

I’ve mentioned it before, but I do think it’s suitably amusing.

[Jimboid]

“That suit’s sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that have been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice and jabbed into someone’s eye.”

“You pretend to be a big shot while they’re around, but as soon as no-one’s watching you’re as butch as an ice-skater’s friend.”

“Your brain moves faster than a nun’s first curry.”

“You can’t judge a book by its cover”
“And you can’t compare Rimmer to a book. For starters, a book’s got a spine.”

(I’m watching Stoke Me a Clipper, innit. Seeing the series in reverse order is something I’ve never done before. Starting with 8 makes everything else seem so much better.)

[si]

> Starting with 8 makes everything else seem so much better.

I get the sense that that’s the reason they’ve done it that way. Sure, they can make out that they’re ‘counting down’ to the new series, but the real reason they’re not showing them ‘I-VIII, BtE, X’ is so that we won’t stop watching after the series six repeats.

[Pete Part Three]

>Starting with 8 makes everything else seem so much better

Do what I do and just never watch it again.

And the best Series VII quote is *still* “I owe my life to him” [grins at camera].

[Karnie]

“Is it a ‘Cat being smacked on the head by a smegged off Lister’ kind of sound?”

I know, it’s from one of the worst episodes, but it still had some great Cat moments. That and “PHEWEY! Is it CRAMPED in here!”

[pfm]

“I don’t know, one morning poncing around without your guilt chip and suddenly you think you’re some hoity toity robo god instead of the lashed-together meccano gimboid that you are.”

That’s one of my favourite ever lines!

[my brook is babbled]

Thanks for the replies guys, didn’t expect so many after seeing the mass opinion of the Seventh series on here!

si speaking of the repeats, I caught a few Series 8 episodes yesterday, I was shocked by the state of the degredation on the tapes, cut out lines and various line-syncing problems. Whereas today the Series 7, I presume because of their more filmic look, looked much better and ironically ‘newer’.

Anyone else notice this?

[Jimboid]

I thought it was just the signal on my telly! If it was actually broadcast in that state….that’s piss poor. The pic kept stuttering / slowing down then speeding up.

Why don’t they just use the DVD masters?

7 does indeed still look brilliant. But where did they get that ratty old title card used at the start / end of ad breaks?

[JamesTC]

>Why don’t they just use the DVD masters?

They’d be compressed and not up to broadcast quality, I imagine. Also they’d need to edit them for pre-watershed viewing.

The picture stuttering has been seen to happen on the adverts too. So it isn’t the master copies of the episodes that Dave have that is causing the problems. I hope Dave sort this out because picture/sound problems have been happening for months.

>But where did they get that ratty old title card used at the start / end of ad breaks?

It is an old promo picture which they have added a caption to.

[pfm]

> Why don’t they just use the DVD masters?

I’m guessing because the edited versions they have were made before the DVD came out and they just used what they had available.

[Jimboid]

Ah, yes. That’s true.

They are cut to ribbons. Stoke Me a Clipper’s AR scene even had the suggestive wobbling of the tent trimmed.

[JamesTC]

LISTER:The temperature’s been a constant ninety degrees, and yet she’s still completely cold and unresponsive.
KRYTEN: What about Miss Carmen?

[my brook is babbled]

Yeah Jimboid (Love the picture btw)! Nice to know it wasn’t my telly on the blink.

Has anyone here ever been to a Dimension Jump?

I’m considering going to my first one next year, just I don’t know anyone who’s as mad about Red Dwarf as I am, is it something that’s better with friends or is it pretty sociable (if its anything like G&T it should be)

[Carlito]

Rewatched VII and VIII over the last week on DVD rather than Dave.

I really love the set design and lighting on VIII. And how lucky were we to get a rebuild of the Series I-II sleeping quarters set just for one scene in BITR? (I do realise that another scene was cut when it was extended). Kind of self indulgent to spend the budget that way, but there were so many different sets just in BITR alone compared to the 2 or 3 sets used in the RDX recording I saw.

Hate the font used in VIII, really no idea why they changed from microgramma to that ridiculous 80s computer font, but the sets and lighting are superb, the costume design is great, albeit a little limited.

I think there is so much disgust for VIII that the things that were done well are often overlooked. Such as:

* As mentioned, set design, costumes and lighting are arguably better than at any other point (bar maybe series V). There are just so many sets, and there is consistency across the board. It all serves to add epic scope to the giant ship. OB locations are very good too.

* the improvement in the character of Kochanski… she was surplus to requirements but actually had some amusing material in contrast to VII.

* it tried to be funny. The performances became too broad and the audience probably over-enthusiastic and too generous/forgiving with their laughter, but where VII seemed content to settle into comedy-drama, at least the effort was there in VIII to fill it full of gags.

* changing the central premise was a fucking ballsy move, and on paper it should have worked. The canaries concept was underused but when it did get a proper showcase in Cassandra, it produced the best episode of solo Doug Dwarf (at least until next month). Repopulating the ship opened a lot of possibilities, and bringing back the likes of Hollister, Chen and Selby… Doug was certainly being mindful of the hardcore cult fanbase when writing it, it must have hurt to have it thrown back in his face.

* I genuinely think the CGI is not bad at all for 1998. Not as good as models, naturally, but re-watching it I didn’t find them off-putting. The brig, the diving sequences in Cassandra, even the ship itself… they all look pretty good for a BBC sitcom, y’know?

[Phil]

“A knight’s escaped from the AR machine. IT’S KILLED RIMMER.”

It’s not a funny line on its own. But it’s funny that somebody wrote it.

[Pete Part Three]

Sorry, Carl. Can’t actually agree with anything you’ve written! :-)

Hate the lighting, hate the Canary and prison costumes (which the main cast wear for 90% of the time).

