Does Rimmer produce man sauce?

[Zombie Jim Undead]

I was wondering…presumably holograms can masturbate and we know that they are capable of sexual contact with one another. Is Rimmer therefore able to ejaculate? Does this ejaculate then exist as a separate holographic entity? If so, would Holly only be able to sustain either Rimmer OR his love batter and not both at the same time?

Is the holographic juice fertile? Could it impregnate a female hologram? Which ship would be powering the resultant offspring?

Discuss.

Topic

[JamesTC]

I think it like Rimmer can have holographic food but he can’t have a holographic shit, he can masturbate but no juice.

[Zombie Jim Undead]

Thanks for clearing that up.

*cough*

[TheLeen]

Does Rimmer produce man sauce?

I would very much like to UNREAD that topic title.

[Zombie Jim Undead]

YOU READ IT.

YOU CAN’T..etc etc etc.

[NitroChrisUK]

i think you may have brought up a major plot point of the specials

[Pete Part Three]

Unless he’s got some wiring in his lightbee to produce a tantric-like orgasm, he must splurge. Nirvannah seemed to enjoy his small portions, so it looks like he’s unable to control himelf.

I have diagrams if you’d like to see them?

[John Hoare]

I nominate this thread for hall of fame status.

[Seb Patrick]

>Is the holographic juice fertile? Could it impregnate a female hologram?

“We are holograms. There is no risk of disease or pregnancy.”

I’d repeat the next line, but I’m not Jane Horrocks so I can’t do it justice.

[JamesTC]

>Nirvannah seemed to enjoy his small portions, so it looks like he?s unable to control himelf.

I read that line and I thought you meant the band at first, I had to read it again.

[Zombie Jim Undead]

> ?We are holograms. There is no risk of disease or pregnancy.?

Damn, you’re right.

But do they have periods?

And if they eat but don’t defecate…do they still produce flatus? Imagine being able to let rip with no fear of follow-through! It’d be worth being dead.

[Phil]

>do they still produce flatus?

It just smells like ozone.

[Zombie Jim Undead]

Everyone remembers the day that they installed that giant toupee to cover the hole in Rimmer’s flatus layer.

[pfm]

This will be answered in the making of BITR.

[Danny Stephenson]

Does this ejaculate then exist as a separate holographic entity?

Cyber-Spunk.

[Phil]

Ho!

[James]

I would very much like to UNREAD that topic title.

But you love his nano-bot.

[Ben Paddon]

“Well it’s been a long time since I did that.”

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

Aaaaand now I’m recalling that erotic Lister/Rimmer fanfic I found somewhere in one of the darker, danker corners of the internet. (According to it, the answer is “yes”.) Just when I’d gone to the trouble of forgetting it properly, too.

I hate you all.

[Blisschick]

*gouging out eyes*

[hummingbird]

> erotic Lister/Rimmer fanfic

I feel ill.

[si]

I don’t know what’s more disturbing – the fact that I read this thread, or that it was created in the first place.

[locusceruleus]

“ELECTRIC SPAGHETTI?!”

[pfm]

Well, I know that rimmING produces man-sauce. Or at least it can, if coupled with gentle stroking of the shaft and glans. That particular act is worth avoiding though if you and your partner had a strong curry not so long since. Though you could use this to get your own back on your partner for all the times you’ve had to go downstairs, trying to stay conscious without breathing apparatus or a dental dam. Alternatively, just don’t wash, on purpose. That’ll show them.

[Dave]

Hollowgram

[Tanya Jones]

There wouldn’t be any need for bodily fluids, so no, he wouldn’t have spunk, saliva, blood or anything like that.

[Tyrell Corporation]

Wasn’t Rimmer sick in D.N.A?

[Ian Symes]

Nope. Cat sneezed, but that’s about it.

[Tyrell Corporation]

I’m pretty sure it was off-screen when Kryten and Rimmer find the rancid corpse.

Or maybe he pooed (poo’d?) himself.

[Ian Symes]

Oh yeah! Good point.

[Tyrell Corporation]

There is ‘The Young Ones’ slash-fiction on the hyperwebs.

No I will not explain how I stumbled upon it.

[Ben Paddon]

Er… Rimmer cacked his pants when confronting Hudzen 10 in “The Last Day”.

[Danny Stephenson]

I thought he’d peed himself, personally.

[locusceruleus]

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to America’s favorite gameshow, ‘Name That Bodily Fluid!’

Here’s your host, Guy Smiley!

[Tanya Jones]

>Er? Rimmer cacked his pants when confronting Hudzen 10 in ?The Last Day?.

True. Rob and Doug never took notice of logic when a good joke was available.

[hummingbird]

Yeah, but strictly speaking it’s holo wee/poo, and composed entirely of light, and therefore not a bodily fluid per se.

[Ben Paddon]

I thought he?d peed himself, personally.

Either way is good.

[Ridley]

“Mr. Rimmer, in a hard-light body you can do anything a human can do. With the added bonus you are practically indestructible.”

“I can’t be hurt?”

“Your pleasure and pain responses remain the same but you cannot come to harm.”

[Dave]

?Your pleasure and pain responses remain the same but you cannot cum to harm.?

[locusceruleus]

Holly brushes Rimmer’s teeth in series 1 too, and gives him a shower…just thought that had to figure in somewhere too.

[peas_and_corn]

?Your pleasure and pain responses remain the same but you cannot pleasure Lister on screen.?

[Tyrell Corporation]

I will personally kick the fuck out of all of you if this thread continues.

[Ben Paddon]

I’d love to quote “Simon the Sorcerer” here, but unfortunately I think I’m the only bugger on this forum who’s played it.

[John Hoare]

I played it! Years ago, and it was a floppy version without Chris Barrie’s voice, mind. Only the first game, too, unfortunately.

Still, it was tremendous. Swampy upset the fuck out of me, though…

[Tyrell Corporation]

OH GOD.

Swampy…

You bastard, thanks for bringing back some pained childhood memories.

[Ben Paddon]

Chris Barrie is excellent as Simon in the first game, although I do like Brian Bowles’ version in Simon II and Simon 3D (even if Simon 3D was crap, it was still very funny… I might muster up the will to finish it one day). There are a couple of lines that Chris mis-reads, though – when he gives the money to the wizards in the tavern for his Wizardry membership, he says “There you are” as if he was looking for someone and just found them. I chalk that up to the director of the project, though, not Chris.

I found out at the end of last week that Simon the Sorcerer 4 has finally had an English language release, so I’m snagged a copy from Amazon UK for the remarkably cheap price of ?5 (plus international shipping, natch).

[Ben Paddon]

Although having just watched the trailer for the English version of Simon 4, the voice acting is really, really bad. I’m actually wincing. I don’t think I’ve ever winced before.

Simon has an American accent! Calypso doesn’t sound anything like he did in the first three games! The bad guy sounds like Calypso did in the first three games! What the Hell is going on?

[Tarka Dal]

I nominate this thread as one I never ever want to read again.

[Seb Patrick]

I read this thread on a different forum first. It was emailed exclusively by Zombie Jim to this other forum before anywhere else on the internet.

[Mr Flibble]

This is slowly turning into that “things we already knew” thread we had the other week.

[Pete Part Three]

But, of course, we all know that.

[Author]

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