Kochanski doesn’t have a character in VIII. She is “a girl”. At least in Series VII, they tried to give her something to work with. Ok, so the neuroses thing didn’t work for her but what did they actually substitute this with in VIII? Period pains.

I dislike the “VII is comedy-drama” myth. VII is comedy-drama as much as Series I is comedy-drama. There are dramatic moments (the deaths of JFK, Ace and Able) but nothing has significant weight to it to push it into that genre, aside from the fact that the jokes are not hitting their marks.

VIII goes for a different tact and goes for the cheap laughs*. VII isn’t good, but VIII is bad.

*Having said that, there were hints of this in VII. I caught the opening of Ouroborus this afternoon and switched it over as soon as Kryten said [and I’m paraphrasing] “I’ve found some clothes for you to wear, Mr Lister. Yes, it’s a pink nightgown and some bunny slippers which would be fucking stupid for you to wear and impractical to modify, but if you could just slip them on now, it might be funny in the next scene when you try and claim that you’re sophisticated”

[clem]

From the Stoke Me a Clipper deleted scenes, I’m fond of “Hard to accept? No, Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller is hard to accept. George Lazenby as James Bond. Oven chips.”

[Nick R]

“‘My left arm,’ I said! That’s my right! What kind of navigation officer can’t tell left from right?”

[Jimboid]

> “Hard to accept? No, Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller is hard to accept. George Lazenby as James Bond. Oven chips.”

Lovely. I don’t remember that one.

[pfm]

It’s weird how you can watch a series another few years down the line and change your evaluation of it…yet again. VIII is now more enjoyable to me than VII, when, up until recently, that’s never been the case. BITR (complete cut) and Cassandra are better than anything in VII. Right at this moment I absolutely cannot stand VII or the thought of watching another frame of it!! Granted, I also feel that way about ‘Only The Good…’ but the rest of VIII, INCLUDING ‘Pete’ I can handle.

Somebody – please – shoot – me – in – the – head.

[Ben Paddon]

I still think VII is a stronger series overall than people give it credit for, but it does have some truly abominable moments.

[Jimboid]

It has some truly abominable episodes.

[Bezzy]

‘I just been molested by tutenkhamun’s horny grandma!’

when i first heard that line back in 1997 i spat my tea out!

[Stephen R. Fletcher]

On the subject of VII lines, I remember Craig Charles mentioning in the DVD Documentary that a word in Lister’s story of how he became claustrophobic was dubbed. It’s been bugging me for years now because I can never catch these things (except for “genuine” in Only Fools and Horses) so I was wondering if anyone knows what word was dubbed in?

Wikipedia claims: “as it turns out this word was left un-dubbed on the first VHS release of Series 7 and is, in fact, ‘Fuck’.”

This is something I highly doubt since that word has never been used in Red Dwarf before or since. I also have the VII X-tended VHS – no “fuck” there, and there doesn’t seem to be any difference.

[MANI506]

‘Hello wall, what do you think?’

Not really.

I keep changing my mind about VII and VIII. At the moment I think VII is under rated and VIII has a decent enough first half and then a total mess for the last four episodes.

[Ben Paddon]

I think there’s enough material in Red Dwarf VIII to cobble together at least one decent-ish episode. You could probably get three or four out of VII.

[Bezzy]

i love the sciency stuff and yes maybe VII went a little OTT sometimes but i loved it. Agreed i wasnt a fan of Duct Soup but it had some cool bits (i love cockpit scenes – but thats just me i guess) . who knows how it would have been if Chris Barrie hadnt left the series at the time..

As for series 8, like i said earlier things bugged me like Rimmer not grasping or caring what Lister had been through plus having no real reaction to him first meeting the Cat and Kryten. I did like the cassandra episode though and some of Back In the Red.

[si]

having no real reaction to him first meeting the Cat and Kryten

D’you know something? I have *never* even thought of that before.

[srmcd1]

Wasn’t there a deleted line from “Cassandra” that alluded to that? Rimmer tries to get Kryten to be the one who snuffs it instead of him, and this exchange ensues:

KRYTEN: But sir! How can you send me to my death? After all we’ve been through together!
RIMMER: I’ve only known you a week. I don’t give a stuff.

[Bezzy]

its more the fact he isnt fazed or shocked over the evolved Cat or Kryten, when Rimmer first saw Cat in series 1 he was suprised and shocked.. I assume Lister at some point would have filled rimmer in but still..

when you hear rimmer go ‘what do you know your a lowly chicken soup repairman’ (or something like that) its like he hasnt even asked where cat and Kryten came from, how they ended up with lister.. how he ended up being around kochanski.. etc… i just dont like loose ends,.. i know the show is the king of continuety errors but its when they try and piece it all together and it makes less sense my OCD chip goes into overdrive lol

[Ben Paddon]

It never bothered me that Rimmer would ask about the Cat and Kryten – he’s on a ship full of people, who would another person (admittedly a person with pointy teeth) make any difference?

As for Kryten, he might ask where the mechanoid came from, but he’s not going to act shocked to see someone with a head shaped like that. Mechanoids are already clearly in common use in Rimmer’s “native” time, as evidenced by the mechs at the Ganymede Holiday Inn as well as the fact that Red Dwarf itself appears to be preloaded with software to repair damaged or corrupted mechanoids.

[JamesTC]

Either Lister told him everything, Holly did or he read them in the confidential files. Before he met Kryten and Cat he knew about the events of ‘Backwards’ and ‘Future Echoes’ so he is clearly getting his information from one of the three sources.

[pfm]

> D’you know something? I have *never* even thought of that before.

And neither has Doug…;)

[Author]

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